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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28778409">The Man Who Never Speaks</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/falicewins/pseuds/falicewins'>falicewins</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Riverdale (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Isolation, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Soulmates, Sweetwater River, War flashbacks, faith - Freeform, falice - Freeform, woods</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:55:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>131,078</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28778409</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/falicewins/pseuds/falicewins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Alice 'Ice Queen' Smith moves to Riverdale to become the new Mayor, she unexpectedly meets someone at the edge of the woods when her tire flattens. The only thing is, he doesn't say a word. Later she comes to learn this man is 'the man who never speaks' going by the name of FP Jones. </p><p>Who is this man? And does he have anything to do with the growing drug trade in Riverdale? Why doesn't he talk to anyone in town? Does Alice have to hide something about herself as well and is that the reason she finds herself being drawn to this mysterious man? Is it that they may have more in common than they would think at first sight? One thing is for sure, they are no crazy people. Just crazy stories. Right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alice Cooper/FP Jones II, Cheryl Blossom/Veronica Lodge, Fred Andrews/Mary Andrews</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Hell is Other People</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"They told me all of my cages were mental<br/>So I got wasted like all my potential<br/>And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad<br/>I have a lot of regrets about that."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was dark outside, a sight that somehow didn't give her the same peaceful feeling it usually did. She had been driving for hours and the sleep was terribly kicking in. Her eye lids were heavy and she would swear that the only reason she stayed awake was her fear of hitting a crossing deer if she wouldn't pay attention.</p><p>Even when today was supposed to be a new start for Alice, she felt everything but excited. The gloomy clouds above her and the trees hovering over the road, blocking the night sky wasn't helping her mood either.</p><p>If she looked out of her car window on her left side she could see a glance of the stars that gave only the slightest bit of light on the road that was so unknown to her. Barely the only thing she had seen from the airport was this never ending route, which was supposed to bring her to the town of Riverdale.</p><p>Alice had never been there before in her entire life, and yet she was chosen to stir the ship of this still mysterious and unfamiliar town to her. But no matter the circumstances, her heart had jumped a little when she heard she had been elected as mayor.</p><p>How that could have happened was still a mystery to her but she had stopped worrying about that very quickly. It was a job, once she had to take. In the end it gave her exactly what she needed— a fresh start away from everything and everyone she had ever known.</p><p>Even when the surroundings of the woods and the echoing sound of a river stream close by was making her shiver a little bit, she couldn't get herself to miss the West Coast. The universe had given her a second chance and she'd take that with open arms. Nobody would know a thing about her here— just the way she preferred.</p><p>And so, she couldn't be bothered by the fact that she was on her way to a home that she had never seen before, in a town at the East coast that she was now the captain of, even when she had no single idea where she ended up. Ironically enough, she felt a little like Alice in Wonderland, only without a white rabbit for her to follow.</p><p>However, her journey to her new life was off to a rocky start as she heard a bang behind her, followed by her car leaning  to its right side as it kept on hitting the road over and over again. Alice instantly it the breaks to stop her car from moving. To her fortune, she ended at the side of the road, her car safely out of the way for any other passenger.</p><p>She clenched her steering wheel into her hands, making her already cold knuckles turn white as she exhaled deeply. <em>Great</em>. She was in the middle of the woods in a town she didn't know and her car decided to act up. Once she had turned off the engine, she pulled on her car door to step outside and meet the damage.</p><p>“Are you kidding me?” She frowned and felt a wave of frustration hitting her as she looked at her flattened tire.</p><p>So much for a good begin of her so called fresh start. It was strange though, as she hadn't seen anything on the road that could have caused her tire to suddenly burst. Maybe she had been more tired than she thought she was.</p><p>“Great start, Alice.” She mumbled to herself and leaned against her car before letting out an exasperated sigh.</p><p>Though, her luck seemed to be changing when another car was driving her way, the two headlights almost blinding her. Before she could even wave her hand for help, the car was pulling over as if it could sense that she stranded at the side of the road and had no idea how to fix her problem. She had a lot of talents, but fixing her tire was definitely not one of them.</p><p>The car stopped across of her at the side of the woods, and turned off his engine but kept the lights on to be able to see a little in the badly lighted road.</p><p>A man stepped out of the car. He was wearing a suit that looked more expensive than any other outfit she had ever seen, which said a lot considering she was used to wearing designer suits for her work. She liked to look professional at all times, but this was even a little much for her style.</p><p>“Need any help?” He asked her with a small, seemingly inviting smile on his face.</p><p>“I'm afraid so.” She offered him a slight smile back as her way of thanking him for stopping to check if she was in trouble.</p><p>Maybe she'd come to learn that the people in this town were really helpful to one another. Support like that was something she really craved, even from people she didn't know just yet.</p><p>“The name is Hiram. Hiram Lodge.” He held out his hand for her to shake, which she accepted. His hand was firm. He was a real business man, that she could feel.</p><p>“I'm Alice.” She offered him a smile, purposely keeping her last name to herself. People would come to learn who she was and what she was coming to do real soon anyway.</p><p>Politicians were never that popular and she'd liked to have at least one person she could meet without judgement. Not talking about herself was the least she could do for someone who selflessly stopped to help out a stranger. However, this wasn't how she expected to meet people in the area, but it was a start nonetheless.</p><p>“I know that. You're the new mayor.” Hiram eyed her up and down, as if he was checking out every single inch of her, trying to read something that may or may not have been there. It freaked her out for a reason she would later come to understand.</p><p>Alice was caught a little off guard by the revelation that he knew who she was, and opened her mouth to say something, but she wasn't sure what to. How could he possibly know that already? She hadn't said her last name, but had he recognized her face from some campaign pictures?</p><p>He bended down in front of her flattened tire and pretended to have no idea how to solve a problem. No, he had a different plan, one she didn't seem to be suspecting yet. Truth was, as long as she had a spare it wouldn't even take more than fifteen minutes to help her out but that was information he'd rather keep to himself.</p><p>“Looks like I can't fix it.” He sighed deeply, as he got up from his heels again and gave her his most innocent look.</p><p>Alice's face fell. Did she really have to call road services and wait for basically two hours in the middle of the woods when it was already dark outside?</p><p>“What about I'll give you a ride home? You're more than welcome to stay in The Pembrooke, my estate.” He smiled cheekily as he took a step closer to her. Hiram would swear it was a solid plan, but he had underestimated her from the very start.</p><p>Suddenly, Alice realized that maybe he hadn't stopped to help her out, but that his intentions weren't as pure as she hoped. Again, her night was only getting worse.</p><p>The last thing she wanted was to go home with some strange man. No, Alice Smith didn't come to town to meet anyone new. She had herself and she was more than fine with that.</p><p>“Thanks for the offer, but I'll call road services.” She gave a him a slight nod to thank him for checking her car and reached for her phone in her back pocket. However, she didn't know Hiram Lodge yet, but he wouldn't give up that quickly.</p><p>“That might take a while. Come, it's not far.” He gestured with his hand to his car and wanted to grab her arm with the other, but Alice took a step back and send him a warning look. If they could kill, he'd probably be dead by now.</p><p>“I said no. I'm fine.” She stated more firmly this time, telling him once again that she wasn't interested in staying the night with someone she had just met.</p><p>Besides his strange proposal, the last thing she wanted was to give into his attempt to seduce her, (if she could really call it that, the more he asked, the more she was repelled) especially because he was a stranger that she met at the side of the woods in the dark.</p><p>“Don't be difficult, is this how you treat a gentleman?” Hiram scoffed slightly and made another attempt to go her way, his face far less friendly than before. If she wasn't going with him voluntarily, maybe she needed a little bit more force.</p><p>Alice wanted to open her mouth to call him out and even use self defense if she needed to, but the look of the man in front of her suddenly changed completely. His eyes were less fiery and more scared. She saw him swallow, as his eyes drifted behind her.</p><p>“FP Jones...” Hiram gritted the name through his teeth as he instantly took step away from Alice. Almost as if the sight of the stranger behind her was enough to scare him. But why? Who was this figure?</p><p>Alice slowly turned around and now noticed that there was a man standing there. Even when it was dark outside, the combination of the stars and the headlights of Hiram's car just shone enough light on him for her to see his facial structure.</p><p>And though Hiram seemed to be scared, she couldn't help but see something innocent sparkling in his brown orbs. But he wasn't looking at her yet. His eyes looked directly at Hiram like he could kill him in a blink of an eye.</p><p>“You know what, have a nice evening.” Hiram narrowed his eyes at the man who followed his every step and didn't look away from him until he stepped into his car and drove away. She had no idea how this man had done it, but without saying a word, he had scared him away.</p><p>Alice finally breathed out as she realized that Hiram was truly gone. She had no trouble dealing with business men, but his behavior was crossing a line.</p><p>However, the rustling of the leaves reminded her that she wasn't alone just yet. The mysterious person who had scared away the creep that is Hiram Lodge was still standing there.</p><p>Although she felt like she should've been scared when even a grown, strong, man like Hiram didn't know how fast he had to run upon seeing him, she felt completely peaceful, as if her gut knew she could trust the man that had saved her a fight with him.</p><p>“Is that what you do? Waiting in the woods to help women in need to be a hero? I don't recall asking for a savior.” She commented sassily, but shot him a smile to tell him that she was joking.</p><p>Though, the man didn't say a word. Instead, he walked over to the back of her car and grabbed her spare tire and the tools next to it to help her out.</p><p>Alice watched him a little in bewilderment. The last thing she had expected was for him to actually help her with the problem that made her strand at the side of the woods in the first place. In complete silence he kneeled down next to her car and started working to help enough for her to hit the road again.</p><p>“And why do you assume I can't fix a tire?” Alice crossed her arms as she felt a little insulted that he made that assumptions about her.</p><p>FP paused his movement and looked up at her with a raised eyebrow, asking her the obvious question.</p><p>“Alright, I can't.” She gave in, sighing a little. </p><p>For some reason she expected for him to start talking to her, but he didn't. Maybe ask her about what she was doing in the woods, where she was heading, or even just a question about what Hiram wanted form her.</p><p>But nothing. All he did was making sure her new tire was on there as tightly as possible, so she wouldn't strand again after a few hundred meters.</p><p>“You're not very talkative, are you?” She asked him as he stood up to hand her back her tools.</p><p>FP pretended he didn't hear her. It was none of her business anyway. There was no reason for chit chat, so he wouldn't join into her attempt to start a conversation with him. The way he was trying to avoid her eyes told her enough.</p><p>Though, she felt like it was a little rude to not even introduce themselves to one another, she was already grateful that he had been willing to help her out.</p><p>So, instead of calling after him when he was done, she watched him leave up the trail that was leading into the woods. He disappeared between the trees, leaving her a little speechless.</p><p>All she could see was a path leading to an old wooden cabin further away. It was barely in sight, it was the light of the stars that made it lucky for her eye to fall on it. She assumed it was where he stayed, but before she could blink, he was suddenly gone.</p><p>**</p><p>After driving for only a few minutes (the town had been closer than she had expected) she arrived in<em> 'Riverdale — the town with Pep,' </em>which based on her drive here she found hard to believe.</p><p>One of the first things she saw when she passed the train tracks was a brightly lighted diner called Pop's, welcoming her with a red neon sign. Even when she wasn't one for fast food, her stomach was grumbling enough for her to make a stop.</p><p>The bell above her head rinkled when she entered and a few pairs of eyes shot her way. She noticed teenagers hanging around the booths with black leather jackets and what she assumed was a green snake on the back. They all seemed to match. A redheaded girl behind the counter looked at her intensely before her red colored lips twisted into a smirk.</p><p>“Well, well, well. Look who we've got here.” She crossed her arms and waited for the woman to walk her way.</p><p>“News travels fast, I see.” Alice raised her eyebrow as she sat down on the barstool right in front of her. It appeared that it wasn't only Hiram Lodge who knew her name. Maybe she had underestimated how involved people had been in the election for their new mayor.</p><p>“You're not from here.” The girl stated, her smile disappearing this time. Alice froze a little. Was that a bad thing?</p><p>A raven haired girl came walking out of the kitchen and stood still instantly when her eyes met Alice. She ignored her staring look for a second and focused back on the comment the other girl had just made.</p><p>“And why is that a problem, Miss...” Alice waited for her to fill in her name. This wasn't exactly the welcome she had expected but the least she could do was try to remain civil. After all, it was her job to understand the people of Riverdale.</p><p>“Blossom. Cheryl Blossom.” She introduced herself, but she didn't held out her hand for her to shake. Alice looked at the girl next to her, waiting for her to do the same.</p><p>“Veronica Lodge. We own this diner.” Veronica explained as she gestured between the two of them.</p><p>She didn't look at her like a tiger that was about to eat its prey, but there was something else about her introduction that made Alice shiver.</p><p>She tensed up even more, a feeling that she should have never taken this job washing over her. It was the second time in a timespan of an hour that she heard that last name.</p><p>“In high school and running a business? Very impressive.” She complimented them to help improve the uncomfortable tension hanging in the diner. They weren't the only ones there, and the other teenagers around them were staring at Alice just as much.</p><p>“What are you really doing here, Ms. Smith?” Cheryl leant against the counter and looked at her directly, telling her with one simple look that she wasn't welcome here.</p><p>It was intimidating, but Alice reminded herself that they were just teenagers, nothing more, nothing less.</p><p>“Doing the job than I was asked to so, Miss Blossom.” She said calmly, raising a sassy eyebrow to the girl.</p><p>In a way, she reminded her a lot of herself. When she was young, she didn't rust just anybody either.</p><p>But Cheryl wasn't easily impressed. If one thing they didn't appreciate, it were strangers. And to them? Alice couldn't be more unknown. A woman that moves across the country just to be mayor of a small town was highly suspicious to her. They had never seen her before and suddenly she had one of the most important jobs in town?</p><p>“The only reason people elected a Mayor that they've never met before, is because they refuse to bow for Hiram Lodge. We only trust people from here. So, I wouldn't get cocky if I were you.” Cheryl whispered lowly, as she came real close to Alice's face.</p><p>Again, Alice felt like her heart skipped a beat. Was this the reason he had known her from her appearance? Hiram had been running for mayor as well? Was he hated this much that they had elected <em>her</em>?</p><p>When her old campaign manager had proposed for her to run her election here, she had never expected to succeed. She had never even been there to talk to the people of town, making her chances even worse. Apparently they'd do anything for Hiram not to win, even electing a stranger.</p><p>“Is that your father?” Alice dared to ask, ignoring Cheryl's comment as she turned to Veronica.</p><p>The girl poked her cheek with her tongue and adverted her gaze. It was clear she didn't want to answer that. Alice cleared her throat.</p><p>“Can I order something or might that be too difficult?” After all, she was here to pick up something to eat as she was growing more hungry every single second. After hours of driving from the airport, she deserved a good burger.</p><p>“Sure. It's on the house, Madam Mayor.” Cheryl grabbed her notepad and smiled a little sassy, making Alice return the smirk.</p><p>She was challenging her, but honestly? Alice didn't mind at all. Maybe it was good that she had to win the trust of the citizens of the town. It gave her a real task, a real challenge, something to keep her distracted from all her demons.</p><p>“You've chosen a wonderful moment to become Mayor. With the drug trade and all.” Veronica brought in, carefully.</p><p>She eyed the woman to see how she reacted. Alice had no idea what she was talking about but kept her face neutral to not give her the satisfaction of catching her off guard. There seemed to be going on more than she had thought at first sight.</p><p>“I bet FP Jones is behind it, that weird man in the woods.” Veronica added, shaking her head disapprovingly. The scowl on her face bothered Alice, for reasons she didn't quite understood.</p><p>“Let the Sheriff do their work, miss Lodge.” Alice said calmly, as she accepted the coffee that was handed over by Cheryl. It was her job to stay unbiased, at least as long nobody was proven guilty of anything.</p><p>“Did you hear about him already? He is known as <em>the man who never speaks</em>. People think he has gone crazy.” Cheryl exaggerated with a twinkle of mischief in her eyes.</p><p>It had been rumored for a long time now, but the teenagers of the town had really picked it up. The story had been the number one subject of gossip for months and it didn't seem to bleed out soon.</p><p>Alice ignored the comments, even when her mind was racing. The man she had just met, was he really as crazy as they said he was? He hadn't spoken a word to her, so that part was true. Could the rest be the truth also? Before she could even begin to spiral, Cheryl snapped her out of her thoughts.</p><p>“Talk about crazy... You have a quite impressive history to, don't you? Didn't the people in your past town refer to you as an <em>Ice Queen?”</em> Cheryl smirked before licking her pearly white teeth and grabbed a news paper out of one of the drawers to place it right in front of her.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Alice Smith: The Story of an Ice Queen.</em> </b>
</p><p>Alice froze. They knew. Everything she had been running away from had been catching up on here way quicker than she would have ever thought. She felt someone clenching her heart together, even so much that she wanted to throw up. <em>This couldn't be happening</em>. Though, she wasn't going to show the two teenagers that they got her with this.</p><p>“There are no crazy people, Cheryl. Only crazy stories.” She said calmly, before grabbing the news paper and keeping it close.</p><p>For today, she had enough. The last thing she wanted was to give the two unwelcoming girls the satisfaction of her breaking down.</p><p>But as she went to her new home, she wasn't only thinking about the stories they had once written about her. The opposite, actually. She was just as much thinking about what they had said about FP. For a second she had judged him based on what she heard and felt incredibly bad about that.</p><p>Alice knew how much damage the stories of other people about who you really are could do to a person and so she didn't want for him to go through the same— even if he was a total stranger.</p><p>**</p><p>The following morning, FP woke up after a rainy night. From the tiny opening in the curtains of his window, he could see the damp on the grass, telling him that the rain had stopped only recently. The only bright side of it all was that the vegetables in his garden were getting enough water.</p><p>Right now, the sun was coming through the clouds, forcing him to open his curtains just a little bit more. If he wanted to, he could have stayed in bed all day. Instead, it looked like a good opportunity to work in his garden this afternoon. It was his way to stay self sufficient and he liked it that way.</p><p>While yawning, he slowly made his way over to the kitchen to pour himself some milk, but before he could even do so his eye fell on a little envelop on his doormat.</p><p>He barely got mail, especially since the place he lived, wasn't even an official address. It must have been brought by someone who knew where he lived. It couldn't be Mary, she always came in if she had something to give him.</p><p>He bend down to pick it up with a suspicious but curious frown on his face. It could very well be a prank from some teenagers who thought it was funny to tease him, but when he turned the envelop around he found the name of the sender on the back. Alice Smith. Her address was right under her name. She lived on Elm Street. However, he didn't know anyone called Alice.</p><p>Even more curious than before, he opened the envelope and found a little note inside in her beautiful handwriting.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Thank you for changing my tire. I owe you a favor. If I can ever do something for you, please don't hesitate to reach out.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>All the best,</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Alice.</em> </b>
</p><p>He smiled a little to himself. Then he remembered. The woman he voted for, her name was Alice. The woman he had helped out with her tire. Maybe this new mayor wasn't so bad after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Rain Comfort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"The Devil's in the details, but you've got a friend in me<br/>Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following week, Alice kept on thinking about the mysterious man that had been so generous to help her out. Something about him caught her attention, making it unable to stop herself from dreaming. A special feeling, one she couldn't describe, told her that FP wasn't like the others. Maybe he was more like her.</p><p>After sending him the note to thank him for his help, Alice expected for it to end there. It had felt good to show him her gratitude, especially to someone who had no idea who she was.</p><p>Meeting him, had so far been the only moment without any judgement, without her past following her. As if he had taken all that away for just a little bit. But FP was obviously not much of a people's person and if she had to believe the story that has been told about him, he wasn't a talker either.</p><p>However, to her surprise she found a note in her mail a few days later. It had a post stamp on it and a handwriting she didn't recognize. Alice wondered who could have possibly sent something to her new address, considering she didn't have any friends in town (and neither did she in her old town, they would have never written her).</p><p>Curious to find out who would sent her this note, she opened the light blue envelop to read what was inside. She came to learn that it was FP who had written her back.</p><p>
  <b> <em>You're welcome. I hope you settled into your new home. Watch out a little for Hiram.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— FP</em> </b>
</p><p>Alice couldn't stop a grin from curling on her lips. Maybe he was as curious about her as she was about him. It was a small gesture, but for a woman who had just moved across the country to a new town where people were colder than she would have hoped, a small note like this felt like a warm bath.</p><p>The last thing she had expected was for him to reply, especially since she had learned that he didn't speak. Maybe he was more comfortable writing someone.</p><p>Before she could even allow herself to think about FP's relationship with the people of town, his warning had awakened a lot of questions. Hiram was a little creepy, but would he really cross a line? She decided to write him back, even if she had no idea if he would appreciate that.</p><p>
  <b> <em>My new home is fine. It has only been a week but it's a nice place to live. Trying to get to know the town a little. Don't worry about Hiram Lodge, I can protect myself perfectly well. What's his deal?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>Instead of sending it by mail like he had done, she had stopped by his little cabin exactly the way she had done with her very first note. After all, there was no address to send her notes to. There was no other choice than to go back to the place close to where they had met. In daylight, the woods looked a little bit less spooky.</p><p>Still, it made her feel like the trees were carrying a secret and it made her wonder about why he lived so far away from the rest of the town. Maybe they had scared him away enough to live in the woods. She didn't even know if he was all alone, but if she had to believe the story Cheryl Blossom and Veronica Lodge had told her, there was no doubt about FP being all by himself.</p><p>The first time she had barely noticed the way it looked from the outside. When she had gone to deliver the note in his small, green and rusty mailbox she had hesitated to knock on his door and have a talk. However, a call inside her stopped her from doing so, afraid that it would cross a line that could never be crossed.</p><p>She settled for delivering the note, leaving it up to him whether he wanted to reach out to her or not. The will to talk to him and simply knock on his door to greet FP, had stopped her from actually looking at his cabin. Now she wasn't as nervous anymore, she could really look at the tiny wooden house.</p><p>Alice could see that his red checkered curtains were closed, making it impossible for her to take a peek inside. From her point of view she could see his backyard, which was technically part of the woods. It seemed to appear that he payed attention to what she assumed was part of his garden.</p><p>This didn't seem like a man who abandoned his growing vegetables, but more like someone who worked really hard to keep his garden clean and fruitful.</p><p>For some reason she had expected for the wood of the cabin to be covered in ivy from lack of protecting it, but it was no where in sight. You could see that somewhere had been around to take care of it.</p><p>Before she would linger too much around the cabin, she made herself leave. It wasn't her place to be here and she definitely didn't want to impose.</p><p>Part of her had expected and mostly hoped for him to write back, especially since she had purposely ended her note with a question, leaving an opportunity for him to take the bait.</p><p>Alice knew she shouldn't hope too much to get an answer back from someone who clearly wasn't fond of contact with other people. She was trying not to let her own need of having a friend take over her and stopping thinking of whether he wanted the same. Her doubts had been occupying her thoughts, but another three days later, her calls had been answered.</p><p>She received another blue colored note back, again with a post stamp on it. Apparently he didn't dare to put it in her mailbox himself. Could it be true that he really didn't come into town, hence why he didn't dared to stop by her house personally?</p><p>
  <b> <em>Have you been to Pop's already? Used to come there as a kid. Their food is the best. I just don't trust Hiram, that is all.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— FP</em> </b>
</p><p>The more they wrote, the more Alice found herself checking her mail more often to see if he had responded yet. Involuntarily, her heart jumped a little every time she saw his signature colored envelope in her mailbox.</p><p>She would never say it out loud to anyone, but she had been lonely for a long time and getting a letter that was specially for her, made her feel less alone in this unknown town.</p><p>Truthfully, she couldn't even remember the last time she really felt like she had a friend to count on. So far he was the only other person besides her colleagues that she had talked to, and they had to if they wanted to keep on doing their job.</p><p>The difference was, he chose to write her. He chose to talk to her. Maybe FP was going to be her first friend. If she was being totally honest with herself, she really needed that.</p><p>
  <b> <em>I stopped by the diner on my first night. They all knew who I was already. So far for a clean start.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>Usually, she wasn't the kind of person to openly share concerns or anything that was bothering her. She had learned that the hard way. And yet, it felt natural to write him back like this.</p><p>She wondered if it was because she knew people talked about him the way they had talked about her. Alice knew like no other that stories weren't always what they seemed. It made her feel drawn to him even if she had no idea if he even knew about all that had been said.</p><p>For FP, things were even a lot more confusing. He wasn't used to having contact with anyone besides one single friend that he had known for decades, let alone that writing to someone who was basically still a stranger was an everyday thing.</p><p>But maybe it was because he didn't speak to her directly, that it felt good. For the longest time, he didn't have someone who chose to talk to him, but she had. It made her special compared to all the others.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Sounds like you're running away from something. Is is bad that they know you? Doesn't that work in your favor?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— FP</em> </b>
</p><p>FP had realized the personal observation in his note. However, that was the perk of writing to one another and not having a direct face to face conversation; if she didn't want to talk about it she could simply ignore his statement.</p><p>He had surprised himself by writing those words down, especially since he wasn't used to be curious about anyone else. Things were great, when he was alone. But she had sought contact with him, which was a brand new experience. There was a reason he didn't quite understand of why he wasn't scared to write her back.</p><p>When Alice read his words, she had to swallow. For a brief second she thought it be better to not write at all, as her fear of him seeing through her without having spoken one word to one another was frightening her. Alice didn't want to be scared, not of the person that she trusted to have good intentions.</p><p>Her darkest demons told her to run before she would be to vulnerable, a place she didn't want to be in anymore. But there was a voice stronger than she was, a voice that told her to write him back, no matter what. If he was going to be a friend, she needed to respond. To protect herself, she decided to dodge his question.</p><p>
  <b> <em>You'd think so. But no, I do't think this works in my favor. People around here aren't so fond of strangers.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>It was an observation she had made the first night she had come into town. Cheryl Blossom and Veronica Lodge had made very clear that the only reason she got the job with so little effort was because people were more scared of Hiram Lodge than they were scared of strangers. However, that meant that once she started she had to work twice as hard to keep her promises.</p><p>FP couldn't help it but to feel a wave of familiarity wash over him. He had lived here all his life, but to the new generation in town? He was the stranger. He was the crazy man in the woods. He was the one that they didn't know and didn't understand.</p><p>There was no use in trying to fight all the stories about him, when he didn't even want to be part of the town. Alice however, didn't have that choice. She needed to participate in that battle.</p><p>
  <b> <em>It's hard to win people's trust. But I am sure you've got this. It was either that or Hiram Lodge as our mayor, so people should be grateful. I voted for you.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— FP</em> </b>
</p><p>Even though FP was barely in town, he was fully aware of everything that was going on. Of course he had his friend to keep him up to date about the current events, but he wasn't blind either. He got the weekly paper being brought to him by Mary, who always told him whatever was keeping the town busy.</p><p>Not that he wanted to meddle or even cared that much, but she was his only connection to the town that kept so many treasured memories. When it came to the elections, he heard enough to know how people felt about having Hiram for mayor. It was one of his reasons to have voted for Alice.</p><p>Alice smiled as she read his note. In a matter of weeks they had been writing more often, even up to the point that they received a note every other day.</p><p>Up till now, Alice had never seen him outside of his cabin every single time that she brought her note and she had never dared to knock either. It made her wonder if he <em>ever</em> even came outside, but she didn't think it was appropriate to ask. The fact that he had voted for her made her heart glow.</p><p>
  <b> <em>You did? Even without knowing me? Thanks, though.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>She tried to remain modest, but she truly appreciated every single one of Riverdale's citizens who had voted for her. After all, it was because of them she had gotten this new start. Now, she had to fight really hard to gain their trust, but she was determined to make it work and do the best she could.</p><p>It was a promise she had made to the town and to herself. She wasn't going to break it. After weeks, people were still being cold and it was clear that the battle had started. Things weren't alright yet and maybe they wouldn't be for a while, at least it seemed like the beginning of a new friendship. FP wrote her back very quickly.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Yes. Nobody can be worse than Hiram Lodge. Besides, I am certain you'll do a good job. It's nice to have a woman stir the ship for a change, this town is very conservative. Might change things for the better.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— FP</em> </b>
</p><p>Alice was cuddled up under a blanket on her couch when she read his most recent note. It made her feel warm inside, hearing that someone really believed she could make a difference.</p><p>She hoped that as a woman she could bring change that no man could ever bring. It was a challenge she had given herself as well, but knowing that someone else gave her that kind of trust was a great confidence boost.</p><p>
  <b> <em>So far for no pressure. But seriously, I do appreciate that. It's good to know at least one person believes that I can succeed. By the way, where does FP stand for?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>**</p><p>On her first free afternoon as mayor, Alice decided to change into her work-out clothes and go for a run. In her whole 'fresh start' plan, staying fit was one of the things she really wanted to achieve. Besides, Riverdale had lots of nature around town that were perfect to zone out from daily life and go for an old school run.</p><p>She had chosen the one route that she almost new by heart now due to her little trips to deliver her notes to FP. It was an easy path to follow and turned into a loop at the end, so she could follow exactly the same path back. For a stranger in the area it was the ideal way not to get lost.</p><p>However, she had completely miscalculated the weather, as in the middle of her run the clouds suddenly broke, creating a torrent right above her.</p><p>She heard one big thunder echoing through the woods and in a matter of a second she was soaking wet from the rainfall. The air around her turned cold and her skin covered in goosebumps as the rain covered her body. As fast as possible, she ran to the nearest and biggest tree she could find for the slightest bit of shelter.</p><p>Her hair stuck to her cheeks and her work-out clothes were sticking to her skin. If the sky was going to thunder even more, she needed to get out of there as soon as possible. She could take a little rain no matter the cold, but being surrounded by trees in the middle of a thunderstorm was dangerous. The only thing was, running back home was going to cost her at least thirty minutes.</p><p>But then Alice had a sudden brainwave. FP's cabin was close, that she was sure of. If she wanted to get a little shelter to stay safe, it was her only solution.</p><p>For a second she doubted whether stopping by so unexpectedly was a good idea, but then it started to rain even harder which made the ultimate decision for her. The echo in the woods was getting louder, making her more afraid that she would admit. As fast as she could she ran up the small hill, up to the path that lead to the cabin.</p><p>When she finally arrived at his door even wetter than she thought was possible in the rain, her hand hesitated mid-air. She knew that she was crossing a line by stopping by without asking him first, but there was no way she could stay outside in this weather.</p><p>As soon as it would be over, she would leave if he wanted her to, but for now she didn't see any other option for her to be safe. Her hand touched the wooden door as she knocked several times so she'd be sure that if he was inside, he could hear her.</p><p>“FP? Are you home?” She yelled from outside, squinting her eyes together so the raindrops that dripped down from her hair wouldn't get in her eyes.</p><p>Alice could hear someone fumble with the locks on the door and barely a second later she was met by FP for the second time, who looked at her with a confused frown. He felt his heart skip a beat, having the woman he had written for weeks suddenly on his doorstep in the middle of a thunder storm.</p><p>“Can I come in?” She asked him, raising her voice to be louder than the rain around her.</p><p>FP nodded and immediately took a step aside so she could enter his house to prevent her from standing in the rain for any longer.</p><p>Alice immediately clamped her arms around her in a failed attempt to warm herself up. Her body was as cold as ice and she was trembling, but walking into his cabin made her feel warmer instantly.</p><p>“Sorry, the clouds suddenly gave in, catching me in the rain.” She chuckled a little uncomfortable, her teeth clattering from the cold.</p><p>FP didn't answer, instead he disappeared to a room in the back, leaving Alice behind in confusion, before returning with a warm, cosy blanket. At first he wanted to hand it over to her so she could wrap it around her cold body, but then he chose to unfold it and took step closer to her.</p><p>A little uncomfortably and nervous he wrapped the blanket around her until it covered almost her whole upper body. Keeping her warm was the least he could do after she had been caught in a storm, but taking care of people had never been his strong suit. In fact, he knew that if he had taken better care of someone so dear to him, that this person would have still been here.</p><p>“Thank you. That's a lot better.” She smiled gratefully and snuggled into the blanket a little more.</p><p>It felt different seeing him again, instead of writing back and forth. As if they didn't know anything to say once they were looking into each other's eyes. In a way, they had gotten to know each other a little bit, maybe even became friends, but now she was standing in front of him and neither of them knew what to say. Alice decided to try and break the silence.</p><p>“It's nice seeing you again. Especially after our notes. It has been a long time since I've send someone handwritten letters.” She laughed a little with a warm smile plastered over her face, trying to lighten the mood.</p><p>She sat down on the couch and rubbed the blanket a little bit more on her skin for it to soak up the water.</p><p>By now, she had expected for FP to say something as well, but he didn't. He looked so... nervous. Although, she couldn't completely understand why. She wasn't scary to talk to was she? Or where the stories true and did he really <em>never</em> speak?</p><p>“You really don't talk, do you?” She asked him softly, to tell him that she wasn't trying to judge him if he wasn't feeling comfortable enough.</p><p>FP opened his mouth to say something, but there didn't seem for any sound to leave his mouth. He was struggling, but trying. His heart was racing, something Alice couldn't see.</p><p>Having someone in his home, his safe haven, was terrifying. He wasn't sure how to handle having the woman he had been writing with suddenly in front of him, with a blanket around her on his couch.</p><p>“It's alright. You don't have to.” She quickly added with a soft and gentle tone in her voice.</p><p>By now, she figured that the story was true. He never spoke to anyone, not even to the people who had good intentions. Though, Alice wasn't sure she would mind if that was the case. Even without talking he seemed to be a very interesting person. She was convinced that even if he would never say a word to her, he could still be her friend.</p><p>“Are you okay with me staying here until the rain stops?” Alice asked, before she'd overstep by sitting here on his couch until the storm would pass. The last thing she wanted was to impose.</p><p>He nodded and even gave her a small smile, telling her that it was more than okay. It wasn't as if he didn't want to talk to her— <em>he really wanted to</em>.</p><p>But after years of talking to one single person, he wasn't sure how to speak to anyone who was so new to him. Almost as if he had to learn to do that again. But if he would decide to talk to someone again for the first time in decades, he was sure she would be the one.</p><p>FP turned to the kitchen to heat up some hot water to make tea, which was always a good way to warm someone up who was cold.</p><p>While he was busy, Alice had stood up to walk around the living room. It was way homier inside than she had expected. Everything was definitely vintage, or at least decades old, but it was a style that perfectly fitted the house.</p><p>She could feel that everything inside was something personal, something that had a reason to be there. Her eyes fell on the different kind of elephant trinkets that he had around the room, making it seem like some sort of collection.</p><p>They were beautiful to her and it really sparked something in the space. It almost felt as if the elephants were watching them, but not in a scary way. It made her feel like they were there for protection, to make sure things would be fine. They had a special kind of magic that whether she wanted to believe it or not, she could feel.</p><p>Alice had walked over to the fireplace and grabbed one of the trinkets that was standing on the mantelpiece. FP turned around to bring her a cup of tea, until he stopped in his tracks when he saw what she was doing.</p><p>“Don't touch that!” He growled loudly, his eyes wide and the vein in his forehead throbbing dangerously.</p><p>Alice turned around and immediately placed the elephant back. She had no idea that she wasn't supposed to touch anything, but by the look on his face she could see that this was very serious to him. He had frozen in the kitchen with the kettle in his hand.</p><p>“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—” Alice started to stutter to defend herself, but knew perfectly well that she was the one in the wrong.</p><p>“Sorry. Really. I should have asked.” She said quietly, her eyes full of guilt.</p><p>As if she could disappear in the blanket, she pulled it closer around her body. FP breathed out again and placed to mugs on his small coffee table before filling them with the tea he had just made.</p><p>However, Alice wasn't sitting down on the couch again— <em>something else caught her attention</em>. it was an easel in the corner of the room, with a canvas on it.</p><p>Strangely enough, she hadn't seen it when she walked it. Maybe he had putted it into the darkest corner because he didn't want anyone to look at it, but she decided to at least ask him before she would overstep again.</p><p>“You're a painter?” Alice pointed at his supplies, noticing the brushed on the floor in a small bucket next to it.</p><p>FP nodded slightly, almost as if he was hesitating. He had never called himself a painter before. To him it was more a way of clearing his mind and dealing with emotions that he couldn't process any other way. It was his way to escape, something he couldn't live without.</p><p>The painting was pointed at the wall, making it impossible for her to see. She looked at him to get permission to look at it. He swallowed, afraid to show some of his work to someone else, especially since he had always been insecure about his art. It was so personal, so vulnerable, but her eyes were soft and innocent enough for him to trust her. Once again, FP nodded. He wasn't sure what had gotten into him but somehow he felt okay with her looking at his work.</p><p>Alice turned the easel around for her to take a peek at it and noticed the beautiful bright colors that he worked with. It was a stark contrast compared to the more beige and pastel colors of the cabin, almost as if all the color that was missing in the room, had been soaked into the painting.</p><p>“You have real talent. It's beautiful.” She smiled up at him and for the very first time he smiled back at her. His facial features, from his eyes, to his dimples to his smile, were beautiful to her and she hoped that she would see it more often.</p><p>Right next to her there was window where from the curtain was the slightest bit ajar. It was the only source of natural light coming inside the cabin, the rest of the windows' curtains were still closed.</p><p>Through the small gap she had a perfect view on the garden behind the cabin and she noticed different kind of vegetables. She had taken a quick look at it when she went to deliver the notes, but she had never seen it up close. It surprised her how much space there was. Was this how he could barely leave the house? By growing and making his own food?</p><p>“Do you grow your own vegetables?” She turned around, a smile still there on her face. FP took a few steps closer to her and nodded. He almost looked a little proud.</p><p>“Must be nice to make your own food and know exactly where it comes from.” She said her thought out loud.</p><p>But looking at the garden made her realize another thing. There was no rain anymore. She focused on the sounds of the roof, but there were no raindrops ticking on the wood any longer. It appeared that the storm had passed, meaning that they would part ways again.</p><p>“The rain has stopped... I should go home.” Alice unfolded the blanket from her body and handed it over to him.</p><p>Her skin was dry, but having the comfort falling from her shoulders made her shiver. She was cold instantly, but knew that if she'd run, she'd get warm again until she could take a shower at home.</p><p>Alice walked towards the front door of the cabin and wasn't so sure how to leave. But then FP spoke for the very first time, making her turn around.</p><p>“Forsythe Pendelton. That's my name.” He said softly, answering the question in the last note she had send him.</p><p>Alice smiled warmly, a gesture for the little bit of vulnerability he gave her and opened the door to walk outside again. Before she left, she gave him a friendly nod, thanking him for giving her shelter.</p><p>**</p><p>The following day, Alice came home around four, ending her day a little earlier than usual. She was searching for her keys in her bag when a voice called for her attention.</p><p>“Hi! Sorry to bother, but you're Alice Smith, right?” Alice looked up and was met by the friendly eyes of a redheaded woman.</p><p>“That's correct.” She smiled a little. Was this woman living next to her?</p><p>She walked over the the low fence and held out her hand. Alice shook it with a friendly smile.</p><p>“I'm Mary Andrews. I live next doors. Would you like a cup of coffee?” She proposed sweetly. All she knew as that this woman was new in town, and all Mary wanted was to give her a warm welcome.</p><p>“I'd love that. Thank you for offering.” It had been a long time since anybody had offered her something so generous. Maybe Mary was one of the people in town who wasn't so afraid of strangers.</p><p>“I haven't seen you the past few weeks, I almost thought that it was an empty house.” Alice laughed a little to lighten the mood as she followed Mary inside.</p><p>“I can see why you'd think that. I was in Chicago for work, that's why we haven't ran into each other before.” She explained with a small smile and gestured for Alice to sit down at the dinner table.</p><p>“Do you live here alone?” Alice asked curiously as Mary was making a fresh brew of coffee.</p><p>“I live with my son Archie. His Dad passed away shortly before he was born.” She answered as she came back with two mugs of coffee. She placed on in front of Alice, who smiled gratefully.</p><p>“I'm so sorry to hear that. If I am not crossing a boundary here, what happened to him?”</p><p>She knew that not everyone appreciated such personal questions (she wasn't even a fan of them herself) but Mary seemed like a genuine and sweet person. If she wanted to make a real friend in town, she felt like she needed to pay a real interest.</p><p>“He was in the army. I always told Archie how his Dad died a hero, but now he's a teenager he's having a lot more trouble not having met his father.” Mary sighed a little before she blew her coffee to prevent herself from getting a burn.</p><p>“That must be awful.” Alice said quietly.</p><p>Even when she knew what a painful loss felt like, losing your husband in the army or not getting to meet your father at all was a kind of pain she couldn't even begin to imagine.</p><p>“It is. It still is. Fred was a wonderful person. He wanted to change the world.” There tugged a small smile on Mary's face. Even if he had been gone for eighteen years now, she was still proud of him every single day.</p><p>“Anyway, enough talking about me. How about you? Did you move here with your family?” Mary turned the conversation around, before they'd be talking about Fred all night.</p><p>“No, I am by myself, just the way I like it.” Alice tried to force a grin, but Mary could see right through her. With one look she asked a simple question.</p><p>“Divorce.” Alice answered plainly and quickly averted her gaze. The last thing she wanted to talk about was the awful and painful divorce from her ex-husband Harold Cooper.</p><p>“Well, then maybe we can look out for one another. Every one needs that, don't they?” Mary placed her hand on Alice's.</p><p>She winched slightly. Alice wasn't used to getting comforted. It was nice, though. She almost felt that Mary was an angel being sent her way just to make her feel better.</p><p>“Even an <em>Ice Queen</em>?” Alice laughed bitterly.</p><p>“What?” Mary asked confused, not having any idea what she was talking about.</p><p>Alice had assumed that Cheryl and Veronica had gossiped the way about her the way they had done about FP, but maybe Mary had no idea what she was referring to because she was just back in town.</p><p>For a brief second, she thought that she could brush it off so she would never come to know, but Mary truly seemed like a warm, open and trustworthy person.</p><p>“That's what they used to call me, back in my past town.” Alice explained with a sad smile on her face.</p><p>Maybe she'd feel strong and secure enough to tell her the whole story one day, but for now it was all she could share.</p><p>“You don't seem as an Ice Queen to me, Alice.” said Mary sweetly, squeezing her hand assuringly. </p><p>She had never judged anyone on any story that would have been told and she certainly wouldn't do that with Alice, a woman who had a warm and bright energy.</p><p>“Thank you, Mary. I appreciate that.” Alice smiled back at her and realized that maybe her new neighbor was also her friend from this moment on.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Gray November<br/>I've been down since July<br/>Motion capture<br/>Put me in a bad light"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Silence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"I think I've seen this film before<br/>And I didn't like the ending."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Days after, the memory of FP and his little cabin in the woods kept on chasing her. It wasn't just the thought of his soft brown eyes that shimmered with hurt, or the flannel that somehow matched him perfectly even if she didn't really know him.</p><p>More so, the moment she had reached for the elephant at the mantelpiece. She had taken it into her hands, something that had clearly upset him. She had felt guilty ever since, especially since he had been so generous to give her shelter.</p><p>To ease her own mind and show him that she was genuinely sorry if she had done something that he couldn't easily forgive, Alice decided to send him another note.</p><p>At first she convinced herself it was out of politeness, to apologize and thank someone after they had done something nice for you, but truth was that she didn't want their conversations to end here. After all, she had come to learn that FP really wasn't a talker, so writing one another was their only option for now.</p><p>Once again, she followed the path back into the woods. By now, she knew the route by heart and could find her way back to his house with her eyes closed if she had to. It was refreshing to be surrounded by the trees as she made her way back to him, as if she was stepping into another world. His world. His territory.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Thank you for giving me shelter in the rain. I'm so sorry if I overstepped.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>After yelling at her, he hadn't expected to ever receive another note from her again. He had been way too scared to write one himself. She had been so open, so sweet, so wonderful and he had repaid her by letting his emotions get the best of him. It had been a long time since someone had been so close and it was terrifying.</p><p>FP dared to smile to himself as he read her note. From the moment she had closed the door behind her when she left, he had felt so incredibly guilty for ever raising his voice. He hadn't forgave himself for that and he had never thought she would ever forgive him.</p><p>Knowing that she didn't mind taking the lead was comforting. Now he knew that she had been thinking about him too, he wasn't so afraid to write her back. Fortunately, he had the chance to make sure that they were fine.</p><p>
  <b> <em>It's alright. Hopefully you don't have a cold.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— FP</em> </b>
</p><p>Alice wasn't even sure he was going to write her back. Even when she did try to understand him, it was hard to find out what was going on inside the head of a man who never speaks.</p><p>She wondered why she was still holding onto a possible friendship that could be complicated, when she had always made herself believe that she was fine without anyone to lean on. But when he yelled, she had been truly afraid that she had ruined everything.</p><p>It had looked like she had crossed a line and though he had told her his name right before she left, she figured that very moment was were it would end. <em>But he did write back</em>.</p><p>Reading that he thought about her health and that he wasn't mad at her made her heart glow more than it should. He wanted this blossoming friendship to continue as well, didn't he?</p><p>
  <b> <em>If I did say something wrong, please tell me. You looked mad.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>Usually, Alice wasn't the kind of person to worry that much about situations like these. She was a politician after all, pissing off people was basically what she got paid for.</p><p>However, she had seen a spark of hurt in his eyes that felt so familiar, as if she had seen it before. The least she owed him, she thought, was giving him an opening to open up, if he trusted her enough to do so.</p><p>There was something about him that was hard to explain. Alice had never believed in faith, she had more reasons to believe the exact opposite, but all she knew was that something stronger than herself was making her hold on. All the control that she so desperately wanted, had vanished. But the weird thing? She didn't mind at all.</p><p>Though, it made her wonder about FP's true nature and what it was that could be connecting them. One thing was for sure; there was more behind him than this very closed off person that he tried to be. She wanted to find out what was behind the wall that he had built around him and hoped that he would let her be the one to slowly break it down.</p><p>
  <b> <em>I'm not mad. All is good. Stay safe and be careful.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— FP</em> </b>
</p><p>He might not have to talk to her, writing her back slowly became more and more difficult. By being all by himself year after year, he had always been in control.</p><p>Suddenly, there was this woman that made her way into his life, without him having a say in it. The voices in his head were too loud, some of them only repeating Alice's name, the others telling him what would happen if he would let someone in.</p><p>In the past eighteen years, there had been only one other person who he had ever invited into his home. That person, that woman, was the one he trusted. The one he <em>had</em> to trust.</p><p>And Alice?It was the force of nature that brought her here, it had never been a choice. FP wanted to have a choice. He didn't want to be controlled. Having someone that he barely knew inside his safe haven had been a hard thing to adjust to.</p><p>However, it hadn't felt as uncomfortable as he thought it would. He was so used to only having those screaming demons reminding him of all the things that he should have done differently, but this time something new had happened, something unexpected.</p><p>There were voices telling him that maybe she was a blessing, that maybe he didn't have a reason to be scared. FP just couldn't figure out which one should win the battle. He could decide, but he had never been so indecisive.</p><p>The last thing he wanted was to drag her down in what he thought was the mess in his head, afraid to drown her, to scare someone away that he truly believed had a bright heart.</p><p>FP sincerely hoped that she would succeed in her job and stay away from people like Hiram Lodge, but as long as he couldn't figure out which one of the voices he could trust, he couldn't get himself to write her anything more.</p><p>
  <b> <em>You too. Would it be okay if I stop by sometime?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>Alice had decided to take a risk and look for rapprochement, as she figured that both of them needed that in some way. Her hands had been shaking as she wrote those words, a reaction from her body that she couldn't quite understand. Maybe part of her could feel his doubts, his insecurities, making her afraid of rejection.</p><p>However, it wouldn't stop her from writing him another note as if something else was driving her to fight for a connection. But after a couple of days, he still hadn't written back. Had she said something wrong? Was it rude of her to propose such thing?</p><p>After a week of no response, she decided to write him again. Alice wasn't even sure if it was a good idea to pressure him by sending him another note.</p><p>She was scared it would make things worse, but by not hearing anything from him she was driving herself insane. For days, she had been going over all the things she had written that could have upset him so much that he would ignore her.</p><p>When she delivered the note at his cabin, she thought for a brief second about knocking on the door to just ask him, but if she didn't want to lose a possible friend, she needed to play by the rules. His rules. It appeared to be that he didn't want anyone to come over, so stopping by unexpectedly would definitely ruin everything.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Sorry if that scared you away. It's more than fine if you don't want me to come over. All I meant was that we could have a cup of coffee as friends. I haven't met a lot of people here besides you and my neighbor.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>FP wanted to write her back. He really wanted to, but he just couldn't. As soon as he had folded open her note with the question to meet each other again, he got into a state of utter panic.</p><p>His heart had been racing in a way he could barely remember it had for a very long time, making it hard to snap out of it. He had sat himself down on the couch as stars formed in front of his eyes, afraid that he would faint.</p><p>If her request written on paper could make his body respond so intensely, how could he possibly be friends with her?</p><p>Seeing someone once to give them shelter was one thing, but purposely meeting up? He wasn't ready for that. Maybe not ever. Because if he'd agree, he had to talk to her— which as for right now he wasn't sure he could.</p><p>Writing each other had become a habit, one that he found himself looking forward to. But the more notes had been exchanged, the more afraid he had gotten.</p><p>He had never meant for it to get out of hand, for him to get emotionally invested. The more he got attached to her notes, the more he grew terrified. FP Jones didn't do friendships. <em>He could never do that again.</em></p><p>Another week past by after FP saw no other option than to ignore what she had written him, hoping that she'd give up. He wished he could give her what she needed, he wished he wasn't so afraid of a wonderful woman like her, but there was nothing he could do about it. If he wanted to protect himself, to protect her, it should end here.</p><p>But Alice was only growing more worried than she already was. Why did he suddenly stop replying to her? And though she tried to tell herself it were just a few silly notes, she knew it was way more than that.</p><p>FP was vulnerable, he was alone, and no matter how hard she pretended that wasn't the case for her, looking at him felt like staring right into a very confronting mirror. She decided to send one more note, even when she had a gut feeling that he wasn't going to respond anymore.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Is everything alright?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>Again, she didn't receive a note back.</p><p>**</p><p>The week after she had send her very last note, she tried her hardest not to end up in a negative spiral that would eat all her energy at day and at night. It had all gone south after she had asked him if they could have a cup of coffee together, which probably meant that she had misread any kind of friendship between them.</p><p>It broke her heart, that knowing that one of the few people she could truly see herself being friends with in this strange town, didn't want to have anything to do with her.</p><p>But they had a connection, didn't they? And even if he didn't want to talk to her anymore, he could have at least told her that. One simple note was all it would take. Wasn't she even worth that explanation?</p><p>Fortunately for Alice, her work had been busy enough for her to be distracted. Sheriff Keller had been working hard to track the drug trade that Cheryl and Veronica had mentioned to her on her first night in town. Until now they didn't have any leads on who was spreading the anti-famous Jingle Jangle through Riverdale.</p><p>Tom Keller had been catching her up on the progress of the case, when their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Before Alice could even answer, the person on the other side came walking in. Rudeness like that annoyed her instantly, a feeling that grew even more when she saw the man who had knocked.</p><p>It was Hiram Lodge. Looking at him for only one second was enough for Alice to grow frustrated only by his presence. She shared a look with Tom, who seemed to feel exactly the same way.</p><p>“Mayor Smith, a word please?” Hiram started out politely.</p><p>She wanted to send him away for interrupting an important conversation with the Sheriff, but decided that since she still had to win the hearts of the citizens of Riverdale, she could better use a more kind approach— even to a man like Hiram.</p><p>“Mr. Lodge... What can I do for you?” She folded her hands together and gave him a small smile.</p><p>“More than you can imagine, but let's start simple. How about dinner? Tomorrow night?” He stated confident, his eye brow perked up as he waited for her response.</p><p>“To discuss what, exactly?” Alice asked in return. As far as she was concerned, he wasn't involved in any of the town's business so far and she would pray he wouldn't get involved in this important case.</p><p>“Come on, Alice. You know what I mean. A date. My treat.” He shared his true intentions, almost making her snort out loud.</p><p>Even if he would be the last man on earth, she wouldn't go out with him. Besides, the last thing she was looking for was a relationship, especially since her possible friendship with FP had bled to death.</p><p>“Give me one good reason to agree on that.” She commented sassily, even more annoyed now that this unprofessional request is what he came to bother her for.</p><p>“Can't two single adults go out and have a little fun together?” Hiram commented back, still in the believe that one way or another she'd agree to his proposal. He was too cocky to accept any kind of rejection.</p><p>“I'll pass on that.” Alice said plainly as she leant back in her chair and send a sassy smile his way.</p><p>“Your loss. Believe me, one day you'll go out with me.” Hiram took a few steps backwards without losing his gaze on her and tried to playfully point his finger her way. She might not give in now, it wasn't going to take much longer, he believed.</p><p>“Please learn to take no for an answer. I won't repeat myself for the third time.” Alice said a little bit more stern this time.</p><p>At their first meeting he had been forcing himself onto her as well, even after she clearly stated she wasn't interested in staying the night at his house. She wasn't going to tell him to back off another time.</p><p>Hiram left out of the door and the second he was out of sight, Alice let out an exaggerated sigh. Her eyes immediately drifted off to Tom, who had a frown on his face as well.</p><p>“Who does this man think he is?” Alice scoffed, grabbing the file of the Jingle Jangle case in her hands again, to take another look.</p><p>“It won't be the first and the last time he'll come onto you. He's after your job after all. Be careful.” He warned her, as he knew perfectly well that Hiram always had a plan, for everything.</p><p>It seemed like FP wasn't the only one who didn't trust Hiram Lodge, which only confirmed for Alice that people had their reasons to feel this way.</p><p>“Thanks Tom, I will.” She smiled at him, thankful to see that he was on her side.</p><p>However, the thought of FP had involuntarily came into her mind after seeing Hiram. Their first encounter had flashed in front of her eyes, including the way he had scared Hiram away with one simple look. Thinking of it now, it had been impressive. She wished things were so easy for her, it would help her have one less problem.</p><p>She still hadn't heard from FP. He was probably mad at her for ever suggesting that their friendship was anything more than casually exchanging handwritten notes.</p><p>Alice didn't want to allow her heart to break by the thought of how the notes had meant a great deal to her, when it appeared to be so meaningless to him.</p><p>“You alright?” Tom asked worriedly, as he saw her doze off a little. It was clear that she wasn't in her office with her mind. Alice got snapped out of her spiraling thoughts by his voice.</p><p>“Yes, I am. Just a terrible night of sleep, that's all.” She brushed it off with a small smile. He seemed to buy it.</p><p>“I'll grab you a coffee.” He offered her politely, noticing that she needed it.</p><p>**</p><p>That same night, Mary had invited Alice over for dinner, so the two of them could get to know each other a little bit better. Alice was eternally grateful for that, as it seemed that Mary was her only friend at the moment.</p><p>She had made a delicious pasta carbonara meal, but Alice was still with her mind somewhere else. No matter how hard she wanted to listen to everything Mary was asking her, it was impossible not to think about the man who lived at the edge of Fox Forest.</p><p>“How are you enjoying Riverdale so far?” Mary asked her politely, curious to hear what her thoughts were on their little town.</p><p>It must be a difficult adjustment from a big city to a smaller town. But Alice hadn't even heard the question.</p><p>“Alice? Are you there?” Mary placed her hand on her arm, the warm touch waking her up again.</p><p>“Sorry, what?” Alice said a little bewildered as she came back down to earth.</p><p>Mary could've repeated her question, but by the way she had been deep into thoughts she figured that there was something more going on than just being tired from her first two months as mayor.</p><p>“Something wrong?” She asked softly, trying to give Alice an open door to share with her whatever was bothering her.</p><p>“I just dozed off for a moment... my apologies.” Alice smiled slightly and grabbed her fork more tightly into her hand to take another bite of the delicious meal.</p><p>The last thing she wanted was to bug someone as nice as Mary with something that she thought would be seen as silly.</p><p>“It's alright. So, how is Riverdale?” Mary asked once again, genuinely curious.</p><p>"Besides you and Sheriff Keller people are treating me as some kind of disease. Well the two of you, and one other person...” Alice looked down at her plate, noticing that she had barely eaten a thing.</p><p>Why was this situation with FP bothering her so much? They had only seen each other twice and besides telling her his name, he hadn't spoke a word to her. It shouldn't be a big deal, but it was all she could think of. Every single second that she was distracted, she saw his face.</p><p>Mary was frowning at her, asking her with a simple look what or who she was referring to. Alice hesitated for a second, but she also knew very well that there was no one else she could confide in.</p><p>Besides, she was very certain that Mary was very trustworthy. If she wouldn't share this with anyone, she was sure she was going to break down one of these days.</p><p>“When I first arrived here, Cheryl Blossom and Veronica Lodge told me about the man in the woods? <em>The man who never speaks?”</em> Alice started out carefully, trying to see by the change of Mary's face if she knew what she was talking about.</p><p>Mary placed her fork down. In a way, she was rendered speechless. That the two teenage girls had gossiped wasn't a surprise to her, but how could Alice have met FP? Was he the one she was talking about who was being nice to her?</p><p>“They told you about FP?” She asked a little confused. It had been a long time since someone had ever mentioned him to her.</p><p>“Do you know him?” Alice asked in her return, as she noticed that she had a soft expression on her face, not one of fear or disgust like she had seen in the diner the other night. Mary cleared her throat.</p><p>“I do, actually. It's a long story, but I check up on him every once in a while. We're friends. Or actually, he's family.” A soft smile spread over her face as she thought about him.</p><p>FP had always been more than a friend. She knew like no other that every once in a while he needed a little checking up. He might not want to have people around, seeing her every once in a while was something FP could handle. She would help him with anything in a heartbeat.  Mary knew that he wasn't the monster people thought he was. He was vulnerable, but not scary.</p><p>“So, you're not scared?” Alice asked her, her voice hopeful.</p><p>As for now she hadn't met anyone who had a different story about FP compared to what Cheryl and Veronica had told her. Not that she even dared to ask someone, but nobody around seemed to stick up for him. Maybe Mary would.</p><p>“FP might not talk a lot, but he won't hurt a fly. He just likes to be alone. Whatever people are saying about him isn't true, trust me.” She promised her with a kind smile on her face.</p><p>Mary hoped that Alice wouldn't be someone to judge him based on what she had heard, but according to the way she looked relieved, that wasn't the case.</p><p>“He fixed my tire when I stranded at the side of the woods when I was on my way to town. He basically scared Hiram Lodge away with one look." Alice smirked a little as she thought back of the memory. The more she bumped into the man, the more she found it very impressive what FP had done.</p><p>“Ever since that moment we kind of started to exchange handwritten notes, considering I don't think he has a mobile phone, but he suddenly stopped writing. Do you think I did something wrong?” She asked a little insecure, which was also a new feeling for her.</p><p>Alice had always been a confident woman (at least she believed she was), especially since she was in politics and lots of people didn't like her for that very reason anyway.</p><p>But with FP things were different. She really wanted him as a friend. Maybe Mary was the one that could provide her the answers she needed to not feel rejected by the first person she had been drawn to.</p><p>But Mary stayed silent. Not because she didn't want to answer Alice, but because she had to process what she had just heard. <em>FP was talking to someone?</em></p><p>Well, talking was a big word. He was writing her. Either way, this was the last thing she had expected. FP wasn't so keen on having any kind of contact with other people besides herself.</p><p>The last time she had seen him, he hadn't been doing so great. It had been before Alice had come into town, but that memory of him made it almost impossible to believe that he had actually written someone notes.</p><p>“Why are you looking at me like that?” Alice asked confused, almost a little scared, as Mary stayed silent for a bit longer than she had anticipated. She quickly got herself together to ease Alice's mind.</p><p>“Alice, I think you need to realize that the past two decades, FP didn't have that much human contact, besides me. He might be a little overwhelmed, that's all.” Mary tried to explain her carefully.</p><p>Truth was, even she had no idea what was going on in FP's head sometimes, especially not in a scenario like this one. However, this seemed like the most reasonable explanation for his behavior.</p><p>If what Alice was telling her was true, she could imagine that suddenly, it had become too much for him to process. She made herself a mental note to check up with him soon.</p><p>“If you say so...” Alice wasn't fully convinced, especially not when he could very well write her that. She'd back off, but this uncertainty was killing her.</p><p>“And about the people in town... they'll warm up to you, Alice. I am certain.” Mary assured her, which for now were exactly the words she needed to hear to feel the slightest bit better.</p><p>**</p><p>Alice really hoped she could have let go of FP not writing her back, but she just couldn't. After dinner with Mary she had given it another few days, making it almost a month since he had last replied to her. Every night, she got haunted by all the things that she wished she hadn't said, to be sure that FP wouldn't have pulled away from her.</p><p>She had hoped that the more time went by, the more she could let it go. Maybe this was just a dead end. But the longer it took, the more she grew frustrated.</p><p>Alice knew that it wasn't appropriate to stop by someone's house after they had ignored your requests to do so, but her anxiety had reached its breaking point. She wished she could think of how this might affect him, but she couldn't take the sleepless nights anymore.</p><p>Purposely ignoring someone when you know that they are asking themselves what is going on was an awful thing to do, no matter if he had an explanation. She deserved to know his reasons for suddenly stopping writing her.</p><p>She walked up the hill leading to his cabin, her heels getting dirty by the mud, and furiously knocked on his door. He hadn't even bothered to look through the curtain that was ajar, expecting it to be Mary since he would see her soon anyway.</p><p>But FP opened the door and had to blink twice when he saw Alice standing in front of him. He hadn't expect for her to have the guts to stop by. His heart started racing and his breath got stuck in his throat as her blue eyes pierced through his soul before she had even said a word.</p><p>“Did I say something wrong?” She cut immediately to the case.</p><p>FP couldn't handle this. Not right now. Maybe not ever. He wanted to be able to explain what was bothering him, but after not talking about anything he felt for the past two decades, he had no clue how to.</p><p>His hands trembled, and he was sure his heart was going to burst out of his chest. It was too much. So, instead of even trying, he made an attempt to close the door in her face. Before he could do so, Alice stuck her foot in between, successfully blocking it.</p><p>“Don't close the door. You can't just stop writing without explaining me why. I deserve to know that.” She stated firmly, her voice trembling slightly and betraying her nerves. Her eyes had glossed over, but she wasn't letting her tears win yet.</p><p>“Apparently I can.” FP growled lowly.</p><p>He wanted her gone. <em>Forever.</em> Before he'd get even more confused. In the end, it would be better for both of them. He wouldn't involve her in his miserable life, and he wouldn't risk getting hurt and not recovering from it.</p><p>If that would happen, it would end him for good. Not letting her into his house, into his heart, was his way of saving her. But she didn't understand. Alice let out a scoff and poked her tongue into her cheek to stop her tears from spilling.</p><p>“You know what, I actually thought I gained a friend. You don't even know half of how much I needed that since moving here was a complete hell. Can't believe how wrong I was. Friends don't do this to each other.” She pointed out, her voice cracking as she spoke.</p><p>How wrong she could have been about whatever their friendship had been to the both of them. Clearly, it had been one sided. She needed him as a friend, but it looked like he acted like he didn't need nobody.</p><p>“Leave me alone!” FP yelled loudly, the vein in his forehead bopping dangerously.</p><p>“It's better this way.” He said a little calmer as he averted his eyes from hers.</p><p>If he had a choice, she'd be his friend too. <em>But as soon as you only care the slightest bit for someone, losing them would totally wreck you.</em></p><p>“I don't believe you.” Alice said quietly, reading in his eyes that there was so much he wasn't saying. She wanted to be able to understand, but she couldn't, not if he didn't let her in.</p><p>“You don't know me, Alice.” FP pointed out, his voice now cracking too.</p><p>He wanted to cry, to explain her why he couldn't ever see her again. But no matter how hard he tried to find those words, it seemed to be impossible.</p><p>And though FP was aware of how he barely knew her, part of him felt like he had known her his whole life. A woman like her didn't deserve an awful friend like him, one that couldn't protect her, one that could never keep her safe.</p><p>“Clearly, I don't.” Alice scoffed and turned around to leave out of the door. If he didn't want to talk, she wasn't going to force him.</p><p>But as she slammed his front door behind her, the sound echoing in his mind, he realized that he had just lost someone who he had started to consider a friend, which was hurting him a thousand times more than he'd ever could admit.</p><p>And Alice? She had lost not only the battle against her tears, she knew that this was it. She had lost him too. Even when there were so many things she could tell herself of why it was good that this was the end, her heart kept telling her that it shouldn't have been.</p><p>**</p><p>The weeks after, Alice had felt incredibly guilty about invading his home and yelling at him. She had no right to stop by after it was perfectly clear that he didn't want her to visit again. Even if their friendship was over from now on, she didn't want to end it with a fight.</p><p>To make sure they would be on good terms no matter what, she had left a little present on his doorstep. It was something she had bought for him in an impulse, but it was the perfect way to make amends. All she hoped for was that it was enough for him to understand that she cared and that it had never been her intention to fight with him.</p><p>One morning, when FP opened his front door to walk around the house to his garden, he noticed a little package right next to his doormat. It was a tiny basket, filled with some plants and vegetable seeds. Even when he had a gut feeling who had been sending him this little present, he grabbed the card that was attached to it.</p><p>
  <b> <em>I'm sorry, FP. You've made yourself very clear. Wishing you all the best. Hopefully you'll get to grow some good vegetables out of the seeds I've send you. Take care of yourself.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>And it wasn't until he read her small but sweet note that he realized what he was really throwing away. If someone would send him an apology after he had been the one to yell at her first, she must have really cared, more than he ever thought she did.</p><p><em>He</em> had been the one to push <em>her</em> away, to suddenly ignore her and probably breaking her heart with that. But <em>she </em>wrote <em>him.</em> Maybe having her around wasn't as scary as he thought it'd be. The demons that were so hard to drown out, slowly became more quiet.</p><p>One thing was for sure— she was really messing with his head. No matter how hard his mind told him to run as fast as he could, his heart couldn't stop glowing because of her. His eyes glued to the note with her elegant handwriting and while staring at it, he knew in that very moment he wasn't ready to give that up just yet.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Gleaming, twinkling<br/>Eyes like sinking ships on waters<br/>So inviting, I almost jump in."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Elephants</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Pulled the car off the road to the lookout<br/>Could've followed my fears all the way down<br/>And maybe I don't quite know what to say<br/>But I'm here in your doorway"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Alice had send him the present for his garden, she figured that this time that would really be the end of it. Bringing him that gift, wasn't an underlying motive of her wanting to proceed their blossoming friendship, especially not after what had happened when she went to confront him. His signs had been clear.</p><p>She had tried to make amends, which had given her enough peace with the situation. Deep down a part of her had still hoped that it would have grown into a friendship, but since FP wasn't open to anything like that she decided to accept his wishes. Besides, she was getting closer to Mary now, maybe that was enough.</p><p>But when she walked into her office a few days later, she noticed a big bouquet of flowers in the middle of her desk. Her receptionist probably placed them there before she came in. Since she didn't know that many people in town that could possibly send her such a thoughtful gift, she assumed that it would have been either Mary or Tom, just to cheer her up. Or could it be...?</p><p>Alice walked over to the other side of the desk and noticed the small note in between the flowers-- one in a very specific color that she instantly recognized by now. Her name was written in FP's signature handwriting.</p><p>
  <b> <em>I'm so sorry for snapping at you. You were right. We're friends, Alice. I hope you can forgive me.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— FP</em> </b>
</p><p>Alice's eyes started to twinkle when she saw his sweet note. <em>They were friends.</em> Things were fine between them and she hoped it meant that she could still write him, if he wasn't ready for her to stop by.</p><p>She had no idea how soon he would change his mind again, but that he had taken the time to pick out such a beautiful collection of flowers and let it be delivered to her office meant more than anyone would understand. To others, it could look like an easy solution, but the flowers told her that he was thinking of her and genuinely felt sorry about what had gone down between them.</p><p>It didn't matter what would be happening today, nothing could ruin her perfect mood. Since she was so lost in thought she hadn't heard Sheriff Keller coming into her office, whom she had her first meeting with that day.</p><p>“Secret admirer?” Tom teased her, when he noticed her smiling at a note in her hand and the enormous bouquet in front of her.</p><p>“It's from a friend.” Alice grinned happily, as she placed the note aside and made some room for Tom to join her.</p><p>It was another morning of looking over the Jingle Jangle case. She had come to dread these meetings, not because she didn't like to be around Tom, but because every time they seemed to be having a lead, it turned out to be a dead end. However, today she felt like she could take on the whole world.</p><p>“Well, looks like they did good. It got you smiling.” He elbowed her a little playfully.</p><p>It didn't happen often that he had seen Alice this happy early in the morning. It was nice to see this side of her for a change.</p><p>“It definitely does.” She putted the vase a little bit more to the side of her desk, still wanting to have it close to look at it for as long as she could.</p><p>“Can I ask you a question about the Jingle Jangle case?” Tom got straight to the point, as he had a favor to ask her.</p><p>“Sure, hit me.” Alice turned into a full concentration mode, ready to start the day.</p><p>As mayor it was one of her most important jobs to help get the town as less criminalized as possible, which after just a little more than two months seemed to be a hard task. Still, she was anything but a quitter and she wouldn't rest before she'd find out.</p><p>“A little while ago, the same kind of pattern happened in Greendale. I contacted the Sheriff already, but the one that used to investigate this case has passed away. The current Sheriff in charge knows as much as I do from the files. The Mayor however had just been elected when it happened. Could you talk to her? She's not too fond of cops.”</p><p>Tom knew very well that normally a Sheriff didn't ask the mayor to be involved like this in any crime case, but as for now it seemed to be the only lead they had. And if the mayor wasn't willing to talk to him, his biggest chance was that she'd tell as much as she knew to Alice.</p><p>He assumed Alice would object to such request, but to her surprise she agreed instantly. She was definitely different compared to all the other mayors they ever had, in a very good way. He liked working with her and the feeling seemed to be mutual.</p><p>“Absolutely. Just send me your questions and I'll try my best.” Alice smiled politely, a feeling of confidence washing over her.</p><p>She wasn't sure if she felt that way because of the flowers or because she truly believed she could make a change in this case by talking to the mayor of Greendale.</p><p>One way to win the hearts of the people of Riverdale was to solve the mystery drug trade that had been bugging the town for four months now. Alice believed that solving the case could earn her the credit that she so desperately needed. If she could help Tom's search in anyway, she'd do that in a heartbeat.</p><p>**</p><p>
  <b> <em>Thank you so much for the flowers. They were so beautiful. I hope all is well with you. How are the vegetables doing?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>FP had been looking forward receiving another note of hers, hoping that his flowers were enough of a hint that he wanted to proceed where they had left off.</p><p>He had been so nervous to approach her, afraid that he had scared her away for good. He was aware that he wasn't the easiest one to be friends with, but if she was willing to give him a second chance he'd do that in a heartbeat.</p><p>
  <b> <em>The beets are growing like weed. Taste a lot better though. That was very kind of you. How is your work as mayor going?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— FP</em> </b>
</p><p>Whenever he asked about her work, she felt that at least one person besides Mary cared about how she felt in this relatively new role. It had been a lonely road but having him pay an interest in both her and her work made it a little bit more bearable.</p><p>After she had learned that he had voted for her and why, she felt even more driven than before to bring the change people hoped to see. But in order to do that, she needed to find out whoever was being the supplier of Jingle Jangle.</p><p>
  <b> <em>It's alright, people are warming up to me, I guess. I have an appointment with the mayor of Greendale in three days, to help Sheriff Keller find a clue. Hope it leads somewhere.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>FP was surprised to find out that she could be so open about a case that he expected she had to be discreet about. He hoped it meant that she trusted him, as he wasn't the usual go to for people. To be one, you actually had to make friends. Mary was family, but it looked like Alice was his very first friend in over almost two decades. And truth to be told, he was glad to have her.</p><p>**</p><p>No matter Alice's positive attitude when it came towards her conversation with the mayor of Greendale, the weather seemed to have other plans. Once again, Alice felt like somewhere up there was having it out for her.</p><p>It was deep into January by know and just as they had predicted the whole Sweetwater Triangle area was hit by an ice storm. It wasn't just cold outside, it was snowing like crazy and the wind on your cheeks felt like tiny little blades cutting your skin.</p><p>Alice had managed to get to Greendale without any harm, but that night on her way back she wasn't as lucky. The ice storm was only getting worse, making it impossible for her to see through her front window.</p><p>She was already sleepy from a long day and felt disappointed that her appointment with the mayor didn't bring what she had hoped for. Now it felt as if she was being punished for not getting a new lead.</p><p>She was driving at a snail's pace to keep moving forward, but her car wasn't agreeing with that idea. The engine started to sputter and before she knew it, it stopped with a loud grumble. Her lights went out and her wheels stopped rolling. She had stranded at the side of the road— <em>again.</em></p><p>“No, please tell me this is a joke.” She let out an exaggerated sigh and slammed her fist against her steering wheel, accidentally hitting the honk.</p><p>“Why for God's sake is the universe against me?” She said to herself, almost on the verge of crying.</p><p>Fortunately, she was able to look through her left window. If it wasn't for the fallen tree that she had noticed the first time she was here, she hadn't been able to recognize at exactly which place she was. She had stranded at the <em>exact</em> same spot she was on her way to Riverdale for the very first time.</p><p>Almost as if fate had brought her there, she was close to the path that was leading towards FP's cabin, one she remembered all too well. And even when she knew that he wasn't too fond of visitors, for now it meant that it was either freezing in her car or asking him for shelter.</p><p>Since she had no other option left, she tightened the scarf around her neck and readjusted her hood to make sure she was as good as protected before she'd walk up the hill.</p><p>When she finally took a step outside, the snow storm was immediately hitting her in her face, feeling like she was being cut by tiny little knives. For now she had to leave her car right there as calling road services wasn't an option either. They'd never reach her in a storm like this one.</p><p>Alice hesitated for a brief second before she knocked on his door, but since she couldn't return to either her car or her home, she knew that she needed to ask him for help.</p><p>Besides, they were friends now weren't they? And didn't friends help each other out in times of need? A hasty knock followed. It took longer for him to open, almost making her think that he wasn't going to open up at all. But then he did, and she met his confused brown eyes. He was dressed is nightclothes already.</p><p>“Hey, sorry to drop by so unexpectedly...” She smiled a little uncomfortable, her teeth clattering from the cold.</p><p>“Alice? What are you doing out in the middle of an ice storm?” He asked worried, still in utter confusion that she was standing in front of him covered in snow.</p><p>“My car gave in. Must be too freezy outside.” She explained, her cheeks only getting redder every second.</p><p>“It's alright, come in.” He quickly gestured for her to enter as he realized that she had been standing in the cold for way longer than necessary.</p><p>Alice pulled off her coat and hang it on the small handle on the rack, including her scarf and hood while FP had walked towards his tiny kitchen to prepare some tea for the both of them.</p><p>She sat down on the couch a little uncomfortable, her teeth still clattering from her few minutes in the snow. FP poured some hot water in two mugs and placed the tea bags in it before handing one of them over to her.</p><p>“Thank you.” Alice smiled gratefully and wrapped her hands around the hot mug. The steam immediately spread goosebump all over her body.</p><p>“I'll go check if I can fix your car.” He grabbed his own jacket that he tightened securely to prepare himself against the cold. Though he might have never gone to college, he knew an awful lot about both cards and motorcycles.</p><p>“Should I come with you?” She felt a bit uneasy that he was going out in this weather just for her while she was in his home.</p><p>On the other hand, FP looking at her car to get her on the road again was her only option of getting home tonight. She didn't know anything to fix a car that had shut down because of the cold.</p><p>“No, that's okay. Drink your tea to warm up a little.” He gave her a small smile and walked outside, the cold hitting him in his face immediately.</p><p>Alice had almost drank all her tea when FP finally came back, his hair covered in snow and his face a bright red color from the freezing temperature outside. He shook his head to get the snowflakes out of his dark locks and hung up his jacket again.</p><p>“Sorry, can't fix it right now. I think you should call road services tomorrow.” He felt a little guilty about not being able to help her out, especially since he had a feeling he would be able to get rid of the problem.</p><p>The last thing he wanted was to disappoint her again. However, the combination of the cold, snow and wind made it impossible to do anything at the moment.</p><p>“Thanks for trying.” Alice hadn't expected any other answer, but now her concern was that she probably wouldn't be able to get out before tomorrow.</p><p>FP walked over to his window and pulled his curtains open, revealing the glass covered in ice. He could barely see a thing.</p><p>“I'd say I could bring you home on my bike, but that's too much of a risk with how icy the roads are now... we could get seriously injured.” He shared his thoughts out loud.</p><p>It was the one other solution he could think off to get her home in this storm, but he was pretty certain that they'd get into an accident, no matter how slow he'd drive.</p><p>“Maybe I can walk home, it shouldn't be that far.” Alice placed her mug back on the little table and wanted to stand up, but FP held her back with a soft gesture of his hand. He turned away from the window to meet her eyes.</p><p>“That's dangerous. You can stay here, if that's okay with you.” If his cheeks weren't red from the cold, she could have seen him blushing.</p><p>Alice knew that this was her only option not to freeze to death tonight and she was more than grateful to have FP as a friend right now. She hadn't want to overstep by asking to stay here overnight, so she was glad that he was the one to propose this— meaning that he was fine with her being in his home.</p><p>“Thank you, FP.... I appreciate that.” She give him a sweet smile.</p><p>Another wave of goosebumps and shivers hit her, as if there was a cold breeze surrounding her body. He noticed immediately, even when she tried hard to hide the fact how cold she was. For a second he disappeared into his bedroom and came back with something for her to warm up to. He sat next to her on the couch, suddenly being very close to her.</p><p>“You're shivering...” FP said quietly and handed her his warm sweater. Alice accepted the sweet gesture and held it close to her body. She wasn't even sure how to thank him for being so welcoming.</p><p>“You can take a shower to warm up, if you want.” He gestured for the small door across another door that she assumed was his bedroom, as he just came out of there when he had grabbed her the sweater.</p><p>And though it had felt a little uncomfortable at first, the thought of having hot water run over her body right now to get rid of this icy feeling was very appealing to her. She was sure she would feel better after that.</p><p>“That sounds nice.” She thanked him with a warm smile before letting him show her where the bathroom was.</p><p>**</p><p>After she had come out of the shower, FP had jumped under it real quick as well. She noticed that he had laid folded sweatpants in the living room for her to put on so she wouldn't have to sleep in her jeans.</p><p>The cabin had always been very cold, but with an ice storm you must have been insane to sleep in shorts. The thick blanket next to it was probably for her to sleep under. The pillow was already on the couch.</p><p>She carefully spread the blanket on her temporary bed for that night, but was interrupted when FP came walking out of the bathroom dressed in his pyjama's and his hair still wet. He was dressed in a sweater too and warm sweatpants to survive the cold night.</p><p>“What are you doing?” He stopped in his tracks to see her standing at the couch.</p><p>“Sorry, can't I use this blanket?” She asked softly, afraid that she might have grabbed something that wasn't meant for her. But that wasn't what he was aiming at.</p><p>“You can take the bed. I'll take the couch.” He said sweetly, and walked her way to take the blanket out of her hands before she could object.</p><p>"FP, you really don't have to. I'm imposing enough as it is.” She felt her cheeks redden a little by the thought that he was sacrificing his own bed for her, when she was the one who was a guest this night—not the other way around.</p><p>“It wasn't a question. You had a long day. Take the bed.” He said kindly, a soft smile tugging on his lips.</p><p>Usually, he would have never proposed such a thing for someone he had just befriended. Well, actually— he never had any guests. Not even Mary stayed over.</p><p>“Thank you.” She said quietly, returning the same small smile he had given her.</p><p>Alice walked over to the back of the cabin and her handed landed on the doorknob of his bedroom, before she turned around more time. He had already crawled under the blanket and was rearranging his pillow for it to be comfortable.</p><p>“Goodnight.” She whispered, making him look up for a second before she left into the door of his bedroom and crawled under the warm sheets.</p><p>**</p><p>It was around two in the morning when Alice woke up, her mouth feeling extremely dry. She had almost forgotten where she was until she remembered that she was staying over at FP's cabin. She flicked on the little lamp on the nightstand and clamped her arms around her body to keep herself warm as she made her way out of the bedroom.</p><p>As soundless as possible she grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water for her to take it back to the bedroom. She was walking on her tip toes to stop the floor from cracking underneath her but even the tiniest squeak had woken him up.</p><p>“Alice?” His groggy voice said softly as he opened his eyes to look at her shadow.</p><p>“Sorry, did I wake you?” She asked him guilty, whilst she took a few steps into the direction of the couch.</p><p>“No, I was in and out of sleep.” He confessed tiredly. FP pushed himself up until he was sitting straight, his back resting against the couch. A soft sigh escaped his mouth.</p><p>“Do you want to switch? I'm alright with taking the couch.” She proposed, having a gut feeling that he was having a terrible nights sleep because the couch was horrible to rest on.</p><p>“It's not that. I always have trouble sleeping.” He explained her softly. Sure, the bed was more comfortable but he could survive staying the night on his couch for once.</p><p>Alice hesitated for a second but then sat next to him. She shivered slightly as the cold hit her without the warm sheets around her body.</p><p>FP almost reacted on impulse when he grabbed the blanket that he had around himself and carefully placed it around her legs as well, so that they could both enjoy the warmth of the soft and cosy fabric. She tried to catch his eyes, but he wasn't looking at her, as if he could sense that she was trying to read him.</p><p>“Can I ask you a question?” She asked carefully, her hands still holding the glass of water which for now was her luck so she had something to hold.</p><p>“One.” He answered her.</p><p>Alice knew that what she wanted to know was risky, especially when he had freaked out when she had even touched it. But it had awoken a curiosity in her and if she really wanted to know— now as the time.</p><p>“What do the Elephant trinkets mean to you?” Alice asked quietly, her eyes still fixated on his face in the hope that he would look back at her.</p><p>FP's head now snapped sideways, being caught off guard a little. This wasn't the question he had expected. He thought maybe it would be about the cabin, or maybe even about the stories that people told about him around town.</p><p>But she asked about the Elephants. His first impulse was to tell her that it was none of her business, but even in the dark he could see a genuine spark in her eyes. They were friends now and if he took that seriously he needed to open up at least a little bit.</p><p>“Elephants were the favorite animal of my best friend, Fred. The one you grabbed... that one used to be his.” FP swallowed and casted his eyes down at his hands to avoid looking right at her. The tears were swimming in his soft brown orbs, ready to fall at any second.</p><p>“Fred? You mean Mary's husband?” Alice asked him, suddenly connecting the dots between the two stories. Mary had told him that she knew FP and that in a way they were family. Was that because FP had known Fred very well?</p><p>“You've met Mary?” He asked her in return, a little confused on how the two women could have run into each other. Or was Mary paying close attention to him and had she approached Alice because of that?</p><p>“I live next doors to her.” Alice explained with a small smile and absentmindely scooted over a little closer to FP. She was still shivering.</p><p>“What happened to him?” She asked him quiet and carefully.</p><p>Even when he had only given her one question, she could feel that having him open and vulnerable was a rare occasion. If she wanted to know more about him, she needed to ask now.</p><p>Alice knew she could be overstepping but she was sure that he would tell her if she was coming too closeS FP was silent for a little bit as he swallowed away his tears. His hands started to tremble a little as the memories of his best friend flashed in front of his eyes.</p><p>“He passed away... we were in the army. Life hasn't been the same without him.” FP said sadly and softly sniffed. It had been a while since he had said those words out loud and he could feel his heart being clenched together by years of grief.</p><p>“I'm sorry.” Alice placed her hand on his arm and squeezed a little to try to give him any kind of comfort that he was okay with. She wished she could have hug him, but that would feel like overstepping even more than she was already doing.</p><p>“It's alright.” He smiled a little at her, somehow noticing that he had been okay with telling her this part of him.</p><p>“Now I get one question.” He decided to turn the conversation around as he barely knew anything about her either.</p><p>“Why did you become mayor of this town?” FP asked softly, no hint of judgement in his voice.</p><p>Now it was Alice's time to swallow. FP had lots that he hadn't told her yet, but the same went for Alice. The story was long, complicated and extremely painful, so she decided to give him the shortest answer as possible to still reward him for opening up. He deserved for her to do the same.</p><p>“My husband and I... we got a divorce. One that included a lot of pain. I needed a fresh start at a place where nobody knew me.” She explained quietly, averting her gaze from him before he could read in her eyes that there was so much more behind her story. She wasn't ready to talk about that— with nobody.</p><p>But FP wasn't going to push it. He knew like no other how it was to walk around with something that was hurting you every single day. As long as she didn't want to tell him, he wouldn't be asking her. Slowly, his hand reached for her knee and he started to softly rub her skin through the fabric of the blanket and her borrowed sweatpants.</p><p>“We should get some sleep.” He said softly, knowing that it was time for the both of them to head back to bed before they would get too emotional.</p><p>**</p><p>The following morning, the ice storm had calmed down. The roads were still covered in a layer of ice, but as long as anyone would drive slowly, they would get to their destination. As soon as Alice had woken up she had called road services and an hour later they were standing where she had last left her car, now fully fixed. She was ready to get home again.</p><p>“Thank you for last night, FP.” Alice turned around to her friend and gave him a loving smile.</p><p>However, what she didn't know was that after their little conversation at two in the morning, FP hadn't closed an eye. <em>She was getting too close.</em></p><p>Three months ago he hadn't even a clue of who she was and now she had already been sleeping in his bed. He had even spoken about Fred towards her, which he hadn't done in years. Not to a stranger. Not to anyone else but Mary.</p><p>But now she had suddenly waltzed into his life and it was just too much for him to handle. He thought he was okay with it, but maybe he would never be able to handle someone coming close to his heart.</p><p>“Why do you keep coming back?” He suddenly stated, a frown forming on his forehead. Alice was caught off guard by his sudden attack. But before she could even defend herself, he spoke again. </p><p>“Is it pity because people are scared of me? Or because I am broken? Or because you are trying to prove something to yourself?” He raised his voice a little and let out a low scoff as he shook his head.</p><p>It was the only explanation of why someone like her would spend time with him. But he couldn't play along with this act, not when she became more and more the first one he thought of when he woke up and the last one he thought about before falling asleep. He needed to protect himself before he'd fall into a web that he couldn't crawl out of.</p><p>“Where is this coming from?” Alice asked confused, the hurt in her voice showing. FP stayed silent but just looked into her eyes, trying his hardest to find any kind of insincerity but failing.</p><p>“Do you honestly believe those are my reasons to be your friend?” Alice added, her voice cracking. FP wanted to say something, but he was lost for words.</p><p>Right now, he had no idea what her intentions were as he just couldn't believe that there wasn't a hidden motive behind befriending the town's most feared and lonely person.</p><p>He really wished he could believe that all her attempts to be friends with him were genuine, but maybe it was all an act to find out more about him, to declare him crazy, to hurt him right when he would open up to her.</p><p>“When are you going to realize people really care for you, FP?” Alice scoffed, her tears ready to spill.</p><p>She really believed that especially after last night, they really were friends, that things were fine. But she had thought wrong. Again, he was pushing her away even harder than before.</p><p>“But I am not up for games. So until you figure out if you can handle this, I'm going to leave you alone, as you clearly prefer.” Alice spat his way, his eyes softening a little as he realized that maybe there was no hidden motive behind her kindness.</p><p>She walked her way towards the drivers seat and stepped into her car without looking back. If he wanted for this friendship to succeed, he was going to have to apologize for assuming the worst of her, when all she had done was trying to be considerate to his wishes.</p><p>But FP didn't say something. He just stood there, watching her car leave out of sight, until it was just a tiny spot. He fucked up. <em>Again.</em> Out of frustration he kicked the rock on his left side, effectively hurting his own foot. But he didn't care. All he needed was time to think.</p><p>He ran up the hill towards his cabin and walked around to the back as he reached for the keys of his bike. There was only one way for him to clear his mind—go for a ride.</p><p>FP adjusted his helmet and pulled on his gloves before traveling down the road. Did she really care for him? Was she thinking about him in the same way he was thinking about her? Or was he confusing a friendship with something more? Did he even know how it felt to have feelings for someone?</p><p>The more his thoughts spiraled, the more he sped up. He could even feel the cold wind through his jacket on his body, but he couldn't care about that now. The tingling pain it created was exactly what he needed. He sped up again, racing along the trees that were nothing more than a blur.</p><p>There was just one thing he forgot— <em>the ice on the roads. </em>The harder he went, the more his wheels started to slip until they totally lost their grip. FP wanted to slow down, but the friction he created when pulling on his brakes made his motorbike spin and swayed him over to the other side of the road.</p><p>His body was caught by one of the trees, followed by his bike that ended right in front of his feet. He didn't even get the chance to yell it out in pain, as the confrontation with the tree had knocked him unconscious.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Don't treat me like<br/>Some situation that needs to be handled<br/>I'm fine with my spite<br/>And my tears, and my beers and my candles<br/>I can feel you smoothing me over"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. This Is Me Trying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"I've been having a hard time adjusting<br/>I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting,<br/>I didn't know if you'd care if I came back<br/>I have a lot of regrets about that"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There came a shiny ray of light through his eyelids as FP tried to open his eyes, but immediately shut them again when it was too bright. It felt like he was trying to look into the sun, making it impossible to awake when that was all he wanted. Where was he? And what had happened?</p><p>His head was pounding and it felt like he had been sleeping for weeks, begging for him to get fall back into his slumber. However, his willpower to find out where he had gone to was stronger than all the signals telling him to give into the pain. There was a vague silhouette next to him that couldn't quite register yet. Did he see his friend's red locks?</p><p>“Hey... it's me.” A voice whispered softly. FP could feel a hand coming to rest in his hair, softly stroking his head. The motion calmed him down. He knew who the sound belonged to.</p><p>“Mary...” He let out groggily, his eyes still closed. Talking was hurting his throat more than he had anticipated.</p><p>“Sssh. It's okay. You just woke up.” She immediately shushed him with her sweet angelic voice and grabbed the glass of water with the straw in it so he could have something to drink. It would make talking a little easier.</p><p>He gratefully accepted the water, as she helped him gulp it down. It was almost like a wonder liquid that made him feel better instantly. FP had no idea which day it was, but it felt like he hadn't drank anything for weeks.</p><p>“What happened?” He asked her quietly, after putting away the glass again.</p><p>With his elbows he pushed himself up a little to be at eye level with her. The movement made him winch in pain, as he hadn't anticipated that he would be hurting so much. He looked at his hand and saw how it was wrapped up in a bandage.</p><p>“You had an accident with your bike. Someone found you on the side of the road to Greendale.” Mary explained carefully, knowing that she had to see if he could remind anything, otherwise it could be an indication of memory loss.</p><p>Fortunately, FP didn't look confused. Instead, there appeared a deep shade of red on his cheeks, which gave him a little color again. It seemed like he could remember the events of last week, as he purposely averted his gaze from Mary, afraid to get a lecture. He knew very well that he had taken a very risky decision.</p><p>“Riding on your motorbike just after an ice storm wasn't the smartest decision you made this year.” She tried to joke a little to lighten the mood and to show him that she wasn't mad.</p><p>After FP moved into the cabin, he had made a promise to Mary that he would try to take care of himself and not to anything stupid— <em>like going out for a ride after an ice storm.</em></p><p>She partly blamed herself for not keeping a closer look on him, especially since she had come to learn that he was developing something that was getting close to a friendship with her new neighbor. She could have known that he would get overwhelmed and do something risky.</p><p>“I needed some air.” He said quietly, still feeling ashamed that he had reacted on an impulse.</p><p>Whenever life became too much for him to handle on his own, he tended to not think through his actions, exactly like had happened when he jumped on his bike. All he could see in that very moment was how badly he needed an escape.</p><p>But how could you ever escape from yourself and the demons that kept on ruining everything he had for as long as he had known? He had even managed to scare away the one other person in the world that had told him that she cared, by letting the loud voices in his head get the best of him.</p><p>Sometimes, he heard himself talking and wanted nothing more than to stop it, but then it felt like he was floating outside of his body, listening to what he said and not being able to do anything about it.</p><p>“Did you find what you were looking for?” Mary said meaningful, trying to him that she had a feeling of what his reasons were for feeling like this.</p><p>It was about more than getting air. He was confused and thought he could fix that by running away from the real issue. FP stayed silent. Not because he didn't want to talk to her, but because he wasn't sure if he had found anything.</p><p>What was he even looking for? Freedom? Being alone forever? An answer to why Alice had come into his life? All his thoughts about Alice seemed to be even more confusing than they had been before.</p><p>But he knew he was lucky that he made it out alive. His whole body was aching with bruises but fortunately he hadn't broken any bones. It could have ended way worse. He could've been with Fred now. Maybe he did have a guardian angel that protected him from leaving the earth before it was his time.</p><p>Though, FP had felt for years that he didn't belong and had no idea what his purpose was, but every time he thought it was his time to go, something stronger than himself kept him here.</p><p>He turned his head sideways when something on the small stand next to him caught his eye. The small eggshell colored cards with the flower in the corner. They were from Alice.</p><p>His heart almost pounded out of his chest, as he saw his name in her delicate handwriting. Why would she write again? He had yelled at her, he had sent her away. Was he even worth reaching out to?</p><p>“Someone has been sending you cards.” Mary smiled a little as she had followed his eyes. FP immediately started to blush, afraid that she might know everything about his growing friendship with Alice.</p><p>It was no secret, but he felt so confused and insecure about whatever was happening between them that he wasn't even sure he could describe it in words to his closest friend. Mary knew everything about him, but he was scared to say out loud what was happening between him and Alice, making it all way too real.</p><p>“Don't worry, I haven't looked. However, I do have an idea who sent those.” She winked at her friend and placed her hand on his arm to squeeze softly at a place where he wasn't patched up.</p><p>Mary would never invade his privacy, but she had walked into Alice a couple of times at the hospital. She had seen the worry and sadness in her eyes when Alice had told her what had happened between them that morning. When she had told her story, all the puzzle pieces fitted together for Mary. It hadn't just been someone who was scared for her friend, it was way more than that.</p><p>“I'll give her a call that you're up.” She let go of his arm and made her way out of his room, leaving FP speechless. He really wished he could talk to Alice, even when he had no idea what to tell her.</p><p>When Mary left out of sight, he pushed himself up enough to grab the five notes she had written him to read them in peace. Maybe she was incredibly mad at him. He wouldn't even blame her, he would hate his own guts too if he were in her shoes.</p><p>He remembered yelling at her and accusing her of not being sincere with him, when he had no reason to believe her intentions weren't real. However, it was hard to really believe that a woman like Alice would really care for him when he couldn't even care about himself.</p><p>
  <b> <em>I'm sorry. It's my fault you're here. Get better soon. I miss talking to you.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>You were frowning in your sleep today. I think you were having a nightmare. It's hard seeing you like this.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>The doctor said you were doing better. I can't see it, but I think I need to trust them. You can wake up any day now.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>I think I saw you smiling. Maybe it was a dream this time. I ran into Mary today, she has been giving me moments to talk to you, but I realized you're not much of a talker.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>I wish you could write me back. I'm sorry, FP. I am sorry if this friendship is too much for you.</em> </b>
</p><p>Involuntarily, he felt tears falling down from his cheeks to his chin before he had even registered that his eyes had glossed over. His shoulders were stuck in little aftershocks as her words became blurry for his eyes.</p><p>He really didn't want to lose her, not when she made him feel things that he was sure he never could. But as for now he hadn't found a way to be around her without being afraid to lose her and fall down the rabbit hole again.</p><p>**</p><p>Mary dialed Alice's phone number and had expected for it to go to voicemail, since it was at the middle of a work day. But to her surprise she answered the phone almost immediately, as if she could sense that she was bringing good news.</p><p>“Alice? It's Mary.” She said kindly.</p><p>At the other side of the line, Alice immediately perked up. They had been having close contact this week and she had prayed that one of these days FP would wake up.</p><p>“Mary! Is there any news about FP?” She asked hopefully, feeling the anxiety flow through her veins.</p><p>Worst case scenario, he could have been falling into a coma, which had been a risk ever since he had been brought into the hospital. It had been scary seeing him lay in that hospital bed, as if it could all be over in one single heartbeat. Alice wasn't religious, but she had prayed that he would be fine.</p><p>“He woke up today. The doctors are checking up on him now.” Mary smiled in relief.</p><p>She knew how much Alice had been praying for his recovery. Though she hadn't asked her yet, she had seen in both their eyes that something special was blossoming.</p><p>“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that.” At the other side, Alice relaxed more into her chair and let a smile curl up to her lips. A weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she realized that maybe someone out there had heard her prayers.</p><p>“I think I do.” Mary said softly, referring to the notes she had seen her bring.</p><p>It was none of her business, but seeing that FP was opening up and discovering parts of himself after living a lonely life for the past eighteen years was something she was very happy about. It could make him see things in a new, different light.</p><p>“Could you go visit the cabin to grab some of his clothes? There is a spare key in the porcelain elephant next to the bench, in front of the window.” She asked her kindly, immediately explaining how she could get in. Normally Mary would get it herself but this way she could give Alice an opportunity to visit FP.</p><p>“I will. Can I see him? Does he want to see me?” She asked insecurely, afraid that after their little argument their friendship was ruined for good.</p><p>His words had been clear, and it wasn't the first time he had told her to stay away. Maybe she should really believe it this time, no matter how badly she wanted to be there for him.</p><p>“I think he does.” Mary assured her, as the spark of hope in his eyes when he had seen her notes had told her enough.</p><p>**</p><p>That afternoon, Alice had made her way towards the cabin with her car and parked it at the side of the road before walking up the short hill. She smiled when she got the cabin in sight, her heart pounding with excitement about seeing FP today. What was going to happen between them was still a mystery, but at least they would get a chance to talk it out.</p><p>But then Alice suddenly stopped in her tracks, as she noticed two familiar faces walking around the cabin. One raven haired girl with a camera around her neck and the redheaded girl with a flashlight in her hand. It were Veronica Lodge and Cheryl Blossom.</p><p>“What the hell are you doing here?” Alice said sternly, making the girl freeze as they heard the voice from behind them. They slowly turned around on their heels, their cheeks flushing a deep shade of red.</p><p>“Are you trying to snoop in here?” Alice spat out and crossed her arms with a disapproving look on her face.</p><p>“Madam Mayor...” Cheryl put on her most genuine smile, her head already spinning with a thousand excuses to get out of this situation.</p><p>“Stop acting innocent, Miss Blossom.” Alice cut her off immediately, knowing this kind of behavior perfectly well.</p><p>There was nothing wrong with a little teenage mischief, but what in God's name were these two doing at FP's home? How did they even know he lived here?</p><p>“If Sheriff Keller doesn't do his job, then we have to, don't we?” Veronica stated sassily as she was a little less afraid of getting into an argument with Alice.</p><p>She knew her father would back her up if this got out. The Lodges had always been untouchable and though she wasn't always happy to carry the family name, this time it would definitely work in her advantage.</p><p>“You believe that FP has to do something with the drug trade?” Alice asked confused as she now connected the dots of what the girls were trying to do— they were looking for proof to get FP behind bars.</p><p>“Why would you be here if you didn't also believe that?” Cheryl shot back as she saw an opportunity to find out what the mayor was doing at the house of the man they all thought had gone mad.</p><p>Alice swallowed. She couldn't tell them the real reason was here, especially not when they were known for spreading gossip. Quickly, she reminded herself that she was the adult here and that she didn't owe them any explanation of what she was doing and why.</p><p>“You girls should be glad I am not calling Keller to arrest you for an attempt to break and enter.” She warned them sternly.</p><p>It worked immediately. Even with Hiram as a father, a crime record wouldn't look good on her college applications. The Lodge name was powerful, but not so powerful that it made her stand above the law.</p><p>And for Cheryl? She and her family were at a breaking point and an arrest wouldn't make things easier. The faces of the girls fell and they shared a look of concern, knowing that they were defeated.</p><p>“Go home. If I ever see you playing detective here again I won't hesitate to call the Sheriff.” Alice gestured for them to leave.</p><p>They wouldn't be told twice and quickly ran from the hill back to Cheryl's car to return to the heart of the town. Alice could finally breath out when the two girls were out of sight. Yet, there another thing to worry about.</p><p>**</p><p>Alice slowly entered the hospital room, her body shivering with nerves. She wasn't sure what she was going to tell him, but she hoped that FP was willing to listen to her. She'd listen to all he needed to get off his chest, too.</p><p>Not necessarily because she forgave him for yelling, or because he hadn't hurt her, but because somehow she could sense that FP carried more with him than she could grasp right now. As long as she would try to be understanding, maybe she could find out what made him lash out.</p><p>“Hey...” She said quietly, as she entered.</p><p>Both her voice and the squeak of the door caught his attention. FP opened his eyes and saw the beautiful blonde woman slowly walking towards the side of his bed.</p><p>Before she spoke, looked at his face and the cuts and bruises that she could see through the hairs of his beard. But it wasn't just the injury or the bandages that made her tear up, it was the way he looked at her. He was trying to tell her something, but she couldn't figure out what it was.</p><p>“I brought some of your flannels...” She held up the clothes in her hand and placed them on one of the chairs.</p><p>“Thank you.” FP said quietly, his heart racing in his chest.</p><p><em>She came.</em> She stopped by, because she cared, didn't she? Was this his second, or maybe even third chance to tell her how sorry he was?</p><p>“Alice...” He opened his mouth to say something, but Alice immediately shushed him. They had to talk, but it didn't have to be right now. One look at him was enough for her to see how serious his accident had been and how lucky he was to even be alive right now.</p><p>“You don't need to say anything. You need to rest.” She smiled softly and sat down on the chair next to the bed to be at his eye level.</p><p>But FP wanted to talk. He couldn't sleep knowing that he had fucked up. Not again, not anymore. Having this nearly death experience had made him question so much, but some things had suddenly became incredibly clear. If you had people around you who protected you, who listened to you, who cared, you need to keep them at any cost.</p><p>“Our friendship isn't too much. I'm sorry.” He croaked out, his voice noticeable cracking.</p><p>The tears stung in his eyes as he looked directly at her, wanting nothing more than to try to put into words what had happened and why he was so confused all the time.</p><p>Alice's eyes were so soft and innocent, that he couldn't help it but believe that every look she had given him before had come right out of her heart. He still wasn't sure she was real, or that he deserved for her to come back again, but he wanted to return how open and understanding she had been with him.</p><p>“It feels like everyone forgot I even existed for so long... and I liked it that way. Having someone around is new for me. It's scary.” His lips quivered a little, but he managed to keep his emotions under control.</p><p>“I know I have Mary, but this is... different. This is new.” He said a little shyly, afraid that she might think that he was crazy for even feeling this way about making a friend.</p><p>It wasn't a big deal for most people, but for a man who had been declared crazy by the town he used to call home, someone who saw him into another light truly felt too good to be true.</p><p>“I'm not going anywhere. I promise you.” Alice smiled softly and slowly let her hand reach for his. </p><p>She was afraid to take the first step, especially when boundaries were so important for FP. He noticed and looked down at how her pinky was reaching for his.</p><p>He took the risk and slowly let his fingers intertwine with hers, creating a soft smile on his face. The warmth of her palm made his whole body glow. He had forgotten how good it could feel to let someone in.</p><p>“I need to tell you something, but don't freak out, okay?” Alice started out carefully, knowing that she had to tell them about what she had seen today.</p><p>FP nodded a little slowly, a frown forming on his face. Did something bad happen? Alice took a breath and decided to rip the band-aid right off, especially when she saw the scared look on his face.</p><p>“Cheryl Blossom and Veronica Lodge were snooping around your house. They think you've got something to do with Jingle Jangle.” She squeezed his hand comfortingly and stroked her thumb over his.</p><p>FP sighed and turned his eyes away from her before looking back. For so long he had hoped that it would end with just rumors, that it would be nothing more than a myth.</p><p>But now they were really trying to involve him something that he had no connection to whatsoever and it was breaking his heart more than he'd care to admit.</p><p>“No wonder, those girls hate me. Just like everyone else in town.” He said sadly, his eyes filling with tears and his lips quivering.</p><p>FP had come to live with the fact that people made up stories about him, but having the fact thrown into your face wasn't easy to deal with.</p><p>“Do you believe them?” He asked her insecurely, afraid that she might think he would be involved in any kind of crime.</p><p>“No, I don't. I really don't.” She assured him firmly.</p><p>The thought hadn't even popped up in her head and when Cheryl and Veronica showed their true intentions of snooping around she had found the idea ridiculous.</p><p>“Thank you for believing in me.” FP said quietly, as he could read in her eyes that she meant it when she said that she didn't see him as a suspect. He didn't have that many people who would believe him on his word.</p><p>“Why is it that they are so up your back?” Alice dared to ask, knowing that this was a sensitive question. But to get to know him better, she needed to know what the story behind the man was who's hand she was still holding.</p><p>FP swallowed. He trusted Alice, he really did. But sharing his story had been something he hadn't done... ever. Mary was the only one who knew, but he never had to explain it to her. She had seen it up close.</p><p>Alice looked at him with her calming ocean blue orbs and he knew that she wouldn't judge him. He wanted to let her in, he wanted for them to be friends and so he worked up the courage to tell her his story.</p><p>“After I came back from the army... I felt paralyzed. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't keep a job...” FP started, his eyes glossing over by the memory.</p><p>He had never been that miserable. Life had just been too much to handle. Facing that the world kept on turning when it felt like he had lost everything seemed unfair. As if Fred hadn't meant anything.</p><p>FP had always believed that some people had a more unlucky faith who had to fight harder every single day without any reason, but he would have never expected for the universe to take away someone as wonderful as his best buddy.</p><p>“Mary offered for me to come live with her, but I refused. I was scared to be around people after losing my best friend.” FP softly continued.</p><p>Not moving in with Mary was one of his biggest regrets. He had let her down, when he could have helped her raising her boy. She needed him as much as he needed her and yet he had left her alone. But she had never blamed him. Mary had always stuck by his side.</p><p>“That's when I came back to the cabin, a place Fred and I used to hang around. It had been abandoned for years. I decided to live there, away from everyone. Away from myself, even.” He sniffed to make sure he wouldn't burst out in tears. He felt Alice squeeze his hand even tighter.</p><p>The cabin had been his only place of shelter, until he decided to never leave. Nobody had ever claimed the little house and so it was his only option to survive and stay on his own.</p><p>For a long time he would have expected to get kicked out, for reality to return. But it never happened. Nobody gave him a second look, which was both his biggest blessing and his worst curse.</p><p>With a part of his savings he had renovated the little wooden palace to a home that somebody could live in. Back in his teen years he and Fred had always joked about moving in together in that place so their whole home could be a man cave. In a way, he had still fulfilled that dream, but he was all alone.</p><p>
  <em>“Can't we go live together? Without any women?” FP sighed as he let himself fall down on his best friend's bed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You are such a drama queen, tomorrow you'll be all about girls again, Jones.” Fred playfully slapped his chest before handing him over his drink.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, this time I've really had it. You're the only one I can stand being around for more than one day.” FP took a sip and tried to relax a little bit.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It would be cool to live together. But where?” Fred turned to his friend and raised his eye-brow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That old dump, in the woods? I think a forester used to live there. We could make that into something.” FP smirked, recalling a memory of the two walking around in Fox Forest and finding the abandoned place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Our very own man cave. That's awesome, man.” Fred grinned as he thought about all they could do with a place like that. It was every sixteen year old's dream.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“If we ever have the time, let's rebuilt it, okay?” He held his hand out for FP to shake, sealing the deal right there and then. It was a promise neither of them could keep, something they weren't aware of in that very moment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You've got it, Freddie boy.” FP had shook his hand with the happiest grin on his face, having no idea that years after he'd come to live in the place that was supposed to be their place after losing himself and the world around him because of the loss of his best friend.</em>
</p><p>“Nobody besides Mary really paid attention. But slowly I became the man in the woods, the one that kids were afraid of.” FP said quietly, his cheeks blushing as he came to this part of the story.</p><p>He wasn't even sure how the rumor had started, but the more people spotted a man around the woods who basically stayed in his cabin all day, the stories kind of began to write themselves.</p><p>He had never done anything to prove people wrong. The more they were afraid of him, the more he would be left alone. Maybe he had even started to believe the stories.</p><p>“I think Hiram is the one who brought that story to life again by telling it to his daughter Veronica.” FP concluded, as the story about him suddenly was way more alive than it had ever been.</p><p>It wasn't a crazy story kids told each other on a spooky night anymore, things were getting personal. Ever since high school the Lodge man had something against him, so he wouldn't even be surprised if that was the case. Was this all part of a rivalry that should have ended years ago?</p><p>“I'm so sorry, FP. You didn't deserve any of that.” Alice said quietly, not sure what else to say to him after he had opened up in a way he hadn't done before.</p><p>She wasn't sure what to do with all that he told her, except that her feeling how much hurt he was carrying with him turned out to be true. Her heart broke for him and she wished she could take it all away.</p><p>“What if I do?” He croaked out.</p><p>For years he had believed that this was his punishment for not protecting Fred enough, for being the reason that his best friend wasn't next to him anymore.</p><p>If the universe could have been heartless enough to take Fred away, maybe it wouldn't even hesitate twice to make the one that had promised to protect him suffer for not keeping his promise.</p><p>“Hey, don't talk about yourself like that, okay?” Alice reached for his cheek and wiped away a fallen tear as she felt the tears sting in her own eyes. She needed to stay strong for him, even if her heart was aching.</p><p>“People are going to see how much good you have in your heart, FP. I promise you.” Her hand came to rest on his cheek and softly stroke his stubble as she looked deep into his eyes. This was a promise she wasn't going to break.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Oh, I can't<br/>Stop you putting roots in my dreamland<br/>My house of stone, your ivy grows<br/>And now I'm covered in you"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Thunder on a Thursday</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"And when I felt like I was an old cardigan<br/>Under someone's bed<br/>You put me on and said I was your favorite"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On a  Thursday morning, it was drizzling just slightly. The sky seemed to prepare for the big forecasted thunderstorm that was about to reach Riverdale around midnight. The dark clouds almost looked like a warning as they were hanging over town, but as always people were too busy paying attention to anything dangerous that might be waiting for them.</p><p>The same went for Alice, who was on her weekly morning run through Pickens' park to clear her mind. Even when she wasn't a big fan of working out, with everything around her changing so fast it was the perfect way to literally and figuratively take a breath.</p><p>She was so lost in her thoughts that she barely even registered that slowly, the rain was covering her. That was the danger of those tiny raindrops— <em>suddenly they had caught you.</em></p><p>However, the more she realized that her outfit was getting soaking wet (and because she didn't want to catch a cold because of it), she was about to turn around to start the second part of her run back home.</p><p>Before she could even do so, her eyes fell on a familiar redhead sitting on the bench at her right side. She was sobbing quietly, a sight of a vulnerable girl that Alice hadn't expected to see.</p><p>“Cheryl? Are you alright?” Alice asked concerned, making the young girl snap her head up. Her eyes grew wide when she saw who it was.</p><p>“Mayor Smith...” She breathed out in a faint whisper, her hands shaking. It was only eight in the morning, the girl hadn't expected to run into someone she knew.</p><p>“I'm fine.” Cheryl immediately wiped away her tears and pursed her lips. It was a failed attempt to hide the deep sadness in her eyes.</p><p>She had always been taught to keep her emotions to herself and she had no idea how to deal with the fact that the woman she hadn't even dared to give a friendly smile, was the one asking her if she was okay.</p><p>“You're sitting on a park bench crying at the middle of the day. I don't believe you're fine.” Alice walked her way and slowly sat down on the bench next to her. She expected for the girl to get up and walk away but to her surprise she didn't.</p><p>“Why would you care?” She scoffed a little and sniffed, her eyes stained red from all the crying.</p><p>Cheryl couldn't even look her into her eyes, afraid that she would break down once more. She was a Blossom, and Blossoms didn't show any weakness.</p><p>“It looks like you need someone to talk to. What is bothering you? You can tell me. No judgement.” Alice said softly, trying to approach her with kindness.</p><p>They might have started off on the wrong foot, but a teenage girl sitting here crying her eyes out early in the morning was very worrisome. She'd never let her sit there without proposing a listening ear.</p><p>Cheryl was a little taken aback by the sweet tone in Alice's voice, considering she had never treated her with the kindness Alice was willing to offer. She was terrified to talk to someone, but as for right now she was the only one around.</p><p>When Cheryl dared to look up, she was trying to find an ulterior motive written on Alice's face, but she couldn't find it. Her eyes sparked with something genuine, which is why she slowly started to open up.</p><p>“I have been in a fight with my mother.” Cheryl confessed silently, as she wrapped her hands in the sleeves of her sweater.</p><p>The drizzly rain had made her cold and she hadn't noticed the goosebumps on her skin until after her little bubble was burst.</p><p>“Must have been a serious one.” Alice said quietly, feeling that she needed a little bit more time to truly share what was on her mind.</p><p>She wasn't going to force her to tell everything, that she had to on her own terms. If she had to, she would wait all day to give Cheryl that chance.</p><p>“She doesn't agree with me being with the person I love.” The teenage girl mumbled quietly, afraid to look Alice in her eyes.</p><p>She had never told someone how much her mother despised her relationship, besides to her partner. Living a secret was slowly tearing her apart from the inside and she wasn't sure how long she could keep up her act without hurting both herself and the one person she loved more than anyone in the universe.</p><p>“Is something wrong with me?” Cheryl looked up at Alice, her lips quivering and tears streaming down her cheeks.</p><p>It broke Alice's heart into a million little pieces. A girl her age shouldn't have those thoughts, definitely not because of her mother. Only eighteen years old, and so ultimately broken already.</p><p>“For loving someone? No, Cheryl. Nothing is wrong with you.” Alice said sweetly, offering her a smile as she placed her hand on the girl's arm. Her touch was warm, comforting. Cheryl couldn't remember the last time someone's intentions felt so pure, so honest.</p><p>“Why is your Mom so against that? Is she worried about your well-being?” She asked, giving the girl an opportunity to share more of the story if she wanted to.</p><p>Cheryl's heart shattered again, making it impossible to win the fight against her tears. Alice was afraid she had overstepped completely with asking further, as she felt her own tears getting stuck in her throat.</p><p>But she hadn't. It had awakened something deep inside of Cheryl, realizing that maybe her mother didn't care even for the slightest bit. Her sobs became louder as she stared at an invisible spot in front of her, barely registering that Alice was still sitting next to her.</p><p>“She thinks I am sick. She wants to forbid me from ever seeing her again.” She sobbed, but then froze immediately as she heard those words leaving her mouth. Her whole body shivered as she turned her head to Alice with big scared eyes.</p><p>“Well, now you know.” Cheryl said quietly, wiping her tears with her sleeves. Her hands trembled as her anxiety took completely control over her body.</p><p>“Are you going to tell everyone?” She asked, her voice cracking with fear. What if it would come out that she was dating a girl? She barely knew Alice, what if she shared the same thoughts as her mother?</p><p>“I'm not going to tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me.” Alice promised sweetly and offered her hand for the girl to take.</p><p>Cheryl hesitated, but then took it. She believed no other adult had ever consoled her, or even cared about what she felt. Not her father, not her mother, not anyone in her family. But yet, this woman who she had been so mean to was offering to soothe her, completely selflessly.</p><p>“Cheryl, honey... I hope you understand that everyone has secrets or stories they'd rather not share with the world. Including me. Be careful with what you say about other people, okay? They might get hurt the way you are hurting right now.” Alice said carefully, squeezing the hand of the girl that had gripped her tightly as if she was afraid to let go.</p><p>Alice's words suddenly hit Cheryl right into her soul, as she realized how many rumors she had brought into the world herself, including the ones about Alice and FP. The pain she had felt ever since she was a little girl had always overshadowed every part of her life and made her forget that her very own words could create a lot of damage.</p><p>That wasn't fair and she didn't want to be the reason anyone else would even shed one tear. It was just so much easier to talk about everyone else in the hope that they'd never find out her own secret.</p><p>“You're right. I'm sorry.” Cheryl apologized sincerely with rosy red cheeks.</p><p>She had to start treating others the way she wanted to be treated. Today could be a new start. If Alice could be kind after the way she had treated her, then she believed she could be kinder to the world too.</p><p>“Who's the lucky girl?” Alice smiled softly, knowing that she got through to her. She seemed to have calmed down a bit now she had shared her secret with someone.</p><p>Cheryl stayed silent. She wasn't sure whether she had the guts to share that with someone, as their relationship wasn't out in the open yet. Was it her place to tell that, without asking her significant other first?</p><p>“Nevermind, none of my business.” Alice immediately corrected herself with a soft smile and slowly let go of Cheryl's hands. She had already told her so much, she didn't have to share anything more.</p><p>Alice made an attempt to stand up from the bench to give Cheryl some space, but before she could even do so the girl took her hand back, telling her with one gesture not to go just yet.</p><p>She wanted to be honest. She wanted one person to know about her secret with the full confidence that if she had to, she would take it with her to her grave. It was time to trust someone, and somehow Cheryl could feel that someone was supposed to be Alice.</p><p>“Veronica. Veronica is my... girlfriend.” Cheryl said, stuttering slightly, a small smile on her face.</p><p>A warm glow spread through her body now she could finally say those very words out loud. It was the first time she had ever heard herself saying it, but she couldn't help but feel incredibly proud to have such an amazing girl by her side. She was in love, and she didn't want to hide it any longer.</p><p>“You make a beautiful pair.” Alice cupped the girl's cheeks and gave her a sweet wink. She had sensed that something had been going on between the girls, as they seemed to have a connection that was deeper than just being co-owners of a small-town diner.</p><p>“If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me. Okay?” She looked right into her brown eyes to make sure she'd understand that it was a promise.</p><p>“Okay.” Cheryl nodded and gave her a genuine smile.</p><p>She realized that she really had misjudged the woman next to her and that she had a warm personality that made her believe in the good of people again.</p><p>Alice stood up to continue her run home, so she could jump under the shower and head for work not long after.</p><p>“Miss Smith?” Cheryl called after her, making her turn around once more.</p><p>“Thank you.” She said softly. Alice gave her an assuring nod, telling her that she'd do it again in a heartbeat.</p><p>**</p><p>At the end of the afternoon Alice made her way to the cabin again, as FP had come home from the  hospital yesterday morning. He had to rest as much as possible, but luckily there wasn't any permanent damage.</p><p>After their talk when he had woken up, something had shifted in their friendship. He had opened up, he had dared to be vulnerable. She could feel that he was starting to trust her. She softly knocked on his door before letting herself in.</p><p>FP was cleaning some of his paint brushes in the sink and looked up when he saw the blonde woman walking in. She kept lingering at the threshold, afraid to step a little too close. After all, he still wasn't used to be around people and she didn't want to misread their newfound friendship as invitation to barge in whenever she pleased. </p><p>“Hey... I thought I should stop by to see how you are doing.” She said softly. When he smiled sweetly she dared to step closer to him.</p><p>“I appreciate that. Thank you.” He dried his hand on the towel and poured both of them a cup of tea from the hot water he had been boiling before she had stopped by.</p><p>It was a cold day, with the dark clouds still lingering over the town, a perfect opportunity to sit by the fireplace with a hot cup of tea.</p><p>“So, how are you feeling?” She asked him as they sat down on his couch. He had scratches on his face and she knew that his whole body was bruised.</p><p>“Sore, but nothing I haven't dealt with before. It's nothing compared to the wounds I had in the army.” He shrugged a little.</p><p>It was hurting, but he had been through worse. This would heal in a couple of weeks, unlike the other injuries he had gotten before. However, most of his scars were on the inside and still felt like a painful open wound. A few bruises on his body didn't scare him.</p><p>“Don't say that. You're still allowed to feel hurt by this. You hit the road pretty hard.” Alice reminded him softly as she had come to learn that it was a habit of his to act like his pain wasn't important.</p><p>Her eyes drifted towards his hand, which was still wrapped in the same bandage he had gotten at the hospital, no matter the advice to put on a new one every few hours.</p><p>“Your bandage is drenched. Let me help you.” She gestured for the one on his hand to tell him what she was referring too, pointing out that he had been bleeding. It looked like one of his stitches had ripped.</p><p>“It's fine. I'll change it tonight.” He wanted to brush it off, as someone caring for him was so new, that it was still feeling a little uncomfortable.</p><p>But Alice wasn't going to listen. His wounds needed to be cleaned, or they would get infected. She walked over to the bag of wound care on his dinner table that he had gotten in the hospital and searched for the disinfect alcohol and a clean bandage. FP wanted to protest, but she looked at him with such soft eyes that he felt his throat tighten.</p><p>She placed his hand open in her palm and carefully undid the filthy bandage. Her delicate touch made him shiver. FP looked up at her with his innocent and broken brown eyes as she was being so gentle with him. It almost made him tear up. She gave him a warm smile.</p><p>“This is going to sting.” Alice warned him softly, before dapping the clean cotton cloth on the wound on his hand.</p><p>He hissed through his teeth because of the alcohol killing anything that could possibly create an infection. It was a painful reminder that he should have cleaned this wound way sooner. As carefully as possible she wrapped his hand in a new bandage. His lips tugged in a faint smile. She had such a caring heart, it was rare to have someone around who was like this with him.</p><p>“All cleaned up.” She smiled and placed his hand back in his lap.</p><p>“Thank you. That feels better.” He was a little stubborn sometimes, but her taking such gentle care of his wounds was definitely making him feel seen.</p><p>If it was up to him he wouldn't even be cleaning his wounds as often as the doctors told him to, mostly because the years of self destruction had taught him not to care for himself. He deserved the pain, he had always believed. But if the universe would send someone like Alice his way, maybe it was trying to tell him that it was time to change his beliefs.</p><p>“Did you hear anything about the Jingle Jangle case? Am I allowed to ask that?” He asked her curiously, as it was her biggest task as mayor right now.</p><p>“Still nothing. Sheriff Keller is trying to find the tracks of the dealers, though. Hopefully that leads somewhere. It looks like there is more than one.” Alice summed up the progress, even when it was so little. He could see that she was having trouble with not going as fast as she wanted.</p><p>“I'm sure you'll find them.” He assured her sweetly.</p><p>If there was one who had confidence in her, it was FP. He had felt that way from the start. Though he couldn't really help her get there, he was willing to offer her a listening ear the way she had been doing for him ever since she met him.</p><p>“How are you? Are you okay?” She smiled and turned the conversation around, wanting to know how he was feeling after his big accident.</p><p>It became a tactic that she had perfected the last two years. If anyone knew how to easily turn a conversation around to avoid talking about her own pain, her own struggles, then it was Alice.</p><p>“Honestly, a lot better now you're here.” He confessed with a slight blush on his cheeks.</p><p>It wasn't easy for him to admit, but the more he was around her the more he felt comfortable to be honest. FP wasn't even sure that it was a choice, somehow it just happened. As if she had a magical effect on him that he could in no way resist. Every time she was there, he felt his heart glow, which was still such a new and unfamiliar feeling.</p><p>Alice smiled up at him, his words touching her. She wasn't ready to say this out loud, but after feeling unloved for so long, hearing someone say that they wanted to have you around meant more than she could possibly explain. Maybe even more so because it came from someone who was known for shutting out the whole world.</p><p>“Were you painting when I came in?” She gestured to the canvas in the corner of the cabin.</p><p>Ever since she had found out that he was a painter, she had been intrigued. It was easy to sense that it was a sensitive subject for him, but Alice was sure that as long she showed him her genuine interest he'd learn to be proud of his work.</p><p>“Yeah, kinda.” He smiled a little. It was his way of processing everything that had happened the past few decades, which was more than he could comprehend.</p><p>She stood up to look at his work, and he watched her for a little while. FP expected to be scared to let anyone look at his art, but somehow it made him happy that she wanted to see what he made. It was another way of showing vulnerability, but less direct.</p><p>Seeing her watch his work with full admiration in her eyes lead to the return of a  thought that had been on his mind ever since the first time he had seen her at his home. Now, he felt brave enough to ask her.</p><p>“Alice?” He called her name, making her look up.</p><p>“Would it be okay if I paint you sometime?” He asked her softly, his cheeks blushing slightly.</p><p>“You want to paint me?” She asked, surprised, but flattered. He instantly misunderstood the tone in her voice and thought that she found it ridiculous.</p><p>“Nevermind, it was a stupid idea.” He said immediately, averting his gaze from her. He felt like a complete idiot for even proposing such a thing.</p><p>But he had taken the wrong conclusion. She had never expected for him to ask her something so sweet and so personal. The man close to her was so talented, she couldn't believe that he was inspired by someone like her. She felt so ordinary, like nobody special, how could she ever be an inspiration?</p><p>“I'd love that. I feel honored that somebody as talented as you would want to use me for their art.” She said sweetly, a smile tugging on her lips. Her eyes fell on a little chair next to her, that she took place on and turned back to meet his eyes.</p><p>“Do you need to do anything?” She asked, ready to do what he needed for him to get inspired.</p><p>“Right now? You'd be okay if I paint you now?” FP asked a little bewildered, not expecting that she would be okay if they'd start immediately. Honestly, he was a little overwhelmed that he got the chance to involve her in his art.</p><p>“I have nowhere to be.” Alice shrugged her shoulders and giggled slightly, making him laugh as well. She really was one of a kind. If she wanted to do this, he'd gladly take up on that offer.</p><p>“You can sit over there. Turn a little bit to the left.” He gestured for the armchair on his right side, close to the fireplace.</p><p>He was more of an experimental artist, but he loved the warm colors around her. It was a challenge to paint her in a way that he felt like he did her justice while using his own personal style. Besides painting Fred, he had never used another person in his work.</p><p>After an hour of sitting in the same position and watching him, Alice was growing a little impatient. However, the sight of him looking so concentrated as he painted was really cute to her, especially the way he stuck out his tongue if he wasn't sure of a certain color or when he looked at her intensely, almost not noticing that he was staring at her this much.</p><p>“Are you done yet?” She asked him quietly to not pull him out of his concentration.</p><p>“Patience.” He mumbled, striking his brush over the canvas.</p><p>“Can I take a sneak peek?"”Alice said hopeful, her eyes twinkling. FP had to laugh, he really liked how enthusiastic she was and did realize that she had been sitting in the same position for a long time.</p><p>“Not until I am done.” He warned her playfully. She sighed, but let out a chuckle after to let him know she was joking.</p><p>Another twenty minutes later, FP had a feeling that he was as good as done. He wasn't feeling really confident about his work, but when he had such a beautiful model it was hard to do the art justice. She was already art herself, something that he didn't want to change a thing about.</p><p>“Okay... you can look. It's anything but perfect, but I tried.” He said a little hesitating as he took a step away from his work.</p><p>Alice got up from her chair and walked his way until she stood right in front of the canvas. She felt her breath hitch in her throat as soon as the colors met her eyes. It was even more beautiful than she could ever dream of. Even though he didn't work with details, she could see that he used her as an inspiration. Without a doubt, this was her. She could feel it.</p><p>The blonde woman in the painting was surrounded by the fire all around her, but her face wasn't scared. She was strong. <em>Fearless</em>. Almost as if he looked right through her, he had painted her in a way that touched her soul. She wished she was that woman, but instead it was just an appearance.</p><p>“FP... this is so beautiful. I can't believe this is... this is me.” She whispered, her fingers reaching for the painting but not quite touching it.</p><p>“I just painted what I saw.” FP blushed, afraid at first that she hated it.</p><p>Alice turned around on her heel and suddenly she came to learn how close he was. Her eyes had glossed over, by his beautiful work of art and how he saw her as this strong and fearless woman, when she felt like anything but that. His forehead almost touched hers and she was sure she could hear his heart beating in his chest.</p><p>His eyes flickered to her lips, making his cheeks blush for even thinking about kissing her. But he didn't have to be ashamed, because Alice felt exactly the same.</p><p>She was thinking about reaching for his face to softly caress his bottom lip, but she couldn't forget that he wasn't just any man. This was FP Jones. Her heart was racing harder than she ever thought she had felt around someone. How could this man that she had met not long ago, already know her so well already?</p><p>Her hands slowly reached for his chest as she leant in a little to see if he would do the same. Alice knew that he felt the tension around them, by the way she could see his hands trembled just slightly. She didn't want to cross his boundaries, not when they were doing so well. FP's breath hitched as their foreheads rested against each other. He could feel her breath on his skin. <em>He wanted to kiss her so badly.</em></p><p>It was the first time in his life where he didn't let his fear win. FP had never been so scared to kiss someone, but somehow he could feel that she was worth all the risk in the world. Alice was special, and he wanted to find out why that was. When their lips brushed against each other, he felt that it was right. He didn't have to be scared, not with her.</p><p>Her soft pillow like lips melted together with his in a sweet but passionate filled kiss. His hands came to rest on her waist as he pulled her closer, while they didn't want to let go of each other's touch.</p><p>FP hadn't kissed someone in so long, that he was almost afraid he was doing it wrong. But with her, everything felt so natural, as if his heart was telling him exactly what to do. Alice felt butterflies being released in her whole body as he was kissing her with so much tenderness, a feeling that she had never experienced before. It was thrilling, exciting, as if two young souls were having their very first kiss. In a way, that was exactly what it was.</p><p>“I'm sorry.” He whispered, after pulling away to catch his breath.</p><p>His forehead came to rest against hers and though he felt like he needed to give her space to run away if she wanted to, his hands wouldn't leave her waist. His thumb softly stroke up and down her sides.</p><p>“What for?” She whispered back a little confused. Did he regret kissing her? Was it all too much?</p><p>“I don't know...” He answered with a little hesitation.</p><p>It was as if he had to feel sorry for kissing her. She deserved someone kissing her way better than he. <em>Anyone but himself.</em></p><p>It was hard to understand why an angel like Alice would ever want to share an intimate moment with him, as if he was anything special. He didn't believe he was worthy to be kissed by her with so much care and tenderness after all he had done wrong in his life.</p><p>“FP, are you alright?” She asked him softly, her hands slowly reaching for his face to eventually cup his cheeks with a gentle touch. Her thumbs were absentmindedly stroking the delicate skin of his face.</p><p>“You're confusing me. I keep thinking about you and it's terrifying.” FP shook his head, his thoughts running through his mind so fast, that he could barely register them.</p><p>He wished to understand why he couldn't stop her from wandering through his mind, why his heart skipped a beat every time he looked at her or why she didn't treat him like the monster he thought he was.</p><p>Alice smiled slightly. She felt exactly the same. Throughout the decades, she had suffered enough pain for her to have really believed herself when she said that she never wanted to be with someone again, that she was okay on her own. After all, she didn't need someone, did she? She could make it by herself.</p><p>But when she had met FP, she had realized that it wasn't about needing someone. It was about choosing to need someone. Again, she leant in to connect their lips in a soft kiss.</p><p>“It's terrifying for me, too.” Alice whispered when she pulled back, her thumbs stroking his rough stubble.</p><p>FP gave her a small smile, as he found comfort in the idea that he wasn't the only one scared of what was happening between them. It gave him the confidence that they could find it out together.</p><p>“I think I need to go. It's getting dark outside.” Alice said quietly as she glared at the window that was only half covered by his curtain, noticing that she had to go now before she had to pass through the woods in the dark.</p><p>She didn't want to leave, but she could easily misread that this was anything more to him than a moment of weakness.</p><p>“Please, stay. Stay for me.” He squeezed her waist and looked at her with his sparkling brown eyes, begging her not to leave just yet.</p><p>**</p><p>“Would it be alright if I borrow your sweater again?” Alice stood in front of his closet and turned around to face him.</p><p>FP had crawled under the sheets already, watching her in awe. Even in a plain grey t-shirt that he had given her and oversized sweatpants, she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.</p><p>He smiled and gave her a small nod. He wouldn't mind at all. She turned back to the closet and grabbed the same one he had given her when she had stayed when the ice storm had stranded her close to his house.</p><p>“It smells like you.” She smiled cutely as she pulled it over her head.</p><p>He scooted over a little bit to make room for her and watched as he climbed into the bed next to him, a hint of blush on her cheeks. FP laid down into the pillows and made sure the both of them were securely wrapped in the sheets, as the cabin had always been very cold, no matter what season.</p><p>“I don't think I can remember the last time someone was here... next to me.” FP chuckled shyly, as his hand found a place on her waist.</p><p>It felt natural to touch her, to want her close. It was still so new and yet, wanting to be with her like this seemed to be something he had no control over. This new bond made him both feel so terribly frightened and suspiciously calm at the same time.</p><p>“You're warm, it's comforting.” He said softly, his eyes glistering as he looked right into her deep blue orbs.</p><p>Alice smiled sweetly, her cheeks blushing too. It had been a long time since she had slept next to someone as well. Though, this already felt so comfortable, as if they had been doing this for years.</p><p>“Thank you. Thank you for staying.” He whispered as he swallowed the lump in his throat.</p><p>FP wasn't sure why it was that he was suddenly so emotional, but he wanted her to know how grateful he was for every small part of herself that she was willing to give him.</p><p>“Thank you for letting me.” She whispered back as she cuddled up closer to him, his hands in a reflex wrapping around her tightly, as he held her as close as he possibly could. For the first time in years, he felt happy to have let someone in.</p><p>**</p><p>They had forecasted that it would rain tonight and though for some time it seemed like the storm had passed, around three in the morning the clouds finally broke in a flood. They created an ear deafening sound in the cabin as the millions of raindrops came down on the roof and windows. A loud thunder echoed through the woods, which sounded even more frightening than it usually did. It would take hours before the storm would calm down.</p><p>It was the loud sound of the thunder that woke Alice up, but that wasn't the alone thing that had caught her senses attention. She felt someone moving next to her. When the sound became louder and her vision more clear, she turned around to find FP in a state of panic she had never seen before.</p><p>Tears were streaming down his face and his whole body trembled uncontrollably. His eyes were looking all around the room, as if he didn't quite know where he was... as if he was somewhere else.</p><p>“FP? Hey, what is going on?” She immediately pushed herself up and grabbed his hand to find a way to remind her that she was right there with him.</p><p>His body was shocking and his cheeks were soaked with tears, unable to hear a word Alice said. He was gasping for breath as if he didn't get enough oxygen. Alice felt a shiver going over her spine. She had no idea what was happening to him. Was this a panic attack? And if so, why did he have one?</p><p>“FP, look at me. I'm here. It's okay.” She placed her hands on his cheek and spoke to him with a soft and soothing voice as she turned his face to hers.</p><p>All she could do was help him get back to reality was by making him realize where he was, hoping that her touch and presence would help him snap out of it.</p><p>When he met her eyes, he slowly got back to Earth. He was home, and she was next to him folding her arms around his body to hold him. <em>Alice was there.</em></p><p>But now matter how hard he tried to ground himself, he couldn't fight the flashes in front of his eyes. He couldn't drag himself out of this state. He desperately held onto her as he started to hick-up, his vision blurry from the tears still streaming down his eyes like waterfalls.</p><p>Alice quickly pulled him into her chest, her arms tightly wrapped around him as she shushed him. Her hand came to rest in his hair and combed through the dark locks in an attempt to calm him down.</p><p>“Hear my heartbeat? Focus on that.” She instructed him as his head laid on her chest.</p><p>Alice could hear his breathing pattern getting more calmly and his tight grip on her loosened up just a tad. But then another echo of thunder broke loose, making his eyes shot up in fear again. Only this time, she was holding him, her touch grounding FP enough not to fall back into the state of utter panic.</p><p>“Please, follow my voice. You're safe. You're with me. I'm Alice, remember? I'm with you. I've got you.” Alice whispered as sweetly as she could, her own heart racing in her chest as she looked at the broken man in her arms.</p><p>She placed one hand on his face to make him look up at her from her chest, her impulses telling her that as long as she could show him that he was at home and that she was next to him that nothing bad could happen.</p><p>The more he focused on her voice, the more he got aware of his surroundings. <em>He was back</em>. His vision became clear and the silhouette in front of him now turned into the woman who had fallen asleep into his arms a couple of hours ago.</p><p>FP tried to breathe in and out to get himself under control as the tears had stopped falling from his eyes. Her fingers stroking both his stubble and his hair made him feel better, up to the point that he closed his eyes from exhaustion. He had never felt this embarrassed. How stupid could he be of not thinking about this before? He never wanted for her to see him like this, <em>ever.</em></p><p>“It's all going to be fine.” She whispered softly, her hands still stroking his hair and face in the same calming pattern.</p><p>“Sorry.” He groaned quietly as he pushed himself up a little to rest against the headboard of the bed. Alice shifted a little as well, as close as possible to FP.</p><p>“Are you alright?” She asked worried, her eyes sparkling with concern. FP wasn't sure how to answer that question. He wasn't alright, but alright enough for her to stop worrying, he thought.</p><p>Instead of explaining what he was feeling he grabbed both her hands in his own and looked at how he intertwined their fingers. She had been able to calm him down, which was a gift not many people had. Truthfully, he had never expected anyone to do what she had done.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Alice asked him, to give him an opening to share with her what had happened, if he wanted to. If not, she wouldn't ask any questions.</p><p>“It was the thunder. That's it.” FP said quietly, wanting to leave it there. Nobody knew about this and he honestly liked it that way. It wasn't as if anyone could help him, he believed.</p><p>“It looked like more than that.” She said carefully, her hand absentmindedly reaching for his hair to comb her fingers through it.</p><p>FP blushed. She was right. It was way more than that. But how could he explain what had happened without making her want to run away from him? He was broken, he was damaged beyond repair, how could she not see that?</p><p>“Does this happen often?” Alice dared to ask.</p><p>FP exhaled deeply as he prepared himself to share with her why there were moments that het got stuck in these kind of attacks. After what she had just seen, he felt like he owed her that explanation. It must have been scary. His body was still trembling a little, not just from the anxiety in his body but because he was terrified to be honest.</p><p>“They do. The sound of it... it triggers something.” He started quietly, again looking up at her.</p><p>“It's like I am suddenly back there.” His eyes glossed over, flashes of his best friend in his very last minutes passing by. The blood, Fred trying to look at him to tell him that it was okay to let go... everything.</p><p>“Back where?” She asked him softly, not sure what he was referring to.</p><p>“On the battlefield.” He croaked out, losing the fight against his tears.</p><p>After all these years, he still couldn't think, let alone talk, about the moment he had lost the one that had always stuck by his side, the one who always had his back. Bringing the memory of his very last second wrecked his soul all over again.</p><p>“I held him Alice, I held him when he passed.” He sobbed, and involuntarily leant back onto her shoulder as she instantly wrapped her arms around him, her own tears stuck in her throat.</p><p>She knew that FP carried a lot of hurt with him, but she had never known that he had witnessed the passing of his dearest friend so vividly. Alice didn't want to cry, not when she felt the responsibility to be there for him, no matter what.</p><p>“I had no idea. I'm so sorry FP.” She said quietly, a tear escaping her eyes as she held the sobbing body of the man that had come to mean so much more to her than just a friend.</p><p>“Can you hold me? Please?” He sniffed quietly, afraid to look her in the eyes when he asked her those words. FP needed her. He needed to know that he wasn't alone anymore, that not all was lost.</p><p>“I'll always hold you.” She promised him, before pressing a kiss on his hairline and laying down with him, wrapped in the warm sheets. She wouldn't let go. Not for a second.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"And I was catching my breath<br/>Staring out an open window<br/>Catching my death<br/>And I couldn't be sure<br/>I had a feeling so peculiar<br/>That this pain would be for<br/>Evermore."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Dancing Is A Dangerous Game</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Salt air, and the rust on your door<br/>I never needed anything more<br/>Whispers of 'Are you sure?'<br/>Never have I ever before."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been some time since Mary had stopped by to see how her friend was doing. Every once in a while the two had dinner together at FP's place to catch up and make sure that, under the current circumstances, the other was doing fine.</p><p>FP knew that this was also a way for Mary to make sure he wasn't falling further into the rabbit hole that had taken him eighteen years ago. It had seemed impossible to get him out of there, but all she could do was hold his hand to make sure she got him as soon as he found the strength within to free himself. However, to her surprise she didn't see the permanent frown on his face that she saw every single time. She noticed something else— a smile.</p><p>“What has gotten into you? I haven't seen you so smiley in a long time.” Mary eyed him playfully after swallowing a bite of her dinner. FP's cheeks flushed immediately, feeling like he had spilled a secret.</p><p>“It's Alice, isn't it?” She brought in carefully.</p><p>After the accident she had stopped by in the hospital and couldn't have helped but to see the hopeful spark in his eyes when he had noticed Alice's notes.</p><p>She could read him like a book and from that moment on she knew that it hadn't been an innocent look. There was something different about their bond. It brought him to life in a way nothing else had the past two decades. She had tied, but maybe Alice was the key.</p><p>“I'm afraid it is.” FP sighed in defeat as he put his fork down. Ever since they had kissed, FP had felt an awful lot of guilt towards her. But most of all, he felt so deeply embarrassed of what she had to witness that particular night.</p><p>“Why are you afraid? Don't you think that's a good thing?” Mary grew confused, as she had expected for him to be happy about his growing bond with Alice. How could that in any way be something bad?</p><p>“I'm not so sure, Mary. It's hard to understand what I am feeling.” FP shook his head confused.</p><p>After the night she spent at his home he thought things would become clear, but the closer she came the less he could put into words what he felt around her. It should be easy, shouldn't it? Then why was it so hard to comprehend what his heart was telling him?</p><p>“You're afraid because someone is getting close to the part you've tried to keep hidden for so long.” Mary said softly, as she placed her hand on his arm to give him a little comfort.</p><p>FP swallowed. She was right. Maybe that was the scary part. He wasn't even sure he was able to feel something for someone this way and yet Alice was the living proof that the part of him that he thought was dead, was still very much alive.</p><p>“It was fine that way. Less.... confusing.” He said quietly, as he pricked with his fork into his food, but not eating it anymore. His appetite was gone.</p><p>“FP, did you consider that you might be falling for her?” Mary tried to catch his eyes and when he snapped his head up to look at her, she could see a spark of fear. He really was scared to be in love with Alice.</p><p>“What if I am? What do I do then?” He breathed out deeply and averted his gaze from hers again, growing afraid that even Mary would think that he was completely insane for being so afraid.</p><p>“Open your heart. You might be surprised of what you find.” She advised him with a sweet smile. </p><p>Even when she didn't know Alice that well, FP had been her friend ever since she could remember. Every slight change on his face, every twitch of his eye, she could somehow understand. She knew how much this relationship could do for FP, but before that could happen he needed to be open to the possibilities.</p><p>“It's not simple like that Mary...” FP sputtered, his anxiety only growing the longer they talked about it.</p><p>“People like me... people like me don't get that. It's just the way it is.” He shrugged sadly. Why would the universe send him an angel like Alice? He hadn't done anything to deserve that. The opposite actually.</p><p>He had been fine on his own for almost two decades. No emotional attachment to anyone, to anything. Even his bond with Mary had sometimes scared him, afraid of what he'd do if he'd lose the only person who had ever cared about him after Fred passed. He couldn't bare anything more, he thought. But now Alice was in his life, and somehow he was both afraid to have her around and to lose her at the same time.</p><p>“When are you going to stop self sabotaging yourself?” Mary said a little bit more directly.</p><p>Sometimes, the soft way didn't work with FP. He needed for his eyes to be opened, instead of trying to find reasons for himself why he shouldn't be allowed to be happy. Mary knew very well that she couldn't get rid of the deeply rooted guilt FP felt towards Fred, but she wasn't going to let himself ruin every chance of happiness because of it. She noticed the sad twinkle in his eyes and grabbed both his hands in hers.</p><p>“Look at me, how do you feel around her?” She asked softly, a small smile curling on her lips. His eyes told her enough, but she needed for him to say it out loud so he could hear his own words.</p><p>FP swallowed once more. He hadn't even dared to think about that, not in such a direct and open way. He was too afraid of the answer, because his heart had been screaming exactly what he felt. It made all the more frightening. However, if he wanted to grow and find out why Alice was confusing him, he needed to talk about it.</p><p>“I love how gentle, soft and kind she is with me. I don't think I've ever experienced that before. It's so different. So... terrifying.”  Involuntarily he started to smile, barely noticing it himself. Even the thought of her, of her laugh, of her beautiful eyes, of her touch could make his day.</p><p>“Let it happen, FP. She might need you as much as you need her.” Mary said quietly, knowing very well that FP wasn't the only ones with scars. Alice had them too and it looked like he had no idea what their bond could mean to her.</p><p>**</p><p>FP had let Mary's words linger in his mind. He was scared to take the leap, but the longer he didn't talk to Alice, the sadder he became. It didn't matter how afraid he was, not seeing her anymore didn't seem like an option. Whether he liked it or not, he had grown attached to her presence. He decided to invite her again the way it had all started: with notes.</p><p>
  <b> <em>When am I seeing you again?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— FP</em> </b>
</p><p>Alice breathed out in relief when she received his message, especially after last time she had a feeling she wasn't welcome anymore. After his panic attack in the middle of the night he had been acting distant in the morning, giving her a feeling that the sooner she was gone, the better.</p><p>His note proved otherwise and it made her heart glow that he had decided to write her, reminding her of their very fist interactions. It felt like such a long time ago.</p><p>She understood that she had to respect his boundaries as FP wasn't used to having people around. Fortunately, he had already written her barely a week after she had stayed over, when she expected for this to take more than a month.</p><p>It showed a growth from his side but if she had to, she would give him all the time he needed. Alice wasn't insecure anymore. She decided to write him back very quickly.</p><p>
  <b> <em>I'm glad you wrote to me. I wasn't sure you wanted me to. Shall I come over this Friday? I'll cook for you.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— Alice</em> </b>
</p><p>FP grinned brightly when her note ended up on in his mailbox. Apparently, he hadn't scared her away. It might have been the voices in his head that had told him that she would run away, that he had screwed it up for good, but she stayed. She really was something else. If he were in her shoes, he probably wouldn't have replied.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Sounds great. We could use the vegetables from my garden. I am looking forward to seeing you again.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>— FP</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>**</em> </b>
</p><p>That Friday, after having dinner together that they had made from the vegetables from FP's garden, Alice was helping him doing the dishes. There hung tension in the small cabin, something both of them were fully aware of.</p><p>Though they made it through dinner by catching up, it seemed they had reached the point were they knew that the conversation they were avoiding, was hanging above them like a dark cloud. However, neither of them had the guts to bring up the last time, when she had stayed over.</p><p>Alice was too afraid to ask him if he had been thinking about their kiss as much as she had, or that maybe it didn't mean the same thing to him as it did to her. But now they were cleaning the plates together in complete silence, she decided to take the risk and go for a vulnerable approach.</p><p>“I'm glad you asked me to come back.” She said quietly and dared to look up to him from drying the white plate in her hand. FP looked up to her and smiled softly, his cheeks blushing a pink shade.</p><p>“I'm glad you still wanted to. After last time I was afraid you'd be scared of me.” He swallowed, even when he tried to play it off as something that wasn't such a big deal.</p><p>No matter how long he had thought about it, he couldn't think of a reason for Alice to be with him. She could get so much better and she deserved that, in his eyes.</p><p>“Why would I feel that way about you?” She asked quietly, her eyes sparkling in confusion. Did he really believe that? She had no reason to be afraid of him, the opposite actually.</p><p>FP dropped the dishes back into the water and looked up at her, his eyes a little sad. Didn't she see it? How could she be so blind? He was broken beyond repair but she kept on coming back. Why? What was it that she didn't understand? She could still run now, but she just wouldn't.</p><p>“What happened with the thunder... I'd be scared of myself, too. You must think something is terribly wrong with me.” He chuckled uncomfortable and cleaned his hands on the towel.</p><p>He wanted to walk away to distract himself, but Alice softly grabbed his hand and turned around with him.</p><p>“Nothing is wrong with you.” She said reassuringly, a small smile on her face. Her heart broke a little when she heard how FP thought of himself, when in her eyes he was so much more than what he gave himself credit for.</p><p>“Everyone in town would disagree with you.” He said lowly, looking down at his hands and fiddling with something that wasn't there.</p><p>“Who cares about what they think?” Alice answered quietly, her voice soft and sweet.</p><p>FP dared to look up to meet her eyes. He noticed how genuine her words were and how inviting the look in her beautiful blue orbs was. If he would stare at them a bit longer, he 'd drown— but he would gladly let that happen.</p><p>There were no words he had to be able to thank her for not giving up on him, for not thinking he was completely crazy and for not running away when he told her to. So, instead of even trying to find the right thing to say, he suddenly pulled her closer into a warm embrace.</p><p>It caught Alice a little off guard,  but she quickly melted into his hug. It looked like both of them needed that more than anything. Her hands softly stroke his back up and down as he nuzzled his nose into her blonde locks.</p><p>He wanted to hold her forever and never let go. This moment right here, holding the one person that turned his life upside down in the most confusing but wonderful way was how he wanted to be. He was happy to be with her and never wanted to lose that.</p><p>When they slowly pulled back, his hands landed on her waist, while hers ended up on his chest. He smiled softly as his fingers started to trace her sides in a natural way, as if they had never done anything else. Alice smiled back and let her hands creep up to his face, for her index and middle finger to trace his jaw in the most gentle way.</p><p>He leant in slowly, giving her time to back away if she didn't want this like he did, but as soon as she saw him tilting his head just slightly she mimicked his movements. Before he let himself kiss her, he nudged his nose against hers, asking her without words for her permission. Alice involuntarily smiled and leant in just a little bit more, until their lips softly brushed one another.</p><p>Alice was afraid that she might have overstepped and wanted to ask him if he was okay with what was happening between them, but before she even got the chance he locked their lips together in a deeper, more passionate kiss this time. She happily melted into the way he kissed her lips so gently and her hands came to cup his cheeks to hold into him as much as she could.</p><p>“Can you stay tonight? Please?” FP whispered quietly, after pulling away to give the both of them a moment to breathe.</p><p>“I'll stay.” Alice said softly, her thumbs stroking his cheeks.</p><p>He smiled sweetly and dove back into another kiss, his hands coming to rest on her hips more tightly. Slowly, he made her walk backwards while his lips kept on chasing hers in a gentle and love filled kiss, up until they were ending in his bedroom.</p><p>While softly letting his tongue enter her mouth to fight with hers, his hands had crept up to her blouse and slowly started to fiddle with the buttons. One by one he opened them carefully, feeling her soft skin touch his own.</p><p>Alice smiled into their passionate kiss that they only broke to get some air when absolutely necessary, and shrugged the white silk of her body, leaving her in her bra. He immediately continued kissing her, his hands holding her tiny waist in his big hands. His fingers on her bare skin created goosebumps all over, as if it was the very first time she could feel with how much love someone could touch her.</p><p>Alice's hands reached for his flannel and softly played with the button as well, taking her time to undress him before it would all become too much. Every touch, every look, every breath counted.</p><p>When she popped open the very last button of his cotton flannel, he suddenly tensed, broke their kiss and took a step away while catching his breath. His heart was racing in his chest and he looked at her with insecure eyes. He wasn't even sure what happened, or why he was suddenly so afraid.</p><p>“You okay?” She asked quietly, afraid that she had crossed a boundary that he wasn't ready to cross yet. It had felt cold, the second his lips had left hers.</p><p>FP looked at her beautiful appearance in a detailed white lace bra that looked so angelic on her and how her eyes had a sparkle of serenity in them that made him instantly calm down.</p><p>“Yeah... it has been a long time.” He said quietly, taking back the step that he had taken away from her and once again held her closely.</p><p>“It's okay. We can take this slow.” She traced the part of his chest that was exposed to her, as the flannel was open but still hugging his arms. Alice understood that after being alone for decades, this wasn't an easy step. If she was being honest to herself, she was just as nervous as he was.</p><p>No matter her invitation to take things easy, he shook his head immediately. His sudden fear wasn't to push her away or to tell her that he wasn't ready, but an impulse reaction from his body that he tried to understand.</p><p>“No— I want to. I really want to. I've been trying to push this feeling away, but I want to share this with you, Alice.” He whispered softly, almost a little hesitating, because he was afraid that she might not want this.</p><p>“Are you sure? We don't have to.” She said again, her fingers still softly tracing his chest as his hands came to hold her waist a little bit more firm.</p><p>The last thing Alice wanted, was for him to go through with anything that he might regret later, or that would trigger something in him. She was more than willing to wait, to do this on his terms.</p><p>“I'm sorry for ruining the moment.” He sighed and averted her gaze from her. By suddenly being so scared to be intimate with her he had totally screwed up— he thought.</p><p>“You didn't ruin anything.” She promised him sweetly and cupped his cheeks so he would look at her directly. FP smiled and leaned in to plant a featherlight kiss on her rosy lips. </p><p>“You look nice. Beautiful, I mean. You look beautiful.” He looked her up and down and blushed.</p><p>It had been so long since the last time he had someone in front of him so open and vulnerable. But Alice? She looked like an angel sent from heaven just for him.</p><p>There were a thousand things he wanted to say to her that he couldn't find the words for, but he was sure that overtime he'd learn to tell her how he felt. For now, he would do anything to show her how special she is to him.</p><p>“You do as well, FP. You look beautiful, too.” She whispered back, her lips tugging into a beaming smile.</p><p>Once again, she pulled FP closer to kiss him, to deepen it quickly. Slowly, she shrugged off the flannel of his shoulders, leaving him bare chested as their tongues chased one another. She could feel that he had some scars on his skin, and hopefully one day she would come to understand more of the wounds that created them.</p><p>“Do you trust me?” Alice asked him sweetly after pulling back to make sure he was still okay.</p><p>He just needed to say the word, and she'd give him the space he needs. But he didn't want to stop. He wanted her, he wanted <em>all</em> of her. Tonight, he was going to feel alive again, all thanks to her. So, he gave her a small nod. As for now, he trusted her with his life.</p><p>“Do you trust <em>me?”</em> FP asked in return, giving her an out if she still wanted one.</p><p>But as much as he wanted for this to happen, she wanted that just the same. Alice nodded softly and smiled up at him before letting him lock their lips in a sweet, tender and passionate kiss.</p><p>He slowly pushed her backwards until her knees hit the end of his bed and draped her down gently on his mattress. Kissing her wasn't like anything he had ever felt before.</p><p>Her lips molded with his together so perfectly, that it felt like they were made for each other. And if he was being honest? He would trade eighteen years of being alone for this one moment of being with Alice.</p><p>She had looked at him in complete awe as he slowly and a little insecurely undressed himself, afraid not to be what she had expected, or what she hoped for. But her eyes had twinkled even more and gestured again for him to come closer.</p><p>He had hovered over her, and when her hands traveled his body with a featherlight touch, he was being reminded of all the good in the world. To him, she was the embodiment of all that was pure, forgiving and caring.</p><p>All he had known for so long was pain, grief and guilt but when he for the first time in forever he didn't only dare to share the vulnerability of his body, but of his soul too, he knew that there was so much more. There was still light.</p><p>She kissed him softly, before reaching for the claps of her bra. She shrugged it off slowly, with his eyes glued to her chest. Alice's relationship with her ex-husband had anything but this soft or loving, and she couldn't remember him ever looking at her like she was an angelic miracle.</p><p>She smiled at him and hooked her fingers in her panties to drag him down her legs, her body still trapped between FP and the mattress of his bed. She could feel his breath on her skin, and when she was fully undressed and vulnerable in front of him, she cupped one of his cheeks. This time, she was the one to nudge her nose against his to ask him if he was okay. He nudged it back, his lips ghosting over hers.</p><p>Her hands were so soft and gentle with him and and he took the time to explore every piece of skin he could find. FP could barely believe that a woman like Alice would want to share a deeply intimate moment with him, that went way beyond anything physical. She looked at him so lovingly when they became one, he teared up.</p><p>Neither of them had broken their eye contact for a second as they walked on a cloud of pure bliss. Alice had to swallow away a tear when he had looked at her like she was the most beautiful woman in the universe, as she had never seen someone look at her in such light before. She had grabbed his hand in her own as they rocked together in a slow rhythm, both of them never wanting for this moment to end.</p><p>FP had never thought he'd ever experience something so pure and intimate like he was sharing with Alice. She never expected for someone to treat her with so much tenderness and love, that it made her never wanting to let go.</p><p>Alice kissed him so gentle and lovingly that she had wiped away a tear that had escaped the corner of his eye, just before he rolled next to her and pulled her naked-body close to him, holding on for as long as she would let him.</p><p>**</p><p>Alice woke up around two in the morning, when she noticed that the spot next to her was empty. FP had left the bed. For a second she thought he had just gone off to the bathroom, until she heard noises coming from the living room.</p><p>Quickly, she grabbed his flannel of the ground and a pair of sweats that he had lying around to dress herself. When she pushed his bedroom door open to peak into the living room, she noticed his silhouette.</p><p>“FP? What are you doing up?” She said sleepily. Her voice made him turn around.</p><p>Her eyes were getting used to the dark and she noticed the brush in his hand and the canvas right in front of him. He had put on his sweatpants, but nothing more. She wondered if he wasn't cold.</p><p>“Are you painting?” She asked confusedly as she took a few steps closer. FP struggled to find words, but they weren't needed. His painting said enough.</p><p>“That's us...” Alice let her fingers slide over the side, as she looked at the two silhouettes on the painting that were blissfully wrapped into each other, slowly molding together as one.</p><p>She looked behind her to catch his eyes as she heard his breathing quickening behind her. His eyes were drifting rapidly. Before he could take a few steps away from her, Alice grabbed his waist.</p><p>“You're panicking... what's going on?” She asked him concerned. Was this all too much for him at once? Did she had done or say something that made him feel trapped or scared?</p><p>“Do you have any regrets?” She added to her previous question, her voice sweet and low even when the thought of him regretting sleeping with her was breaking her heart.</p><p>“Alice...” He shook his head confused. He wanted to walk away, but fought against the urge. No more running. Just honestly and vulnerability.</p><p>“I'm afraid that you'll end up seeing me the way I see myself.” FP confessed silently, the tears glossing in his eyes, ready to fall.</p><p>“How's that? How do you see yourself?” She asked softly, her hands coming to hold his face. Her fingers stroked his cheeks to make him calm down. It seemed to work.</p><p>“As someone who can't be fixed. I'm meant to be alone.” He stated, a bitter chuckle leaving his mouth as this time as he leaped away. The more his mind spiraled about it, the more he felt that a woman like Alice deserved more than to be with him.</p><p>“Why are you even here? Why do you even spend time with me?” He asked her, his voice cracking and the first tear rolling down his cheek to his chin.</p><p>Alice looked at him with tear filled eyes, but didn't say anything just yet. She knew that these thoughts, these feelings had to come out. He needed to share his demons with her, so she understood where he came from. This wasn't about telling him that it wasn't all true. This was about making sure that he could tell her anything.</p><p>“It's all going to end up in hurt, Alice. It always does.” He swallowed as he looked away from her.</p><p>As she had stayed silent, he expected for her to take her jacket and leave him for good. But she didn't. She never would. Her mission was to make sure he was going to feel loved by her, and that he knew he deserved it.</p><p>“Dance with me?” She extended her hand to him. He raised his eye-brow a little confused.</p><p>“Please?” She said more softly, taking a step forward so he could accept her gesture.</p><p>FP's face softened. She wasn't going to leave. And though he didn't understand why she'd stay, he took her hand in his own and let her pull him closer until her head rested on his chest. He closed his eyes as she softly swayed them back and forth in the same rhythm over and over again, finding his heartbeat become steady again.</p><p><em>He was safe with her. </em>She had him and he had her. Neither of them had any idea how long they were dancing, but they kept on swaying while holding one another close feeling calmer and more loved than both of them had ever felt. The silence around them was all the music they needed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"My house of stone, your ivy grows<br/>And now I'm covered in you."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Best Friend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"And you wanna scream<br/>Don't call me kid<br/>Don't call me baby<br/>Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me<br/>You showed me colors you know<br/>I can't see with anyone else"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>No matter FP's instinct to run away from every little thing that came too close to his heart, the next morning he was sitting on his small couch, with a smiling Alice cuddled close up to his side.</p><p>She had laid her legs to her left side, her knees close to her chest as her upper body rested close to his torso. Once again she had stolen his oversized sweater and woolen grey socks that were way too big for her feet, to keep her warm.</p><p>To make sure her legs wouldn't get cold, he stroked his hand up and down her bare skin. It tickled a little, but she loved how tender and featherlight his touch was. It was a reminder of how last night hadn't been a dream, but something very real.</p><p>He had never seen someone this beautiful. Her hair was in a low ponytail and the strands that fell out of it hugged her face perfectly. It was cute and playful and to make it even more magical, there was ray of sunshine right on her face making her look even more angelic. They were stealing small butterfly kisses as they were in their own little bubble, ignoring the world and all their fears for a little while.</p><p>“Your lips are so soft... I could kiss them all day.” FP whispered with a smile on his face, before diving in for another sweet peck.</p><p>Alice giggled and traced his cheek and jaw with her index finger. It had been a long time since she had last felt this happy and carefree. Being in his arms in that very moment was enough for her to believe she could take on the world if she had to.</p><p>It seemed almost impossible that the man that first wasn't able to talk to her, was now holding her into his warm embrace after the intimate night they had spend together.</p><p>“I can't get over how a few months ago I wanted to know your name and now I am having breakfast with you, in your sweater.” She sighed happily and kissed him once more, letting both of them melt into the thrilling sensation of their cloud of bliss.</p><p>“I haven't thanked you yet,” FP said quietly, as he grabbed one of her hands in his own with the one that wasn't wrapped around her side to keep her near. Alice looked confused. What did he have to thank her for?</p><p>“You calmed me down last night when I was out painting like a mad man.” He chuckled a little, recalling how she had known exactly what to do to get him out of the state of panic he was in after he had woken up in the middle of the night.</p><p>“It was like you saw right through me.” He whispered, his eyes softening as he looked straight into hers. Alice smiled sweetly and scooted over even closer, her face barely an inch from his.</p><p>“Maybe I do.” She whispered back.</p><p>FP smiled. She really saw things in him that nobody had ever seen before and for that he was eternally grateful. To him, she was the most special person he had ever met, someone who had taken place in his heart and passed the guards like it was nothing.</p><p>“You made something beautiful.” Alice turned her head to the side and eyed the artwork he had painted last night when he got out of bed.</p><p>She wouldn't have expected for him to turn their night together into art, but if she had the time she would stare at it forever. He couldn't quite say it with words yet, but looking at his painting told her everything she needed to know about how special last night had been to him.</p><p><em>“We</em> did. I captured us.” He started at the painting and smiled a little to himself.</p><p>Usually, he never involved someone else in his work. His own thoughts and feelings had always been enough, but sharing this overwhelming but beautiful moment with Alice had been something he needed to immortalize, especially when he didn't have any idea when the bubble would burst and he'd be all alone again.</p><p>“I hope you don't mind. I don't want to impose on something personal.” His fingers played with her hair as he looked for her eyes.</p><p>He had never considered asking her if he was allowed to paint such an intimate moment between the two of them, it had just naturally happened almost as if he didn't have any control over it.</p><p>“It's your best work. It's pure.” She said sweetly, before planting another kiss on his lips. Every time he kissed her or she kissed him, she felt butterflies being released in her whole body. She wondered if that was how love was supposed to feel.</p><p>“Sorry, for freaking out.” He apologized sincerely, his cheeks flushing a light shade of red while his hand stroked up and down her thigh.</p><p>FP felt ashamed every single time she saw him panicking over something that seemed no big deal for the rest of the world, but what impacted his emotions and wellbeing extremely. He hoped she wouldn't see him as a freak, as it was hard to not feel like he wasn't normal like everybody else.</p><p>“I wish I could promise you it won't happen again, but I'm not so sure about that.” FP added a little insecurely.</p><p>He really wanted to be able to have his own emotions more under control and though he had her to help him with that, he was pretty sure there'd be a moment where he was too overwhelmed and would freak out again.</p><p>“That's okay.” She reassured him, before laying down her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around his middle.</p><p>FP sighed relieved and folded her into a warm embrace, wanting to hold her till the end of times. Maybe things were slowly becoming okay again.</p><p>**</p><p>Two days later, Mary had invited Alice to come have dinner at her place again as the two of them began to become close friends. Besides her obvious growing connection with FP, she was very grateful to have someone in her daily life that she could count on.</p><p>The rest of the town besides Sheriff Keller hadn't really warmed up to her— or the idea of a woman as mayor for that matter. She even needed to win the hearts of the people who voted for her in the first place. They might have hated Hiram Lodge, but that didn't necessarily mean they loved her. It was a hard task, but she hoped that with time she could really earn their trust.</p><p>“FP mentioned that you've been spending more time together...” Mary looked up to her knowingly, a smile tugging on her lips.</p><p>“We do. Things are great. Confusing, but great.” Alice smiled and took a bite of dinner.</p><p>She had been trying to ease FP's insecure and anxious thoughts so much that she barely had time to think about how she felt about the current development in their relationship. It was scary to think about how easily he had torn down the wall around her heart.</p><p>It was almost as if the harder he pushed back, the more her walls had crumbled. She had barely noticed that it happened, until they slept together. Wasn't this all going too fast? Or was being with FP exactly what she needed?</p><p>“What confuses you?” Mary asked curiously. For a reason she couldn't explain, she had always thought that Alice was more confident than FP was.</p><p>It might have been just an illusion created by Alice to convince people she was as confident as she looked. It made Mary wonder if maybe that was all just an act.</p><p>“I didn't think I was ready for... whatever is going on between us.” She said a little shyly.</p><p>When Alice had come to Riverdale, the last thing she had her mind on was the potential of finding a new romantic partner. The opposite actually. She had been hurt so deeply, she never thought she could let someone in again the way she was trying with FP.</p><p>Her wounds were so deep and not even healed, that she questioned if that would even happen. Some cuts were just so deep, they would never disappear. It was terrifying that FP made all of her doubts go away, as if she didn't have any choice than to fight for him.</p><p>“What do you think you two have?” Mary asked her softly.</p><p>FP couldn't be quite open about it towards her, but since she had come to learn that Alice was a little better with words (she was a politician after all) she figured that maybe she could explain the growing bond between the two.</p><p>But Alice fell completely silent. A question like that she hadn't even been able to answer to herself, let alone that she could say it out loud to her friend. Suddenly, she understood where FP's states of panic came from, as she was feeling exactly the same right now.</p><p>Her breath pattern quickened and she had to lay down her fork before she'd drop it. Mary immediately caught on that her question had triggered something bad.</p><p>“Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.” She apologized immediately.</p><p>Mary didn't want to be nosy, she just wanted to pay an interest in the growing relationship between the two confused lovebirds. She cared deeply about FP, who had grown to be family over the decades, and Alice was becoming a real good friend, too. All she wished for was being able to help them into the right direction.</p><p>“It's alright.” Alice breathed out and gave her friend a soft smile. She knew that Mary would never mean to trigger her on purpose. Her reaction was even a surprise to herself.</p><p>“All I meant is that I can see that you have a very positive influence on FP. As someone who has seen him shut out the world for two decades, it's refreshing to see that he is opening up.” Mary smiled sweetly as memories of FP laying in bed all day, or not seeing the sun for weeks flashed in front of her eyes.</p><p>It had broken her heart to see someone she cared about blaming himself for the death of his best friend, of <em>her</em> soulmate. He lost weight and his eyes were always red stained. The last time she had seen him glow was when he found his love for the arts and when he started his vegetable garden. That had been over fifteen years ago.</p><p>She had looked at him closely the last couple of months and he seemed a little less pale and the bags under his eyes had been reduced. He looked way more rested and happy, in a way she hadn't seen since they were in high school together.</p><p>“Did FP ever get help? For what he has been through?” Alice asked carefully, her voice soft. She had never dared to ask him, afraid to strike a nerve and upset him.</p><p>“He refuses, Alice. He's never been ready.” Mary sighed quietly.</p><p>Several times she had asked him to see someone to process his loss just like she had done, but he had never wanted to join her. Eventually, she had just stopped asking as it was very clear how he felt about therapy.</p><p>As the two women talked, no other than Archie Andrews came walking into the living room and grabbed a piece of bread before reaching for his jacket that was draped over one of the dinner table chairs.</p><p>“Isn't that man just completely crazy? You must be at least a little weird if you live in the woods all by yourself.” Archie shrugged and raised his eyebrow slightly.</p><p>He had overheard his mother mentioning the name of FP and he remembered what Cheryl and Veronica had said about him. Why was his Mom even talking about him?</p><p>“I didn't raise you to talk about people that way.” Mary warned him immediately.</p><p>Alice swallowed. Even after her conversation with Cheryl in the park, people still looked at FP this way. She might have stopped spreading the rumors, but the damage that was already done couldn't be erased that easily.</p><p>“Everyone's saying it, Mom. Those stories had to come from somewhere.” Archie defended himself. If everyone thought he was crazy, then it had to be true, hadn't it? Why would people say something like that if it was all a lie?</p><p>“Your father wouldn't want you to talk about him like that.” Mary's eyes glossed over as she grew deeply disappointed in the behavior of her son.</p><p>She had never told him about the close bond between FP and Fred, afraid that one day Archie might want to reach out to him, when she knew FP couldn't handle that. It was the only secret she had ever kept from her son and though it was eating her alive, she knew it was for the best.</p><p>“How can I know? I have no idea who my father is!” Archie suddenly yelled, startling both Alice and Mary.</p><p>His face immediately softened, realizing that he had crossed a line. Truth was, the older he got, the more frustrating it became that he had no idea who the man was that was supposed to have raised him. He missed a part of his identity that he was never, ever getting back.</p><p>“Why do you stick up for that man anyway?” He shrugged nonchalantly, trying to ease the awkward tension in the living room.</p><p>“Because it was your father's best friend!” Mary exclaimed, the bomb bursting for her now, too.</p><p>She couldn't take it any longer. Though she had been successfully keeping this secret for eighteen years, hearing Archie talk about FP in such a negative light was the last straw. Fred would have never wanted that.</p><p>Archie's eyes grew wide in shock.<em> FP Jones was his father's friend?</em> The crazy man in the woods knew who his dad was? The person that they had been talking about for months now was one of the few people who could actually tell stories about the man he had missed his whole life? And yet, he was exactly the one person he couldn't reach out to.</p><p>Archie didn't say anything. That his mother had never told him this before was the kind of betrayal he had never expected from her, not from the one person he trusted with his life. He needed to get away from home. Without even much of glance, Archie ran out of the house, needing an escape to sort out his thoughts.</p><p>**</p><p>Alice softly knocked on the wooden door of the cabin, wearing a jacket with a checkered pattern that was a little bit more suitable for the spring season that was on its way. The sun was shining bright and she had a feeling that today was going to be a good day. In a matter of seconds, the door was being unlocked and opened by FP.</p><p>“Hey, I hadn't expected you today.” He smiled up at her, it was a pleasant surprise to see her.</p><p>“I was wondering if you'd like to go to town with me?” She beamed brightly and extended her hand to him.</p><p>Alice could see the insecurity and fear growing in his eyes. She realized that it was a big step, maybe she had taken it a little too far at once.</p><p>“Too much?” She asked softly and his eyes immediately relaxed. He didn't want to say it out loud, afraid to disappoint her. But once again, she proved to be able to see right through him.</p><p>“How about a car ride? We can take a walk at Sweetwater River?” She proposed. It could be just the first step to get out of the cabin more, for him to embrace the world around him in a pace that he was comfortable with.</p><p>At the river, they didn't have to run into anyone. It could be just the two of them. FP nodded and gave her a sweet smile. He believed he was ready to go out more— as long as she was there.</p><p>**</p><p>He had her hand tightly clutched into his own as they strolled down the shores of the river that connected the three towns. It had been a long time since he had last felt the rays of the sun on his face. He had forgotten how good that could feel. The welcoming warmth on his skin really felt like a reward for getting out of the house.</p><p>“This is nice, isn't it?” He looked sideways to the woman next to him, seeing how much of an angel she looked like in the sunlight.</p><p>“I haven't been here for so long...” FP looked around and focused on the sound of the streaming river on his left side. He could sit at the shore and listen to the calming waves all day.</p><p>Fresh air was doing him well. His eyes shone a little brighter and the permanent frown on his face seemed to relax a little bit more. He felt more alive, more human, more real. Alice smiled up at him. She was proud that he had taken the leap to go for a walk with her and she could see how positively his body reacted to being outside.</p><p>“Fred and I used to hang out here as teenagers.” He told her, his eyes shimmering melancholically.</p><p>They had always loved the outside. If they weren't at the old treehouse close to the cabin, then they were skipping rocks at Sweetwater river. There had been days, where they had talked for hours just sitting at the shores, their feet in the cold water.</p><p>“What was he like?” She asked him softly.</p><p>Alice had always been a little scared to ask him about Fred and therefore waited for a moment until he would talk about him, so she knew he was okay with sharing a part of their friendship. Now seemed the right moment.</p><p>“Fred was... the most loving and kindhearted person I had ever met. He made you believe in the good of people, even when it was hard to. Because of that, he made a better person.” FP smiled sadly as he thought of his brother, missing him a little more today.</p><p>Out of the two of them, Fred had always been the positive one, while FP used to look at things a bit more pessimistic. He was like to moon to Fred's sun. Both so different, yet both the same.</p><p>“He sounds like a good friend.” Alice smiled at him as they kept on strolling alongside Sweetwater River. In that moment, she wished she could have met Fred, to get to know his bright soul.</p><p>“The best I ever had.” FP said sadly, his eyes fixated on the endless water stream. Alice softly tugged on his hand to make him stop in his tracks. She needed to be able to look in his eyes.</p><p>“Are you alright?” She asked softly, her free hand coming up to his cheek to stroke his rough stubble.</p><p>“I want to go home, please.” He choked out, his eyes visibly glossing over with tears that were trying their best to fall.</p><p>Though being outside had done him good, he was slowly getting overwhelmed by all the memories that he had of his best friend.</p><p>“Okay. We'll go home.” She assured him and squeezed his hand softly. It was enough for today.</p><p>**</p><p>Once back in the cabin, Alice tried to find his eyes again. She wasn't sure what he needed right now, but she didn't want to leave him alone when he was upset. She stood behind him, his back facing her. Though she had come to learn to read him, it was hard to figure out what his body language was telling her.</p><p>“Do you want for me to draw you a bath?” She proposed sweetly, knowing how that always helped her relax. Maybe that would help him as well. It was worth a try, even in his small bathtub.</p><p>“Alice...” He slowly turned around, his eyes confused and overwhelmed. She had never seen that look in his eyes before.</p><p>“What is it?” She asked, her voice soft and inviting. Her intuition telling her that something bad was about to happen, something she needed to guide him through.</p><p>He took a breath, trying to find the right words to express what his heart was fighting against. His eyes glossed over again when he looked at her, afraid that the perfect thing he had right now was going to be taken away from him, forever.</p><p>“If I love you, that means I am going to lose you, isn't it? But as for right now, that's the one thing I won't survive.” He choked out quietly.</p><p>FP had barely survived the loss of his friend, and it made him even more terrified of the haunting thought of losing the one person that made him see that life was worth living, that not all was lost.</p><p>Alice's teared up as well, as she realized that the one person he had ever loved dearly had been unfairly taken from him and how deep his fright of the same thing happening to them actually was. She took a step into his direction for him to be able to look into his eyes.</p><p>“I understand, FP.” She whispered softly, wanting for him to know that she listened and that she was going to help him through every dark thought, every demon that was still haunting him.</p><p>“How can you?” He scoffed lowly and averted his gaze from her, before looking back in her eyes.</p><p>“What do you know about losing your best friend on the battlefield? How can you possibly know what it's like to hold the one person who has always been there for you, in your arms as they bleed to death? How can you even say you understand what it's like to see someone you care about so deeply fighting to stay alive, but losing? How do you even know what it feels like to lose the one person you had promised to protect, knowing that you failed?”</p><p>FP had started to ramble, his voice only getting louder the more he spoke. His tears spilled down the corner of his eyes towards his cheeks, until they collected themselves together on his chin. His body was trembling from both the overwhelming emotions and his anxiety and he had no idea how to control it.</p><p>For years, he had felt like nobody understood his pain, nobody understood his nightmares, nobody understood waking up every single day with the deep feeling of guilt about being the one responsible for your best friend's death.</p><p>How could someone even pretend to know what that feels like? For the past eighteen years, it had felt like someone or something was pushing him down, keeping him in bed, keeping him inside his own head until he would drown.</p><p>There had been more times than he could count where he wished for that demon to kill him, so he could finally rest and be with Fred again-- to apologize, to be with the one person that always had his back.</p><p>His shoulders shocked slightly as he sniffed, his cheeks soaked with tears. But he wasn't the only one crying. His words had cut through Alice's heart like a knife, as if for the very first time she could really feel the pain FP had felt every single day for the past two decades.</p><p>She wanted to hold him, to heal him, to make sure he could see that life was still beautiful, even when sometimes the hurt could feel like someone choking on you until your last breath.</p><p>But the tears that stuck on her cheeks weren't only for his deeply rooted pain and trauma, it was for her own as well. She might not know how it is to lose her best friend in her arms, but she had lost someone she had loved very deeply. She had even lost part of herself.</p><p>“You're right. I don't know how that feels.” Her voice trembled right before she took a deep breath to continue.</p><p>“But I do know something about losing. I know how it feels to lose someone you love very deeply before you can even tell them you do. I am so sorry for all the terrible things you've seen, FP and I am sorry that they still haunt you. I really want to be there for you, to be the one who's willing to try to understand the pain that is suffocating you. But don't pretend you're the only one who's hurting.” Alice cried out, her tears continuing to stream down her cheeks like a waterfall.</p><p>When she was done with her rant, she wiped her tears, her shoulders shaking with little aftershocks.</p><p>“Sorry...” He croaked out roughly, his own eyes still red stained from crying. He wiped his cheeks and took a step into her direction.</p><p>He didn't want to lose her, not like this, not ever. Her impulses told her to storm out, but she didn't. Her feet were glued to the spot where she was standing in his living room, her soul screaming to connect with his.</p><p>“Alice... the last time I cared for someone, I lost them for good. Ever since that moment, I've been alone. And feeling that has changed is scary. Now I have something that can be taken away from me and that thought is nothing but pure torture.” He shook his head sadly.</p><p>The way his heart was pounding in his chest every time she was around, how every one of her touches felt like she was reaching for his soul and the way she right through him... it was too frightening. What if he would lose her as well? How could he possibly handle that?</p><p>But he had fallen too deep to let go. She had him. She had all of him. He was hopelessly caught in her web, there was no use in fighting it. No matter how much he tried to escape, to push her away to protect the both of them, she always stayed. She stayed because she felt the same, something FP still couldn't understand.</p><p>“Do you know that caring for someone can be beautiful? That it doesn't have to be torture?” Alice said quietly, her teary blue eyes looking right into his brown ones.</p><p>She knew that love could be the one thing to destroy you, to make it feel like life wasn't worth living. But that wasn't the only side of love. And though she had enough reasons to want to protect her heart as well, she wanted to take the leap with him, knowing that they could show each other that love was more than torture.</p><p>“I don't.” He confessed silently. Alice looked away. She had her answer.</p><p>“But maybe you can show me?” FP swallowed and held his hand out for her to grab. If she was right, he wanted for her to be the one to show him that things were still worth it, that love could be the most strange yet wonderful thing in the world.</p><p>Alice smiled through her tears and grabbed his hand, his palm feeling warm against hers. The journey was still ahead of them, but they were trying, they were trying to see the heartwarming side of loving someone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"And the skeletons in both our closets<br/>Plotted hard to fuck this up<br/>And the old men that I've swindled<br/>Really did believe I was the one<br/>And the ladies lunching have their stories about<br/>When you passed through town<br/>But that was all before I locked it down"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Lily</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"I want you to know<br/>I'm a mirrorball<br/>I'll show you every version of yourself tonight<br/>I'll get you out on the floor<br/>Shimmering beautiful<br/>And when I break it's in a million pieces"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alice was standing right in front of her red door at Elm Street, her hand on the doorknob. Leaving the house every morning and returning every single night all by herself had something she had done for months. It had become a ritual, one she became familiar with.</p><p>But she wasn't alone like she usually was. Next to her was the man she was falling hard for, his hand tightly clutched into her own. A few weeks ago she had invited him to visit her house and today he finally felt ready to take that step with her.</p><p>FP never came somewhere else except his own house. The cabin, his garden, the woods, it had been his home for eighteen years. It was all he knew, the only place so far that he really felt safe.</p><p>If he really had a need to go out, he always chose to go to Greendale. Nobody knew him there, he was free of judgement. But Riverdale? That was a big no go. He was delighted to notice that ever since Alice had been around, he had dared to take small steps to become part of the world again. Agreeing to visit her house was a good begin.</p><p>"Are you sure you're ready?" She asked him, a small smile curling on her lips.</p><p>Her heart was thumping in her chest as for the very first time she was going to let someone into the place she called home ever since she moved to town. She wasn't even sure why she was so nervous as she believed it shouldn't be a big deal to invite him into her home. Yet, she was very aware of how the tables were slowly turning. It wasn't just her helping FP open up, now it was time for her to show a little more of herself. Truth to be told, she was terrified.</p><p>"Definitely." He assured her, giving her hand a squeeze.</p><p>She had been at his home so often that it was time for him to see how she lived. He really wanted to see more of her and find out what was behind the woman that had touched a part of his soul.</p><p>Alice unlocked her door and walked inside, followed by FP closely behind. While she hung up her jacket, he walked to the living room and let his eyes drift around.</p><p>It was a typical modern home, way different than his own little place. The style in the cabin was old fashioned, which wasn't surprising since he hadn't changed anything for the last two decades, but nonetheless it was warm. It showed part of who he was and that is what it made <em>his</em> home. He couldn't quite feel that in the room he was living in.</p><p>One thing in particular caught his attention— it was as if he had walked right into a catalogue home. He couldn't spot one thing that made her home hers.</p><p>"Don't you have any pictures?" He turned around to look at her, his eye brow furrowed.</p><p>His eyes had scanned the whole living room to find something, but nothing was there. Maybe it was because his whole place was decorated with either stuff from Fred or his own teenage years and his paintings, that he missed that in her home. There didn't seem to be anything that radiated her personality. Alice shook her head slightly, swallowing the lump in her throat at the same time.</p><p>"It's so impersonal..." FP said carefully, looking around once more to see if he had missed something.</p><p>No trinkets. No paintings. No pictures. Nothing. Just all the things that were really necessary.</p><p>"Had you expected anything different?" Alice asked him, her voice soft.</p><p>After deciding to move away from her husband and the town she used to live in at the West coast, she had decided that she didn't want to be reminded of her old life. Everything she had ever owned, was either burned or thrown away. It had helped her feel brand new, though she wished she could get rid of the painful memories that were forever carved into her brain.</p><p>She wanted to make memories here, but as for now she hadn't taken the time to make it more homy. If she was being honest with herself, she didn't feel like she had anything to show with pride. What was the point if you didn't have a family?</p><p>"Well, yeah..." FP confessed softly, a sad frown on his face. He had gotten to know her as such a vibrant person that he thought he would find that back in her home.</p><p>"It's so... cold." He said quietly, almost afraid to say those words. However, that was exactly how her house looked. Cold. Like nobody really stayed there as if it was only for show.</p><p>"Perfect for the house of an <em>Ice Queen</em>." Alice scoffed lowly before poking her tongue in her cheek to stop the tears from collecting in her eyes.</p><p>Everything she had been running away from, felt like it was catching up with her. Running seemed impossible. If even FP could see her coldness, it could very well mean that it was simply there. She could try and hide it for as long as she could, but she wondered if people had been right. Maybe she was an Ice Queen.</p><p>"What?" asked FP confused, taking a step into her direction.</p><p>"You haven't heard?" Alice was surprised as the rumor seemed to have spread pretty fast after her arrival.</p><p>She wondered how he could have missed it, but was then hit by the realization that the only other person he spoke to was Mary, who would've never gossiped about her behind her back. Somehow it relieved her that he hadn't heard of the story.</p><p>Now it was up to her whether she would decide to share that part of her with him, or if she would keep that to herself before he'd run away from her for good.</p><p>"It's what people in my old town used to call me." She explained sadly, her eyes drifting down to the floor.</p><p>Maybe it was time for her to be honest, to share every little detail. He had been so open to her, he deserved the same kind of honesty and vulnerability back. She felt like she owed him that.</p><p>"They did that, because..." Alice looked up at him again and nervously fiddled with her hands as she tried to find the courage to share her story, but as soon as she tried to continue she felt her throat tighten.</p><p>FP immediately noticed the way she tensed up and made his way over to her. His hands landed on her waist and he started to gently stroke his hand up and down her sides to comfort her.</p><p>He could read the physical signs of her body perfectly because he knew them all too well. The last thing he wished for was to upset her, especially when he knew that some things could be hard to say out loud, even to yourself.</p><p>"Hey, you don't have to tell me." He said softly, seeing in her eyes that she wasn't ready to tell a very painful part of her life.</p><p>FP understood like no other what it's like to try to keep part of yourself hidden and he'd never force Alice to tell him anything that she wasn't ready for.</p><p>Alice looked up at him with teary eyes and swallowed. He was the first one to be so gentle, caring and patient with her that for a second she thought it was all just a dream and she'd wake up any second now.</p><p>"You're no Ice Queen, Alice. You're warm... like a soft blanket on a rainy day." He pulled her as close as he could and let his nose brush against hers while giving her a sweet smile. She smiled back through her tears, his words making her glow again.</p><p>"Come, show me the rest." He grabbed her hand and smiled, wanting to do everything to cheer her up.</p><p>She had taken him upstairs to show the rest of the house and ended up in her bedroom— the one place that was the slightest bit personal compared to the rest of the house.</p><p>FP noticed her beautiful queen sized bed that was neatly made, a book on her nightstand about the history of Riverdale and a big collection of throw pillows.</p><p>But there was one thing in the room that specifically called for him. Almost as if it was a whisper that made him look. Above the head of the bed was a tiny picture frame, with what it seemed to be a real Lily flower between the glass. He slowly walked closer to look at it. It was a single white flower, staring at him as if it was trying to tell a story. He just couldn't read it.</p><p>"That's a beautiful flower... is that the only thing you brought when you moved?" FP turned to look at her, trying to see in her eyes what kind of emotional value it had.</p><p>"It's a Lily, right?" He asked softly, a warm smile curling on his lips. Alice nodded and forced herself to smile as well.</p><p>She had made sure everything of her old life had vanished—<em>except for the flower. </em>It wasn't just a memory to her pain, it meant so much more than that. She wished she could explain to him why she had kept it, and why it made her so emotional.</p><p>"I got it when..." Alice tried to follow up with something that would make sense, but once again her words got stuck in her throat.</p><p>Her heart screamed to share her story with him, but her mouth didn't cooperate. She swallowed audible when the tears stung in her eyes. Alice didn't want to cry in front of FP, even when he was the only person she trusted on a deep, personal level. She wanted to be ready, but she couldn't speak, not yet.</p><p>As soon as FP saw the tears swimming in her eyes, he gently took her face into his hand and kissed her softly to tell her that all was fine. She didn't have to share anything that was too painful to talk about. He was going to be there for her until and <em>if</em> she would decide to talk to him.</p><p>She melted into his gentle and love filled kiss and let her hands fall on his waist. His touch, his warmth and his support was all she would ever need. She was falling hard for the man that was holding her and though it should've scared her, it didn't.</p><p>"It doesn't matter that you don't have much personal stuff in your home. We can make memories here, together." He promised her sweetly, his voice a soft whisper to soothe her.</p><p>The way he held her, the way he spoke to her, it was all an impulse to comfort the one that he had developed deep intense feelings for. He didn't know he had it in him to be the one to be there for someone else, to actually be the calm in the storm. FP was so used to being trouble, that the way she was looking at him with such a loving and grateful spark in her eyes was totally new.</p><p>He wasn't sure he could say this out loud yet, but the longer he looked in her beautiful hypnotizing blue eyes he realized that he was very much in love with the woman in his arms. There curled a warm smile on his face before he leant in and locked their lips together, deepening it when he felt her clutch her hands tightly into his flannel.</p><p>Slowly, he turned her around so her back was facing the bed as he kept on kissing her with so much tenderness and passion, she had never experienced before.</p><p>FP softly laid her down onto her mattress and gave her a sweet smile as he hovered over her, his hands coming to play with her hair. His smile was so beautiful to her, more beautiful than any smile she had ever seen before. It was the precious and unique way that he had looked at her that made her come to realize she was in love with him.</p><p>No matter for how long she would try to tell herself she didn't, she was deeply falling in love with the man who connected their lips again and gently undid the buttons of her blouse to undress her.</p><p>Alice had promised herself not to fall in love, not even to get involved with someone— she never believed she would be ready for an emotional attachment to anyone ever again.</p><p>But then there was FP, the man who was so different than she was and yet almost exactly the same. He had freed the part of herself that she had tried to lock away, as if he had been carrying the key his whole life and had waited for her to stop by. Her heart wanted him for the rest of her life.</p><p>FP slowly pressed soft little kisses in the valley of her breasts after getting rid of her blouse, paying attention to every piece of skin he could find to treat her like the angel she is in his eyes.</p><p>She closed her eyes for a brief second, enjoying his featherlight and loving touch. She wondered if she even deserved to be treated like this, but every time he looked at her all those doubts faded away.</p><p>When she tugged on the shirt that he was wearing underneath his flannel, he quickly removed both garments, leaving him bare chested. Her fingers traced his torso as he looked at her with a loving gaze and grabbed one of her legs in his strong hands to wrap around his waist.</p><p>The more he was falling, the more afraid he should've been. The crazy thing was, around her he felt both terrified and peacefully calm simultaneously. He didn't want to be without her anymore, not ever again.</p><p>**</p><p>Twisted in bedsheets, FP popped himself up on his elbow to look at the flushed woman next to him. There was a little ray of sunshine coming through the curtains, shining right in her face and making her golden locks glow even more. He had a content smile plastered over his face and smiled even brighter the longer he started at her.</p><p>"Can I play with your hair?" He asked sweetly, in a soft whisper.</p><p>Alice giggled and gave him a small nod. Her eyes came to close immediately when his fingers came to tangle in her blonde locks, softly stroking her scalp as he continued.</p><p>"It tickles." She smiled with her eyes closed, subconsciously scooting over a little closer to him.</p><p>"I was hoping it would." He said softly, before leaning in to press a featherlight kiss on her forehead. Alice opened her eyes again to look right into his beautiful brown orbs.</p><p>"Your bed hair is adorable." She hummed, her hand reaching for his dark locks to comb through them.</p><p>"You created it yourself, with the softest hands in the world." His hand reached for her wrist and he turned his head to gently press a kiss to her palm. She smiled up at him, wanting to be here in this little moment together, forever.</p><p>"I like being with you like this." He confessed silently, wrapping his arm around her waist with the one that wasn't supporting his own weight.</p><p>"Me too." She whispered back, her voice still featherlight from coming back to earth.</p><p>FP shifted a little so he was laying down again and snuggled up close to her. She turned as well, so they were both facing one another. He pecked a sweet kiss on her shoulder.</p><p>"Alice... I might not know all the hurt you've been through and I'll never force you to tell me, but when you're ready, I'll be here to listen the same way you'd do for me." He said sweetly, his voice nothing but a soft whisper.</p><p>Maybe she'd never be able to share the story of the Lily flower, or why her house didn't contain any pictures, but if there would be a moment he'd listen to every single word. There was nothing that she could tell him that would ever change his mind about her and he'd wipe her tears even if he wouldn't know why they were falling.</p><p>"Thank you. I will tell you, just... not now. Not yet." She said silently, her index finger reaching for his face and tickling his stubble softly.</p><p>He kissed her gently, telling her that she could take all the time in the world. He would wait for her story, forever if he had to.</p><p>"That's okay." He said quietly, pulling her close as he wrapped her up in a warm embrace, before they'd fall asleep in each other's arms like time didn't exist anymore.</p><p>**</p><p>That same evening, Mary had invited the both of them to have dinner at her place. FP had agreed, as he had the two people he trusted most right by his side. He was ready to be out more, including coming to visit his best friend.</p><p>"It's great having the both of you here." Mary said sweetly as she placed dinner at the centre of the table.</p><p>"I'm proud of you, FP." She touched his shoulder and squeezed for a quick second as she looked straight into his eyes. Hearing those words made his heart glow, especially since Mary knew him like nobody else did.</p><p>"Thanks, Mary. That means the world to me." He nodded gratefully. FP wanted to say so much more, but right now it was all he could give her.</p><p>Over the years, she had done so much for him and he hoped that one day he could do something in return. Though to FP it seemed impossible to pay her back for how she had taken care of him when the roles should have been reversed, he'd always try to make up for lost time.</p><p>"I hope the two of you like lasagna." She gestured to the food and grabbed a spoon to bring it up to their plates.</p><p>"How's going outside? Are you feeling okay?" Mary asked curiously, as she had heard from Alice that they were making progress by going outside to places besides the woods or the river.</p><p>"It's good. Alice helps me take small steps. I'm doing it on my own pace." FP smiled a little and grabbed the hand of the woman across from him. She smiled back. She was just as proud of him as Mary was.</p><p>"But having her there when it's all too much... that helps." FP explained a little shyly.</p><p>There were times he still felt ashamed for his fear to be around people, or his fright to make an emotional connection to someone. It was all getting better now, but sometimes he just wanted to hide under his sheets out of embarrassment. He cleared his throat, before he would get too emotional.</p><p>"Dinner is great, by the way. I missed this." FP smiled as he took another bite.</p><p>"It's my favorite." He beamed, making Alice smile up at him. Seeing him happy was making her feel good as well.</p><p>Alice wanted to open her mouth to tell about their walk at Sweetwater River a few weeks prior, until they heard someone coming through the front door. It was a redheaded boy dressed in his letterman jacket. He came to a halt when he saw the people sitting at the dinner table.</p><p>"Archie..." Mary swallowed.</p><p>He told her would go have Pop's with some friends from school, so she hadn't bothered telling him that they had guests over. Actually, she had planned this dinner on the one night in the week that she was sure of he wouldn't be home. However, now he was in the living room she needed to improvise a little bit.</p><p>"Will you join us, honey?" She asked sweetly, gesturing for the empty chair next to Alice.</p><p>But Archie wasn't looking at his mother. He had eye contact with no other than the man that used to be his father's best friend. He had only found it out a few weeks ago and he hadn't been able to fully process that there was someone who had known his father ever since their childhood, someone who could answer every question that he ever had about his dad. The boy noticeably swallowed, his eyes fixated on FP.</p><p>"You're FP... FP Jones..." He said quietly, the blood disappearing out of his face.</p><p>As much as Archie had been scared, FP was petrified. He had never spoke one word to Archie, had never met the boy before. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but it was as if his vocal cords had been cut.</p><p>Archie turned around and immediately leaped back to the front door and ran outside without a second thought, leaving the three adults in only the echo of the door shutting with a loud bang.</p><p>"I'm sorry." Mary apologized on behalf of her son.</p><p>She understood that it was a lot for Archie to comprehend, but this wasn't fair to FP either. She knew very well that he was scared to meet her son and if she'd known that he would've come home early, she would've made sure for the three of them to eat somewhere else.</p><p>"It's alright." FP croaked out quietly, tears stinging in his eyes. <em>He had seen Archie. Fred's son</em>. In a way he couldn't explain, he looked so much like him.</p><p>"Can you bring me home, Alice? Please?" FP begged quietly, his lips quivering just slightly.</p><p>"Anything you want." She promised him, immediately grabbing his hand for him to hold onto.</p><p>**</p><p>Back in the cabin, Alice wasn't sure how to be there for him. He had a worried frown on his forehead and he looked deep into thoughts when he walked inside. He absentmindedly hung up his jacket, his eyes zoned out.</p><p>"Do you want to talk?" She asked quietly, making him turn around and realize where he was. He was home.</p><p>"I don't know I—" FP started to stutter and bowed his head in defeat.</p><p>"It's the first time I've seen Archie." He confessed silently. Alice took a step into his direction as she looked at his brown eyes who were glossing over.</p><p>"His eyes... it were the exact same as Fred's." He let out a small chuckle and shook his head a little as if he couldn't believe that someone so close to Fred was walking around on this earth.</p><p>He had never dared to meet him for over eighteen years and now it happened so sudden. It was obvious that the boy was scared of FP as much as he was afraid to talk to him.</p><p>Even FP could see the irony of two people that were terrified to talk to one another, who at the same time were the answer to all of their questions. FP was Archie's key to his father's life as much as Archie was FP's key.</p><p>FP swallowed in an attempt to try to keep himself together, but failed miserably. He sniffed as the first set of tears streamed down over his cheeks. Alice's heart broke seeing him like this. She pulled him into her embrace that he immediately melted into, holding on to her for dear life.</p><p>"It's all there is left of him, Alice. A son. His son Archie." He sobbed quietly, his shoulders shocking as her hand stroking up and down his back.</p><p>"But I've been too much of a coward to meet him before." FP gritted bitterly, his self hate coming to the surface once again.</p><p>He had blamed himself for being too scared from the moment he had refused to move in with Mary. He could've been the father figure Archie deserved to grow up. with. He could have bonded with the boy and given him just a tiny part of what Fred would've given him if he would've been there.</p><p>He pulled back to look at her, and when she met the broken and guilty look in his eyes she wanted to be the one to take all his pain away.</p><p>"I know it hurts Mary. I am hurting the only person who stayed by my side throughout the years. Who made sure I stayed alive. But I couldn't even meet her son in return." He shook his head sadly, feeling more hopeless than ever.</p><p>He felt like had let down the only friend he had, the one who looked out for him when nobody else gave a damn.</p><p>"Hey... that's not your fault, you hear me?" Alice cupped his cheeks and softly stroked her thumbs over his cheeks.</p><p>"I am sure Mary understands." She added, not letting go off him before he'd look in her eyes and see that he wasn't the bad person he believed he was.</p><p>"I want to go to bed." He mumbled quietly. Alice let go of him so he could turn around, but when he didn't hear her follow him, he turned back to her.</p><p>"Aren't you coming?" FP asked insecurely, as he looked at her still standing at the same spot.</p><p>"I wasn't sure you wanted me to stay." Alice said quietly, afraid that if she would assume, she'd cross a boundary.</p><p>"I do. Please?" His eyes were begging her to be with him, to never leave. She walked over to him and tiptoed to press a lingering kiss on his lips.</p><p>"Can you hold me tonight?" He whispered, once his hands came to rest on her waist. He wanted to feel her arms around him tonight, to know that he was safe, to know that he was loved.</p><p>"I'll hold you." She promised with a soft smile.</p><p>**</p><p>FP had climbed under the sheets of his bed while Alice pulled on his sweater again. When she turned her head sideways she saw him shiver, even with his shirt on. Summer might be around the corner, at night it was still chilly in the woods-- and therefore in the cabin as well.</p><p>"You look cold... here is an extra blanket." She had grabbed a blanket out of the closet and spread it over him, making sure he wouldn't be shivering anymore.</p><p>Alice walked around the bed and climbed into the left side, snuggling under the sheets and the extra blanket as well.</p><p>"You'll warm me up, won't you?" FP smiled sweetly, cuddling up closer to her.</p><p>She giggled and wrapped her arms around his waist as his curled around her shoulders. With her head laying on his chest she could hear his heartbeat. It was calm again.</p><p>"Thank you, Alice. For being here. But mostly for not giving up on me." He suddenly whispered, tearing up the slightest bit.</p><p>FP wanted to tell her he loved her, that he had never loved someone this way before, but he couldn't. Not yet.</p><p>"I won't give up on you, FP." She promised him, intertwining their fingers.</p><p>"If I could kiss away your scars, I would." Alice pressed a gentle kiss over his heart and laid back her head again, feeling him press a kiss on top of her head.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"There'll be happiness after you<br/>But there was happiness because of you<br/>Both of these things can be true<br/>There is happiness"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Wish Upon A Shooting Star</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Love you to the moon and to Saturn<br/>Passed down like folk songs<br/>The love lasts so long."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"FP, where are we going?" Alice chuckled as she let him lead her through the woods, the sky above her bright and the full moon shining down on them. The only sound around them were some crickets and the small branches breaking under their feet.</p><p>"Trust me." He looked behind him with a smirk, his hand tightly in hers as he searched for the spot he wanted to take her to.</p><p>The woods were a second home to him and tonight he wanted to show its beauty to Alice. He was nervous, afraid that might not be enough, when that was all he wished for it to be.</p><p>"Are you kidnapping me?" She joked, still following him behind on this mysterious trip. He refused to tell her what his plans were for this bright night. It was something special, something he wanted to surprise her with.</p><p>"Kinda, yeah. But just for tonight." He teased, until he had found the tree that he had marked with his knife when he was a teenager.</p><p>It was the sign he had made when he was fifteen, to always find the place back where he had seen it for the very first time. FP had always been protective of places that felt like his own, his safe place to escape, but since Alice was becoming part of his world he felt ready to open up step by step.</p><p>They ended up at a small hill in the woods that was a little higher than the other parts, giving them enough space to sit down and look up at the sky. It was as if the woods had created an open space in the sky just for them to admire the beautiful stars. FP smiled shyly when he stopped in his tracks to show her what he had prepared for their evening together.</p><p>"What's all this?" Alice said softly, when she looked at the blanket spread out on the ground with a basket with food next to it. He had prepared it this afternoon, before she came to spend time with him at his cabin.</p><p>"They have predicted shooting stars tonight. I wanted to watch them with you." He said shyly, his cheeks flushing a little.</p><p>Though FP hadn't been around people for a long time, he was aware of how star gazing could be seen as something cheesy and for a moment he got scared that maybe it had been a ridiculous idea. But then he lifted his head up again to look at her and could read how touched she was by something so simple, yet so meaningful.</p><p>Alice's eyes started to sparkle in the moonlight. Nobody had ever done something so beautiful for her. FP gave her a sweet smile and sat down onto the blanket to settle just right to look up at the sky.</p><p>"Being romantic isn't really my strong suit, so I hope you like it." He said softly, gesturing for her to come sit down next to him. Alice cuddled close to his side, wanting nothing more than a night like this to last forever.</p><p>"It's perfect." She said sweetly, a happy smile curling on her lips.</p><p>He looked sideways to meet her eyes and grinned even brighter when he saw how she gazed at him with such a loving expression. FP loved the stars, but if he had to choose he'd rather looked at her all night. She was brighter than every star he had ever seen.</p><p>"Here, a blanket to keep you warm." FP grabbed his bag and curled the soft fabric around their legs, making sure they wouldn't be bothered by the cold. She wrapped it tightly around her and smiled to herself that he had thought about keeping them warm and cosy.</p><p>"It's been so long since I took the time to appreciate how beautiful our sky is." Alice confessed quietly, her eyes glued to the sparkling orbs, millions of miles away from them.</p><p>Her life had been so hectic for as long as she could remember, that she wasn't used to taking the time for the small things in life like a beautiful sunset, the sound of birds in the spring or a bright night sky. She never stood still, but tonight it felt like she could press pause for a little while. He was there to make sure that she would see the beauty of the world, even when she felt like it had disappeared.</p><p>"Isn't it crazy to think that we're part of something way bigger than ourselves?" FP thought out loud, one arm tightly wrapped around Alice and the other one softly stroking her thigh.</p><p>It scared him to think about how life as they know it could be over without a second warning. What if today would be their last day on Earth? How would he want to spend those last hours? And where would he end up if life would be taken from him? Did faith even exist or was it all just a series of events that reacted upon each other? And if faith<em> did</em> really exist, why did his life turn out like this?</p><p>He had been asking these questions for eighteen years, but he never got an answer. But to survive, he needed to keep hope that there was something more. FP had felt anger towards the universe ever since he was a teenager, but looking at the stars made him stay hopeful that maybe there was a bigger plan.</p><p>As they were staring away, the first shooting star appeared right before their eyes. Alice had never seen one in her life before but even though she had only known them in fairytales, it was as magical as they always said it was. The bulb shot through the sky and disappeared in just the matter of a few seconds and yet she couldn't believe she was seeing something so gorgeous.</p><p>"Did you see that one?" He eagerly gestured up at the sky. She giggled a little by the way he lightened up by seeing one of the many wonders of the universe.</p><p>"It's wonderful, isn't it?" He whispered, turning his head towards her, his nose nuzzling in her golden hair.</p><p>Alice cuddled up a little closer to him. Even when it might have been summer, it was always cold in the woods. He tightened the grip around her, wanting nothing more than to keep her warm.</p><p>This was perfect. He was holding the woman that he had fallen in love with and she looked even more like an angel in the shining moonlight. If this would be his last few hours on earth, he'd want nothing more than to spend it like this.</p><p>"Did you make a wish?" She beamed, teasing him a little.</p><p>It was all she new about shooting stars and seeing him this excited about the phenomenon, she thought he'd definitely believe in the tale of their luck. To her, it didn't matter if it was really true or not. It was comforting to think that maybe they did have a little control over their lives, by earning a wish.</p><p>"I did..." He said quietly, a smile tugging on his lips.</p><p>Maybe it was because it was his only hope for the universe to actually be fair, he needed for shooting stars to mean real good luck. He had always told himself that it was the way of justice, send by whoever ruled over their faiths.</p><p>FP knew that it couldn't be true, but the thought of bringing a wish out in the world and the chance of it becoming reality one day kept him hopeful.</p><p>"Tell me, what was it?" She asked curiously, being all ears to find out what his deepest wish was.</p><p>"If I tell you it won't come true." FP stated the obvious, laughing a little because of her eagerness. It was all part of the tale, but he needed to keep them to himself before he'd scare away for good. For this wish, he just needed to see if he was lucky enough for it to come true.</p><p>"That's just a superstition." She teased, bumping his shoulder a little with his own.</p><p>"Not taking my chances." He chuckled and squeezed her waist a little.</p><p>If only she knew that had wished for a life long together with her, for them to be each other's destiny.</p><p>"Do you know other legends about shooting stars?" She asked him softly, growing more curious the more orbs shot through the air.</p><p>Alice wasn't really superstitious but the longer she looked at the dark night sky being lighted up, she believed they were trying to tell her a story. She tried her hardest to read them and though that seemed impossible, she was already hypnotized by the way they made her feel. As if they were there especially for her.</p><p>"They say that stars who fall are actually souls who can finally ascend to heaven and find their peace. Other cultures think the opposite. They say it's a new child falling to earth, starting their life." FP told her, staring up at the sky with sparkling eyes.</p><p>"Almost as if one life ends and another one begins." He added in a whisper, smiling a little up to the stars.</p><p>To really believe that Fred was still there with him, he needed to have faith in the shining night sky and its light orbs being a sign that he was watching over them.</p><p>He wished nothing more than for the stars to be his best friend talking to him as if they were together every single time FP looked up at the sky. And though the thought of it was comforting, he wished that eighteen years ago, he would have made him stay in Riverdale more than anything.</p><p>
  <em>"Are you ready, Freddie boy?" FP grinned at his friend, as they were standing at his truck.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The two high school boys had definitely grown up, as they were both almost turning twenty-five, making this already their seventh mission together.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You bet, Jones." Fred beamed brightly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It had only been his plan to do one mission before going to college, but after finding out that working in the army wasn't just about fighting for the country, but about protecting people as well, he had fallen in love with the job.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If there was one thing in the world Fred Andrews fought for, it was justice. He had refused to be on the frontline, but helping out his brothers while getting his degree as a nurse was a dream he never knew he would have.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And who better to work alongside with than your best friend? This way FP could get a degree without having to go to college, and Fred managed to find out his real passion: taking care of people.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fred turned to Mary, who was smiling proudly at the duo. One more mission, and they'd be back for good. In Fred's words, he wanted to help the people close to him the same way he does at the front, by becoming a nurse at Riverdale General.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Six more months, baby and I'm all yours." Fred tugged his girlfriend closer and smiled like a fool as he kissed her. Mary giggled and looked up at him with twinkling eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Before you go, I need to tell you something." She nervously bit her bottom lip as she let her arms fall from his shoulders. Fred raised a curious eyebrow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm pregnant." She beamed excitedly, her hand coming to rest on her abdomen. Mary had found out this morning, almost if faith had made sure she could tell him before they'd take off.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Wait, seriously? We're having a baby?" Fred started to smile brightly, barely believing that they were blessed with such a beautiful gift from the universe.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But that means I'm going to miss almost your whole pregnancy..." He suddenly realized, his face falling. Six months away from his wife meant that he would only be at her last trimester.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"When you return we have three more months left. We'll soak up every second of it, okay?" Mary promised him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Deep down she wanted to ask him to stay and be with her, but she knew that Fred needed to fulfill this dream and get this degree. Her gut screamed to have her husband with her, but she pushed her own feelings aside to make sure Fred could finish what he had started. She was proud of him, a feeling that was stronger than anything else.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"God, I love you so much, Mary." He cupped her cheeks and kissed her passionately. "And our little one." Fred playfully pecked a quick kiss on her stomach, making her laugh. He was going to be the best father in the world, no doubt in her mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Guys, I'm so happy for you. Can't believe you are going to be parents!" FP pulled both of them closer after watching the couple in absolute awe.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He knew that no souls loved each other the way these two did and he couldn't think of anyone who'd be better to raise a kid than them. Fred had always talked about how he wanted to become a father one day and he was so happy that it was happening for him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Keep an eye on him for me, will you?" Mary teased, holding Fred close one more time before they would go away for six months, once again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I promise." FP chuckled, walking back towards the truck again. In that moment he had no idea that it was exactly that promise that would hunt him the next eighteen years.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fred took the opportunity to kiss his girlfriend one more time as he was floating on cloud nine and  lingered outside the truck, having trouble leaving her. When FP called his name, telling him that they really had to go he jumped into the passenger seat with beaming eyes. He was going to make the world a better place and do something his kid could be proud of.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>FP honked a few times after starting the engine and started to drive away, up to another, and their last, adventure. Fred had opened his window to hang out of it to keep looking at his girlfriend with a big goofy smile on his face, and waved at her until he couldn't see her anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mary waved back, her mind already drifting to the second he would return and be with her every single second until their wonderful baby would be born, not having a single idea that it would be the last time she'd ever see him.</em>
</p><p>"Don't you think that's comforting?" He asked softly as looked at her, trying to see her face.</p><p>What he didn't notice however, that his words touched her soul so much that a tear escaped out of her left eye. Alice had never known the tales behind the shooting stars and the symbolization they could have, but the more she knew the more she started to believe. She <em>needed</em> to believe. Her eyes were glued on the sky, trying to soak in the beauty for as long as she could.</p><p>"I do..." She said quietly, trying not to make it obvious that her throat had tightened. He pulled her a little closer, sensing that she might not be as okay she was trying to be.</p><p>"Fred loved the stars. Looking up the sky and seeing a shooting star makes me feel like he is right here." FP shared with her.</p><p>When they were in the army together, FP had always joked about how much Fred loved the night sky, mostly because he couldn't see himself what was so special about it. But instead of giving a playful comeback, Fred had always told him there would be a day he'd appreciate the beauty of it. And he was right.</p><p>"I'm sure he is." She said sweetly, turning her head away from the sky to look at the man that had stolen her heart.</p><p>Seeing him so in awe of the shooting stars and how it made him feel like he was with his brother again made her fall in love with him even harder. It was because of him that she dared to believe, even when her mind told her that it was impossible. Her heart needed it.</p><p>"Speaking of Fred... I've got something for you. From the both of us." FP said suddenly, unwrapping his arm for her to grab the bag that he brought. He handed her over a little gift that was badly wrapped.</p><p>Alice smiled up at him, a happy glow spreading through her bod. She slowly took away the wrapping, revealing a present that only FP could have given her. Her eyes started to water when she looked at the purple porcelain elephant with a Lily flower print on it.</p><p>A few years ago he had found an elephant trinket at the big Summer Fair flea market in Greendale, one of the only places he came if he wanted to go outside. He loved that he could walk around there without judgement, without feeling overwhelmed.</p><p>But that wasn't just all, he loved expanding his collection of elephants and really create a home. This one had been special. It had called to him, to create something that would mean something beautiful. For years, he didn't have a clue what to do with it—until Alice had showed him the Lily flower. He had painted the elephant especially for her.</p><p>"For in your home." He said softly, seeing the look of pure amazement in her eyes.</p><p>"FP, this is so sweet of you." Alice had never gotten such a personal and thoughtful gift from anyone in her life.</p><p>Not from a friend, and definitely not from her husband. It made her realize that maybe he was falling as hard for her as she was falling for him.</p><p>"Fred would have made you one if he was still here. He would have loved you." FP added sweetly.</p><p>The thought of the two people so close to his heart never meeting each other was soulshattering, but he felt peace in the idea that this way, he could still bring them together through the shooting stars and the small gift.</p><p>"Did you know that Elephants grief very deeply?" FP asked her softly, as he looked at the little trinket in her hands.</p><p>But Alice was somewhere else with her mind. Even a simple thing like a gift made her realize that he really cared for her. She had been there for him the last couple of months like nobody had done before, but now she was holding the evidence that he listened. He really <em>listened</em>. Not only to the story she told, but to what it actually meant. He knew the hurt behind her words.</p><p>Nobody had ever tried to understand her or was this considerate with her feelings. It was time that she opened up to him. He deserved to know all of her, even the parts that she found ugly.</p><p>"Hey, what is it?" He asked her worriedly as he saw her face drop into a sad frown. Absentmindedly, he had wrapped his arm around her again and let his fingers softly trace her side up and down.</p><p>"I've got something to show you." She said quietly, as she opened her jacket and grabbed a piece of paper.</p><p>Alice had been carrying it with her ever since Cheryl had shown her the article on the first night she arrived in town. Safely in the pocket of her jacket, where nobody could take it from her. She was going to show it to FP one day and it seemed that this moment right now was the right time. With shaking hands, she handed it over to him.</p><p>"A news paper?" FP frowned, not sure what he had to do with it.</p><p>"It's what they wrote about me, where I used to be mayor." She admitted quietly, afraid to look him into his eyes. FP carefully scanned the front page with his eyes and looked at the big bold title:</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Alice Smith: The Story of an Ice Queen.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>What followed was a lot of speculation about Alice's cold behavior and how she had made an unexpected turn after rumored stories about her marriage going downhill. That part wasn't a lie, but nobody had found out why she had been so distant and why her marriage imploded eventually. It showed an imagine of a cold woman who did not have any love nor empathy towards anyone, not even the man she was married to.</p><p>The article was filled with sympathy towards Hal—implying that he didn't deserve to be married to an Ice Queen. Alice dared to look at him with teary eyes as his eyes scanned the paper. However, she was unable to read what he was thinking.</p><p>"You're not like that, Alice." He said softly as he finished reading, placing the paper in his lap.</p><p>If there was someone who knew that stories weren't always what they seemed, it was FP Jones. He had gotten to know her as the warmest person he had ever met and reading this about her wasn't going to change how he felt. He knew better than to judge on rumors.</p><p>"I was, though. My husband and I went through something... traumatic. It changed me. Eventually, he left me." She said quietly, averting her gaze on him. Alice wished she felt brave enough to tell him the full story, to explain why she had turned into the cold woman the whole world thought she was. But she couldn't, no matter how hard she was trying to find the courage.</p><p>"I am so sorry." He whispered, pulling her as close as he could. He rested his forehead against the side of her head and pressed a soft kiss on her temple.</p><p>"But you're more than that part of your story. You're more than what people write or say about you." He whispered sweetly, pulling away her hair out of her face to be able to look at her.</p><p>Alice turned her head and gave him a warm smile, her eyes glistening with tears. She didn't think it was possible, but the more time she spend with him, the harder she was falling. He was perfect in every way. Sometimes she was afraid he wasn't even real.</p><p>She let her hand creep up to his face and stroke with her soft manicured hands over his stubble, before leaning in and brushing their lips together. FP made an attempt to deepen the kiss, until he heard some rustling in the bushes. Carefully, he broke apart from Alice and looked behind him.</p><p>"You hear that?" He whispered, looking back at Alice. Before she had the chance to listen, there was a low sound coming from the same place.</p><p>"It comes from over there," Alice pointed at the direction of the cries from whatever creature was hidden there and accepted FP's hand as he helped her stand up.</p><p>They walked over to the bushes behind the tree on their left side, trying to find what was asking for their help. FP took the torch he had brought with him and turned it on to find the source of the soft cries. Once his torch shone in the right place, they found out who was crying.</p><p>"It's a little kitten..." Alice said softly, seeing the small black furred cat lying on the cold forest ground, shivering as it tried to open its eyes.</p><p>"It's hurt... and I believe it hasn't eaten for a while, look how tiny it is." FP bended through his knees to reach the level of the cat and carefully took it into his hands. It protested a little, but settled very quickly as if it knew it was being saved.</p><p>"It must have been there for days, maybe weeks." Alice stared at the kitten in FP's arms, who was meowing softly, probably telling them that it was both hurting and hungry. They could almost see the ribs of the cat. How could someone leave a baby kitten in the forest?</p><p>"Let's take it back to the cabin." FP held the cat closely, making sure not to hurt it any further.</p><p>**</p><p>Once back at his home, he had grabbed an old towel to wrap the injured kitten in. It was still both shivering and crying, but with now being inside, warming up by the good care of FP and Alice, it was slowly starting to become better. The cat seemed to feel at home very quickly.</p><p>"Here, I warmed some milk." Alice turned from the kitchen to the couch, where FP was examining the little cat.</p><p>"I'm no veterinarian, but it looks like she hasn't broken anything. Only a few wounds that will heal over time." He took the little bowl with milk and held it on the level of the kitten, making sure she could drink as much as she needed. She eagerly accepted it.</p><p>"I'll chop some of the ham I've got in tiny little pieces, maybe she'll eat that." FP handed her to Alice, who immediately coddled her into her arms. The cries slowly turned into content purrs as Alice's index finger stroked over the soft fur.</p><p>"She's so soft..." She whispered, looking down at the baby animal. Fortunately they had found her, thinking of what would have happened if they didn't made her stomach twist.</p><p>"Are you going to bring her to a shelter? Maybe they can nurse her back to health." Alice turned her head towards the kitchen where FP just finished making something for her to eat.</p><p>"No, I can take care of her." He said softly as he sat down next to Alice and carefully fed the kitten. She had a little bit more difficulty swallowing the food compared to the milk, but the hunger won it from her pain.</p><p>After finishing a few pieces of the ham, she tried to make her way towards FP, which sadly she couldn't without help. The cat cried in her attempt to crawl away. Alice took the hint and carefully handed the towel with the kitten wrapped in it back to FP.</p><p>"You're good with her, how did you learn that?" Alice watched him in awe as she looked at how FP softly coddled her closely.</p><p>It was as if his instincts knew perfectly well what to do. She always had a feeling that he was very nurturing and caring towards any other living being, but seeing it up close made it even more special.</p><p>"Oh... well, Fred and I used to be nurses in the army. It was actually my way of getting a degree. We did that for seven years until he..." FP stuttered, his throat tightening at the memory.</p><p>Alice knew that she shouldn't ask further. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his middle and pressed a kiss on his bicep before focusing back on the little kitten.</p><p>"Look, she's already getting attached to you." She smiled, as she noticed how she was stroking her head against FP's palm. He chuckled sweetly. She was right, it looked like they had made an instant connection.</p><p>"Hey little girl. I'll nurse you back to health, is that alright with you?" He whispered sweetly, making Alice look at him in awe.</p><p>Every time there was another thing that made her see another side of him that made her heart beat faster, and the way he was looking at the kitten in his arms with such loving and care, was one of the things that made her love him more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Wait for the signal, and I'll meet you after dark<br/>Show me the places where the others gave you scars<br/>Now this is an open-shut case<br/>I guess I should'a known from the look on your face<br/>Every bait-and-switch was a work of art."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Cupcake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"But I'm a fire, and I'll keep your brittle heart warm<br/>If your cascade ocean wave blues come<br/>All these people think love's for show<br/>But I would die for you in secret."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a little bit colder than usual on a late July day when Alice entered Pop's diner. Though the sun was shining bright, the little breeze had made her put on a jacket, to keep herself warm enough. Alice had woken up with a smile on her face, knowing that it was a special day.</p><p>Nothing, not even a cold breeze on a summer day could ruin her mood. The bell above her head ringed and she walked over to the counter, where the raven haired girl that owned the place was watching her.</p><p>Even when Alice knew that Cheryl might have changed her mind about her after their meeting in the park, it was clear that Veronica was still as suspicious as before. No wonder, as the daughter of Hiram Lodge, Alice thought.</p><p>However, she wasn't going to be intimidated by a teenage girl, certainly not by one who was related to the man that had turned into an enemy.</p><p>"Madam Mayor, what brings you here?" Veronica showed a warm but slightly fake smile as she welcomed her.</p><p>She had become a little bit nicer compared to the coldness she had shown upon Alice's first night in town, but her eyes betrayed that she was still keeping an eye on her to catch any dirt that might put her in a bad light. Alice knew to be careful with her words.</p><p>"Can't I order something in the town's most famous diner?" Alice raised her eyebrow with a quirky smile, ready to challenge Veronica if she was going into a full attack. But Veronica wasn't out to provoke her today, surprisingly enough.</p><p>"Well, you can. What may it be?" She grabbed her notepad, ready to scribble down her order.</p><p>"Two Chocolate Brownie cupcakes, please." Alice gestured to the ones through the glass in the counter.</p><p>"Special occasion?" Veronica asked curiously as she took the requested cupcakes before looking for a small bag to put them in.</p><p>She knew nothing about Alice's home situation, so getting her two cupcakes instead of one was intriguing enough for her to try and fish for some information.</p><p>"Indeed. Add a small candle for me, if you wouldn't mind." Alice gave the girl a smile and reached for her wallet in her purse.</p><p>"Who's birthday is it?" Not that Veronica really cared, but just like her father she always was a bit nosy.</p><p>It was part of growing up in a family with a lot of power. Finding out people's secrets to use them against someone was their speciality. Maybe, if she tried hard enough, she'd find out more about Alice that could come in handy.</p><p>"That's my business, Miss Lodge." Alice said simply, giving her a halfheartedly smile.</p><p>She knew better than to share her whereabouts with people who had a double agenda, which she suspected when it came to Veronica's faux kindness.</p><p>Veronica decided to stay quiet. If she was being so secretive about it, then she had probably something to hide, which only made her even more curious. Though, it seemed that asking her straight away wasn't going to work. She needed to be more discreet to find out more about the mayor's life.</p><p>"Here you go. Have a nice day." She placed the small bag on the counter and accepted Alice's bills.</p><p>Alice gleefully took her order and turned around with a happy smile on her face, ready to leave to the cabin. Veronica watched her until she had left out of the door, just as an idea popped up in her head.</p><p>When Alice left Pop's diner she reached for her car keys in her purse in order to drive off to the border of the town, but a voice behind her caught her attention.</p><p>"Mayor Smith," The man behind her already had a smug smile on his face, one Alice couldn't see but impossible not to hear. She froze right there and then and exhaled deeply. By now, she had gotten to know that voice <em>very</em> well.</p><p>"Mr. Lodge. How can I help you?" She tried to give him a smile, but anyone could've seen that she was pretending. If she hadn't been mayor, she would have straight up ignored him.</p><p>"I was wondering if you changed your mind already, about going to dinner with me." Hiram smiled cockily and took a few steps into her direction.</p><p>As always, he was dressed in a suit that was more expensive than most people's cars but no matter how fancy he looked, she wanted to slap that smile off his face. This man couldn't take  no for an answer.</p><p>"How many times do I have to make myself clear? I am not interested." She said firmly, turning on her heel in an attempt to reach her car.</p><p>"What, aren't you single? What the hell is your problem?" Hiram was starting to grow frustrated, as she wouldn't budge for his attempts to get into her inner circle.</p><p>He wasn't used to rejection and it certainly wasn't appreciated. Alice turned around back to him with a scowl on her face telling him exactly how she was feeling about him approaching her once again.</p><p>"My love life is none of your business, Mr. Lodge. I'm getting tired of this compelling behavior. I am asking you, nicely, to respect my wishes." Alice said sternly, a hint of fire in her eyes. If she had to, she wasn't afraid to use self defense.</p><p>"You really are a cold bitch like they wrote, aren't you? No wonder people are sick of you everywhere you go." Hiram spat out bitterly, accepting his defeat but not without hurting her where it stung most.</p><p>He turned around to walk into Pop's, leaving Alice frozen to the ground with tears stinging in her eyes and a shiver over her spine. What if he was right? What if people in this town would get tired of her, too? Would she always be on the run?</p><p>**</p><p>Her ride towards the cabin certainly calmed her down, but still she couldn't wait to look into FP's soft brown eyes, who always showed her the sweet innocence and goodness that sometimes she was afraid had vanished in mankind.</p><p>With the paper take-out bag in her hand she walked up the small hill. Alice softly knocked on the wooden cabin door before letting herself in, peeking her head inside. FP looked up from his painting and put his brush back into the little glass of water that he used for them to stay moist.</p><p>"Hey, you." Alice chirped happily as she walked inside and closed the door behind her.</p><p>Her eyes met his and she could see the sweet twinkle in his brown orbs. The memory of Hiram immediately faded away. She wasn't sure how he did it, but the way her heart had clenched when she had heard Hiram's words suddenly vanished when she was around him. All was well again.</p><p>"Good morning. What brings you here so early?" He walked over to her and planted a soft kiss on her lips.</p><p>Alice smiled. It didn't happen often that he took initiative, but the more time they were spending together the more natural it became for him to be affectionate. She was sure he didn't even notice how comfortable he was getting around her, but for her it was enough to know that she had this effect on him. Things were changing for the better, for both of them.</p><p>"I've got something for you." She placed the little take out bag on his small wooden dining table and took the cupcakes out of it.</p><p>The candle went into the biggest one and with the matches that she had taken with her, she lighted it. When she turned around she handed it over to him with a big smile.</p><p>"How did you...?" FP asked confused, a smirk curling on his lips. He didn't remember ever telling her about his birthday, not because it was a secret but mostly because he didn't think it was worth celebrating.</p><p>"Mary told me." Alice said, grinning a little.</p><p>Last week at dinner Mary had let it slip without a second thought and Alice just knew she couldn't let a day like this go by without spending time together. She hoped he would appreciate the thought, even though it was something small.</p><p>"Blow out your candle and make a wish." She grinned, taking her own cupcake as well.</p><p>FP shook his head in amusement and couldn't fight it to laugh at her enthusiasm. It was very sweet of her to even think she had to do something special for him. He blew out the candle and opened his eyes again, seeing how her eyes were sparkling with happiness.</p><p>"You didn't have to do this." He said softly, wrapping one arm around her waist.</p><p>"But I appreciate it." He added with a sweet smile on his face.</p><p>For the last eighteen years, he couldn't remember ever celebrating with someone. He had always told Mary that he didn't want to pay any attention to his birthday and she had always respected his wishes, besides bringing him a cake every single year. This year wouldn't have been any different if she hadn't shown up on his doorstep.</p><p>"What do you normally do on your birthday?" She asked him, curiously. Since it was a weekend day, she had enough time to spend with him and really do anything that would make him happy.</p><p>"Nothing much... I don't really celebrate it." He told her honestly. However, he had been planning to go out this week, so why not today? It'd be nice to be somewhere else than the cabin or her home to be together.</p><p>"Though, I'd love to go to the flea market of the Summer Fair in Greendale today, if you would like to join me?" He said sweetly, smiling down at her. It was one of the places he went to outside of the woods and he would love for her to see why he was so crazy about it.</p><p>"More than anything." She smiled sweetly and cupped his face to brush a soft kiss on his lips, letting both of them melt into it.</p><p>**</p><p>Once FP had taken Alice to Greendale on his bike (he had dared to jump on it again, even after his accident, making him a more careful driver now) they made their way towards the fair, hands intertwined with one another.</p><p>Despite the whole area of the Sweetwater Triangle being totally new for Alice this wasn't her first visit to the spooky little town that was actually a lot warmer than she had expected. The first time she had been here was to talk with the Mayor about the Jingle Jangle case in their town, but it had been so snowy that she hadn't seen a thing.</p><p>There was a ferris wheel, a shooting tent and tons of other fun activities for kids and teenagers to spend their time. Summer break was almost over, making a place like<em> The Greendale Summer Fair</em> perfect to spend their last days before going back to school.</p><p>Spread out over the park there were people with little booths, selling stuff they wanted to give a second life or their very own creations. Alice noticed someone who sold paintings, jewelry, and a few food trucks with licorice, cotton candy and one that sold fries and hamburgers.</p><p>"I never expected for this to be so big. Do you come here more often?" Alice looked around like a kid in a candy story.</p><p>She had never been one to go to fairs, or flea markets for that matter. But being here with him and seeing how he instantly lighted up made her the happiest woman in the world.</p><p>"Every year. Lots of the trinkets from my home come from this place." He smiled, squeezing her hand a little tighter.</p><p>Though FP wasn't one to go outside very often, Greendale was the town nearby that he could go to without being looked at as she strange man out of the woods. It felt good not to feel like a living creature from a campfire story. The crowds of people could be overwhelming, but he loved the Summer Fair too much to not take a look.</p><p>"Well, show me around." She chuckled a little when she saw the happy sparkle in his eyes, taking her into the field on his way to where he always stopped by, every single time, every single year.</p><p>"There is my favorite booth. They make a lot of the stuff themselves." He gestured at the small stand they were walking towards, a seemingly sweet woman standing behind it. She smiled instantly when she saw the couple walking her way.</p><p>"You're here again, my dear. It's good to see you." The woman beamed happily, wanting to hug FP tightly. They only saw each other once a year, but still had a silent promise between one and another to always stop by if they were around.</p><p>"It's good to see you too, Hilda." FP smiled sweetly.</p><p>He admired how she was always this positive ray of light, especially when he had always felt like his energy was closer to that of nighttime and darkness. Maybe it was because they were opposites, that they appreciated each other.</p><p>"Who's the beautiful lady you've brought?" Hilda's eyes shifted towards Alice, her smile not fading but even growing bigger.</p><p>She was so used to FP being alone with a sad spark in his eyes that never seemed to disappear, but this time things were different. He was smiling, he looked happier than ever.</p><p>"This is Alice, my..." FP's words got stuck in his throat as he was hit by the fact that he wasn't sure what to call his relationship with Alice.</p><p>Were they even together? He was too afraid to ask, scared that she might not feel the same way. Alice's cheeks blushed, nervous to see if he would finish his sentence. She wasn't sure what to call this between them either.</p><p>She knew she loved him and they were certainly more than friends, but was this for real? Was FP in love with her, too? Did he want to take that leap? Fortunately, before FP or Alice could make an attempt to escape out of the awkward situation, Hilda saved them.</p><p>"I see. Well, it's lovely you to meet you, Alice." Hilda said politely, nodding at the woman. Alice smiled back, thanking her for being so welcoming.</p><p>Compared to all the people that had greeted her upon meeting her for the first time, nobody had been as warm and nonjudgemental as Hilda had been.</p><p>"I've made something for you, sweetheart." She told FP, and bended down a little to pick something up that she had hidden from all the other trinkets and art that she sold.</p><p>"What do you think?" Carefully, she handed him a golden painted elephant that she had made out of porcelain. Fred's name was carved into it.</p><p>"Another masterpiece, Hilda." FP said genuinely, tearing up at the sight of the beautiful work she had made.</p><p>As an artist, he was still so in awe of how she always knew how to make something that touched his soul. Her work was truly unique and completely designed for whoever it was meant for.</p><p>"Let me buy that for you, as a present for your birthday." Alice said sweetly, reaching for her purse without waiting for an answer. She could see how much he loved it and since she hadn't gotten him anything yet, this would be perfect.</p><p>"Alice..." FP tried to protest as he never had been one to feel really comfortable accepting gifts. He didn't want her to feel forced to get him anything, when she had given him the greatest gift he could have ever wished for ever since their first meeting.</p><p>"Please?" She asked him, softly.</p><p>"Oh sweetheart, don't worry about it. It's  a gift." Hilda said, as she understood that Alice wanted to pay for the elephant she had made especially for FP.</p><p>She wasn't here to make a profit on her art, she truly cared about giving it to people who had a true connection with her work. To Hilda, that was all that mattered.</p><p>"I insist. This is your art. Artists should be rewarded for that. I really want to pay for what you've made." Alice gave her a warm smile, to convince Hilda that she deserved to be paid for the special gift she had given FP. Her modesty suited her, but Alice was convinced that the heart and soul that she putted into her work shouldn't be taken for granted.</p><p>"Keep her around very closely, Forsythe." Hilda smiled sweetly at FP, who looked at Alice in awe. Every time he thought it was impossible, she turned out to be even a more wonderful person than she already was.</p><p>"I will, Hilda. I promise." FP pulled Alice close to his body, his hand landing on her waist to softly stroke up and down.</p><p>"I'd love to hear it when you sell your artwork again. You know I'm your biggest fan." Hilda turned her attention towards FP again.</p><p>She was the only one he gave one of his paintings, every now and then. In general, he was way too insecure to ever show somebody his work. It was only because of the bond as artists they had created that he had dared to give away his work. The appreciation he had for her was always returned.</p><p>"I'll definitely let you know. Thank you." He gave her a grateful nod before taking Alice's hand in his to show her the rest of the Summer Fair.</p><p>"What a sweet woman." Alice smiled. Since she had been welcomed so coldly but everyone else, this was a nice change.</p><p>"Her family is a little eccentric... but they're good people." FP smiled as well. If there was one thing he had learned in this life, it was to never judge a book on its cover.</p><p>"Thank you, for taking me here." Alice said softly as she squeezed his hand a little. It was a big step for FP to invite someone in a place that was so precious to him for so long, but he couldn't think of bringing anybody else but her to the Fair.</p><p>"My pleasure." He said sweetly, tugging her close to plant a kiss on her soft rose colored lips.</p><p>Since they were in a town that wasn't theirs, they had missed to see a raven haired girl who had followed him all the way to Greendale, capturing their every move with the camera around her neck, including the romantic kiss between the lovebirds. They were blissfully unaware of the dark cloud above their heads, but for how long?</p><p>**</p><p>A few hours later, Veronica stormed inside Pop's, making Cheryl look up in bewilderment from behind the counter.</p><p>"Cheryl! You won't believe what I just found out." Veronica started to grin mischievously and made her way towards her girlfriend.</p><p>She turned on the camera and scrolled through the picture she had been looking for, showing FP and Alice sharing a loving moment.</p><p>"Mayor Smith is sneaking around with FP Jones. I spotted them in Greendale." The girl beamed brightly, proud of what she had found. Her Dad had been so content with the news she had brought him, that it had felt good to be a Lodge again.</p><p>"How did you get these?" Cheryl's eyes grew wide as she looked at the evidence of the possible relationship between Alice and FP. Maybe that is what Alice had meant when she had spoken about her own secret. One thing was for sure, Cheryl knew that this meant trouble.</p><p>However, Veronica was completely oblivious to the disapproving look on her girlfriend's face and enthusiastically kept talking about the secret that she was about to expose.</p><p>"I made them. Daddy asked me to shadow them for a new scoop in the Register." She explained, the proud grin only growing wider.</p><p>Veronica hadn't been real close with her father lately, matters getting worse after he lost the election from a woman who wasn't even from here. He had been furious, but she didn't have any idea how to be there for him.</p><p>Maybe she hadn't campaigned enough or should have looked into the possible threat that Alice could be instead of underestimating the hate towards the Lodge family in town.</p><p>She had wanted to make amends with her father, and it seemed that their connection had improved the second she had shown him the picture for the front page. It was the perfect way to regain the power that he had lost.</p><p>"This is gold don't you think? We've got her, if we want." Veronica said smugly, the characteristics from her father shining through.</p><p>"You can't possibly publish this." Cheryl said firmly, letting her know that she didn't support this plan. Veronica grew confused.</p><p>She always believed they were on the same page and it had been clear that Cheryl wasn't a big fan of Alice either, what had changed?</p><p>"Why not? Don't you think it's odd that the mayor is off in Greendale kissing the man that might have to do something with Jingle Jangle?" Veronica raised her eyebrow a little annoyed, not understanding why Cheryl was acting so difficult.</p><p>Sure, the picture was mostly to get under Alice's skin, but maybe this was bigger than any of them realized. Maybe they could figure out if FP was the one supplying Jingle Jangle to teenagers in town.</p><p>"It's none of our business, Veronica." She stated, before averting her gaze and continuing to place some fresh baked muffins behind the glass counter.</p><p>"Alright, what is happening? You are the queen of gossip Cheryl. Why are you protecting either of them?" Veronica crossed her arms and demanded for Cheryl to look at her again.</p><p>She always sensed immediately when something was off, just like was happening right now. There was something her girlfriend wasn't telling her and Veronica wouldn't leave until she would get any answers. Cheryl sighed deeply and faced her defeat.</p><p>"Mayor Smith isn't as bad as I thought she'd be." She said quietly, not wanting to get into details. Besides, wasn't her statement alone enough? It shouldn't matter who the mayor is dating.</p><p>"I don't want you to publish this, alright?" Cheryl stated firmly, telling her that it wasn't open for discussion. But Veronica wasn't giving up that easily.</p><p>"Or what?" She shot back, eying her dangerously.</p><p>Cheryl's eyes spit fire, ready to get into this fight in full attack, but realized that if she would, the picture would get published nonetheless.</p><p>If she wanted to protect Alice, she needed to go for a different approach, no matter how annoyed she was getting with Veronica. She had to be honest for her girlfriend to understand her motifs for not wanting this picture to be leaked.</p><p>"Alice knows about us." She mumbled quietly, her cheeks flushing a deep shade of red that almost matched her lipstick.</p><p>"Wait, what?" Veronica's expression immediately changed into one that was way softer than before.</p><p>If someone knew how protective Cheryl was about their secret relationship, then it was her. If she had told Alice, that meant something serious.</p><p>"She found me in Pickens Park after the fight with my mother... I told her the truth." Cheryl said honestly, tears stinging eyes thinking back to that particular morning.</p><p>Though there were moments were she doubted if she had made the right choice, she believed that Alice had been genuine and wouldn't tell a living soul without her permission.</p><p>"Why would you do that? Who says you can trust her?" Veronica understood that Cheryl had been upset, but telling Alice? That was going a bit too far. This secret couldn't come out, not if Cheryl wanted to have a roof above her head. But Veronica's concern wasn't received well by Cheryl.</p><p>"Did you ever think about how there isn't anyone in my life who I can go to? I don't have supportive parents like you do, Veronica. Not all of us are that lucky. I needed someone. She was there. She listened." Cheryl's voice raised slightly as a few tears escaped out of the corner of her eye and streamed down to her chin.</p><p>Veronica softened. She was right. With her parents being very open and supportive ever since she came out as bisexual, things hadn't changed in their relationship while Cheryl's mother had been very clear about her disgust towards her daughter coming out as a lesbian.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way." She tightly hugged her girl, pulling her as close as humanly possible as Cheryl's shoulders softly shocked.</p><p>This was bigger than Alice, or her father. This was about being there for her girlfriend and understanding that she needed someone. After a little while of letting her cry it out on her shoulder, Veronica pulled back a little and cupped her face.</p><p>"I love you, Cheryl. You know that, right? I am just afraid that you might confide in the wrong people." She said softly, stroking her thumbs over her wet cheeks. All Veronica was worried about was that Alice had now power of her that she could use to her advantage, the same way she had with her picture.</p><p>"Alice isn't like that. We can trust her. I promise you." Cheryl said quietly, a small smile on her face. She had seen the look in Alice's eyes after the revelation of her secret and had a very strong feeling that things would be okay.</p><p>"Alright, I believe you." Veronica pecked a kiss on her lips, making Cheryl smile again.</p><p>"However, there is one little problem..." She said carefully as she realized she had made a very big mistake by giving the picture to her father.</p><p>"Daddy already made the prints for tomorrow's newspaper with my picture on the front page." She said frowning worriedly. Cheryl's eyes grew wide, knowing that this would hurt Alice. How could they ever make up for this to her?</p><p>**</p><p>At the border of Riverdale, FP and Alice crawled under the warm sheets of his bed, snuggling up close to one another. They had spent the most perfect day together and ending it in each other's arms was the cherry on top.</p><p>The couple had no idea of the picture crisis back in Pop's and didn't have a clue of the <em>Riverdale Register</em> that would be delivered tomorrow morning with their faces on the front page. For a little while, they still had their little cloud of bliss.</p><p>"How is your little kitten doing?" Alice asked him, as she traced his chest through the fabric of his grey t-shirt.</p><p>"It's Suzie now. I called her Suzie." FP said, smiling softly. Alice raised her eyebrow, a hint of a smirk on her lips.</p><p>"As in Susanna." He grinned, kissing her cheek as he chuckled. Ever since she had told him her middle name at breakfast one time, he thought the name perfectly fitted to his new pet. Besides, teasing her was just too much fun not to.</p><p>"That's a cute name." Alice laughed and snuggled up closer to him. Though she knew he was just teasing, she found it cute that he named his cat after her.</p><p>"The vet has given her stitches, but she's doing great." He told her, a sweet smile on his face.</p><p>Nursing her back to health had been something he really loved to do. It made him realize why had fallen in love with the nurse program in the army in the first place. When he and Fred started, he had never expected to like it, he just did it to get a degree. But soon, it had turned out to be a passion. And though he wasn't taking care of people, seeing that Suzie was improving under his care made him really proud.</p><p>As if she knew they were talking about her, she jumped from her blanket onto the bed and made her way over to FP, immediately pushing her tiny head against his palm.</p><p>"You see? She loves to cuddle." He smiled, taking the little cat in his arms to place her on his chest.</p><p>"Last night she came to lay next to me when it started to rain." He told her.</p><p>Even when there had been no thunder, Suzie had seemed to sense that he wasn't feeling comfortable. The sound of the rain on top of his roof always made an echoing sound. She had woken up, jumped on the bed and crawled next to him as close as she could and licked his knuckles, trying to make him feel better.</p><p>"So, I hear I have competition?" Alice teased with a smirk on her face, one of her hands softly stroking Suzie's fur.</p><p>"Maybe a little." He teased her back, grinning at her.</p><p>"She likes you. As do I." FP looked down at the cat who was purring contently under Alice's touch. She pressed a soft kiss on his cheek.</p><p>"Did you have a nice birthday?" She asked him, her eyes sparkling.</p><p>"The best one in years. Thank you." He leant in to kiss her softly, feeling the happiest man on this earth as long as she was with him. For now, everything was well.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"When I dropped my sword<br/>I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door<br/>And we live in peace<br/>But if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Surrender To Old Ghosts and A New Future</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Now I breathe flames each time I talk<br/>My cannons all firin' at your yacht<br/>They say, "Move on", but you know I won't."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tom Keller was on another one of his visits at the mayor's office to talk over the Jingle Jangle case, but frustratedly enough once again he had nothing to report to Alice. The longer they tried to find the dealer, the more difficult it seemed to have become. Maybe it was time to give up and wait until they would make a sloppy mistake.</p><p>"So, it's a dead end." Alice concluded, after listening to every scenario they had tried out, all of them failing miserably.</p><p>"Whoever is selling this drug is very good at wiping their tracks. Almost as if they vanish after they are done." Tom exhaled deeply and rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands.</p><p>He had been having a lot of sleepless nights. Even the hours of overwork hadn't done the job. It was the first case that made him feel like he was failing the town that he had sworn to protect.</p><p>"Nobody is willing to sell out their dealer? Not even for money or police protection?" Alice asked, willing to give him budget out of the city's funding to make this possible. People would go to the ends of the earth for both things.</p><p>"They would, if they had a name." Tom sighed frustratedly. It was the missing piece in the case. If they had one name, only one, they could find a new lead. But nothing. Not a single thing.</p><p>Before Alice could even think of another solution that could help getting people to talk, someone knocked on her office door. Alice told them to come in, curious to find out who was on the other side. It was attorney McCoy, her advisor in all legal cases that involved the city. She had an odd expression on her face that she couldn't quite read.</p><p>"This morning's newspaper arrived... I think you might want to see this." Sierra placed what she was referring to on her desk, revealing the front page.</p><p>"What is..." Alice couldn't even finish her sentence as soon as she was looking straight at a full colored picture of her and FP kissing at the Greendale Summer Fair.</p><p>Alice felt the blood disappear out of her face. Who had followed them there? And why did they take a picture? Suddenly, she remembered who owned the town's paper. Hiram Lodge. Had he done this to her as revenge for rejecting him? Was he trying to paint them in a bad light to ruin her credibility as a mayor?</p><p>"Are you alright, Alice?" Tom asked her, worriedly. He had seen the picture this morning, but hadn't expected for it to be a big deal.</p><p>"Yeah... I am." She said quietly, her eyes still glued on the picture. They looked so happy, so carefree. Alice had never seen herself looking like that to somebody.</p><p>It had been some time since people had last written about her and though it triggered her fight or flight response, she couldn't help but feel that this time things were different. This wasn't a story she wanted to hide.</p><p>Her first impulse  was to rip the paper to shreds, like she had done before with every single article that involved her name, but with this one she couldn't. Not when she realized that she didn't care if people knew about her and FP. Maybe she could have control this time.</p><p>This didn't have to be a nightmare. It could be a daydream. She smiled a little to herself, her eyes glued on the picture when Sierra's voice snapped her out of her happy trail of thoughts.</p><p>"Mayor Smith, even when I am of opinion that what one does in their free time is their own business, gossip is spreading fast. I think it's best if you make a statement about these pictures." She advised her, a sympathetic smile on her face.</p><p>As a woman, she knew what stories like these could do and hoped that Alice had words ready to make sure nobody could ruin her career. Alice nodded slowly. She knew Sierra was right. This time, she needed to have power over the stories being spread about her. But what was she going to say? How was she going to tell FP about the picture without him running away from her?</p><p>**</p><p>All day, she had wondered how she could break the news to FP about their picture being spread all over town, but her mind was one big empty space. Though she had realized that she was okay with everyone knowing about them, she couldn't be sure that the same thing went for him.</p><p>FP was different. He preferred his own little bubble. He never shared things with the world, and she wondered if she'd ever be enough for him to show off proudly.</p><p>If she didn't do this right, things could change for good between them. She could lose him, if she made one wrong move. So, instead of stopping by that afternoon like she had planned, she had been too scared. She had gone off to bed early, hoping to find the answer when she'd wake up. But things were never that simple for Alice.</p><p>And though the picture of her and FP had been on her mind just before she fell asleep at three in the morning, it were her deepest and darkest demons who were back to haunt after.</p><p>The last time people wrote about her life, things had changed for good. She would never be the same again. It had been her worst nightmare, one that kept on chasing her no matter how hard she tried to pretend they didn't hurt her anymore. She had tried to run, but they would always catch up no matter how fast she went. Not even in her dreams, they left her alone.</p><p>
  <em>Alice clutched her hands to her abdomen, feeling contractions taking over every nerve in her body. It hurt like it had never done before and she knew that something was hanging above her head like a dark cloud.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A mother's instinct is always right, they say. Only this time, Alice prayed that she was wrong. That all she had been afraid of the last six months wouldn't come true, that this time they had the right Gods on their side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But then she felt herself collapse, and the bloodstains on her sweatpants were telltale sign she hoped she never had to face. She gripped the bathroom sink in a desperate attempt to hold onto something, as her eyes filled with tears as she realized what the pain meant. This wasn't false labor, this was real.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After trying to build her child a home for six months, she was still about to lose the battle, no matter how hard she would scream. And as another twinge of pain hit her, her soul shattered into a million pieces.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was cold, and goosebumps had spread all over her body. Hal had walked into the bathroom, following the sounds of her heart shattering cries. One look was enough. He knew they had lost.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The hospital lights were burning her eyes, but she tried everything to keep them open. The room was cold and impersonal and the blue gown she was wearing made her feel like she was just another number instead of a human being. She had had no idea how long she had been gone, but the empty feeling in her stomach made her feel like someone had taken away part of her soul. She had lost her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her hands hadn't left her stomach and they wouldn't for a long time. She hoped for a miracle, to find out that they had made it. However, the stitches on her stomach and the throbbing ache of the wound told her a story without words. The cloud had broken, and she was in the middle of a storm.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alice searched for the eyes of the doctor, no matter how hard she wanted to surrender to her sleep. She noticed a sad twinkle that told her everything. Her throat tightened, as she waited to hear those awful words.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Sorry, Mrs. Cooper... we couldn't save her. We've done everything we could." The woman spoke quietly, looking straight into Alice's blue orbs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What she saw was someone's soul being crushed, a twinkle of fire being burned out. Alice swallowed and dug her nails into her belly, </em>
  <em>ignoring the pain she was causing her just stitched up wound. She didn't want</em>
  <em> to believe that any of it was true. Her lip quivered and her sight became blurry from the tears she was trying to fight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It was a girl?" She asked almost inaudible, the sound of a mother's crushed heart hitting the doctor right into her own soul.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You had a girl." She confirmed and offered Alice a hand, to squeeze it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If she had to power, she would have brought her baby back to her mother, but no matter how hard she prayed, nobody had the power to bring the dead back to life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In the corner of her eyes, Alice saw her husband, standing there frozen without making an attempt to give her any kind of comfort. She tried to catch his eyes and when she did, all she saw was something dark, something in his eyes she hadn't noticed before. She almost didn't recognize him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alice opened her mouth to call for him, to beg him to hold her, but then her doctor sat down next to her on the bed. She took a breath, preparing to bring her the news that would change her life forever.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Alice, you need to listen to me carefully. What I am about to tell you isn't easy, but as your doctor I will be here to answer all of your questions you might have after, okay?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She needed for Alice to know that </em>
  <em>although</em>
  <em> her husband seemed to have turned into stone, she was going to be here. As a mother herself, her heart broke as she searched for the words she was about to tell her. Alice gave her a slight but confused nod.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It looks like that no matter how hard you try, your uterus will repel any fetus that tries to settle. I am afraid that it won't be possible for you to have a child of your own. It has been a wonder that your pregnancy got this far. I'm so sorry." She looked straight into Alice's eyes, telling her with one look that she wasn't alone and offered her other hand too, that her husband refused to give her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her voice was nothing more than an echo, as she heard the words that she had been so terrified of. Her daydream had turned into her biggest nightmare, one she couldn't escape from as soon as she woke up. This was reality. All her days would be dark. No more daylight, only darkness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A tear rolled down from the corner of her eyes down to her chin in the most slow pace as she accepted the support of the woman she barely knew. It felt painfully weird that a stranger could give more comfort than someone she'd known for over ten years, someone who should share her pain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>I'll</em>
  <em> give you two a moment." She let go of Alice's hand and turned around, shutting the door quietly behind her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alice tried to look at Hal, her eyes begging him to see her, to understand her pain. But he didn't meet her eyes. She wished he would hold her and tell her that things would be okay, to try to make her believe that one day, she'd find peace. But he didn't. He couldn't even get himself to look at her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>**</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her pillow was met with teardrops that had been falling ever since the moment she had been sent home. She wanted to be anywhere, but not home. Never home. Every corner, every small things reminded her of how there was supposed to be a little girl in the house. But there wasn't. Just emptiness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was no place left where she could grief the way she felt she needed and every single day Hal</em>
  <em>'s </em>
  <em>words were </em>
  <em>the reminder that she was weak, that maybe </em>
  <em>she </em>
  <em>deserved the punishment the universe had given her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Alice, when are you coming out of bed? It's been two months." Hal had gotten dressed for work and turned to his wife. Her back was turned to him, but he could hear her sniffles.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It triggered something in him, something infuriating. If he could let it go, why couldn't she? Alice stayed silent, as if she hadn't heard him at all. The more he ignored her pain, the more she would ignore his pleads to move on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But it never stayed that way. Alice had a strong will, but even her pain had its boundaries. She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't listen to his insulting comments, she couldn't see him moving on with his life like nothing had happened.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"How can you get up every day and not feel this pain, Hal? How can you?" She broke down as she tried to get out of bed, but failed miserably and fell down on the sheets again, her hands clutching the sides to keep herself up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For a second she thought to see his eyes soften by the sight of her completely shattered, but she had thought wrong. Though he lowered his voice, his words still cut like a knife through her heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Honey... It wasn't a real baby yet... You've got to let go." He bent in front of her and held onto her knees, his eyes so close to hers that for the first time in weeks she could actually really see him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It was our child. We lost our daughter. How can you say something like that?" Alice's voice cracked as she sobbed quietly, her nails digging violently into her thighs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He looked at how she was wounding herself, but didn't take her hands away. Instead, he met her eyes with a look she didn't quite understand. It was scaring her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We can never have kids, Hal. Doesn't that pain you?" She asked him quietly, hoping to reach something in him, to make him open up about the hurt that must be somewhere deeply rooted inside.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, Alice. You can't! I can!" He suddenly exclaimed, getting up from his position right in front of her and leaped away, his eyes spitting fire.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alice froze. Was this how he felt? Did he blame her for not being the one to give him any children? She stayed silent, the meaning of his words crystal clear in his eyes.</em>
  
  <em>The only thing left between them was the sound of her cries, as her shoulders shocked softly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>**</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Those words had changed everything. The following day, Alice had stood up, looked at herself in the mirror and wiped her tears. Time to move on. Time to let go. Time to reinvent herself. Back to pencil skirts and pastel blazers. She puckered her lips to put on the rosy pink lipstick and looked straight into her own eyes. Alice Cooper was back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In the blink of an eye, she had turned the broken woman that hadn't any energy left to get herself out of bed, to the woman who stirred the ship of the town that she had promised to lead. People were talking, but she pretended not to hear it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was after a few months, that the bomb bursted.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm sick of you never being home! Do you think what you're doing is healthy?" It was past midnight already. Hal had waited up for her, not because of worry, but to finally take his chance to tell her what he thought about her coping mechanism.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Once again, she had been overworking. Hal had watched her transformation with confusion, as her cries had suddenly stopped overnight and he was suddenly married to a woman he had never met before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had ignored his comment the way he had ignored her begs for love, for support, for something to hold onto. He hadn't done anything to stop her from drowning and she wasn't going to reward him by giving him what he needed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"This is getting out of hand, Alice." Hal tried once again, adding the harsh tone in his voice, hoping that it would wake her up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had always been sensitive for the way he talked to her. He always has had power of her in every aspect of their life, and feeling that slip away was something he wasn't going to let happen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But again, Alice gave him the silent treatment. So what if she was throwing herself into her work? It was the only thing that helped her distract from what was eating her alive. If you can't find the comfort you need in the arms of whom you once promised your life to, then you need to find another way. That is what she did.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hal slowly walked her way as she poured herself a glass of red wine, her back facing him. When she was about to turn around to make her way towards their bedroom, she felt two pairs of arms sneak around her waist.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She immediately leaped away and shot him an icy look, telling him to back off without words. Hal froze right there in front of her, slowly boiling with anger.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You won't even let me touch you!" He yelled loudly, raising his hand, but stopping himself just in time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A little while ago, Alice would have been scared. And maybe, she would have leaped away just in case he was about to hit her. But now? She wouldn't even care. He could hit her until he would pass out from exhaustion, she still wouldn't hurt the way she had been ever since that night she got into the hospital.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You've turned into an Ice Queen." He shot her bitterly, leaving to the bedroom as he averted his gaze from her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She followed him a little later, giving him no more than a look as she tried to search for something to sleep in.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"This isn't the woman I married. I want a divorce." Hal suddenly said. Alice stopped in her tracks. She turned around to face him, her expression blank. And though she had expected for those words to sting, she felt nothing. Just emptiness, again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I can't handle this, I can't handle you, for another day." He added, standing at the other side of the bed, parting them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I want nothing to do with you anymore." It were the last words he spoke to her before they split ways for good.</em>
</p><p>**</p><p>She had woken up around four in the morning, sweat all over body, hyperventilating as the flashes of her memories tormented her mind. Her hand desperately reached next to her, but the spot was empty.</p><p>She wasn't at the cabin. She was alone at home in her big empty bed. Alice clutched her hand in her shirt and inhaled deeply to calm herself, but knew she needed the one person that she trusted most in this life to hold onto.</p><p>Without dressing herself, she had made it to the edge of the woods, barely able to turn off her engine with trembling hands. Alice could feel her shoulders shocking and her cheeks getting wet as she stumbled on the small hill, as she braced herself for the cold.</p><p>She was brought here tonight, as if she had no control over her body, as if the universe was pushing her to end up at his cabin, begging for his help, for his comfort.</p><p>Alice rapidly knocked on the wooden door, afraid that FP didn't hear her. Her body was shaking and the longer it took for him to open up, the more she thought that he was still sound asleep. At the same time, her eye fell on the porcelain elephant that reminded her of the spare key. Though, before she could even think of reaching it, she heard someone fumble with the lock.</p><p>FP's eyes had to adjust to the dark, but slowly Alice's silhouette became clear for him to see, including her shallow breaths that he suddenly heard very intensely. His eyes grew wide as he saw how broken she looked, making him wake up instantly.</p><p>"Alice? What's wrong?" He said softly, trying to reach her with his arms.</p><p>With all that she had in her, she tried to answer, but she couldn't get out a single word. FP took the hint and immediately grabbed her hand to tug her his way.</p><p>"Hey, come here." His soft voice whispered as she fell into his embrace, holding on for dear life.</p><p>He had never seen her like this before, she had always looked so strong, so unbreakable. Nothing was less true. Her little cries shattered his heart, but he needed to keep it together and support her the way she'd always support him.</p><p>"I've got you, okay? I've got you." He said sweetly, pressing his nose in her hair to plant the faintest kiss there. Slowly, he felt the nails she had dug into his back lose their grip, leaving a bunch of crinkles in the cotton of his sleeping shirt.</p><p>"Do you want to talk?" He pulled her back a little to look at her, seeing pools of water on the surface of her eyes.</p><p>FP had a gut feeling that the reason she was so upset was because of the picture in the paper, something he had come to face this morning when he unexpectedly had one in his mailbox. But her eyes were telling him that it was more, something deeper inside her that was finally released and had taken over all her senses.</p><p>She tried to tell him something, but it seemed impossible. All she managed to get out where shallow breaths in her attempts to tell him the demons that had taken over her. FP could sense that he needed to give her some time and guided her to the couch.</p><p>He carefully sat her down before turning to the kitchen. For a brief second, the only sound filling his small wooden cabin was the sound of the tap filling a glass with water and Alice's little aftershocks of cries.</p><p>"Here, have some water." He sat down next to her and flicked on the tiny lamp next to them, creating a shimmer of warm light in the room.</p><p>Alice gratefully accepted the water and took a minuscule sip, just enough for her mouth to stop feeling like cotton. She felt her control over her body being returned and held onto the glass as her eyes looked for his.</p><p>"I want to tell you." She said quietly, her hand reaching for his. He intertwined their fingers without averting his gaze on her.</p><p>"I want to tell you what happened." Alice continued, her voice very low.</p><p>FP stayed silent, giving her all the time she needed to start telling her story the way she wanted. He wasn't going to rush her, if he had to he'd be up all night if that was what it would take.</p><p>She looked down at their hands, giving her the little tiny nudge of encouragement she needed. If their relationship was at a turning point, he needed to know all of her. Alice took a deep breath before revealing her deepest, darkest hurt.</p><p>"Two years ago... I lost my baby." She said painfully quiet, her voice cracking as she spoke.</p><p>Her lip quivered, but she bit the inside of her bottom one to stop herself from crying. FP's eyes had slowly started to grow wide as she revealed the secret that she had been carrying all by herself for far too long.</p><p>"Hal and I... we had trouble having kids. So, when it happened for us I was on cloud nine." She smiled slightly as she remembered the moment her eyes were met with the plus sign of her pregnancy test. It had been a miracle that eventually, had been taken away from her just as easily.</p><p>"But our luck wasn't for long... after six months we lost our child." She confessed silently, sniffing softly as she felt FP squeezing her hand.</p><p>He wished he knew how to give her comfort, but even when he knew firsthand how painful losing someone you love is, he had trouble doing the right thing. When she had told him about the divorce, he would have never thought this was the trauma underneath.</p><p>"After that... I couldn't get out of bed, at first. Hal didn't understand. We fought more and more and I started to throw myself into my work. It got out of hand." Alice continued, stating the events of her failed marriage and everything that had led up to that moment.</p><p>She knew how it sounded. Why would he understand that she had been so broken over a life that had never met the earth? FP's free hand came to rest upon their handhold, a sign to tell her that he was there and that he was listening, without wanting to interrupt her with questions that she might not be ready for.</p><p>"Pretending I didn't feel anything was easier than giving into the real pain I felt. That's when people started to think that I was a really cold person. They said I didn't care about losing my baby." She broke out in cries again, echoes of all the words they had said to her in her mind, not knowing how much they stung.</p><p>
  <em>"It's unprofessional to bring your private life into your work. You can't be distracted."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Have you seen the cold look in her eyes? No wonder that her husband wants to leave her."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you can work that much, then she probably doesn't care about her marriage. Weren't they trying for a family? She doesn't seem like a mother anyway."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Strange that she's suddenly back at work again. Maybe she just took a few weeks off for herself with her baby as an excuse."</em>
</p><p>"But I do, FP. I think about it every single day. When the doctor told me that I lost my baby and that I could never have another child again... part of me died." She held onto his shirt with her fist, clutching it tightly as he wrapped his arms around her, giving her the comfort the only way he knew how to.</p><p>"I had no idea..." He whispered silently, pushing her close as he shushed her.</p><p>FP swallowed his tears. How people could've been so cruel was beyond him. In almost the whole year that he had known her, he would have never guessed that she had been walking around with so much pain. If he had known, he would have tried to take it away from the very start.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Alice. I really am." He said softly before pressing a kiss on the top of her head as he pulled her as close as humanly possible. There were no right words to say, he just needed to hold her and show her that whenever she wished, he'd be here.</p><p>"I'm no Ice Queen, FP... I am not." She mumbled through her cries. FP softly pulled her back a little, needing to look her into her eyes after hearing those words.</p><p>"Hey, hey. I know you're not." He reassured her, one hand coming to tangle in her hair to softly stroke it in a calming motion. It seemed to work, as Alice closed her eyes and inhaled and exhaled deeply.</p><p>"I'm so sorry your husband wasn't there for you." He said quietly, a lump in his throat as he looked into her eyes, seeing something that had broken a long time ago. He just hadn't seen it before.</p><p>As someone who had unexpectedly fallen in love with her, he couldn't understand how anyone who had the privilege to share his life with Alice would treat her in such an awful way.</p><p>"I know how hard grief can be... but I'll be here if you want to talk about your baby, at any time. Okay?" FP promised her, his voice sweet and inviting.</p><p>He might not be able to fill the void of the one who would have been the father of her child, but maybe he could give her the listening ear she had so desperately missed. Alice smiled softly through her tears, feeling loved and supported by the one she loves for the very first time in her life.</p><p>"Have you ever talked with someone about your loss?" He asked her, trying to find out if she ever got the chance to really process what had happened to her.</p><p>"Have you?" She returned the question, her voice raspy from crying.</p><p>Alice knew the answer, which is why she asked him, too. FP stayed silent. It was easy to tell someone else to get help, when he had been avoiding it for years. He knew it would be good for him, but accepting it was way too difficult.</p><p>"Did you ever name your child?" FP pushed them back against the couch, again pulling a protective arm around her. If she wanted to talk about her baby, he'd be there to listen to it for as long as she wanted to.</p><p>"We didn't know what it was going to be, but I had a very strong feeling it was going to be a girl. When she got born... I turned out to be right." Alice smiled a little to herself.</p><p>There had been no doubt in her mind. From the very first start, it had been her mother's instinct that told her that she was getting a daughter. She wished she was here, with them.</p><p>"You remember the flower you saw in my bedroom?" She looked up at him, meeting his eyes. He gave her a small nod, recalling the first time he went to see her house. It had been framed above her bed.</p><p>"It's from the bouquet I got from the hospital. My doctor sent it to me. I decided to name her Lily, after the beautiful flower." She confessed, her cheeks flushing just the tiniest bit pink.</p><p>It had been the only card and flowers people had sent her. Nobody else had even blinked twice. Her parents had always been very practical and bad with emotions and the rest of the town simply didn't understand. Not even the people she used to call friends. The only gesture of comfort she had gotten were the beautiful Lily flowers.</p><p>"That's why you kept one..." FP remembered the flower very vividly. It had immediately caught his attention. As if it had been telling a story that he hadn't been able to read. He wondered if maybe next time he'd see it, he would feel the emotion in its essence.</p><p>Alice nodded slightly and rested her head back against his chest as she exhaled. FP's hand combed through her locks as he looked at the woman in his arms. He'd keep her safe for as long as he could. He knew that she has had her fair share of of pain, from now on he felt that he had the responsibility that she'd never feel like this ever again.</p><p>"Wherever she is now, Alice... she's not really gone. The shooting star you saw falling? That was Lily telling you that she's still with you." He said sweetly, pressing a kiss on her hairline.</p><p>Alice smiled to herself. It were one of the most beautiful words someone had ever said to her. Nobody had ever understood her pain, but FP did. He didn't think she was crazy to love someone who had never been born. He comforted her the best way he could, because he knew the aching pain of grief.</p><p>"We both have our guardian angels. She is yours." He added quietly as he held onto her as much as she held onto him.</p><p>**</p><p>The next morning, FP expected to roll over and be met with Alice's warm body, but to his surprise the spot next to him was empty. It was clear that she had gotten out of bed already. Her pillow was still warm, telling him that she hadn't woken up long before.</p><p>He rubbed his eyes and got out of bed, wanting to look for her and see if she was fine. Slowly, he opened the door and peeked into the living room, seeing her brewing fresh coffee.</p><p>"You are up early..." He said softly, making her turn around.</p><p>She smiled at him in a way that made him feel butterflies in his whole body. He loved to see that sweet sparkle in her eyes. Next to her on the small kitchen counter was the newspaper she had gotten yesterday morning. She wondered how he got one, since he didn't live at an official address. Her body tensed, realizing that the chance for her to be the one to tell him was taken away from her.</p><p>"The newspaper... you got it too?" She asked him a little insecure, her eyes falling to the full colored picture of them kissing.</p><p>Her heart was beating in her chest, afraid that he might be upset. FP had thought about it for a brief second when she had come to his place last night, until he found out that it wasn't the picture that had her sobbing on his doorstep. He wasn't sure what to think or what to do and most of all; he had no idea how she felt about it.</p><p>"I did. Someone brought it to me. It suddenly was in my mailbox yesterday morning." He told her, feeling a little uncomfortable.</p><p>First, he had a felt a feeling of panic taken over him, telling him to run away before his life would be taken over. But this wasn't just any story. This was about him and Alice. Their picture, it was real, it was honest. He didn't want to run from that, no matter how scary it might be.</p><p>"I want you to know that I have nothing to do with this. I had no idea." Alice defended, afraid that he would think that she would use him for publicity, when she truthfully was as taken aback as she thought he was.</p><p>"I know that. I trust you." He said softly, offering her a small but sweet smile.</p><p>Months ago, he would have been mad. Maybe he would have yelled at her, telling to leave and never come back. But time had passed and they had developed a natural bond of understanding and trust that he wouldn't be able to explain in words.</p><p>FP didn't have to doubt her intentions anymore. He knew they were good, he knew she wouldn't hurt him. Alice face softened as she heard those words leaving his mouth, her wall of defense crumbling down.</p><p>"At first, it scared me... nobody has been keeping an eye on me for over two decades and now I saw myself in front of a news paper for the very first time." He looked down at the picture, and pursed his lips.</p><p>He wasn't used to being the center of attention and though he knew that the picture was to target Alice, it felt unusual to see himself like this. It was different than the scary stories people told about him. Words would vanish eventually, a picture is forever.</p><p>"First I wanted to run and hide like I've always done. But I don't think that this is about the fears that it might cause me. You've been through this before. When I saw it... you were the one I was worried about." His voice was so soft, that it made Alice tear up. No matter the pain that this could have caused him, she was the one he was thinking about.</p><p>"Didn't this picture of us lead to you at my door? I don't want to be the reason you're upset." He swallowed, his fear of being the one to ruin her life in Riverdale taking over.</p><p>From the start FP had been afraid that eventually, he would drag her down in the crazy myth of <em>the man who never speaks</em>, to make people think she was just as crazy as they thought he was by being with him.</p><p>"It did. But that's not on you, FP." She said softly, giving him a warm smile.</p><p>Although the picture had triggered the painful memory of all the newspapers with her name in it, none of that was his fault. He was the reason she hadn't run away from this town, to decide it was time to own her story.</p><p>"I don't want to run from these stories, not anymore." She added, her eyes filling with tears.</p><p>Both of them could feel the inevitable turn this conversation was taking, no matter how frightened they were of being the one to speak the words that were on their minds. Their eyes said it all, but now one of them had to find the guts to say it out loud.</p><p>"So, everyone knows about... about us." FP said quietly, as he stood uncomfortably frozen on his spot in the living room. He wanted to move, but it seemed as if his feet were glued to the floor, afraid to overstep if he came any closer.</p><p>"I guess so." She said quietly, her eyes shimmering with hope that he felt the same, that he wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him.</p><p>"Attorney McCoy advised me to make a statement." Alice said, swallowing hard.</p><p>FP exhaled silently. He didn't want to put any pressure on her or their growing relationship. He loved taking their own time, without people watching them. That was what made it all so great. It was their own bubble. He'd never hold it against her if she wanted for things to stay that way, even when he wished that he could her his. All he wanted was for her to be ready to be open about them and if she wasn't yet, he'd wait for as long as he needed to.</p><p>"Look, I understand if you'd deny it. I wouldn't blame you." He said softly, taking a step into her direction, finally being able to move his feet. FP expected for her to be relieved, but for some reason he didn't understand he saw a flash of hurt in her eyes.</p><p>"What if I won't? Would you be okay with that?" She asked him, her voice insecure. What if he didn't want this with her? What if he wasn't ready for this to be more than whatever they were doing together? Was this the beginning of the end of the start of something beautiful?</p><p>"You'd really do that?" He asked her in little disbelief, a smile curling on his lips.</p><p>Part of him still wondered what a woman like her was doing with a man like him, but if she'd tell the world about being together with him, that meant she was just as serious about them as he was about her. His heart beat rapidly in his chest, knowing that their relationship was blossoming into something he would have never dared to dream about.</p><p>"But that means for us..." FP continued, afraid to end the sentence in case he had misread all her signals.</p><p>"That this is for real." She finished softly, taking a step into his direction. Her lips curled into a smile, as for the very first time they dared to admit what this was between them.</p><p>"Is that okay?" She asked, extending her hand to him, hoping that he'd take it and would never let go. He couldn't fight the smile on his lips and took her hand in his before sweetly tugging her his way.</p><p>"Yeah... that's okay... more than okay." He smiled like a fool and took her face in his hand to bring her in for a searing kiss, making her giggle in their little moment of bliss.</p><p>A picture taken with the worst intentions had lead into something beautiful, leaving the lovestruck couple on their happy little cloud. Nobody would ever have power over them, not as long as they controlled their story. There were no other writers but them, and they were going to make sure that the rest of the pages were nothing but an ode to their love.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"In our history, across our great divide<br/>There is a glorious sunrise<br/>Dappled with the flickers of light<br/>From the dress I wore at midnight, leave it all behind<br/>Oh, leave it all behind<br/>Leave it all behind<br/>And there is happiness."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The Magic of Candlelight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"I have this dream you're doing cool shit<br/>Having adventures on your own."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>FP had dreaded this moment for decades, but with Alice by his side he knew that even if feelings that had been buried deep would come to the surface, he would be alright. She had his back. Always. That is one thing he had learned the last couple of months. Especially when they felt they could take on the world after the romantic picture of them that was spread in the newspaper. Nothing could break them, he was convinced.</p><p>It was strange to think that barely a year ago, he didn't speak a word. Day in, day out, he was stuck in his own mind in that wooden little cabin that he called home. But now? He was in love. He wasn't alone anymore.</p><p>"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Alice squeezed his hand comfortingly as she gave him a way out, in case he needed one.</p><p>She knew he was perfectly capable of making a choice, but in the months that she had gotten to know him, she had learned that sometimes he had trouble feeling his own boundaries.</p><p>"As long as you're here, I am." He told her confidently.</p><p>It was time. And though he had been terrified to face what he had known the past two decades, it was less scary knowing that there was someone next to him who would dry his tears and put his pieces together if he'd break.</p><p>Slowly, they walked over the graveyard, searching for the right name. The gravel crunched under his feet, an unfamiliar sound that he'd rather not get used to. His skin got covered in goosebumps as he looked at all the different graves and thought about all the broken family members that must come here for comfort. Even when FP had grown up in Riverdale, he didn't recognize any names. Maybe if he hadn't isolated himself, he would have. Now it was all just a mystery to him.</p><p>"It's here..." He stopped in his tracks as he was met with the name of his best friend carved into stone, including his birth- and deathday. Frederick Arthur Andrews. May 21st 1977. The day he was born. October 6th 2002. The day he lost his brother.</p><p>"Someone has brought flowers." Alice noticed a few white roses. They still looked like they were in the peak of their blossom, telling her that they had been brought not long ago.</p><p>"Must have been Mary. She goes at least once a week." FP concluded as he sat down on his knees in front of the grave, his eyes glued to Fred's name. His hand had fell out of Alice's and his eyes almost looked hypnotized.</p><p>"Do you want a moment alone?" She asked him, still standing behind him and not wanting to assume that it was okay for her to stay. After all, she had never met Fred and she didn't want to impose on a moment that was so important to FP.</p><p>"Please, stay." He turned his head to look at her, his soft eyes meeting hers.</p><p>There was only one hand he wanted to hold while feeling so close to Fred and that was hers. It was the only way he could bring his best friend and the love of his life closer together.</p><p>Alice sat down next to him on her knees and offered him her hand and a warm smile. He accepted her offer gratefully and intertwined their fingers once more. Her thumb was absentmindedly stroking his and even the tiniest gesture as that one, could make him feel like he wouldn't break.</p><p>"Fred... I—" FP took a breath, trying to find the words that had been inside of him for eighteen years. And yet, it felt like he was speechless. What could you say to the one that you had promised to protect but failed to do so?</p><p>"I miss you, man. I miss you so much." He choked out, the first tears slowly falling from the corner of his eye down to his chin.</p><p>"Every day I wake up and wish there would be a way for me to bring you back." He said sniffing, his shoulders shocking a little.</p><p>Alice held onto him a little more and placed her head against his arm after pressing a kiss there. Her heart broke seeing him like this, but she knew he needed for this confrontation to happen if he'd ever wanted to heal.</p><p>"I've met Archie a little while ago, for the very first time... looking in his eyes was like looking at yours."</p><p>FP smiled through his tears and wiped them away with the back of his hand. It was still so surreal to him, but having met his son had truly felt like he was there again. He had the classic Andrews' spark that radiated nothing but goodness.</p><p>"He's probably just as crazy as you were at eighteen." He chuckled, his eyes glued to Fred' name. Alice smiled a little to herself as she saw him in his little bubble talking to his friend. She could see that he had done the right thing, no matter how scared he had been.</p><p>"Remember the tree house where we used to hang out close to that old cabin? I live there now. The cabin, I mean. Not the tree house." He laughed, as he cleared up what he meant.</p><p>
  <em>Fred ran around the woods, his eyes falling on something close by. His eyes started to spark. FP was right behind him, already shaking his head with a smirk, seeing where he was heading at.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come on, this can be fun!" Fred said enthusiastically, waving at FP to come closer. He looked up at the big tree house above him and climbed the tree smoothly, like he had done nothing else in his childhood.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We're not eight years old, Freddie. Grow up." FP laughed as Fred sat down while he was still on the ground.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Where is the child in you, Jones? Are you acting tough now since you're a Serpent?" Fred teased him, making himself comfortable in the tree house.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe it's a spot from the Ghoulies. Don't want to mess with them, Frederick." FP brought in, sharing a valid point. If there was one group of  people to avoid, it were the Ghoulies. It was always trouble with them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm not afraid of them and I don't think you are either. You're just trying to find a way out." Fred said, not settling for FP refusing to come up with him and hang out there. It had a perfect view over the woods. To him, it was breathtaking. It'd be a perfect spot to look up at the sky when the stars were bright.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We can easily fix this! It'd be a cool place to hang out." Fred looked down at FP as he laid on his stomach and poked his head just over the edge to meet his eyes. FP chuckled and  eventually gave in. He climbed in there a second later just as smoothly as Fred had done. It was almost like a second nature.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What are your plans after your senior year?" Fred asked him, once he was safely up and had settled himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Can't afford college, so probably the army." FP shrugged and played with a loose branch.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He threw it away, for it to land back on the forest ground. If he was being honest with himself, he hadn't given it much thought, as the options he had weren't even that much, nor were they appealing. He didn't want to think about what would happen after high school. What would happen to their friendship if Fred would move away to go college? Would he lose him?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're really considering enlisting?" Fred asked him curiously, not expecting to hear that from FP. He had never spoken about it before, which is why it came as surprise.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What choice do I have?" FP answered with a rhetorical question, making Fred frown.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He knew he had gotten lucky in the family department with parents thad had been saving for him to go to college from the second they had found out they were expecting him. FP didn't have that. He was broke and it was safe to say that he did have a little trouble with keeping up with his classmates at school.The army could be his only option to get a degree.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>However, FP didn't have to be scared for their ways to part after high school. There was no way Fred was going to let him do that alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you're going... I am going with you." He said determined.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>FP looked up, almost having to hold in his laugh until he saw the look in Fred's eyes. He was bloody serious. Had he gone crazy?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Andrews, are you freaking insane?" FP shook his head with a chuckle. There was no way that someone like Fred was going to join him. He was meant for greater things, not for the army.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You've got a good set of brains. Go to college." FP told him sternly, not wanting for their friendship to be the reason he wouldn't get into an Ivy League. How crazy did he have to be to throw that away? He would kill to be able to go to college.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I can do that after." Fred shrugged, not seeing any obstacles in this plan.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His college money wasn't going anywhere. Doing this together with his friend was way more important to him than anything else in the world. FP frowned, making Fred notice that his friend wasn't convinced yet. It wasn't just that he didn't want FP to go alone, he wasn't exactly looking forward to having to go to school for so many years again. He was ready for something new, something exciting.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"FP, I need an adventure. Not another four years with my nose in the books." He explained his reasons, slowly making FP see that he really wanted this, even when it was an impulse.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Besides, someone has got to look out for you, right?" Fred teased, elbowing him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even when it was a joke, FP couldn't help but tear up. Nobody ever looked out for him. Nobody, not even his dad, especially not his dad, would ever do something so selfless for him. For the first time in his life he realized he had someone who really cared. A friend, a brother, who'd be there for you. Always.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You'd really do that?" He asked him softly. Fred noticed how his eyes had glossed over. His face softened as well, and extended his hand to him. FP took it, smiling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's what brothers do." He told him. And Fred always kept his promise. He had always looked out for FP, until his last breath.</em>
</p><p>"I should have never let you join me. You would've been here if it wasn't for me. I am sorry. I am so sorry." FP cried softly, his free hand reaching for the dirt from the ground in front of him. He squeezed it hard.</p><p>His knuckles turned white and his palms got a dark shade from the earth while he clenched his jaw with shocking shoulders. Alice looked worried, afraid that he would stay in this state. She reached for his now dirty hand and intertwined them as well.</p><p>"Mary has always been looking out for me. Even when I should have been the one to be there for her." FP continued, his cheeks soaking wet from his tears. He sniffed and took a moment of silence, until he looked sideways to the woman who's hand was giving him all the warmth he needed. She was there, before he'd break down.</p><p>"There is someone else now, too. Her name is Alice. I wish you could've met her." FP smiled a little and squeezed her hand.</p><p>If he could wish for anything, he would wish for them to be able to meet one another. Some days he believed that it was Fred who sent Alice his way and maybe, he knew perfectly well who the woman he had fallen for was.</p><p>"You'd be happy to know that I am being taken care of. You were always very protective." FP said softly.</p><p>If Fred could have said anything, FP was sure he would have made a comment about how he's glad that he wasn't alone-- <em>not anymore. </em>He would have made a sweet joke to let Alice know that he liked her and would have tried to make her feel as welcome in Riverdale as he could. He would have been the sun in the dark, making sure they wouldn't lose hope.</p><p>FP let go of her hands for a moment and reached for the inside of his jacket, grabbing something small. Alice followed his movements and noticed what it was.</p><p>"You brought a candle?" She asked him sweetly, finding it a beautiful thing to light for him. It was a cliche, but she had always thought that it was wonderful gesture to pay some respect.</p><p>"I brought two. One for Fred and one for Lily. He'd be more than willing to share his last resting place." He took the other one and handed it over to her, making her look up in surprise.</p><p><em>Lily</em>. It was the first one someone, besides herself, ever called her by her name. Suddenly, after two years someone made her real, made her a human. Through her glossing eyes, she gave him a grateful smile as he lit the match, and made sure her candle was burning as well.</p><p>"Thank you." She whispered, not sure what the right words would be to someone who gave her something she needed for the longest time.</p><p>Together, they placed the two candles next to the grave and held each other close as they looked at the resting place that wasn't now only Fred's, but Lily's too. They had created a place for them to come together and grief their loss, something that seemed impossible alone, but just slightly bearable when they were together.</p><p>"I'll talk to you soon, man. That's a promise." FP said softly, as a feeling of peace and calm washed over him.</p><p>**</p><p>Alice had undressed herself to get ready for bed and was left in only her underwear as she searched through his closet to find something warm for her to wear, until she felt two hands landing on her waist from behind her. He pressed a tender kiss below her ear. It was still so new for her how soft he was with her, making it all still feel like a fairytale. Sometimes, it took someone else to show you how you have been mistreated by the people from your past.</p><p>"What are you looking for?" He asked her softly.</p><p>"A sweater for me to steal." She smiled and kept on looking. The one she had stolen before wasn't there, so she was on a mission to find one just as comfy. But in her search, her eye fell on something she hadn't seen before. It was a black leather jacket.</p><p>"What's this?" She took it out and turned around. FP's eyes glued to the snake on the back. He hadn't seen that jacket in years... it was from a different life. A life that had still included Fred.</p><p>"That's my Serpent Jacket..." He told her, taking it into his own hands and smirking at it. It definitely sparked some memories.</p><p>Back in high school he had been a proud member. Maybe if he had asked them for help after returning from the army, things would have worked out differently. Now it was nothing more than a distinct memory.</p><p>"As in the town's gang?" She asked curiously, a smile tugging on his lips when she saw that it cheered him up. Alice would have never guessed that once upon a time he had been part of a biker gang, but she loved how she was finding out more and more about him every single day.</p><p>"One of the two, yeah. Ghoulies and Serpents don't like each other very much." He told her, explaining the shortest summary of the rivalry between the two gangs.</p><p>"I used to be a Serpent when I was eighteen. Still am one, I guess." He smiled softly, something sparking inside him that made him believe that maybe, one day, he wanted to go back. The Serpents had always been a family. It could be the first step to really get back into the real world.</p><p>Alice took it back out of his hands, making him look up confused. She smirked and slid her arms in the sleeves. His eyes grew wide when he saw what she was planning to do.</p><p>"You like this on me, don't you?" She teased, as she bit her bottom lip playfully. He may not be good with words, she could see by the twinkle in his eyes that he definitely loved seeing her in this jacket.</p><p>"Come on, you can say it. It's okay." She said sweetly as she walked over to him and traced his chest with her index finger through the cotton of his grey t-shirt.</p><p>"It looks really good on you." He smirked, his hands falling on her waist. He pulled her body closer to his own, and kissed her deeply, not only telling him how beautiful he thought she looked, but also thanking her for today.</p><p>"Glad you approve." She grinned, nudging his nose against his when they pulled back.</p><p>And though it was tempting to take things further, after the day they've had both of them were too emotionally drained to take things to his bed. Instead, she had another idea for them to properly relax.</p><p>"Should we take a bath? It's been a long day." She extended her hand for him to take, which he did gratefully. For someone who had always loved to be alone, he was still surprised that he couldn't get enough of being around her.</p><p>**</p><p>After lightening some candles and filling the tub with hot water and soap, they both sat down with a satisfied exhale. FP pulled her body to his, his fingers lingering on her abdomen.</p><p>One thing was better than to take the bath that had been waiting for him for eighteen years, and that was to have the woman close that he had the privilege to call his. In the shimmer of the bathroom light and the candles around them, she looked as beautiful as always.</p><p>"I can't remember the last time I took a bath..." He chuckled softly as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear so he could look at her side profile. Her hair was tied in a loose bun and she wasn't wearing any stitch of make-up, but she looked absolutely perfect to him.</p><p>"You'll enjoy it, I promise you." She lolled her head backwards and kissed his cheek before relaxing her body and resting herself against his chest again.</p><p>"What you did for me today means a lot to me." She mumbled quietly, after a few minutes of silence.</p><p>When FP didn't answer, she turned her head back to him to make sure she'd meet his eyes. She could read that he was confused about her words, as if he didn't understand what he had done for her. She turned her whole body around a little, wanting to face him directly.</p><p>"The candle. And acknowledging Lily as a human being who deserves a resting place." Alice croaked out, afraid that her tears would spill.</p><p>She could feel his fingers creeping up her spine, softly stroking her wet and soft skin with a featherlight touch as he gave her the softest smile she had ever seen.</p><p>"Anyone would have done that." He told her softly.<br/>To him, it was the most human thing to do. Her grief is real, she lost her child. It didn't matter that she had never met the earth, she deserved a resting place just as everybody else.</p><p>"No, they wouldn't have. Even the people I loved dearly didn't." She told him, swallowing her tears. It had been one of the hardest part of her grief, not having anyone to lean on, to wipe her tears, to tell her that it was okay to cry.</p><p>"But you did." Alice placed her hand on his cheek and gratefully smiled. Their grief, their loss, was so different from one another, but nothing is stronger than the love between two people who understood each other's pain.</p><p>"I'll light a thousand candles for her if that gives you even the slightest bit of comfort, Alice." FP promised her, a spark of determination and passionate love in his eyes.</p><p>"I'll do anything for you." He whispered sweetly, before leaning in and locking their lips in a passionate and tender kiss, both of them trying to tell each other with their touch that the love they had grown to share, was more than anything they could have ever dreamed of.</p><p>**</p><p>After the bathwater had turned cold, they had dried themselves with FP's big white towels before changing into something suitable to sleep in. As always, FP was dressed in his long pyjama bottoms and a bordeaux colored t-shirt, while Alice had wrapped her short silk robe around her body that she had brought from home the other night.</p><p>Ever since she stayed over more, slowly part of her wardrobe had made its way over this drawers, a process that seemed so small and unimportant for so many people, but was a big step for them.</p><p>Alice readjusted her loose bun and wanted to make her way to his bedroom, until she caught sight of his reflection in the small round bathroom mirror. His forehead was stuck in a tight frown and he didn't seem to register that he was in a trance. Maybe the bath hadn't helped him relax enough.</p><p>"You look tense." She placed her hand on his back and slowly stroke up and down, trying to get his attention without startling him.</p><p>When he looked up he met her worried, but inviting blue eyes and somehow he felt his shoulders relax more just upon seeing her. Every time he got stuck in another reality, she always seemed to bring him back to where he was supposed to be.</p><p>"It was harder than I thought." He confessed, swallowing his tears before they had even the chance to gather in his eyes.</p><p>"I've known for eighteen years that he's gone, but kneeling in front of... in front of his grave made it so awfully real." FP turned around to face her, even when he had to try his hardest to look straight into her eyes.</p><p>It wasn't easy to confess the pain and guilt he felt when he had looked at the place he had avoided for decades. He should have been there, but he had been too scared to face reality. He shook his head sadly, afraid that he would burst down in tears if he wouldn't fight it.</p><p>Alice wrapped her arms around his body and laid her head down on his chest for a brief moment. He melted into her embrace and enveloped his arms around her, holding onto her as if she was the only thing keeping him alive.</p><p>She didn't have to say anything, her touch was enough for him to know that she would always offer him a listening ear if he needed one. That was her magic. She was always there.</p><p>"Should we go to bed early? You must be exhausted. Let me make some tea for us." She rubbed his arms with her hands and sent him a warm smile.</p><p>Cuddling together in bed had managed to calm him down before, and she could sense that he just wanted to be in each other's presence right now, no words needed.</p><p>She took a step away to reach for the handle of the bathroom door, but before she could even open it, FP spoke up again. He needed something else. Something he hadn't done before.</p><p>"Actually, I think I want to paint." He stated, his eyes twinkling in the warm shimmer of the bathroom light.</p><p>"I want to paint you, again." He added softly, his eyes fixated on the way her blue ones were staring right back at him with something so pure, that he was still trying to figure out how he could ever deserve that.</p><p>"But... like this." FP slowly walked her way and wrapped his arms around her waist, before one hand came to reach up to twirl the stash of her silk robe to untie it.</p><p>In a soft, swift motion, he managed to untangle it. The fabric slid off her shoulders, and gently he took it off her body, leaving her completely nude in front of him. She looked like a Goddess, with the light of the candles shining on her beautiful porcelain skin.</p><p>"Is that okay with you?" He whispered, his breath ghosting over her skin.</p><p>His question was implied with so many layers that weren't just about the painting, but more so about if she was okay with him seeing her vulnerable like that.</p><p>She had shared her deepest, darkest secret with him, the very first time that she had showed her soul and the pain that it carried. She had felt so open, so vulnerable, so naked. And though he had seen her body multiple times before, right now he was asking her to immortalize it into his work. He was about to <em>look</em> at her in a new light. Every curve, every freckle, every detail, nothing would go unnoticed. He would see her in a way nobody had ever asked her to show herself.</p><p>Alice's heart was beating in her chest, but not because she was scared. No, this was because the man in front of her asked her so tenderly if she was willing to show that side of herself, to let her body be used for his art when she had so much trouble loving herself. If she ever wanted someone to look at her body like that, then it shouldn't be anyone else but FP.</p><p>"Yeah... that is okay." She gave him a sweet smile and nuzzled her nose against his, making him return the smile.</p><p>He had taken her hand and sat her down onto the couch, his eyes barely leaving her before taking matches from the kitchen, to lighten the candles around the room. Alice watched him, waiting to start the portrait when he was ready. The living room was cold, creating goosebumps on her pale skin.</p><p>When he lighted the last candle, he walked over the couch with it tightly wrapped in his hand. He sat down next to Alice and took her arm into his other hand. Slowly, he moved the candle close to her skin, and then looked up to search for her eyes.</p><p>"Do you see that? It creates a shadow on you. Even the fireplace will shine a unique light that will make it feel very real." He said quietly, as if talking to loud would break the dream they were in together.</p><p>Alice gave him a soft smile as she gazed down onto the shadow on her skin, that he could create exactly the way he wanted to.</p><p>"There is something special about painting in candlelight. Even in the abstract way I work, it impacts the soul of the art. It's a natural light source, but one I can control."</p><p>"See?" He shone the light onto her chest and stomach, who seemed to have gotten an even more golden color than they ever had before.</p><p>When he was so hypnotized by her body in her most purest form, she couldn't help but feel beautiful for the first time in forever. He looked at her as if she was a piece of art and the more she saw the love filled spark in his eyes, the more she could believe that maybe, just maybe, she was worth to be adored by him the way he did.</p><p>His hand reached for the loose elastic that held her bun together, to softly tug on it. It freed her golden locks that fell a little over her shoulder and FP couldn't stop himself from smiling at the beautiful sight of her nude body covered in the light of the fire, with her blonde hair hugging her face and her shoulders in the most delightful way. Gently, he adjusted her hair, before taking her shoulders in his hand to lower her down onto the couch.</p><p>Alice watched his every move, her lips slightly parted as she felt his fingers on her delicate skin. He was so gentle and careful with how he positioned her, trying to find the perfect way to capture the true essence of who she is. Softly, he readjusted her legs and arms into their right position and lastly he took her face between his index fingers to turn her face his way.</p><p>"Is this alright?" She asked him quietly, as she laid perfectly still. He sat down on his small chair and gave her a small, sweet nod.</p><p>Alice felt all her doubts washing away as soon as she saw the first strike going onto the canvas, not because she could see what he was painting, but because she saw the look of utter admiration in his eyes whenever he looked at her body. Having someone look at everything you would mark as a flaw like the most perfect thing about you, was a feeling of complete overwhelming love that she thought she was lucky to experience once in a lifetime.</p><p>She could have laid there for days, without getting tired of having him look at her in awe. It was calming to see him so secured by his own little bubble of safety and peace, and that he had chosen her to be part of that world.</p><p>Every once in a while, he stood up to turn her just the slightest bit, and whenever he did, he gazed into her eyes for a few seconds to tell her a story that she wouldn't be able to translate into words.</p><p>Over time, they had created a silent language between the two of them that went deeper than simply understanding what the other was trying to tell you. It was a connection between two souls who could speak to each other in complete silence.</p><p>As much as he was studying every inch of her skin to immortalize her in his art, she was studying his facial expressions to try and read what he was thinking and how he could turn her into a painting. And as she did, she noticed his trembling hand and the way his gaze was getting stuck on her.</p><p>He couldn't look away, his eyes were burning into hers, with tears that she could see perfectly in the reflection of the candle light. His lip quivered slightly, the first sign that he was losing the battle against his tears.</p><p>"FP, is everything okay?" Her voice was soft as she pushed herself up a little to sit straight on the couch.</p><p>She knew how sensitive he could be to triggers and it made her scared that maybe a frightening memory had found its way into his mind.</p><p>However, Alice didn't have to be scared. It weren't tears of sadness, nor were it tears of fright. As he had looked at her when he stroked the last brush on the canvas, he had an epiphany. This life that he was living with her, it was as real as it could be.</p><p>He had been waiting anxiously for the bubble to burst, to wake up and be all alone again, but seeing her laying on his couch while he had painted her in her most natural and pure form, he realized that none of that was going to happen.</p><p>"Sometimes I feel like I am living in a dream. But you... you're real. You're not just a painting." He shook his head and let out a soft chuckle, his eyes forever glued to hers. If one day his happiness would be taken from him, he wanted to make sure this vision of her would be engraved into his memory forever.</p><p>"You are so beautiful, Alice." FP whispered lovingly, his eyes glimmering with ever lasting love.</p><p>For so long, it had seemed like nothing but a hopeless dream to ever find love again and maybe once upon a time he had convinced himself that he was okay with being alone. After eighteen years, he didn't know any better. He knew he couldn't get hurt that way, he knew he never had to grief again if he stayed right where he was. But Alice had wrecked his plans. She made him less scared to get hurt, she made it worth the risk.</p><p>"Your blue eyes who see right into my very soul, the way your nose scrunches when you laugh, the gorgeous curves of your chest, your soft delicate skin that I get to touch, your golden hair that almost shines as much as your smile..." FP followed the curves of her body with his eyes, not in a lustful way, but in complete devotion and admiration for her.</p><p>"...And I just can't believe, you're giving that all to me." He whispered sweetly, tears ready to fall from his soft brown eyes, that would only look at her for the rest of his life.</p><p>"FP..." Alice whispered softly, her voice thick with emotion as she had listened to the words that came straight out of his heart, as if he had no other choice but to share his feelings for her.</p><p>Nobody had ever looked at her the way he had done, nobody had ever adored her the way he did. She hoped, she could make him feel the same way, because for the rest of her life, she would never doubt that their souls were connected forever. He was her soulmate, and by the way he looked at her, she knew she was his.</p><p>Alice stood up from the couch and made her way over to where FP was sitting on his small little chair, and sat slowly sat down on his lap, her legs on one side of his waist. The warmth of his body immediately made her glow inside, and when she wrapped her arms around his neck, their eyes met. Words weren't needed. It was them. Forever.</p><p>Her hand slid over his face so delicately, making him close his eyes to focus on her tender touch, while his hands naturally came to fall on her waist. She nudged her nose against his as she softly chased his lips, a sweet gesture that had developed between them on how they asked the other if it was okay to kiss them.</p><p>FP nudged his nose back, a sign for Alice to softly lock their lips together. He kissed her back deeply and passionate, while his hands started to map out her whole body. They traveled from her waist, up to the side of her chest and back to her legs, almost afraid that he would forget a part.</p><p>She softly broke their kiss by taking his face tightly into her tiny hands and pushed herself up just slightly to make a small turn, to straddle his lips.</p><p>His eyes kept chasing her lips and he gripped onto her hips as she kissed him again. They had no rush into taking things further as they were both happy to let their tongues dance together all night, but he wanted to become one with her to show her exactly how much he adored her.</p><p>He stood up from his chair and lifted them up, her legs tightly wrapped around his waist. While holding her in his arms, he looked up at her with such pride that Alice couldn't do anything but smile. Having someone look at her that way had always felt like a fairytale. But after years, she had finally found her prince.</p><p>Carefully, he laid her down on the couch, his eyes never breaking from hers. He was trying to memorize every second of being with her as they would show each other their soulmate connection that would tie them together forever with a golden invisible string. After laying her down, he stood up again to remove himself from his clothing.</p><p>She looked at him in awe as his body was revealed to her and suddenly she understood what he had meant when he spoke about the magic of candle light. The shimmer of golden light and the shadows on his face, chest en legs made him not only look like an angel, but like her personal miracle.</p><p>He hovered over her again, his red kissed lips ghosting over hers before locking them together. Ever since the first time he had kissed her, he knew that there was nothing else in the world that felt so magical, so real. So real even, that he was sure that it had to be dream.</p><p>One of his hands took her legs in a soft but firm grasp, to wrap them around his waist. Alice gently pulled on the hair on the back of his neck to make him look at her and when she met his eyes, she smiled. FP smiled back in his very own signature way, before he moved his kisses from her lips to her neck, her collarbone, her chest, her stomach, until he ended right between her legs.</p><p>The skin of her tights was so soft that he could take days to map out the exact feeling. Some places were ticklish, some places gave her goosebumps in the most delightful way. He loved being the one that got the privilege to touch her, to be the one to get the honor that got this pure and vulnerable part of her.</p><p>Her soft little gasps as a reaction to the magic of his tongue were music to his ears and he gently held down her hips as her back arched from the couch. If she would have let him, he could have pleasured her all night, but she softly tugged on his arms to bring his face close to hers again. She didn't have to say anything. Her eyes, her lips, her hands all told exactly what she needed from him.</p><p>Alice kissed him deeply when they finally became one, her hands around him to keep her as close as she could. Every demon, every memory that broke their hearts, every piece of darkness that wanted to suffocate them seemed to fade away when it was just two loving souls who had waited their whole lives for their stars to align and were finally together in a overwhelming feeling of pure lust, admiration and happiness.</p><p>**</p><p>FP's head was resting on Alice's chest, and he had one leg loosely wrapped around hers, to keep them close together. His eyes were closed and his hands were tightly wrapped around her upper body. Alice's hands were gently stroking through his dark locks while she looked at how at peace he seemed.</p><p>"Are you asleep?" She whispered sweetly, the motion of her hands continuing.</p><p>"No, I am listening to your heartbeat. It's calming." He said quietly, his eyes now opening. He exhaled as a soft smile tugged on his lips. He wished time wouldn't exist, so he could stay like this forever.</p><p>"I wouldn't mind watching you sleep." Alice said softly, smiling a little down to him.</p><p>He always looked so adorable when he slept, but it was mostly the fact that when he was asleep, she knew that he was free of all his fears and his demons for a little while that it made so wonderful to watch. FP chuckled sweetly and shifted a little to tighten his wrap on her body. He pressed a soft kiss between her breasts before laying his head down again.</p><p>"Did you know you do this thing in your sleep, where you open your eyes, you hold me closer, kiss me and then fall back asleep?" Alice hummed, a playful smile curling on her lips.</p><p>FP pushed himself up a little to be able to look at her. He always thought that he barely moved in his sleep, let alone that he had known that he did something like that.</p><p>"I do that?" He asked her surprised, but smiling.</p><p>"You do." Alice giggled sweetly.</p><p>"Maybe I just don't want to miss a moment with you." He teased, before leaning down to press a lingering kiss on her pink lips.</p><p>"I guess so." She whispered, when he pulled back.</p><p>"You know how proud you make me, right?" Her hand came to rest on his cheek, making her thumb stroke his stubble.</p><p>She had said it before, but she always had a gut feeling that he had trouble seeing his own progress and never wanted to reward himself for every step that he made.</p><p>"I don't think someone who was too scared to visit his friend for eighteen years deserves that, Alice." He sadly casted his eyes away, tears again gathering in his eyes.</p><p>FP didn't believe that he would ever lose the guilt that had been in his heart ever since he had lost Fred right in his arms. He'd carry that with him forever.</p><p>"You do. You did something very brave today." She assured him, now taking his face firmly between her hands for him to meet her eyes.</p><p>Maybe, she wouldn't be able to erase the deeply ridden guilt that had been there for eighteen years, but she'd do anything to let him know that she was proud of him, no matter what the voices in his head would say.</p><p>"I could, because you were there." He confessed softly, his eyes fixating on hers as if he was trying to read the answers of the universe in them.</p><p>"Alice... I..." He stopped mid-sentence in confusion, afraid that if he said those three words out loud, she wouldn't be able to say it back.</p><p>He knew he loved her, but he couldn't handle the thought of their beautiful blissful bubble being burst by saying them to her.</p><p>"Yes?" She asked softly, when he didn't continue.</p><p>Alice could feel what he was about to tell her, and if he would, she wouldn't hesitate to tell him that she loved him too, even more than he could probably know.</p><p>However, their relationship was still so fragile and she would never want to force him to say something that he wasn't ready for. He had to be the one to say it to her, before she could tell him that she had loved him for a long time now. She was willing to wait for as long as it would take, because she knew that what they have would be forever.</p><p>"I am not sure what I did to deserve you in my life, but I am grateful for you." He gave her a warm smile, his eyes twinkling with love.</p><p>Though his words were genuine, he wished he could have said what he wanted to. Alice could read it in his eyes. She could translate the words that he said and didn't say and therefore returned a bright, loving smile that could be read by him as her telling him that she loves him, too.</p><p>"I am grateful for you, too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Past the blood and bruise<br/>Past the curses and cries<br/>Beyond the terror in the nightfall<br/>Haunted by the look in my eyes<br/>That would've loved you for a lifetime<br/>Leave it all behind<br/>And there is happiness."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Painting The Town</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"When no one is around, my dear<br/>You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes<br/>Spinning in my highest heels, love<br/>Shining just for you."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thanksgiving day. A holiday FP hadn't celebrated since high school. For a long time, he had forgotten that the holiday even existed. However, this year things were different. Last year, he had barely realized that it was the day where he had to stop and think about all the things that he was grateful for.</p><p>FP was aware that a year ago, he didn't have that much to thank the universe for. He was alone, the way he always thought he believed he preferred. Nothing was less true. From the moment Alice had entered his life, the sky that had been grey for most of his life suddenly turned golden.</p><p>Alice closed the door of the cabin behind her and looked at FP, who was standing right in front of her, his back turned to her side. He was looking around, as if it was the very first time he saw the woods. It had been his home for so long and yet he had never taken the time to really <em>look</em>.</p><p>All his art was based on the voices and demons in his head, that he had never realized that he could paint the outside world the way he saw it. For the first time in his life, he wasn't afraid for the world outside his home. And the woman who made it all possible? She was the one walking his way, taking his hand and reminding him that he wouldn't be alone, not ever again.</p><p>"Where do you want to go first? The choice is yours." Her angelic voice brought him back on earth. He looked at her as the warmth of her palm ran through his veins, making him send her a soft smile.</p><p>"Sweetwater River. I've always wanted to paint that beautiful view." He told her, tugging her a little to the front, walking them over to her station wagon.</p><p>There was no other way he wanted to spend the day of gratefulness, with the one person that he was most grateful to have in his life. She had been the one to propose going out together and look for places that they could make theirs. It gave him the idea of using the town where he was born and raised as inspiration for his new work. He was ready to face anything that he had been so scared of.</p><p>**</p><p>Alice turned off the engine once they had reached the edge of the river. As soon as the cold air hit their faces together with the warm rays of the sun they knew it was going to be a beautiful day.</p><p>Last year, she had worked late and went straight to bed when she got home, ignoring her husband's hurtful comments as he had asked her why she hadn't made dinner, his only complaints being about eating take-out alone instead of wondering if she was the slightest bit okay.</p><p>It had been a moment of rock-bottom and she had remembered very vividly that she had thought to herself that maybe, things wouldn't ever get better. But they did. She was in a new town, in love with a wonderful man that she had been waiting for all her life and felt more at peace with herself and the world for the first time in forever.</p><p>She watched as FP walked over to the bed of the river and bended down. He extended a hand and let his fingers touch the ice-cold water. He smiled a little to himself. Noticing something so simple as the temperature of water and how it created a shiver over his whole body felt so special, after years of feeling numb inside.</p><p>"Nothing is more mysterious than the element of water, don't you think? It can both destroy and heal so many things at once. That's like magic." He said out loud, his hand still in the water as the stream rushed past his skin.</p><p>Alice smiled at him as she rested against the car, finding nothing more beautiful than to see him in his bubble.</p><p>And as he took his art crafts, she had watched him with the same look of admiration. She could see the the spark of happiness in his eyes as the brush stroked over the canvas and how he focused on the water, trying to find the right emotion to immortalize</p><p>She remembered him telling her that he and Fred used to hang out at that place often and thought of how FP could see their memories here together, while she looked at a river that was so new to her.</p><p>It was strange to think that different places could mean something totally different. Suddenly, FP met her eyes as if he was being brought back on earth, his bubble vanishing.</p><p>"Isn't this boring for you? We can do something else if you want." He said sweetly, afraid that she was getting cold and rather wanted to be inside. He could always finish his painting another time, today was supposed to be about the two of them.</p><p>"There is no other way how I'd like to spend Thanksgiving." Alice reassured him and pushed herself up from the front of her car to take a closer look.</p><p>"Besides, I like watching you." She winked and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek.</p><p>He smiled at her and adjusted her scarf a little tighter around her, not wanting for her to get cold. Even with the sun shining so bright, it was still freezing.</p><p>"You're sweet." He said softly, nudging her nose against hers as he grinned at her.</p><p>Alice giggled and pressed a peck on his lips, until their little moment of bliss was interrupted by a strange noise.</p><p>Not that far away, they could hear voices. In the midst of winter Sweetwater River wasn't really a crowded place, and FP had purposely chosen a place around the river where rarely any people came, not even in the summer. He was certain that he was one of the few people who even knew how to come there, so what were those people doing here?</p><p>"Did you hear that?" FP asked her, his eyes focussing on anything that he could pick up.</p><p>"What?" Alice answered confused, not sure what he was referring to.</p><p>"Those voices?" He turned around, the sound becoming louder.</p><p>FP took her hand and followed the noises that took his attention. To find out, they had to go further into the woods. Alice let him lead her and tried to be all ears and find out what he was talking about. Suddenly, FP stopped in his tracks and held her back. He quickly ducked down when he noticed the silhouette of the one that he would recognize out of thousands.</p><p>"Isn't that Hiram Lodge?" Alice asked him, squinting her eyes to get a good look. FP nodded. That was most definitely the one that had been his rival ever since high school.</p><p>"But who are the guys with him?" He mumbled, trying to put the puzzle pieces together.</p><p>But then his eyes grew wide. It had taken him a few seconds to recognize them, but it all became clear now. Twenty-five year old memories were coming to the surface, giving him the last piece of information that he needed.</p><p>"Those are Ghoulies..." He whispered, squeezing her hand tightly in his own. If they were getting caught lurking, they wouldn't bother to use violence. Alice getting hurt was the thing he needed to avoid at all costs.</p><p>With her free hand, Alice reached for her phone and unlocked it, immediately turning in her role of mayor. If they were doing anything seemingly shady, she needed to have proof.</p><p>"What are you doing?" He asked her quietly, still afraid to make a little sound that would betray their presence.</p><p>"Taking pictures." She stated the obvious, taking shot after shot. Alice only paused when Hiram handed them a bag, including one example of what had been terrorizing the town for months.</p><p>"Is that what I think it is?" FP turned his head to Alice, afraid for the answer and having a gut feeling that he was right about his suspicion.</p><p>"Jingle Jangle..." Alice whispered, swallowing hard. The one they had been looking for had been the one she had tried to avoid at all costs.</p><p>"Has it been Hiram all the time?" Alice couldn't believe that the answer had been right under her nose all this time and that not one second, she had ever thought that a man like him would have to turn towards crime. It was an eye opener for her own prejudices.</p><p>"He's probably the supplier... he lets the Ghoulies deal." FP thought out loud, as he looked for a reasonable explanation.</p><p>Hiram was exactly the kind of man to let others do his dirty work while he got most of the profit. He was so powerful, that if one of them ratted him out, they'd pay with their lives.</p><p>"I should've thought about this before. Ghoulies never use their real name, they have a system with numbers. It changes over time. You can never give a name when one doesn't have one." FP suddenly realized, as flashes from his high school days making him remember exactly why it had always been difficult to trace a Ghoulie.</p><p>When Alice had told him that no buyer from Jingle Jangle had any idea of a name, it was because there were none. How could he have not put those pieces together before?</p><p>"I've got to call Tom." Alice tugged on FP's hand and made them walk back to the place where they had left the car and his art supplies, to make sure Tom could get there as fast as possible.</p><p>**</p><p>A little while later, after informing the Sheriff of what they had seen, they sat back in the car. FP had no inspiration left, and since it was getting dark outside he really wanted to go home and cuddle with her on the couch, just the two of them in their little bubble. Maybe then he could put the thought of Hiram wanting him to go behind bars for his own crime aside. His heart hurt, thinking of how the he had tried to ruin him, to destroy the last piece of his soul.</p><p>"You think it's going to be enough to get him behind bars?" FP looked sideways to meet her eyes. He really wished for justice to win, for this secret to come out and finally shine a light on who Hiram Lodge truly was.</p><p>"I have no idea... but it should be enough to investigate his involvement with the Ghoulies." Alice sighed and let her thoughts drift off a little, still blaming herself for being so blind.</p><p>He had been after her job from the start, and suddenly it made it so much sense of why he wanted to be mayor. With that kind of power, he could make sure that Keller would've never found him.</p><p>And when that plan failed, he had wanted to make sure that she would fall for him. He had failed miserably. However, it had led to her avoiding him as much as possible, ruling himself out as a suspect. She wished she would have seen his manipulation sooner.</p><p>The sun had almost set, creating darkness around him. It was only six o'clock, but Alice felt exactly the same as FP. She wanted a moment with the two of them, enjoying celebrating a holiday with the one person that they trusted with their lives.</p><p>"Come, we'll stop by Pop's to pick up some food." She sent him a sweet smile, which he gratefully accepted. Having take-out with her under a warm blanket together sounded like the perfect way to end the day. It seemed that she always knew what to say.</p><p>Once they had reached the parking lot, Alice expected him to follow her, but he stayed still. And then it hit her once again. Going out with her had been a big step for him that he had needed to take, but being in public? That was something FP didn't do, not ever.</p><p>However, it was Thanksgiving, and she wished for him to keep making these steps. By now she had learned that without her being there, he wouldn't. And as his significant other, she needed to hand him that support.</p><p>She stepped out of the car, walked over to his side and opened the door carefully. He looked up, a little confused.</p><p>"Will you join me?"  Alice extended her hand to him, wishing for him to take it.</p><p>FP looked up from the palm of her hands up to her sparkling eyes. Looking at her always made him feel so calm. It was because of her that he wanted to become a better person than he was yesterday.</p><p>"Yeah, I will." He said sweetly, and accepted her hand on his own.</p><p>Not long ago, he would have been frightened, maybe even would've had a panic attack by just thinking of being in a public place with the people that had been spreading stories about him for so long. But times had changed. He was scared, but he knew he could handle it.</p><p>Hand in hand, the couple walked their way towards the diner. Alice gave him more one encouraging smile, telling him that all would be fine. When they opened the door, the bell above their head rang sadly, almost as if it understood the sadness of the people inside.</p><p>They stopped in their tracks immediately when they looked around the room, seeing the enormous damage. In the middle of it all, was a group of Serpents trying to pick up the broken pieces of glass, and a crying Cheryl that was being consoled by Veronica who had trouble holding back her own tears. The sight of it was heartbreaking.</p><p>"What has happened here?!" Alice asked confused, her hand falling out of FP's as she walked over to the two girls.</p><p>Cheryl lifted her head from Veronica's shoulder, her cheeks soaked with tears and only now noticed that Alice and FP had come in. Even if she wanted to answer, she couldn't. Cheryl was too shaken up to get a word out. Veronica wiped her girlfriend's tears and gave her a soft smile before turning to Alice and explaining what she was seeing.</p><p>"We were attacked... some Ghoulies were arrested today and they think it's because of the Serpents." Veronica explained, swallowing hard.</p><p>The message they had left was clear. This is what they did to betrayers. They had chosen violence to show their anger to the rival gang.</p><p>"They decided to raid the place we feel safest." Sweet Pea had stood up, big pieces of glass in his hand from the brick that had been thrown through the glass counter and one of the windows.</p><p>"Thanksgiving is ruined. They took everything we prepared." Cheryl sobbed, as she tried to calm down.</p><p>She wiped away the tears with the sleeve of her uniform. Alice met her eyes, and felt her own heart shatter in a thousand pieces. This girl didn't deserve any more pain.</p><p>"This was supposed to feed a lot of homeless kids." Veronica said sadly, looking at the food on the ground that they had been making together all day.</p><p>Though the girl admittedly had a questionable moral compass, they had worked really hard to show their support towards the Serpents, and selflessly prepared a free dinner for all of those who didn't have a family to go to, or couldn't afford to have a Thanksgiving dinner.</p><p>Everyone fell silent. Nobody knew what to say to fix it all, to make it not seem like the cruel end of a Thanksgiving feast that was supposed to be the highlight of the year for so many Serpents without a home.</p><p>"I might have a solution..." FP's said softly as eyes sparked, making everyone turn his way.</p><p>His hands trembled slightly as he spoke up in public for the very first time, towards the girl that had been spreading the rumors about him in the first place. He was afraid that they would send him away, but instead their eyes looked hopeful.</p><p>"I'll be right back." He told them, and turned around immediately. Before he could leave through the door, Alice took his hand.</p><p>"Where are you going?" She asked him confused, not sure how he thought he could fix what had happened in the diner.</p><p>"Trust me." He told her, before sending her a sweet smile.</p><p>She nodded, giving him the same smile. Alice knew she should have faith in him, so that is exactly what she did. The bell at the door rang again, all eyes still glued to where FP had just left.</p><p>"Come, let's clean up here until Sheriff Keller arrives." Veronica sighed deeply and started to grab a few brooms and mops to hand out, seeing no other option than to make sure the diner looked somewhat presentable.</p><p>They already had the pictures the cops would need, but knowing the Ghoulies they perfectly wiped their tracks. Even the note they left wouldn't be enough. Alice tried to get all the glass out of the way, but couldn't help but feel like it was her fault that Pop's had been attacked.</p><p>Above all that, she was carrying the secret that they knew who the real person behind the drug trade was. She needed to tell her, even when the thought of breaking the news to the young girl was shattering her heart.</p><p>"Veronica, could I talk to you for a minute?" Alice said softly, making the girl look up from scrubbing the floor.</p><p>She stood up, a confused frown on her face. Alice looked behind her and took Veronica by her arm to make sure they were out of ear shot.</p><p>For a few seconds she stayed silent and looked at her eyes, still innocent and looking back at her with curiosity and a hint of fear. She took a breath as she mustered up the courage to say what she needed to get off her chest.</p><p>"Honey, I am not sure how to tell you this... but this afternoon FP and I found your father involved in a shady deal with the Ghoulies... It appeared to be that they were selling Jingle Jangle. I am the one who took the pictures of proof." Alice confessed, her throat tighten when she saw the innocent look in her eyes disappear to make place for hurt.</p><p>Veronica swallowed. Her father? The man she had always looked up to? The one that had sworn to always protect her, forever?</p><p>"I'm so sorry this has happened. I would have made sure that Pop's was protected if I would have even suspected they were going to do this." Alice placed her hands on Veronica's shoulder as the girl's eyes filled with tears. She was speechless. A girl who always had her word ready, now didn't know what to say.</p><p>"To make it up to you, I'd like to give you a budget out of the town's funding to take care of the damages." She told her softly, giving her a warm smile through her own tears. She didn't want to be the one to hurt her, but if it wasn't her, it would be Keller to tell her, which was even worse.</p><p>"Miss Smith, I don't know what to say..." Veronica croaked out, both overwhelmed that her childhood hero had stabbed her in the back and the sweet generous offer of Alice that came so unexpected.</p><p>She couldn't believe that someone she had trusted her whole life would do something so cold, while the person she had believed was an ice queen was the warmest person around.</p><p>"You don't have to say anything, dear." Alice said softly and opened her arms for Veronica to fall into.</p><p>She couldn't stop her tears anymore and embraced Alice tightly, to hold onto something that gave her the slightest bit of comfort.</p><p>"I do. I haven't been honest, either." Veronica pulled back, her own guilt eating her alive.</p><p>If Alice was willing to do something so selflessly, she needed to come clean about the things she had done. That was the least she owed her, no matter the shame she felt.</p><p>"I'm the one who made the picture of you in FP in Greendale. You have no idea how sorry I am." Her voice cracked as she revealed what had been eating her alive, afraid that Alice would resent her forever. But opposite of what she expected, she received a warm understanding smile.</p><p>"All is fine, I promise you. FP and I are in a good place." She assured the girl, who's heart was racing in her chest.</p><p>Though Alice knew that what Veronica had done was anything but right, it was the picture that had dared them to take the leap. It had worked out for the best, which is why she couldn't get herself to be mad.</p><p>It was the first time she ever received a sincere apology for something that appeared in the papers about her and for that she was already grateful. Thanksgiving Day wasn't a day to hold grudges, but to forgive.</p><p>"You make a lovely couple." Veronica said sweetly, meaning it with her whole heart.</p><p>It was time for her to open her eyes and see people for what they are, not for what her father was trying to show her. Today was a great start, she thought.</p><p>**</p><p>A little while later, Mary and Archie had joined the group as well, having the plan to pick up some food to eat at home. Instead, they had found Cheryl, Veronica, Alice and the Serpents cleaning the diner.</p><p>After hearing the story, they had immediately volunteered to help out. It made everyone feel a little better, as the presence of the two was a reminder that there was still good in the world of people who would help others in a heartbeat. There weren't only destroyers in the world. There were healers, too.</p><p>When they were as good as done, the door above the door and rang once again, making all eyes turn that way. FP was standing there with as many bags in his hand that he could carry.</p><p>"Honey, you're back." Alice walked his way and tried to see what he brought with him. He smiled at her and walked over to the counter and started to unpack as everyone watched, finding out what he had brought with him.</p><p>"It might not be what you had in mind for a Thanksgiving dinner, but it's all the ripe vegetables I had at home. It's all fresh from my garden." He turned around, a hint of blush on his cheeks.</p><p>Even when it was all he had to offer, he hoped that it would be enough to feed the people in here and give this Thanksgiving the golden edge that it needed.</p><p>"That's so generous of you, FP..." Veronica looked at all the food on the counter until she met his eyes, her heart glowing with a warm feeling.</p><p>Right now, she had enough reasons to not believe in the good of people, but with Alice and FP, two people who owed them nothing, the ones they had mistreated, it was hard to ignore the selfless acts. The good in people would always be stronger, Veronica started to hope.</p><p>"It looks like Serpents still take care of our own." Sweet Pea smiled softly, looking directly at FP. He had noticed the leather jacket with the big green snake on the back, telling him that once upon a time, he had been part of the gang.</p><p>"Once a Serpent, always a Serpent." FP smiled back, feeling thankful for the appreciation.</p><p>For someone who had always been afraid to be around anyone but himself, it felt awfully good to be appreciated and loved. He would have never guessed that he would spend a holiday with so many people and feeling as happy as he did right now.</p><p>"What do you say we all make this Thanksgiving meal together?" Alice proposed, seeing an opportunity to really make this a unique bonding moment. It was time to put the weapons down, time for a new start.</p><p>**</p><p>Once they were all enjoying their meal, Alice slid into a booth next to her boyfriend and looked at him in awe. He looked so soft and innocent, just in the way she had gotten to know him. Her heart was glowing with pride, that the scared man she once met was now sitting next to her eating a meal that he had made possible, with so many people around who were so grateful for him and what he had done.</p><p>"You did something wonderful." She said sweetly, taking his hand in her own to gently stroke her thumb over his knuckles. He laid down his spoon and looked at her, his cheeks flushing.</p><p>"It was nothing. Anyone would've done it." He shrugged, clearly not used to accepting compliments. In his eyes, it hadn't been anything special. They needed something to make a meal with, and he had only offered it.</p><p>"You always say that, but it's not true. You have a really loving and caring heart, FP." She said sweetly. He looked sideways and offered her the sweet smile that she had fallen in love with.</p><p>"It's because you bring out the best in me." He said softly and leant in to brush their lips together.</p><p>FP had come to learn that his own progress was something he should give himself credit for, but without her? He would have never taken the leap. he kissed her once more, smiling like a happy fool in love.</p><p>"Could we have your attention, please?" Cheryl tapped her fork against her glass as stood in the middle of the diner. All eyes turned to her as they fell silent. She was smiling again, an improvement with a few hours ago.</p><p>"As the proud owners of Pop's Chock'Lit Shop, we'd like to say a few words." She eyed her girlfriend, who gave her an encouraging nod.</p><p>"This day felt like a true nightmare. After pouring our heart and soul into preparing this lovely Thanksgiving feast for it to be taken away so brutally was very difficult to process." She swallowed, tears swimming in her eyes. Her brown orbs shifted to the couple in the booth, who were snuggled up together, hands intertwined as they looked at her.</p><p>"But thanks to FP we can still celebrate together, with the most delicious Thanksgiving meal we could wish for." She gave him a grateful smile, one that came straight out of her heart.</p><p>There was no way they could repay him for what he had done, there was only one small thing that could be a good start to make up for their own mistakes.</p><p>"We're so sorry for misjudging you, FP. That wasn't fair. We should have reached out before to see if you were fine. Veronica and I hope you can accept our apology. We can't thank you enough." Cheryl said softly, wishing for him to forgive her one day for being the one to contribute to the stories about him, when nothing was less true.</p><p>"It's okay. Thank you." FP gave her a grateful nod. A public apology was something he would have never expected and honestly? He didn't even need one. He didn't hold grudges. He had never been mad, not for one second.</p><p>Veronica was the next one who spoke up, who locked eyes with Alice. If there was someone she had misjudged from the second they had met, it was the woman who had moved here to take on a role that nobody else dared to.</p><p>"We owe you an apology as well, Mayor Smith. We're so sorry to believe the things that have been written about you. We were very wrong for that. You're no Ice Queen. You're a very warm person. The town is lucky to have you." She sent her a sweet smile, one that was the start of telling her that they were done fighting, that today had been the moment where they had gotten a moment of self reflection.</p><p>"All is forgiven." Alice assured her, returning the same sweet smile. And though she always thought she didn't care about anyone's approval, hearing those words made her tear up. She wished things could have been like this in her old town.</p><p>"Thank you, the both of you, for your forgiveness." Cheryl thanked them genuinely, not sure they even deserved for FP and Alice to forgive them that easily. She really wished that today could be a new start for the four of them.</p><p>"To a wonderful Thanksgiving." She raised her glass, followed by everyone else who echoed her words. A wonderful Thanksgiving indeed.</p><p>**</p><p>When FP stood at the buffet to go for seconds, he bumped his shoulder playfully against Mary's, who had stayed with her son to eat with them as well.</p><p>"Hey, are you enjoying yourself?" He asked her, smiling.</p><p>"I am. Thanks to you, Thanksgiving savior." Mary teased a she scooped up some of the salad to her plate.</p><p>"I am no hero." FP said quietly, smiling a little uncomfortable.</p><p>Mary's face fell. After all these years, he still had the habit of talking himself down whenever he got the chance. She had seen him grow so much the past year, but something like that didn't fade over such a short time.</p><p>"Give yourself a little bit more credit, FP. You deserve it." She said softly, placing her hand on his bicep, squeezing it comfortingly.</p><p>"A hero doesn't walk away from the people who need them most." He scoffed as the emotions that he had awakened tightened his throat. Mary stayed silent, her own eyes glossing over.</p><p>"When Fred passed.... I should have been there with you. I should have helped you raise Archie, to give you anything you needed. I am so sorry." His voice cracked as he lost the battle against his tears. Mary put down her plate to turn her body to look at him.</p><p>"FP, I've never been mad at you. You know that, don't you?" She took his lower arms into her hands to hold onto him and make sure that he was looking right at her.</p><p>"How can't you hate my guts? It's my fault Archie doesn't have a dad, that you lost your soulmate." He shook his head sadly.</p><p>If there was one thing he could do over, it was how he had shut himself out instead of being there for someone who needed him. But if he really wanted to change things, he would have never let Fred join him. After all these years, Mary still didn't understand what kind of monster he believed he was. She had never once blamed him for Fred's fate.</p><p>"You couldn't possibly have known. You did all you could." Mary said quietly, swallowing hard as she saw something break in his eyes.</p><p>She wished he didn't feel responsible for something as heavy as the death of his best friend, but even after years she had never managed to get that out of him, making her wonder if this guilt would be something he'd carry with him forever.</p><p>"I should have done more. Maybe he would have been here." He looked down at the floor, afraid to look her in her eyes and see the hate and disgust he thought should have been there years ago.</p><p>But Mary didn't walk away. She would never let him down. Her hands reached for his face and took it into her hands to make him look directly at her.</p><p>"FP, Fred not being here is not your fault. He wouldn't have wanted you for yourself to beat you up about that." She told him firmly, her voice shaking a little by the mention of her soulmate.</p><p>If there was one who knew him, it was her. Fred loved FP like a brother and would <em>never</em> blame him what had happened.</p><p>"But he would have wanted me to take care of you. And I didn't. You were the one who always took care of me."  FP shook his head, making her hands fall from her face as he bit his bottom lip, making sure he wouldn't cry.</p><p>"We all grief differently, FP. I had Archie. Without him... I wouldn't have made it." Mary said softly.</p><p>FP looked up to see where Archie was hanging with some Serpents, laughing away, reminding him so much of the happy look on Fred's face at his age.</p><p>"I needed to be around people to survive. You needed the opposite. That's okay. It always has been okay." Mary assured him, wishing she would have told him this years ago, if those were the words he needed to hear.</p><p>It had been difficult for her to really connect with him as he had completely isolated himself, but she always made sure to be in touch with him enough to be there if he needed her.</p><p>It was an unspoken promise, but she wished that maybe she had tried harder. But as much as Mary didn't blame FP for not raising Archie with her, he would never blame her in a thousand years for not dragging him out of the cabin.</p><p>"Fred would have been very proud of you, no matter what. He loved you." She added softly.</p><p>FP had a habit of doubting people's love for him, including his own. And though it was hard to believe that Fred wouldn't hate him for what he did or didn't do, for now he chose to not doubt Mary's words.</p><p>"As do I." She told him with a sweet smile. As a way to thank her, FP embraced her gently. Through it all, she had always been there. No questions asked.</p><p>"I love you too, Mary. Thank you." He whispered, feeling that somehow, Fred was there right with them tonight.</p><p>**</p><p>Around midnight they made it back to the woods and into the cabin, which once again had turned very cold in the winter months. Alice turned to the kitchen to grab the kettle and heat some water, for them to have a cup of tea before bed.</p><p>He looked at her as he hung up his jacket and smiled to himself. She was a dream come true. The longer she was around, the more he realized it was reality. And though FP was terrified to tell someone out loud how much they mean to him, he felt that it was time. He couldn't keep his true feelings in anymore, nor did he want to. It was Thanksgiving, the day to be completely honest.</p><p>"I realize we all forgot to say what we're thankful for." He said, making his way over to her. She turned around and took a step into his direction, gesturing for his hand. He took it and smiled.</p><p>"Don't you think Cheryl and Veronica said that for all of us?" Alice raised her eye-brow, smiling as much as he was.</p><p>"Most of it, yeah..." FP started out carefully, the nerves rising in his body. Maybe she wouldn't feel the same, or maybe it was too soon, but he need for once to take the leap, to be the one to take initiative.</p><p>"But not everything." He added softly, and took her other hand in his own as well. It was time.</p><p>"Alice, there is something I need to get off my chest." His voice trembled a little and he had to exhale deeply to try and get himself together.</p><p>This was the scariest thing he ever had to say. And though Alice's nerves were growing, she gave him the time to find the right words.</p><p>"I've been wanting to say it for a while now, but I think I was too scared to share this with you." He looked straight into her eyes, her blue orbs sparkling brightly in the shimmer of the light and suddenly all his fear seemed to wash away. She was the only one who he ever wanted to give this part of him, forever.</p><p>"The one thing in my life that I am most thankful for... is you. You showed me that love isn't torture, but that it's something beautiful. I didn't think someone was ever able to free this part of me. It is because of you that I feel alive again. It's the most wonderful gift someone has ever gotten me." He said sweetly, tearing up as he looked at the woman he was so head over heels in love with, the one who made all his dark days bright again.</p><p>"I love you, Alice. I have loved you for a while now." He confessed, squeezing her hands with his own oh so lightly.</p><p>She teared up by hearing those words, as for the first time in forever someone told her how much they cared about her while she could feel with every fibre of her being that they meant it.</p><p>"FP... I love you too." She walked closer to him and softly placed her hands around his shoulders, her fingers coming to tickle the hair in the base of his neck.</p><p>His hands fell on her hips and gently, he pulled her as close as he could while he breathed in her scent, one that had become home to him. She softly brushed her nose against his, making both of them smile with their eyes closed.</p><p>"You're the first one to make me believe that soulmates exist. I thought all my days would be dark... but you, you made them bright again. As if it was faith." She whispered softly, sharing a thought that had been wandering in her mind for evermore.</p><p>If the stars really had to do something with their paths crossing was something they would probably never find out, but having met the man she loved with all her heart made her believe in faith and the belief that it had always been her destiny to end up here with him.</p><p>"I'm more thankful for you than I could ever tell you."</p><p>With those words, she connected their lips in a passionate and tender kiss, telling each other with a love filled touch that the connection between them was one that could be never broken again.</p><p>FP pulled back slowly, having the urge to look at her. He took a fallen strand of hair from her face and pushed it behind her ear as he smiled softly. His heart was almost thumbing out of his chest, as he held the one that had his heart close to his body.</p><p>"Maybe that was Fred and Lily's way of looking out for us." He whispered with a smile.</p><p>Just like Alice, he couldn't explain why their paths had crossed, but he was convinced that something bigger than themselves had made sure they met each other, for them to fall in love.</p><p>"I hope it was." Alice smiled, loving the idea of them as their guardian angels.</p><p>The thought of the two people they had lost bringing them together was a comforting one, and she chose to believe it. She wanted to lean in and kiss him again, until they heard a soft meow through the room. Suzie was circling around FP's leg, asking for attention.</p><p>"I think she's a little jealous." She laughed as she let her hands fall from his shoulders.</p><p>FP chuckled and picked up the black furred kitten. He couldn't understand why people always said that black cats were a bad omen, when he felt like the luckiest person on earth that he had found her.</p><p>"I've got enough love for you too, Suzie." He cuddled her close his chest when the other one pulled Alice closer, feeling more loved than he had ever felt.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Now I just keep you warm (Keep you warm)<br/>And my waves meet your shore<br/>Ever and evermore."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Light On The Horizon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Please picture me<br/>In the trees<br/>I hit my peak at seven feet<br/>In the swing<br/>Over the creek<br/>I was too scared to jump in."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>FP looked around his small but cosy living room, anxiety already flowing through his veins. It had been his own idea, but he was scared of all the things he would find, or to realize that there was no way out for him here, that he'd always be stuck no matter how hard the tried to fight to be part of the real world.</p><p>The living room was filled with every single thing he owned, making him realize for the very first time how many things he had that he had forgotten about. Still, seeing it now made it impossible not to care about throwing it away.</p><p>"I have no idea where to start..." He said a little sadly, as his eyes shifted along all the boxes and bags with all the stuff he owned. It was surprising how much someone could collect in a house that was this small.</p><p>"Do you have things that you definitely don't want to throw away?" Alice walked over to him and placed her hand on his chest to softly stroke up and down to calm him. She had a feeling this wasn't going to be easy, but she was going to help him however she could.</p><p>"That's basically everything, Alice." He said quietly, his cheeks flushing a deep shade of red.</p><p>For someone who had barely left his house for the last two decades, everything he had collected had grown to be part of him, even the tiniest little trinket he had.</p><p>FP walked over to one of the boxes that was filled with little elephants, another dozen that didn't fit in his living room anymore, but still had kept all these years. Everytime he came across one, he just needed to buy it. It always felt like Fred stopped by when his eye fell on one. How could he not take it with him? It had turned out into the biggest collection he ever had.</p><p>"I know it sounds silly to keep all these elephants... but I can't throw them away. It feels like throwing away part of Fred." FP said to himself, but loud enough for Alice to hear. He fiddled with one of the trinkets in his hands, staring at it as if he was trying to see if there was a trace of his best friend left.</p><p>"That's okay. You can keep them. They give you comfort." Alice wrapped her arms around him from behind and pressed a soft kiss on his back. He relaxed the slightest bit by her touch.</p><p>"And if we would live together, someday?" He turned around, making her hands fall from his stomach. His insecure eyes met hers and for a brief second he had expected that she didn't see that kind of future for them, but his anxiety was taken away very quickly.</p><p>"Even then." Her eyes sparkled and she offered him a sweet smile.</p><p>He sighed happily. Every single day, she became more perfect to him. Neither of them knew when they were ready to take the step, but one day they were sure they'd spend every single day together. This was just the beginning of their story, they had the time.</p><p>"What about these boxes? It looks like a bunch of old newspapers." Alice turned to the ones on the couch and made a little room for them on the small wooden dinner table.</p><p>"And here? All these mugs?" She placed another one next to it and gave him a questionable look. It might be a better idea to begin with things that didn't have (or had less) any emotional value.</p><p>"That's a good start." FP nodded in agreement. Without her, he would have given up in the first minute.</p><p>While she started to look through the mugs, FP started to search in the boxes with the newspapers, which mostly contained ones that he hadn't thrown away for a reason he couldn't quite remember. Maybe because he always had trouble throwing stuff away, no matter if it had value to him or not.</p><p>But newspapers wasn't all there was. Underneath it all, he found a folder that contained film pictures from his childhood. Fred was almost in all of them. Between growing up with a drunken father and a mother that had to work several jobs to keep a roof above their head until she passed away, having him as his friend was the thing that kept his head above water. He would have drowned without him.</p><p>FP swallowed, as he looked at the happy faces of the kids that had no clue of life, and what was waiting for them. They smiled as if they hadn't known any pain, which even back then wasn't true. But together? They all seemed to forget it for a little bit.</p><p>"You have trouble throwing stuff away, don't you?" Alice looked at him, but she didn't notice the pictures her eyes were glued to.</p><p>"It's all I had for twenty years... it's part of my home." He sighed and placed the folder with pictures next to him, figuring that he needed to continue instead of getting swept up in melancholy.</p><p>"But it's time for a new start. I need to get my life back on track." He concluded, and grabbed the trash bag that was on the table, opened it and threw the newspapers in it.</p><p>But then Alice's eyes fell on the folder. She recognized the happy kid on them with the brown eyes that he still had immediately. She assumed that the boy next to him was Fred. She had only seen the picture of him at Mary's house. It all made sense why he had suddenly tended up.</p><p>"FP, are you okay?" She asked quietly, reaching for his hand so he would look her way. He paused his movements of throwing all the stuff away that he believed he wouldn't miss after a day, and met her eyes.</p><p>"I am. I really want to do this." He told her, his eyes glinstering a little. Alice wished she could read them and understand why he wanted so much for things to be different, when she would never push him to leave here, or to throw things away that he needed to hold onto.</p><p>"Why's that? You've been living here for so long, weren't things fine? Everyone knows your real loving and caring personality now, you don't have to do it for them." She told him softly, afraid that he wanted to change things up because he wanted for the world to accept him.</p><p>"Alice, I'm doing it for us." He suddenly stated as he took both her hands in his own, holding on tightly. She was a little caught of guard, not sure what she had to do with his will to make this u-turn in his life.</p><p>"Being in a relationship is very new for me, but I need you to know that I take this seriously." FP said softly, explaining the unasked question in her eyes.</p><p>In only the matter of a year, she had turned his life upside down in a way he could barely comprehend. After being so terrified of any kind of connection with her, after trying to push her away, she was still here. And now? He was willing to do anything to keep her around. He loved her and needed for her to know that their relationship was the most important thing in his life. For him, that meant that he needed to become part of the world again and slowly detach him from his lonely isolated existence in this cabin in the woods. Sorting out his stuff was just the first small step.</p><p>"When I look at you, I see my future. You changed my view on the world. I want to keep growing, together. And for me to do that is starting to organize my life so I can prove to you that I am worthy to be loved by you." His eyes twinkled with his love for her and together with the warm smile he gave her, she teared up.</p><p>It was a mystery to her how he could ever doubt that he didn't deserve her, when it felt as if she was the one that was very lucky to have met him, not the other way around. She took his face in her hands and smiled sweetly, her eyes glossing over by how much she loved the man she was looking at.</p><p>"You are worthy, FP. I love all of you. You don't have to change for me." She whispered to him as his hands fell on her waist. He held onto her a little tighter.</p><p>"I won't change. I am not sure I can. But Alice..." He looked straight into her ocean blue eyes who hypnotized him over and over again as he struggled for words. And though he had never been quite good explaining all that he felt, looking right at the love of his life made it so much easier.</p><p>"I want a life with you. I want to wake up next to you every single day. I want to care for you the way you care for me. I want to be responsible and give you everything you deserve. I love you." He said sweetly, his eyes filled with a hint of insecurity.</p><p>Pouring his heart out was something still so frightening to him, but since he started to believe more and more that she loved him just the same, his insecurities slowly faded. He'd gladly gave her his heart, because for the first time in forever he felt that he handed it to someone who would treat it with nothing but love and kindness.</p><p>"Every single time that I look at you it feels like I'm looking at the angel who saved me." His voice was a soft whisper, almost as if he wasn't aware he was saying those very words out loud.</p><p>"I'm no savior, FP. '' Alice croaked out as her hands fell from his face, afraid that he gave her the credit she didn't deserve. What if he would wake up one day and realize she wasn't the angel he believed she was? What if one day those rose colored glasses would disappear? Would he still love her the same?</p><p>"You're mine. And I want to try to be yours. I'll make it my priority to make you believe that you deserve nothing but pure love and happiness. I won't give up until I know for sure that you believe me." He told her firmly as he took her face in his hands, needing to make sure she was looking at him closely. When he had met her, he had expected for them to be opposites. And even when they were so different, they were also so the same.</p><p>"I love you so much." She whispered, before locking their lips together, that FP quickly melted into.</p><p>As he held her close, his hands holding onto her cheeks it felt like his whole world, the one that made it all worth it, was something that could never be taken away from him again.</p><p>His teeth softly bit her bottom lip to give himself access to her mouth, wanting to feel her tongue dance with his own. But before they could take things any further, there was a knock on the door. He slowly pulled back and turned his head to the door. When he looked back at Alice she raised her eyebrow to the question in his eyes. She had no idea who was there either.</p><p>FP let go off Alice and turned to his door, reaching it in a few steps and opening it a little apprehensive. At the other side was a dark haired boy with deep brown eyes and a serpent tattoo on his neck. He had seen him before at the Thanksgiving buffet.</p><p>"Sweet Pea, isn't it?" FP asked him, guessing his name. He had heard Veronica call his name in Pop's, which he had reminded because of the comment the teenager had made about his Serpent jacket.</p><p>"Yeah, sorry to interrupt. I thought you might want to see this." The boy felt a little awkward, but he figured that this news couldn't wait. He handed him over a statement from Sheriff Keller, made barely an hour ago.</p><p>"Hiram is behind bars?" His eyes had scanned the note.</p><p>FP could barely believe the news. Wasn't someone like Hiram Lodge always getting away with everything? Alice walked over to them and he handed her the note for her to read, her eyes growing as wide as his own.</p><p>"After the proof you sent Keller has been shadowing him. Appears that they caught him red handed this morning with a bunch of Ghoulies." Sweet Pea explained all he knew, which came directly from the Sheriff station. It was thanks to the couple that the case got solved and he was honored to be the one to share that news with them.</p><p>"Thank you for bringing us Keller's note." FP thanked him with a grateful nod. He smiled a little, feeling a wave of victory hit him. Maybe doing good would be rewarded by the universe.</p><p>"There is actually another reason I stopped by." He started and took a breath before he asked what had been on his mind ever since the Thanksgiving dinner.</p><p>"What is it?" FP encouraged him as he recognized the nerves in his eyes.</p><p>"If you're looking for a job, you could come work in the Wyrm. You know that place, don't you?" He asked hopefully. If he really had been a dedicated Serpent, then he should know the bar like no other.</p><p>"I do. Used to hang out there all the time." FP smiled as flashes of memories passed by. It had been like a second home to him. Whenever he couldn't be in the trailer or with Fred, the Serpents were the ones he felt most safe with. He wondered how the gang was doing now.</p><p>"The Serpents would love it if you'd come back to us. Honestly, we kinda need some guidance." Sweet Pea told him.</p><p>Ever since they had been left without a king, he had kind of taken the role, but as a teenager that was a big responsibility to have. He was very lucky to have Veronica and Cheryl who helped them out financially, but if Sweet Pea was being honest, he had a feeling that FP could give them what they needed-- someone to look up to, someone to come to for advive.</p><p>"I'd really love that. I'll stop by soon." FP promised, a beaming smile on his face. The boy nodded and gave him a smile, before turning around and walking towards his bike again, ready to leave to the southside of town.</p><p>After FP closed the door, he turned around with the biggest grin on his face. After feeling so useless, alone and unworthy, it was a great change to feel this loved and needed. It was time for him to live up to his full potential.</p><p>"Did you hear that? I got a job!" He smiled happily, lifted her up and playfully twirled her around. FP had never expected that the plan of getting his life back on track would go this smoothly. Almost as if the world opened up for him the second he started to open up to the world.</p><p>"I'm proud of you." Alice said sweetly. Seeing him this happy was one thing she had barely seen before and her heart made a little jump by the way he was radiating nothing but pure happiness. Things were truly changing for him.</p><p>His cheeks flushed a little, as he had a hard time believing that someone could ever be proud of him with his past. He wasn't even there yet, let alone that he expected anyone else to actually feel pride towards him. But she meant every word. By now, she could read the tiniest change in his eyes, noticing the insecurity and fear in there.</p><p>"Really, FP. I'm really proud." She assured him, pulling her hands around his shoulder and letting her fingers tickle the hairs in the base of his neck. Alice grinned and pulled him down to kiss her, continuing where they left off.</p><p>FP groaned softly when he felt her tongue stroking his lips, letting her in to let them melt together in a passionate, love filled, kiss. His whole body reacted to her touch and soon his hands started to search for every piece of skin he could feel. His hands crept under her sweater and softly stroke her stomach, before pulling away to look at her.</p><p>"Could you please wear my Serpent jacket?" He whispered lustfully, his eyes twinkling with mischief.</p><p>Alice smirked and took a few steps away from him and reached for the coat rack where said jacket was hanging. But before she could even pull it on, he grabbed her hand and shook his head.</p><p>"No, I mean... nothing but the jacket." He asked her shyly, his cheeks flushing. Ever since she had put it on when she found it in his closet, he couldn't get it out of his head. He wanted her, he wanted to worship every inch of her skin.</p><p>Alice smiled and playfully took her bottom lip between her teeth, knowing exactly how to drive him crazy. Her hands reached for the edge of her bordeaux red sweater and slowly, she took it over her head and threw it his way. He caught it with his hands and gulped when he saw the lingerie she was wearing. One thing was for sure-- everything looked good on her. But the black that was hugging all her curves in the right way was something he couldn't keep his eyes off. She was gorgeous.</p><p>She kept her eyes on him, barely blinking as she popped upon the button of her jeans and slowly pushed it over her ass, revealing her silky long legs. FP smiled softly as he looked at her. She was a sight for sore eyes. Though he could have watched her like this for hours, he couldn't ignore that he wanted to do way more than just looking at her. Once left in nothing but her dark lace lingerie, she took the Serpent Jacket in her hands again, playfully twirled around and put her arms into the sleeves.</p><p>"Is this what you had in mind?" She tiptoed her way over to him and let her fingers chase his chest through the cotton fabric. Her lips barely grazed hers, teasing him to chase her as she backed away every single time that she almost kissed him.</p><p>"Even better." He growled lowly and took her thighs in his hands to hoist her up, making her squeal in delight.</p><p>Before, he had never been quite the one to take the lead or take initiative for that matter, afraid to do anything wrong or hurt her, but the longer they were together, the more he felt comfortable to show new parts of himself. And to Alice? She was only more and more curious to find out new things about him. She was aware that most people thought she had a dominant personality, and though that was not necessarily untrue, she couldn't help but hunker to be dominated every once in a while.</p><p>His lips molded together with hers so perfectly, that he was sure that they were only made for one another. With his hands on her ass and her hands around his neck to hold onto something, he walked with her towards his bedroom. Carefully, he laid her down. He admired her angelic body as he hovered over her, still not believing that this woman was all his— mind, body, soul.</p><p>She tugged on the edge of this t-shirt, hinting that she wanted it gone. He smirked and first shrugged off his flannel, his shirt following a second later. Alice could look at him bare chested for hours. Not only did he look like a god to her, every scar, every piece of his skin told a little bit more about himself and she could read him for evermore.</p><p>Her hand reached for his jeans, wanting to undo him from his belt, but he caught her hand in his own and pressed a soft kiss on the palm. She was a little surprised, until he lowered himself down until he could reach her calves and softly started to press soft kisses there. Every time his lips touched her skin she felt goosebumps all over. It was so different from being with her ex-husband that the way she felt with FP made her realize that she maybe never really loved him in the first place. This? This was love. True love.</p><p>His lips started to trace over her long legs, up to the inside of her thighs were he paid a little bit more attention, his eyes closed as his senses stood at full attention. When he looked up at her, he gave her a warm smile. His fingers reached up for her panties and hooked it around his digits, but before he would go any further, he pushed himself up a little.</p><p>One look was enough to ask the question on his lips. Though this wasn't unfamiliar to them, he was about to make this all about her, every single second, every single touch. Alice had never once felt that he didn't do enough to show her how much he adored her body, but since intimacy had been such a big step for FP after years of being alone, their focus had always been on being comfortable together. That wasn't a question anymore. There wasn't a person on the planet they'd rather be with, or rather gave this part of their soul to.</p><p>Alice swallowed, but gave him an encouraging nod. It had been years since she had let someone in like this, but she could feel that the way her heart was pounding in her chest from excitement that she wished to be worshipped by him this way.</p><p>She never wanted Hal there, not like that. He didn't belong there, it had always felt wrong to let him in that way. But with FP? It just felt so incredibly right. He smiled at her and slowly dragged her panties down to her ankles and carefully threw them away.</p><p>His lips pressed another lingering kiss on her thigh, before his head ended up between her legs, finally letting himself dive in completely. Alice gasped from the sensation he gave her, making her back arch in pleasure. Her body immediately wanted more of him. Involuntarily, her hands started to hold onto his hair, as his tongue was exploring her in the most delightful way. He was being so gentle and soft with her, trying to map out every piece she was willing to give.</p><p>She looked down at the man she loved between her legs, with his tongue driving her crazy in a new way. And even when there had only been a few times before when they were together like this, she had a feeling as if he had always exactly known her body.</p><p>It was an odd feeling that someone who had been a stranger barely a year ago had grown into someone that she believed had always known her, as if their lives had always been tied to one another. His tongue teased her exactly right to make her body shiver in the most wonderful way and she was sure she could be like this for hours with these little sparks running through her veins.</p><p>FP gladly leant into the touch of her hand on his head as he tasted her, a feeling on his tongue one that he ever wouldn't forget. He was fully aware of how intimate this moment between them was, but he wasn't afraid anymore. Every single day he needed to remind himself that this bond between them was for real and that he had the honor of being with her like this, giving her his all.</p><p>The nails softly scratching his scalp encouraged him to help her over the edge. He took her legs in a tighter grip and his tongue played her in the exact rhythm that made her body twitch. Alice's body tingled because of his touch and she couldn't help but feel really desired for maybe the first time in her life. Having someone who loved her as much as FP did pleasuring her was a new thrilling and exciting feeling that was both scaring and so welcoming.</p><p>Her breathing became uncontrollable and as he continued being in his own little world, wanting for this moment of intimacy to never end. Alice's body started to tense when she came undone, her little cries of pleasure being music to his ears. After she slowly came back on earth, she realized that he was planting soft kisses on her legs again, making his way up to her face.</p><p>She grinned and took his face in her hands to kiss him deeply. One single kiss couldn't express all the sensation, love and gratefulness that was running through her veins, but the sweet and gentle way she let her tongue dance with his own almost made him tear up.</p><p>FP's hands reached up her spine and undid her bra, wanting to get rid of another piece of clothing. She looked beautiful in his jacket, but he wanted to see all of her. Nothing was more pure than their two naked bodies entwined with one another and he wanted to feel the magic that freed when they became one.</p><p>"We're not done yet. Take off everything." He whispered in her ear, making a shiver go over her spine.</p><p>Alice smirked and sat up to shrug off the jacket and the bra that he had unclasped. FP stood up from the bed to get rid of his jeans and boxers, leaving him in full glory right in front of her. Before she could even try to take the lead like she thought he preferred, he climbed up the bed and took her tiny waist in his hands and hovered over her, his lips chasing hers.</p><p>He took her leg in her hand and slowly inserted himself into her, making them melt together as one. She giggled in delight and finally kissed him again, her hands coming to hold his face. If he had the time, he would kiss her for the rest of his life, but he had other plans with her.</p><p>When he detached his lips from hers she protested a little, but her pout quickly changed into a moan of pleasure when his tongue circled around her nipple while the other one was being taken care of by his thumb and index finger. He grinned when he let go, letting their lips lock together immediately after.</p><p>One of his hands traveled from her leg up to her hand, making them entwine their fingers. He pushed their handhold roughly into the mattress, making her smile through their steamy kisses.</p><p>He thrusted into her slowly, wanting to take his time with her and really enjoy the moment they had, with the sun shining through the curtains, creating a beautiful golden shimmer on them. His other hand traveled up from teasing her breasts to end up on her throat. He gave it just the tiniest squeeze before softly breaking their lips.</p><p>"Is this okay?" He asked her softly, needing to ask her if he wasn't crossing a line. His heart was pounding in his chest, afraid that this might go to far.</p><p>But instead of rejecting his idea, she felt a shiver of excitement go over her spine. She smiled and gave him a nod with her eyes twinkling lustfully. So far, it had only been a fantasy of hers, but she was delighted to find out that he was ready to take over for a little bit.</p><p>His thrusts stayed slow, but instead he reached for as deep as he could, making her gasp with every single stroke. When he added some pressure on her neck to decrease the bloodstream towards her heads, she closed her eyes to enjoy every single spark of electricity that he was creating in her body.</p><p>When he slowly let go, she took his face into her hands and kissed him lovingly, as they panted through his slow thrusts.</p><p>"I love you." FP whispered between the featherlight kisses they stole as they slowly rocked in a comfortable rhythm, neither of them making any efforts of this being over soon.</p><p>"I love you too," Alice smiled, her hands resting in the base of his neck to softly tickle the hairs there. She had come to learn that he loved it when she did that.</p><p>**</p><p>Once wrapped up in the warm sheets of his bed, he looked at her in awe. Every part, every version of her was beautiful, but seeing her on cloud nine after making love to him was something he could never get enough of. His hands combed through her golden locks as he just watched her in complete silence. She smiled up at him, a happy twinkle in her eyes.</p><p>"That was new." Alice said quietly, her voice giddy.</p><p>"Was that okay? Did I go too far?" He asked her, just to make sure that all he had done wasn't crossing her boundaries. She had been so careful with him, he wanted to return that.</p><p>As a teenager he had been quite the womanizer, but he never had a woman in his bed that he loved this much and was so afraid to lose. He didn't want to do anything to upset her. And for someone who had been alone for so long, it was hard to figure out how far he could go in this stage of their relationship.</p><p>"I liked seeing this side of you." She smiled up at him, her hands playing with his hair.</p><p>"Maybe I'll show it more often. Don't mind you taking the lead, though." He said softly as he scooted over a little bit closer to her, even when that was almost impossible.</p><p>"We balance each other, don't we?" Alice thought out loud, her voice a soft whisper.</p><p>"We do." FP answered sweetly, before hovering over her and planting a gentle kiss on her lips.</p><p>He was so head over heels in love with her, and being with her in his bed, wrapped up in his sheets was a dream come true. He intertwined their hands and looked at their hold as he let their fingers play with one another.</p><p>"Sorry for being so new to this. This connection with you... sometimes I don't even understand it. For so long love was something I could never grasp. I feel like a complete fool sometimes." He chuckled a little uncomfortable, afraid to show his insecurities in their relationship.</p><p>He was aware that society expected for him to be the strong one, to take the lead, but he was glad that Alice gave him all the time and space to figure out together what worked for them.</p><p>"I know it's unusual for a man my age to have never been in a serious, committed relationship before, but I hope you know I am trying. I want to do everything to make you happy." He said softly, tears swimming in his eyes.</p><p>"Believe me, FP. You do. You make me happy." She cupped his cheek and pulled him down for another kiss.</p><p>He felt relieved, the pressure of needing to be perfect in order for them to work out fading away. It was all in his head, but every time she took those demons away he felt better.</p><p>"And don't worry, you're pretty good at this." She said sweetly, her finger tracing his jaw.</p><p>He smiled softly and laid down his head on the pillow. All he wanted for today was to fall asleep with her in his arms and sleep another few hours, before continuing with the big cleaning they had started this morning.</p><p>"Being in a relationship where I am this comfortable and open with someone? That is new for me too. We'll figure it out together." She told him, her voice a soft whisper. He shifted his head a little to look up at her and smiled. He had no words to be able to thank her for being who she was, so instead he kissed her once more. <em>Together</em>. He liked the sound of that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"The more that you say, the less I know<br/>Wherever you stray, I follow<br/>I'm begging for you to take my hand<br/>Wreck my plans, that's my man."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. The King's Loss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me<br/>Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>TW ⚠️: war flashbacks, character death</p><p>Alice gazed at her watch and hurried up the hill when she noticed how late she was. One whole hour. And since FP still didn't have a cellphone, she hadn't been able to reach him and tell him that she'd be home later. But on the other hand, he'd never been one to really pay attention to time, especially not when he was getting lost in his own work. It was what gave him most peace.</p><p>When she reached the cabin up the small hill, she expected to find him inside painting another one of his beautiful works. But nothing was less true.</p><p>"Sorry, the city council meeting lasted longer than we intended." She excused herself immediately when she walked in, not yet paying attention to the anxious look on FP's face.</p><p>But then she shrugged off her jacket to hang it up on the coat rack and her eyes grew wide when she saw the state he was in. He was breathing rapidly, his short shallow breath suddenly sounding like a loud echo in the small living room. His hands were clutching in the denim of his jeans in an attempt to hold onto something, anything.</p><p>"FP, what's going on?" She walked over to him immediately and sat down next to him, her eyes begging to meet his.</p><p>He looked at her, his eyes scared and sad, tears ready to fall. FP tried, but he couldn't talk. Something was blocking his vocal cords, making it impossible to make sense of what he was feeling. Alice knew enough, first she needed to help him calm down, they would talk later.</p><p>"Hey, hey. Breathe in, breathe out." She cupped his cheeks to make him look at her directly at her, telling him that she was here and that he didn't have to go through this alone.</p><p>Her piercing blue eyes looking right into his almost breaking soul was grounding him, a magic effect only she had. He followed her example and slowly calmed down, as his shoulders still shocked. Her presence made him slowly feel calmer, until he found himself able to speak again.</p><p>FP sniffed and loosened the grip on his knees, slowly relaxing his hand and fingers as he got control back. She let hand go of his face, to give him the space he needed while the other kept caressing his check.</p><p>"Where were you?" He cracked out, his lips slightly quivering.</p><p>"At work, like I said." She said softly, one hand caressing his dark locks and the other had slid down from his cheek down to his hand to hold it in her own.</p><p>"I thought something had happened to you." He confessed, his eyes still glossy.</p><p>Normally, he would have averted his gaze from her while sharing such a painful thought, but he was afraid that if he would look away from her, she'd disappear. The thought of the love of his life disappearing when he didn't pay attention for a second was making him more anxious than he could tell her and it was too much too handle.</p><p>Alice swallowed. He really had been worried. She should have been more careful and tried to reach out one way or another.</p><p>"I really thought I would never see you again." He said quietly, his eyes looking right into hers.</p><p>Seeing the pure fear and hurt that flashed over them made her heart ache. She never wanted to be responsible for his hurt and yet as for right now, she was. Though she couldn't have possibly known, she wished that he wouldn't be so scared of losing her. She would try every single day to make that fear less frightening.</p><p>Alice had no idea what to say, as she was processing what he had been so worried about. Someone being this afraid to lose her, that was new to her. All she had known was people rather wanting her gone, except for a fear of something awful happening to her. She couldn't recall anyone ever caring this deeply. It was terrifying, but beautiful.</p><p>"What if that will happen again someday?" He asked her, his voice low and soft. She intertwined their hands, a sign that she had him, that he wasn't alone and that she was here, forever.</p><p>"What if there will be a moment when I am waiting for you and you won't come?" FP was afraid to say those very words out loud, as if he was speaking it into existence.</p><p>The thought of not having her around one day was a demon that had been plaguing his mind ever since she had stayed over that one night and held him during the thunder. He had never been held with so much tenderness that he couldn't think of ever being without her again.</p><p>"Honey, look at me. That's not going to happen. I'll always come back to you. Always." She promised him, tears swimming in her eyes.</p><p>Every time, she came to learn that his hurt was rooted way deeper than she could ever imagine. But no matter how much more she would discover, she'd be with him through it all.</p><p>"How can you promise that?" He asked her, insecurely.</p><p>In his whole life, he had never believed in promises. With Fred? They had promised to turn this old abandoned cabin into a man cave to hang out. They had promised to be each other's brother and grow old together. FP had promised to keep him safe.</p><p>Neither of those things ever came true. Because one moment, all could be lost forever. How could Alice promise something huge like that, as his whole life it got proved that promises like that? They would always be broken.</p><p>"You need to trust me, okay?" She asked from him.</p><p>Alice was very well aware that trusting someone wasn't very easy for him, not when he had been by himself for so long. If you only had yourself to depend on, the only person you had to trust was yourself. And even that was hard. But he nodded. He did trust her, more than himself even. He relaxed a little as he exhaled, a feeling of peace washing over him as he looked at how her thumb stroke over his knuckles.</p><p>"Do you know how many times I've watched the door and waited for Fred to walk in?" FP said quietly, his cheeks flushing slightly.</p><p>He knew very well that no matter how long he would stare at his door, or dream of walks at Sweetwater River, or think about hanging out around the treehouse nearby, he wouldn't return. Even eighteen years later, there was a spark of hope that his friend was still out there, watching over him and just waiting for FP to meet him again. But that wasn't real, no matter how hard that was for him to accept.</p><p>"It's why I never went to town for so long... I expect to see him everywhere, but it never happens." He shook his head confused, as if he couldn't understand why he just wouldn't come back, when he prayed for it every single day.</p><p>"Does it feel that way when we go to town together?" Alice softly caressed his hair as she had scooted over as close to him as she could, the warmth of her body making him feel the slightest bit okay. It always was a reminder that she was real, that the woman he loved so much wasn't a dream.</p><p>"Sometimes. I can see him in the little things." He told her, his eyes glued to one of the elephants on his tiny coffee table.</p><p>But those little things? They would always lead to that one memory, the one that would always be printed into his brain. The very last moment he had looked in the eyes of his best friend.</p><p>
  <em>October 6h, 2002.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Deep inside the woods, patrol group C protecting the small town nearby. It had been awfully quiet the past two weeks, but today? Today things would change forever. The ground was shaking. Someone was coming closer. The soldiers had looked at each other, as if they were asking one another with so much of the blink of an eye if they had the same gut feeling. This was bad news. Coming in sight, were a couple of army tanks making their way up to their camp. The enemy was even stronger than they thought they were.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Stay inside! Nobody move!" The sergeant gathered his team together to hide in their bunker, one they luckily had for moments like these.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It didn't happen often, so FP's heart was racing when he heard those very words. Even when the sergeant wasn't saying it out loud, FP could see that he was scared. He was, too. They were fighters, strong men who wanted to do the right thing, but sometimes hiding at the right moment was the brave thing to do.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Did you count heads?" Fred asked his boss, looking seemingly more calm than everybody else, who tried to make their way into the bunker as fast as he could.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Go hide, Andrews. This is no drill." He warned him, pushing him a little aside. They had to close the doors, before imposters would enter and do something brutal that everyone would regret.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What if someone is out there? We have to check!" Fred argued with him, growing frustrated. How he could look so fearless was beyond FP, and though he understood that he wanted to make sure everyone was safe, they had to bring themselves into safety, too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fred, come here. You heard with the sergeant said." FP tried to pull him his way. He understood his concern, but no wasn't the time to play the hero.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We're all brothers here, FP. No man gets left behind." Fred yanked back his arm and sent him a look that he couldn't quite understand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was an odd mix of determination and peace. As if no vein in his body was scared of the danger nearby. Though, it was typical for Fred to make sure everyone was safe, even if that meant a huge sacrifice from himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You don't even know if someone is there!" FP shot back, wanting nothing more for both of them to be safe.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He felt like a coward, but this wasn't just anything. People with bad intentions were on their way, and he wasn't planning on fighting them with his fists. It would be the end of them, if they wouldn't hide in the bunker. They had been trained for this and FP wanted to protect his best friend.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm going to make sure." Fred answered stubbornly, already turning towards the door mid sentence.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was as if he didn't have any fright inside of him. The feeling of brotherhood was stronger than anything for Fred Andrews. It was what he always did; putting anyone else first.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fred!" FP called after him and looked for the sergeant around, who was busy getting everyone else in safety.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"For Christ sake." He hissed through his teeth, but ran after his friend nonetheless.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Where is Andrews?" The sergeant stopped FP right in front of the door, his eyes looking around to find the last member of his team. While he had gone outside, everyone else had gone inside just in time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Outside, checking on the team." FP said quickly, somehow feeling in his gut that he needed to get his friend back inside as soon as possible.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But then there was that sound. The one that would haunt him for the following two decades. Someone had opened the weapons, and FP knew for sure that it wasn't Fred.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fred!" He yelled, immediately brushing past the sergeant as fast as he could.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When he opened the door of the home front, he was met with his best friend, his brother, laying there in the middle of the ground in the dark woods that suddenly seemed to close them in to take all their oxygen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fucking hell, Fred!" FP called from the top of his lungs as he ran over to the body off his friend and cradled him in his arm.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In a desperate attempt, he tried to stop the wound in his chest from bleeding. He had nothing more than his own hand, which barely did anything. Still, FP felt in his bones that he had to try, with anything. This couldn't be the end, he had to fight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His body was shaking as he looked at the blood that kept in flowing, staining his own uniform. Fred's eyelids were twitching, as if he had to do everything to keep his eyes open and not surrender to the sweet veil of death.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hey, I've got you. Alright, stay with me." FP pleaded softly, his tears streaming down to his chin, his mind already knowing what his heart didn't want to accept.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"GET HELP!" He yelled from the top of his lungs, his face immediately turning back to Fred.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As carefully as he could, he held his body close and put as much pressure on the wound as possible, feeling like it was the only chance to save his friend's life. FP knew that it was hopeless, but he would never give up on his friend. The two decades that would follow would prove that statement.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come, it's going to be fine. Keep your eyes open, bud." FP encouraged him softly, his hand coming to rest on his cheek to softly pat his skin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But Fred could barely register his voice, his body already surrendering but his spirit still fighting to stay alive. He could hear FP, as if he was far, far away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fred, listen to me. You need to stay here." FP said more firmly, taking his face into his hand, the other one still on the deep wound on his chest.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"SOMEBODY!" He screamed again, the sergeant now running his way. He bend down right next to them, taking over FP's attempts to still the wound. But no matter how hard they tried, they knew it was too late. They were losing him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't slip away now, you can't Fred, you can't." FP pulled his arms around him and held him as close as possible, not wanting to lose him like this. It wasn't fair. One single second could've made a change. Why did he always have to be the hero? Why couldn't he for once choose for himself?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I promised to Mary to keep you safe. I'm not coming back without you, you hear me?" He kept on talking to him as he cried, but Fred's eyelids started to twitch a little less, as even his spirit was now surrendering.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're my brother man, I need you, I can't do this without you." FP cried, his tears dripping from his chin down to Fred's chest, where the sergeant looked up at the two in defeat. He had failed one of his soldiers, the ones he had sworn to look after. Today, they lost a hero. A hero called Fred Andrews.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was so close to giving up, to letting go forever, knowing that this was his very last moment on earth. And in those very last seconds, he looked at his brother's brown eyes, ones that he had known ever since he had started to walk.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With his very last power, his fingers twitched up, trying to reach for his hand for the very last time, telling him that it was okay. That FP could let go, too. He looked at Fred's hand and immediately took it into his own. He was with him. He was going to hold him until it was all over.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I love you, buddy. I love you so much." He cried silently, his heart shattering in a thousand pieces.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>FP held Fred's body in a tight grip, afraid to let go ever again. A man like Fred didn't deserve an end like this, and yet it were his last seconds on this cruel world as he passed in the arms of his best friend.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then, the clouds turned dark. The moment he felt Fred's grip loosen and his eyelids closed for good, was when FP lost the one that had always been at his side, the one that he could've never imagined his life without. But he was gone. Fred's spirit had let go. And for FP? Decades of isolation, grief and self destruction had started, the sun disappearing for what he thought would be forever.</em>
</p><p>FP sniffed softly but wiped away his tears with the palm of his hand. No more isolation. No more self destruction. Still grief, but no more letting it take complete control.</p><p>"Honey, Fred isn't coming back, I'm sorry." Alice said softly, a crack in her voice betraying that she was tearing up as she saw him like this.</p><p>Though she knew it was the one thing that she couldn't do, she wished she could bring him back. Even if it was for just a moment for FP to hug his brother one more time.</p><p>"I know, I know." He said, looking at her with a soft smile.</p><p>FP didn't want to stay like this. He didn't want another twenty years of complete isolation. He wanted to be open to the world again and make up for all the years that he had lost. Fred would forever have a place in his heart that nobody could ever replace, but he was willing to let the sun in again.</p><p>"But don't you think it's beautiful that you can still see him around you? Isn't it a comforting thing that a vanilla milkshake at Pop's reminds you of him because it was his favorite?" Alice said sweetly, her hand tangling with his own.</p><p>He loved it when she held his hand. It was comforting and always a reminder that after so long, he wasn't alone anymore. It brought him comfort to think that Fred was the one who sent her his way. Maybe he wasn't fully gone, which he liked to believe because of Alice's warm presence.</p><p>"Or that you can still see him walking around Riverdale High?" Alice asked, smiling a little.</p><p>Grief wasn't only painful, it could be bittersweet and comforting. She knew that he saw him everywhere around and she hoped that he could find what he was looking for, what he had missed for so long.</p><p>"Maybe even the sight of a shooting star, like he's telling you he's right there following your every step and protecting you from above?" She whispered, taking their handhold up to her lips to press a sweet kiss there.</p><p>There would be many people to think that anyone who saw a deceased love one walking around in town to be a lunatic, or at least someone who needed help for the denial they were in. But he wasn't crazy. He wasn't in denial either. Seeing Fred walk around in the places they used to go was the one thing that made him keep hope that there was something more after death, a beautiful place for heroes like Fred.</p><p>"It is. But it's also overwhelming. Sometimes it's just too much." He said quietly, taking his hand back to pull it around her. On small moments like these, he wanted her close more than anything else.</p><p>"And when it feels that way, I'm there for you to help you through it." She told him sweetly. He looked at her and smiled. Having someone in his corner was something he was still getting used to. It felt right.</p><p>"Sorry. I must scare you away." He said a little insecure.</p><p>When his own grief had been his for longer than he could remember, it was still hard to realize that now he had someone who loved him unconditionally, that the parts of him that he wanted to keep hidden were hers, too.</p><p>"You don't. I love you, FP. Nothing is going to change that." She took his face into her hands and looked at him with sparkling eyes.</p><p>"I'll never leave. I promise you that, okay?" Her words were so sincere, that he couldn't do anything else but believe her. He wanted to.</p><p>"Okay." He nodded and leant in to connect their lips in a kiss, one that she happily accepted.</p><p>When he pulled back, he had the softest smile on his face, one that immediately made her tear up. There was something so gentle and warm about how he looked at her and the butterflies he gave her were ones she was still getting used to.</p><p>Being in love with him was one of the most beautiful things she had ever experienced. Love was so much more than an appearance, than a promise long made between two people who weren't meant to be together anymore. It was his tender touch, it was the way he looked at her with so much passion, telling her with one look that he would never, ever, hurt her.</p><p>She had grown to believe she was the cold person believe told her she was, and for a long time she had been okay with that. She was better off alone, she thought. But falling in love with FP had been something that came so sudden, that she couldn't fight it nor did she want to. He awakened something new in her, and for that she was forever grateful.</p><p>"After what happened to Lily... and how it made my marriage with Hal implode, I never thought I could love someone this much again." She said quietly, her shimmering blue eyes glossing over with tears. He held her a little closer, feeling that she was about to share something that was difficult for her.</p><p>"When I moved here, I thought I was going to be the Ice Queen everyone believed I was. You changed all that. You melted all the walls around me when I believed nobody would ever be able to even come close." Alice wasn't sure she could ever thank him for giving her something that she thought didn't exist. Her dark days had faded, night didn't seem to exist anymore. Only daylight.</p><p>"Did I do that? Alice, I'm just... me. And you? You're so much more. You're meant for greater things and yet you chose to be with someone with years of baggage to unpack." He shook his head the slightest bit.</p><p>How she could ever love him the way she did was a mystery he was still trying to solve, but even if he would never find the answer, he tried to believe it for as long as he could.</p><p>"You're not just you. You saved me as much as I saved you. We can unpack our baggage together. We've got this." She said confident, a sparkle in her eyes that made him chuckle a little. Every single time, she knew how to take away any of his doubts. They were in it for the long haul, she wouldn't back out.</p><p>"Thank you for not leaving me every single time I try to give you a way out." He said sweetly, his eyes twinkling.</p><p>No matter how many times he'd tell her to run, she always stayed exactly where she was, right there with him. And for that, he could never thank her enough. He never felt like the one to be worth staying for, but she made him wonder that maybe it was okay to love himself.</p><p>"I think you need to start believing that the only person I want to be with is you, FP." She nuzzled his nose against his and he chuckled happily. He kissed her, wanting nothing more than to kiss her for the rest of his life.</p><p>"Come, they are waiting for you at the Wyrm." She stood up and extended her hand in his. Time for him to go to work.</p><p>He had been having a good first month at his new job. When he had started, he had been afraid that he would be overwhelmed being around so many people at once, but to his surprise it was something that made him feel alive. His presence was appreciated and the Serpents came to him for advice as if it had always been like that.</p><p>**</p><p>Alice sat down on the barstool when FP passed her over her drink and walked back from behind the counter to stand close to her. A few of the Serpents were playing pool, and he made a teasing comment if she was up to play with him one time. All was good tonight. FP had a place to feel home and the young teenagers were helping him as much as he was helping them. They were a family.</p><p>"Can I have everyone's attention?" Sweet Pea stood on one of the tables and patted the head of the microphone and then turned to his friend.</p><p>"Fangs, stop fucking around and turn on my mic." He ordered him with a grin. He had an announcement to make. Fangs laughed and turned on the mic.</p><p>"Alright, welcome everyone." He smiled to everyone that had gathered around, most of them the teenage Serpents.</p><p>"As you know, today we got together to celebrate that we welcome a Serpent back into the family." Sweet Pea locked eyes with FP, who was a little caught off guard with this mention. Did he really deserve something like that after not reaching out to the gang for so long?</p><p>"We should've never misjudged you, FP. Serpents take care of their own and we should have had your back." Even when they had never purposely spread rumours about him, they had never stopped Cheryl and Veronica either. For that, they were sorry for eternity.</p><p>"I speak for all of us that we're happy to have you back. The last few years have been difficult for us, especially when a lot of us only had each other." He looked around the room, among them even a few kids that hadn't even started high school but already seen too much of life and all its cruelty.</p><p>"We have Cheryl and Veronica who give us all the financial support we need, with in particular the kids in our family." Sweet Pea smiled slightly, besides the guilt for what they did for FP, also a feeling of pride for the shelter they could give the ones that couldn't get it themselves. He knew like no other how it was to grow up without parents.</p><p>"But something is missing." He looked back at FP, who still looked at him a little bewildered.</p><p>"Lots of us don't have someone to look up to, someone to go for advice. An adult to confide in. However, we believe we had found someone." He smiled at him, and FP's mouth fell open a little. Was he...?</p><p>"FP, would you do us the honor to become our King?" Sweet Pea asked, all eyes turning FP's way.</p><p>He swallowed hard. For years, he had always seen himself as someone who people rather be away from, the one they should be scared of. That we're the stories about him. Now the tables were turning, and he specifically got asked to guide people, to help them through the trouble he had gone through as a kid.</p><p>"You want me to be Serpent King? Me?" He gestured to himself, afraid that he was misunderstanding. Would they really want someone like him to look over them? Would they trust someone who couldn't even protect his best friend?</p><p>"We think we can learn a lot from you. Are you willing to think about it? Like I told you, we need guidance. We hope you can give us that." Sweet Pea encouraged him, a soft smile appearing on his face, a sight that was very rare to see.</p><p>"I don't know what to say... thank you for such an honor. I would love to do that." FP teared up a little but swallowed his tears. People trusted him. They believed in him. Something he hadn't even done himself the past two decades.</p><p>The teenagers started to cheer, all anxious from the moment Sweet Pea had first proposed to ask FP for the job.</p><p>"Can you believe that?" He turned to Alice, shaking his head with a happy smile on his face. She couldn't recall him ever smiling like that. People believing in him did him goods</p><p>"Hmm, so I am dating the Serpent King now?" Alice teased, her arms snaking around his neck.</p><p>"Seems like it. Are you okay with that?" He asked her sweetly, his hands naturally coming to rest on her waist. Things were changing fast and part of him was still a little afraid that it would be too much for Alice. But those fears were just in his head, because she was prouder of him than anyone.</p><p>"More than okay." She bit her bottom lip and kissed him softly, telling him with a tender touch that she believed in him, too.</p><p>"We make a cute duo together. Mayor and gang leader..." FP teased a little, swaying them slightly. Alice giggled. They were indeed an extraordinary team.</p><p>"That we do." She whispered and pulled his face down to connect their lips once again, making him smile into the kiss. Things were truly changing. Life was great. And maybe, it had always been.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"I should've asked you questions<br/>I should've asked you how to be<br/>Asked you to write it down for me<br/>Should've kept every grocery store receipt<br/>'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Storm and Sunshine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons<br/>One single thread of gold tied me to you."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>FP made his way into Pop's diner, his stomach grumbling by the thought of having one of their famous burgers. After not having any of his favorite foods for two decades, he was trying to make up for all he had missed out on. Besides, he wasn't really in the mood to cook tonight. He'd surprise Alice with take-out, as she was crazy about it too.</p><p>When he entered, he saw Cheryl grabbing her bag before she kissed Veronica goodbye, both of them looking at each other happily in love. It was a beautiful sight, especially considering FP had heard from Alice that Cheryl's family wasn't really supportive of their relationship. And Veronica? Well, she got betrayed by her dad. Seeing her smile was a nice change.</p><p>Cheryl greeted FP before she left out of the diner, sending him a warm smile. He smiled back, relieved of how things had changed. People welcomed him again, a new feeling that he could get used to. Strangely enough, he had really started to love being around others.</p><p>"You two look happy." FP smiled at Veronica when he stopped at the counter.</p><p>"We are. We really are." The girl beamed, a happy twinkle in her eyes that FP was sure was because of Cheryl and Cheryl only.</p><p>"What can I get you?" She took her notepad to write down his order.</p><p>"Two cheeseburgers with fries, two iced teas and two brownies for dessert. To go, please." He asked her politely.</p><p>She scribbled down his order and turned to the back, to go make it for him. It was a quiet night in Pop's, normally it was crowded with people but with the rain out it appeared that people were staying in.</p><p>However, FP didn't mind, all eyes on him still felt a little uncomfortable. At least he could order in peace now. Veronica returned with his take-out bag not much later and handed it over to him.</p><p>"Here you go," The girl smiled. He took a few bills out of his wallet and placed it on the counter.</p><p>"Keep the change." He smiled politely and turned around to get back to his bike that he had parked outside, but before he could leave, Veronica's voice called from behind him.</p><p>"Sorry, FP... for not apologizing before. I feel awful about it." She said shyly, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment. FP turned around again, his eyebrow furrowed in confusion.</p><p>Though they had already publicly apologized for spreading and believing the rumors they told about him, she could still barely sleep because of what she had done. In the game of her father she had misjudged an innocent man and after finding out, she suddenly questioned every single thing her father had ever told her.</p><p>"All is fine, you know that right?" He asked her, afraid that the two girls were still carrying guilt that they shouldn't carry anymore. But no matter how many times FP repeated it, it was hard to feel that it was really all okay.</p><p>"That's what you said, but Cheryl and I have a lot to make up for. And my Dad... I am so sorry he made you believe you did it when it was him all along." She told him, her eyes glossing with tears.</p><p>That her father was behind the drug trade was one thing she would probably never fully forgive him for, but using her to spread rumors and frame another man was something she would have never, <em>ever</em>, expected.</p><p>FP made his way back to the counter, to make sure he could look at her properly. It had never been the rumors, or Hiram's words that had upset him. He was alright with being on his own. That a father had stabbed his own daughter in her back was way worse, according to him.</p><p>"He's your father, you thought he was protecting you from a bad guy. I don't blame you for that. Daughters should be able to trust their dads." He told her with a sad frown on his face.</p><p>FP would never hold a grudge on a teenage daughter who obviously thought that her dad only wished the best for her. It had never been her or Cheryl's fault.</p><p>"Yeah... well, turns out he only used me." Veronica scoffed lowly, averting her gaze from him as she absentmindedly cleaned the counter with a cloth just so her hands had something to do.</p><p>"Sorry, I won't bother you with this." She dismissed it immediately and turned around to the back after giving him a soft smile, but he wasn't leaving her all alone in an empty diner all by herself when she was clearly upset.</p><p>"Veronica, wait..." He called after her. She turned around.</p><p>"You know, if you want to hang out with the Serpents more, become a part of the group, you're more than welcome to. Same goes for Cheryl. You might not be from the Southside but the both of you have done a lot to give them a home. You're part of the family." He told her, a soft glow on his face.</p><p>For a really long time, the Serpents had been for Southsiders who were looking for a family, or who simply just needed any kind of support. It had always been a group of people who looked out for each other and who knew what kind of injustice they were facing.</p><p>But now? It was about more than that. Anyone who needed a family, a home, was welcome. Veronica and Cheryl had done so much to give the young kids in the Serpents a place to stay, or even were the ones that kept them fed and helped them survive. They were always welcome.</p><p>"Would you really be okay with that? After all we've done to you and Alice?" Veronica asked in little disbelief, not sure why someone like FP would ever give something so valuable to her and Cheryl. She believed they didn't deserve that. Or at least, she didn't, not after what her father had done.</p><p>"It's in the past, I promise. It sounds like you need a family. We can give you one." He told her softly. Veronica smiled warmly. It was the most generous thing someone had ever offered her.</p><p>"Thank you, FP." She was eternally grateful to have people around who had a good heart and a loving soul.</p><p>After growing up in the Lodge family with one parent who used you for their criminal activities and the other one moving to New York without a second thought, this was a nice feeling for a change.</p><p>**</p><p>FP had spread out their food on the small coffee table so they could eat together snuggled up on the couch. However, Alice had been home a little later, something that was slowly becoming a habit. This time, he didn't freak out anymore. She had bought him a very simple cell phone that he only used to receive her texts or pick up her call, but at least he was aware if she was being late.</p><p>But something had changed the last couple of days. She had been home later and later and her mind seemed to be somewhere else, even when it was supposed to be at the cabin, with the two of them.</p><p>When she finally came home from work, she hung up her jacket, gave him a kiss and sat down next to him on the couch to see what he had brought for dinner. FP could sense that something was wrong, as she seemed to have trouble looking him into his eyes.</p><p>"Hey... are you alright?" He put away his cheeseburger and took her hand in his own to squeeze it softly.</p><p>"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" Alice asked him, pretending just a little too much to make it believable. She took a sip of her ice tea and wanted to grab some fries, but he stopped her movements.</p><p>"You've been working like a maniac. The drug trade is over, shouldn't you rest now?" He asked her a little hesitant, afraid to strike a nerve.</p><p>FP understood that the Jingle Jangle case had asked a lot of her attention and he knew how much she loved her job, he would never blame her for that. But something wasn't right.</p><p>"It's fine. A few extra hours won't kill me." She shrugged and took her hand back from his own, the warm feeling of his skin now leaving hers immediately making her shiver.</p><p>"No, that's not what I am saying... I am worried about you. You don't look okay." He told her, his voice soft and inviting.</p><p>FP didn't want to overstep, but if there was one person he had grown to know, it was her. Every change in her eyes, even the slightest bit, had been something he had come to recognize. She stayed silent and looked down at the plate of fries she had in her lap. Her appetite had completely vanished.</p><p>"Alice, why are you working so much?" He asked her worriedly, seeing the tears swim in her eyes.</p><p>"I know there is something going on. What is it?" Again, he took her hand in his, and this time she didn't take it back.</p><p>She hated that he saw right through her and at the same time, it was all she needed. Hal had never paid attention to her wellbeing. He had never been great at sensing whether she was upset or not and even if he did, he simply didn't care.</p><p>With FP, things were different. He always wanted to make sure she was okay. Alice took a breath, afraid to say the words out loud that she had never said to anyone. And though she knew perfectly well why she always used working as her coping mechanism, admitting why was something she had never done. Not even to herself.</p><p>She had a habit of not looking someone in the eye when she was vulnerable, but this was FP sitting next to her, wanting to know what she was running from. The man she loves, the man she trusts. His eyes had grown to be something to ground her, and so she couldn't do anything else but to look at him.</p><p>"Sometimes... I am terrified that if I let out the demons that are screaming to be let free, that they will kill me. When I am alone, it feels like they are almost winning. So, when I work... I am the one in the lead. It's how I survive." She confessed with a crack in her voice, her eyes glossing over as she spoke. His hand came to rest on her thigh, his fingers softly stroking her skin through the denim of her jeans.</p><p>When she had lost Lily, she had thrown herself into her work so it wouldn't suffocate her any longer. It had been unhealthy, she knew that, but even though she could recognize that it was happening again, she couldn't stop it on her own.</p><p>"Pain isn't always cruel." He told her, trying to ease the situation.</p><p>"That's a thing people who don't feel anything else tell themselves to feel better." She huffed and rolled her eyes.</p><p>Not even a second later, she realized what she had said. Her cheeks flushed red and she immediately looked at him with guilt written all over her face. She could see the flash of hurt in her eyes and she hated that she was the one causing it. He looked away for a bit and swallowed away his tears.</p><p>"Sorry," She said quietly, her eyes searching for his.</p><p>He wasn't mad, the opposite. Her words stung because she was right. It was something he had to tell himself not to feel even worse. Alice scooted over closer to him and intertwined their hands. She needed to feel the warmth of his skin.</p><p>"There is a beauty in hurt when it's not all you can feel, because it passes. It makes you appreciate the good days. But what if those are never coming?" Her voice was trembling as her dark thoughts found a way out after far too long and though she knew she shouldn't listen, day by day they only got louder.</p><p>"Is that how you feel? Like you're surviving instead of living?" FP asked her softly, his thumb slowly caressing her knuckles.</p><p>"I think I do." She answered, her eyes drifting away, afraid to look at him and see his concern.</p><p>Alice knew that it wasn't fair to drop all of this on him, not after they had been doing so well. She had been happier than ever since she met FP, but it didn't change everything. She was still hurting. She still had something traumatic to process, which sometimes just seemed impossible.</p><p>"But you... you are the only one who really makes me feel alive. When I am with you... the rest of the world doesn't seem to matter." Alice reached with her hand to his cheek and softly touched the rough stubble. He was keeping her afloat, that she knew.</p><p>"But sometimes, those voices are loud. Louder than anything." She confessed quietly, a tear escaping her eyes. FP softly wiped it away as he gave her the time to speak.</p><p>And though their hurt was so different, yet it always felt exactly the same. He knew like no other that having a loving partner didn't fix every single thing. It could scare away the dark clouds and bring back the sun, but that didn't mean there wouldn't be cloudy or even dark rainy days anymore.</p><p>"How long ago did you feel like the sun was shining for you, FP?" Alice looked back up to him, her eyes curious.</p><p>"When you walked into my home." He told her honestly as he untangled their hand hold to cup her cheek. He needed for her to look at him, to see the endless love he had for her.</p><p>Ever since she had come into his life by the force of some miracle, his life had been turned upside down. He changed for the better and tried every single day to become the person he felt like he should be. She was his sun and he never wanted for that light to go away.</p><p>"I didn't even know I could understand what feeling the sun meant. But you made me feel all that, Alice." He whispered sweetly as he sent her a warm smile.</p><p>But Alice couldn't return the gesture. Her eyes filled with tears and her lip quivered. It was too much. She turned her head, making his hand fall off her face and she stood up from the couch.</p><p>"Don't put that pressure on me, that's not fair." She said suddenly, her voice cracking as she turned away from him.</p><p>The reason she was so scared of his words, was because he made her feel the exactly same way. He stopped her from drowning, he helped her see the beauty of life again. But she also knew that she couldn't depend on him for her happiness, which is why it was frightening to hear that maybe he depended on her for his happiness.</p><p>FP's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and concern as he tried to figure out what he had said wrong. He had told her over and over again what she meant to him and he wondered why that had suddenly triggered something inside of her. He never meant to pressure her, he just wished for her to know what she had given him.</p><p>Alice didn't want for him to see her cry, not when this part of her was one she never wanted anyone to see, not after what happened with Hal. What if FP would decide he couldn't handle this? What if they would find out that they were too broken to be together?</p><p>"I am sorry." He had stood up from the couch as well and slowly approached her, but kept enough distance for her to be the one to come to him.</p><p>Alice softened a little and let her shoulder relax as she turned around, her eyes meeting his. She looked so afraid and FP was scared that she had carried pain with her that he should have asked about before, instead of giving her the feeling that she couldn't tell him everything.</p><p>She had always been there to hold him and had never ran away when he told her to. It was his turn to make sure she was feeling loved and to promise her that every demon that was still haunting her would be driven away by him, even if it was the last thing he'd do.</p><p>"You don't understand. I destroy. I don't heal. How can you see me as the sun when I am the storm that ruins everything?" She said quietly, her tears making their way down from the corner of her eyes down to her cheeks. The sight of it hurt like a knife through his heart.</p><p>"Alice?" He said softly as he took another step into her direction, still a distance between them, but close enough to hold her if she wanted him to. She looked up at him, her lip twitching slightly and her eyes asking for something that he couldn't quite read, yet.</p><p>"I don't let anybody come close. Ever. But with you? I didn't have a choice. It was meant to be like that. And maybe it's not fair to tell you that you freed a very deeply isolated part of myself that I believed couldn't be reached by anybody. But you did. And maybe hearing that scares you so much, because you feel the same about me and you're terrified that I'll ruin you."</p><p>He took the last step he needed to wrap his arms around him, which he did oh so slowly, giving her a chance to take a step away if she didn't want him to. But she did. She wanted his touch, she wanted his warmth. She needed someone that made sure that she was loved after being used to people running away whenever she became vulnerable.</p><p>His hands on her lower back pulled her close to his own body. He could see his own reflection in the pool of tears in her eyes.</p><p>"After Fred, I never wanted to make another promise. I couldn't keep it and I never wanted to break one again. But there is one thing, that I can promise you, Alice. I won't ruin you. And you won't ruin me." He said softly, his nose brushing against hers.</p><p>Saying those words out loud gave him the realization that for the first time in his life, he was completely sure that he could love someone without getting hurt, without doubting that it would take something from him that he couldn't emotionally afford to lose. It was all because of Alice. She made him believe in something he had always thought to be impossible.</p><p>Alice cried softly as he listened to his words, her heart glowing because of his love and adoration for her, which was still a brand new feeling that she couldn't explain. Not once, she had doubted that her heart and soul wanted to be with him and that she would never, ever, do something to hurt him.</p><p>But believing that he felt the exact same way about her, even after with how much love and tenderness he had treated her, had been something that she had trouble with. However, the man who was holding her so close loved her with all that he had in him, making her feel the luckiest woman one earth. She had found her prince, her soulmate.</p><p>"I'll try with everything I have in me to understand your scars the way you try to understand mine. I know that isn't going to be easy. I have a habit of isolating myself rooted deep inside me, and you run as fast as you can from all that hurts you. But something crucial has changed. We're not alone, not anymore. I've got you. You've got me. And I believe that together we can go from surviving to living."</p><p>FP ended his speech of love for her, his eyes sparkling with unconditional love and determination. He was going to make it his priority to make sure that the woman that was the owner of his heart would never doubt again that he loved every single bit of her, scars included.</p><p>"How come you want to go through all that trouble for me? One day you are going to wake up and realize I am not worth it, FP. Everyone else did." Alice shook her head sadly, her tears still streaming like there was no end.</p><p>Her shoulders shocked softly as she sobbed and she held onto his chest as if that could make sure he wouldn't be taken away from her. The hands that had been staying on her lower back now softly began to lovingly stroke her back up and down, his eyes radiating a calmness that was even new for FP. He had never been the one to give someone else comfort and yet it was all she wanted, all she needed.</p><p>"I love you, Alice. And I am going to help you to start loving yourself." He promised her sweetly.</p><p>He tilted his head a little to connect their lips, momentarily stopping her soft cries. Kissing her was something he would never get enough off, but it was so much more than that. He could let her feel how much he loved her with a simple touch, one that was filled with so tenderness that it stopped her tears.</p><p>"I am not so sure I deserve that or deserve you." Alice said quietly when she pulled back, her voice raspy. Softly, his hands reached for her cheeks to wipe away the remaining tears.</p><p>"You do. You deserve even more than what I can give you. But as long as you'll have me I will give you my all and I hope you'll give me all of you." He told her, his eyes twinkling with such softness, that the gloss in her eyes turned into a happy, grateful, one.</p><p>"I love you." She said in a faint whisper, now taking his face in her hands to connect their lips once more.</p><p>They way their lips melted together was another sign to her that he was indeed her soulmate, as she couldn't believe that anyone else would fit like a perfect puzzle piece with her as he did.</p><p>"Sorry." Alice blushed slightly when she pulled back. His hands had gone back to softly stroking her back, the motion seemingly to have a calming effect on her.</p><p>"What for?" He asked her.</p><p>"For freaking out." She answered, her eyes casting away.</p><p>"That's alright. We can go through that together. Remember when you told me you'd be here to help me if I felt that way? I will do the same for you." He promised her.</p><p>Ever since they had met, she had been here to hold his hand and had given him all the time he had needed to open up to her. That was special. She could have ran, like anybody else. But she hadn't. And he wouldn't run away from her demons either. He would fight with her to make sure they wouldn't haunt her anymore.</p><p>"It's so strange to realize I've never been a <em>we</em> before. It feels nice." FP chuckled a little as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.</p><p>She smiled up at him for the first time that evening. A sweet giggle escaped her mouth right before she pressed a kiss to his lips. He smiled as he pulled back and intertwined their fingers. Tonight, all he wanted was to cuddle with her until they would fall asleep.</p><p>"Come, let's eat our dinner and go to sleep after, you must be tired." He playfully nudged his nose against hers.</p><p>"Thank you." She squeezed his hand and he kissed her once more, telling her that he'd be there for her another thousand times if that was what she needed.</p><p>He was right. They weren't alone anymore. They had each other now, to face any ghost from their past.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"I had a feeling so peculiar<br/>This pain wouldn't be for<br/>Evermore."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Are We There Yet?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"And I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates<br/>Then you won't have to cry<br/>Or hide in the closet<br/>And just like a folk song<br/>Our love will be passed on."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>FP had climbed out of bed early in the morning, still dressed in his pajama shirt and his sweatpants. He peaked through the curtains to see that it was still dark out there, with just a few rays of sun coming through. After the coffee was done, he poured the fresh brew into two mugs and took it with him so they could wake up in bed together and watch the sunrise.</p><p>When he shuffled back to the bedroom, he stopped in the threshold to look at his sleeping girlfriend. The first rays of sunshine were creating a golden glow in the room through the deep red curtains and she looked like a real princess who could be woken up by the sound of birds any second.</p><p>She stirred a little in her sleep and her eyes fluttered open. A smile curled on her lips at the sight of him at the bedroom door. That sweet look on his face was one she would never get enough of.</p><p>"Hey sleeping beauty." He smirked, still watching her from the threshold. The golden rays of sunshine on her hair was something he was trying to remember, to use it for one of his works.</p><p>"Hey, you." Alice said sleepily, stretching her body.</p><p>"Aren't you coming back to bed?" She pushed herself up a little to have a better look at him. Her hair was messy and she didn't have a stitch of make-up on her face, but she was a work of art.</p><p>"I like watching you." FP said sweetly, a grin on his lips.</p><p>"Come watch me up close." She teased and gestured with her head for him to come her way.</p><p>He chuckled and walked over to his bed, placed the two coffee mugs on his nightstand before climbing back under the sheets with her. He snuggled up close to her and smiled a little to himself. He was so lucky to wake up next to her.</p><p>"Can't we just stay in bed all day?" He hummed, his fingers tracing her arm.</p><p>"As appealing as that sounds... I do have to show up at my own housewarming." Alice reasoned with him, a grin on her lips.</p><p>It had been her own idea to invite people in her home, even after living there for almost a whole year. She wanted for everyone to feel welcome around her, and this seemed like the plan to make that happen. So, she had come up with the idea to have a late house warming so everyone could have the chance to really meet the real her and not who she was at work.</p><p>"Guess you're right." He sighed, but smiled nonetheless.</p><p>Alice giggled and turned to her side, her hand coming to tangle in his dark locks. He closed his eyes, the movements of her fingers making him want to fall asleep again.</p><p>"Hey, can I ask you something?" Alice broke the moment of morning silence between them. FP opened his eyes and shifted so he was resting on his elbow, making sure he could look at her.</p><p>"If you're not ready yet, that's more than fine, okay? I don't want you to feel pressured in any kind of--" Alice started ramble softly, but before she could even finish her sentence, FP cut her off.</p><p>"I'd love to move in with you." He said sweetly, his eyes twinkling.</p><p>"How did you know I was going to ask that?" Alice smiled brightly but wondered how he could've possibly guessed what had been on her mind.</p><p>"Had a feeling. Kinda have been thinking about it, too." FP smiled at her and wrapped the hand that he wasn't using to support his body weight to wrap around her, a need to keep her close.</p><p>"You have?" She questioned curiously.</p><p>Alice had always figured that this was a huge step for him that he couldn't take lightly, so when she had decided to ask him she had expected for him to be frightened of a change like that.</p><p>"Yeah, when I said I was serious about us I meant it, Alice." FP told her confidently.</p><p>When he had expressed his love for her, he had meant every single word. He wanted to be the man she deserved and he was going to work hard for that to come true.</p><p>Though he couldn't deny that he was more than nervous, but there was voice that was louder than the ones that told him to be scared. He was so sure of their future, that he could feel the excitement of taking this big step together. This time, he was ready. </p><p>"What about we spend a few nights of the week here and a few nights at your home, just to start? Is that okay for you?" He proposed softly.</p><p>Moving all of the sudden was going to be too much for him, but slowly making both houses their home would be something he could adjust to, something he really wanted. It was too hard for him to say goodbye to the place that had been his for so long, a place that had been the home of all his demons and his hope.</p><p>"I'd love that." She smiled and softly pulled him for a kiss. He happily obliged, and couldn't help but feel butterflies being released in his body every single time she kissed him.</p><p>"Can't wait to wake up next to your beautiful face every morning." He grinned brightly as he pulled her closer, wanting to soak in this morning with her.</p><p>For such a long time, he couldn't even think about having someone special in his life, let alone a soulmate that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But time had shown that she had been on her way to him for a long time.</p><p>"Hey, if you want we could make your house a little bit more... personal. You know? To show people who you really are?" FP said, looking directly into her eyes to see if he was crossing a line.</p><p>"If you're ready for that." He added immediately, not wanting to pressure her in any kind of way.</p><p>Every big change was a challenge for him, but from experience he knew that Alice had trouble showing the real her, the one she was deep inside her heart. He had come to learn who that person was and only fell in love more, but he hoped that she was comfortable enough to show how wonderful she is to the rest of the world.</p><p>"I am. I want people to know who I am." Alice said, determined.</p><p>She knew her house was cold, that it didn't show any of her personality, the things she cared about. But she did want to change that, especially now FP was moving in with her. It was going to be their home and she wanted for their house to reflect their love.</p><p>"For starters, I think your house needs a giant portrait of me above your fireplace." He said in all seriousness, fighting his hardest not to grin.</p><p>"Oh, you do, do you?" Alice snickered, loving it when he teased her like this.</p><p>"Yeah, so you won't forget what I look like." He grinned, biting his bottom lip when he saw how gorgeous she looked when she laughed.</p><p>"You're crazy." She teased and kissed him sweetly, wanting nothing more than to shape their lives together. He let go of her lips with a big smile but then remembered that he did in fact have a present for her.</p><p>"But I do have an idea to hang up in your home..." He slipped out of bed with a soft smile on his face.</p><p>"Where are you going?" She asked curious, as she saw that he made his way towards the living room. He quickly came back and got back under the covers again and handed the wrapped present over to her.</p><p>"I was going to give it to you this afternoon at the housewarming, but this moment kind of called for it, don't you think?" He tucked a fallen stand of hair behind her ear.</p><p>Alice smiled brightly and carefully took off the red colored wrapping. Her eyes glossed over when she saw what it was. A present so simple, yet so meaningful.</p><p>"Our picture... you framed it." She said softly, her eyes twinkling. </p><p>It was the one Veronica had taken in Greendale and published the next morning. The one picture that was meant to destroy them, but that brought them closer than they could have ever dreamed of.</p><p>"Yeah... remember the first time I was in your home? I told you we'd make memories, together. This one changed things for us. Now we can see it every day." He cuddled up closer to her and smiled to himself when she saw how much she loved it.</p><p>"We're going to find a place for it, in our home." Alice stroked his stubble with her fingers and smiled happily. Their first picture together was going to get a prominent place in the home that they were going to create together.</p><p>"Our home... that sounds like something I can get used to." FP sighed contently and pressed a sweet kiss on her hairline before his eyes fell on the news paper article. He was sure that whatever life was going to throw at them, they would survive.</p><p>**</p><p>Later that afternoon, FP came back to Elm Street to help Alice with the finishing touch. He had stopped by the Wyrm, helping some Serpents with their homework, as far as he could. A lot of them didn't have parents to help them out, or even bigger brothers and sisters.</p><p>Together, they helped each other pass their tests. It gave him a great deal of satisfaction that he could help them stay on the right path and not spiral the way he had done at twenty-five.</p><p>When he walked into her (or now their) house, he noticed different kind of pies, cakes, quiches and little petit fours that FP wasn't even sure how to describe. And the thing was? Alice was still busy in the kitchen. It looked like she had to feed the whole state.</p><p>"Did you bake all this while I was gone?" FP walked over to the kitchen and for the first time since she had arrived at her home, she looked up and realized where she was. The dazed look on her face told him that she had been in a trance all day. He took her harm into his hand.</p><p>"Hey, don't worry. They already love you." He assured her, smiling a little. But Alice had a hard time believing that.</p><p>"Do they? Sometimes I feel like it's either because I gave Pop's renovation money or because people are scared of me." She huffed, bringing another plate of cookies to the dinner table.</p><p>FP frowned. She was really spiraling, even after she had proven time after time that she was good at her job and that people truly appreciated her as mayor and as a person.</p><p>"Alice... you know that's not true. You've done more for the town than any other mayor we ever had." He said sweetly, taking another step into her direction to wrap his arms around her waist. Alice exhaled, feeling some weight falling off her shoulders now he was with her.</p><p>"All I hope is that they don't still see me as this cold woman." She said quietly, her throat tightening.</p><p>Alice knew that she had done her part of the fight and that she was definitely doing her job better than anyone had ever expected of her, but there was still this voice in her head that was telling her that it wasn't enough.</p><p>"They don't, I know so." He sweetly kissed her forehead, right before the bell rang. The first guest had arrived. Alice walked towards her front door and was met by Mary, who stood on her front porch.</p><p>"Am I too early?" Mary questioned, smiling friendly.</p><p>"No, you're not, come on in." Alice took a step aside to give her some space to walk into her house. Mary made her way towards the dinner table to put her signature chocolate chip cookies on there, but noticed the amount of food she already had.</p><p>"I brought a little something, but it looks like you already had enough." She chuckled a little, not sure if this was a hobby that got out of hand or that something more was going on.</p><p>"I'm a stress baker." Alice explained, her eyes falling on the enormous amount of food for a housewarming that was supposed to be warm and intimate. Now she took a second to look everything she had made, she realized that it was too much.</p><p>"Why are you feeling so stressed?" Mary asked her curiously, not really seeing why inviting a bunch of people that already knew her was such a big deal. Everyone loved her already, this was just an informal get together, wasn't it?</p><p>"This one is worried people still see her the way they wrote about her in the newspaper." FP pulled his arm around Alice and held her close, afraid that she was still spiraling. Mary took a step closer to her friend, now for the first time reading the insecurity in her eyes.</p><p>"Alice, believe me when I say everything is fine. It's because you that things have gone back to normal. People are really grateful for that." She promised her with a warm smile.</p><p>"I hope you're right." Alice smiled, but she wasn't convinced just yet. Hopefully she would come to believe that people liked her because of who she was, and not because of the things she did.</p><p>**</p><p>The house had become more crowded than she expected, as the people she had invited to come visit were all there. Maybe they didn't hate her after all, she tried to believe. Tom, Sierra, a whole bunch of younger Serpents, Cheryl and Veronica were all there. Everyone enjoyed the delicious petit fours Alice had made, something that definitely helped everyone warm up to her even more.</p><p>Cheryl looked around the room, curious to find out more things about the woman who had been surprisingly open to her, something she was still grateful for. There wasn't much that really spoke to her, except one thing that immediately caught her eye. It was a white Lily flower, the one from her bedroom that she had taken downstairs, to give it a more prominent place in her home.</p><p>"What a beautiful flower, Ms. Smith." Cheryl gestured to the picture frame, making everyone's eyes turn that way.</p><p>"Must have been a special memory." Veronica added, her eyes glued to the white flower. It was absolutely gorgeous, and she loved the unspoken story it was telling her.</p><p>"It is." Alice said quietly, her eyes glossing over as she looked at it.</p><p>Taking the flower to the living room had been a huge step for her, but she didn't want to hide anymore. Even the parts of herself that was scared to show shouldn't be hidden in secret.</p><p>"Hey, you okay?" FP placed his hand on her shoulder to make her look up to him, and the tears swimming in her eyes told him enough.</p><p>However, nobody but him knew what the lily symbolized, and therefore Cheryl suddenly realized that maybe she had mentioned something that was off limits.</p><p>"Sorry, did I bring up something sensitive?" She asked worriedly, her eyes growing in concern. The last thing she wanted was to upset Alice, especially not with so many people around.</p><p>"It's okay. Talking about it helps." Alice told her, holding back her tears as she sent the girl a warm smile.</p><p>She took FP's hand in her own, needing something to hold onto as she was about to share the hurt she had been carrying with her for almost three years, something she didn't want to hide anymore. He squeezed her hand, telling her that he was right there by her side if it would all become too much.</p><p>"The Lily is a symbol for the baby I've lost." Alice said quietly, her voice trembling in the slightest.</p><p>The room fell even more silent than before, as everybody suddenly felt the big weight she had been carrying with her for so long.</p><p>"It's the reason my husband and I divorced and why... well, why I became the Ice Queen people thought that I was." She confessed, her hand holding on tightly to FP's.</p><p>He kept on looking at her, to sense if she was ready to share her pain with the world. If there was only one sign it'd be too much, he'd be there to protect her.</p><p>"I'm so sorry to hear that." Veronica was the first one to speak up, tears, guilt and regret glossing in her eyes. She had been so hard on Alice before, not having any idea with what kind of loss she had been dealing with.</p><p>"Me too." Alice croaked out, smiling sadly.</p><p>"I'm trying to find peace with it." She added, her eyes looking up at the white lily flower, feeling more than just sadness as she looked at it. She loved her, even if they never had the pleasure to meet. Lily was simply a part of her, forever.</p><p>"Sorry, this was supposed to be a happy get together." Alice chuckled sadly, wiping away a tear that escaped her eyes.</p><p>"Sharing your pain is one of the most special things you've ever done. Knowing what's going on in someone else's life is ironically enough the best way to bond." Veronica said quietly, swallowing slightly.</p><p>She had never expected from Alice to be so open and vulnerable and she would curse herself for as long as needed for ever thinking that she was a cold woman. Truth was, Alice was one of the warmest people she had ever met.</p><p>"We all carry something we'd rather not share with the world." Sweet Pea added, his eyes casting downwards.</p><p>Everyone stayed silent to soak in his words, realization of how right the young man was. But for FP, it was too much. He wasn't ready to share all his demons, not with anyone but Alice. He needed air. His hand slipped out of Alice's and he ran right up the stairs without another word. Everyone's worried eyes followed him.</p><p>"FP? Where are you going?" Alice called after him, but he was out of sight already.</p><p>"Excuse me," She stood up from her chair and followed him upstairs.</p><p>Her, or their, bedroom door was closed, telling her that he had most likely ran off to hide in there. A soft knock followed, before she would come in when he didn't want to talk to anyone.</p><p>"Honey, can I come in?" She called, but there came no sound from the other side, which she read as no objection. Slowly, she opened the door, finding him sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. When she walked in, he looked up.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I..." He immediately excused himself, knowing very well that it wasn't okay to walk away from guests, but he was too overwhelmed to stay downstairs. Alice sat next to him on the bed, her blue eyes searching for his deep brown ones.</p><p>"I'm not sure I can share my grief with the world yet, Alice. I'm not as strong as you." He said quietly, tears glossing in his eyes.</p><p>FP was truly proud of her. Telling her story was huge, he knew that like no other. All he knew was that he couldn't, not yet, not with anyone but her.</p><p>"You don't have to, it's okay." She kissed his shoulder and took his hand in hers.</p><p>"Don't get me wrong, I truly appreciate how many people are here for you, for us. But... it's too much. It's too much at once." FP said quietly, his voice cracking slightly.</p><p>If there was something he could wish for, it was that he would heal faster, that he could be around people without freaking out, without feeling like he was choking. How she did it was a mystery to him, especially when her grief was still so fresh, so new. He believed he would never have the strength she had.</p><p>"I hear you. I should've thought about that." Alice said quietly, her hand stroking up and down his lower arm.</p><p>He had made great progress the last few months, but for a moment there she had forgotten that being around people was something so usual for her, but still something that could be too much for him.</p><p>"It's not your fault, I hadn't seen this coming either." He confessed, sighing deeply a little as if it would help to get rid of all the tension in his body.</p><p>"Come with me," Alice stood up and wanted to tug him with her, but he stayed put.</p><p>"Alice, I can't go downstairs. I'm sorry." FP said quietly, guilt written all over his face. He wanted to be at her side, he really wished he could. But his heart was beating dangerously fast by only the thought of it.</p><p>"We're not going downstairs." She told him, making FP look up at her in confusion. He stood up from the bed and let her lead him, up until they were standing in the bathroom.</p><p>"What are you doing?" He asked her, a small smile on his face. Alice let go of his hand and opened the tab on the bathtub, the sound of water filling it echoing through the room.</p><p>"Drawing you a bath. Take a moment to unwind, okay? I have to go back down, but you can take as long as you'd like." She wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled at him.</p><p>"I love you." He said sweetly, and pecked a loving kiss on her lips. She always knew exactly what to do, exactly what to say.</p><p>**</p><p>Later that night, after everyone had gone off to home, Alice walked up the stairs and opened her bedroom door, seeing him lying under the sheets, his eyes staring up at the ceiling.</p><p>"Hey, how was your bath?" She asked him softly, as she walked over to her closet to change into something more comfortable for bed.</p><p>"Good. Thank you, for doing that." FP pushed himself up a little to rest against the headboard, watching her as she changed into her nightgown.</p><p>She turned around and walked over to the bed and crawled under the sheets with him. He opened his arm for her and she contently settled herself against his chest and breathed in the scent of her bath salts that lingered on his skin.</p><p>"Sorry that I left you all alone. I should have been there to support you. I am kinda failing at that, ain't I?" He said quietly, his nose nuzzling in her hair.</p><p>The long bath had made him think about how she was always at his side when he couldn't handle his feelings, but that today he was supposed to be there for her. He felt incredibly guilty that he wasn't there to hold her hand, to make sure she was okay.</p><p>"By just being here you're already supporting me, FP." She said sweetly, followed by a quick peck on his chest. But to him, that wasn't enough.</p><p>"No, Alice. I should have been there. Your grief is still so fresh, I had eighteen years to get myself together. It's time I'm going to be your rock the way you have been for me." He spoke determined as he stroked her arm up and down.</p><p>If there was one thing he could wish for, was for his pain to vanish forever so he could devote himself for being there for her. Alice pushed back a little to look at him.</p><p>"There is no expiration date on grief, FP. I am starting to feel that talking about it helps me, even when I thought that shutting out the world was the right option. That is how we grow. If you don't want to talk about your loss, then you don't have to. There is no right way." She told him sweetly, trying to assure him that everyone healed differently.</p><p>The last two years, she had believed that ignoring her pain was the right call for her, that maybe not feeding into it would make it disappear. But ever since she opened up to FP, she realized that opening up and letting all those demons out of her heart, soul and mind would eventually give her control back. Though it had been unexpected for Cheryl to put attention on Lily, talking about it had made her feel closer to anyone who was there. She felt human again.</p><p>"Besides, you don't only grief the loss of Fred. Aren't you mourning the loss of your own life?" She asked knowingly, her blue eyes looking at his brown ones intensely.</p><p>He had been isolated so long, that he had missed out on so many things in life. Friendship, love and both the beauty and the tragedy that is life simultaneously. This was about something bigger than Fred. In some way, he had lost eighteen years of his life, which was a loss he shouldn't underestimate.</p><p>"Maybe, yeah... I've lost a lot of years. But what you've lost... I want to listen to your story, Alice. I want to understand your loss the way you've come to understand mine." His finger traced her cheek as he looked deep into her eyes.</p><p>FP knew that she was right, his grief was different and wasn't just about his best friend. But she had dragged him out of a very dark place and though he wasn't suddenly better, she had shown him the light. He wanted to do the same for her, and so far he believed he was constantly running from everything. She kissed him softly, to thank him for his sweet words.</p><p>"It was brave of you to tell them about Lily. I'm really proud of you." He stroked with his hand through her golden locks and smiled at her.</p><p>Every single day he discovered a new part of her, one that surprised him and made him fall in love even more. Alice smiled sadly and placed her head on his chest, her mind spiraling to the child that could have been her daughter.</p><p>"I've hated myself so much." She mumbled more to herself than to him, but he could hear her nonetheless.</p><p>FP pulled back a little, asking her with one simple look what she was referring to. When she met his eyes, she could read his unanswered question, one that was hard for her to put into words.</p><p>"For what happened to Lily. For not being able to be strong enough to build her a home where she could grow until she'd be ready to come into the world." She said quietly, her shoulders shocking softly as a few tears streamed down her cheeks. It had been a long time since she had last cried over her daughter and it felt as if she had been holding it in for this particular moment.</p><p>"Hey, you are strong, Alice. You're the strongest person I know." FP said softly, pressing a kiss on her hairline to give her comfort.</p><p>"I failed her, FP." She sobbed quietly, her arm holding onto his chest for dear life, as she completely gave into the sadness that had been building up inside her today.</p><p>"Sssh, come here." He pulled her as close as humanly possible and swallowed his own tears as he held her. Hearing her blame herself for something she had no control over, shattered his heart.</p><p>
  <em>"How long are you going to sit into this mess of self pity, Alice?" Hal was dressing himself and looked at his wife, who was laying in bed with a stoic expression on her face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She didn't answer. She never did. Alice knew perfectly well where his insults came from. He didn't love her. He never did.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"When we started this you knew that the chances of us getting pregnant were extremely low, there is no reason to dwell over it all again. It's no new information. You could have been prepared for this scenario, it's your own fault that you looked at this through rose colored glasses. Time to take them off." He snapped, shrugging on his blazer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His words just echoed through her mind, barely registering what he said. If one thing she had come to be very good at, it was her way of knowing when to filter his words. Because if she didn't, they would shatter her soul.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I can never become a mom." She mumbled quietly, clutching onto her pillow more tightly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do you believe things could have been different?" Alice turned her head to meet his eyes, and the small hint of softness she had seen before wasn't there. His eyes were as cold as ice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We will never know. It's over now. Let's move on, before life passes by you." He told her as he adjusted his watch.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"There are more things in the world than becoming a parent, Alice. Focus on work. That might make you feel better." He had told her, switching on something in her brain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe, for the first time, he had been right about something. Maybe she wouldn't feel the everlasting pain anymore if she threw herself into something that made her feel alive.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You can't feel sorry for yourself forever." He said, grabbing his suitcase and shaking his head at her in disapproval before he left out of the bedroom, leaving her all alone.</em>
</p><p>"I believed that everything Hal said to me, was true. I deserved that pain for losing her." Alice said quietly, her shoulders shocking softly in FP's warm and comforting embrace.</p><p>"Did he talk you into that self destruction?" FP asked her worriedly, his hands caressing her hair in a calming motion.</p><p>He could sense that talking about Hal was difficult for her, maybe even harder than talking about Lily. He had broken her. He was the reason she wouldn't even be the same.</p><p>"Alice... losing Lily... it's not your fault, you hear me? It's not your fault." He whispered softly, his throat tightening.</p><p>Alice sniffed, his words making her heart glow in the slightest, as if his warmth was melting away the wall of ice around it that Hal had created.</p><p>"I'm getting to understand that now... because of you." She looked up at him, her eyes red stained from crying, but not as sad as they used to be.</p><p>"Losing Fred wasn't your fault either, FP." Alice said quietly, her hand coming to rest on his cheek to gently stroke his stubble. Something switched in his eyes, as if he was surprised by the mention of his best friend.</p><p>"Do you believe that?" She asked in a soft whisper, his eyes telling her that even when he wanted to, he hard a hard time not blaming himself for the death of Fred. There had been so many things he could have done differently and he would've still be here. He wasn't sure he could ever forgive himself for that.</p><p>"No. But I'll get there." He told her quietly, pulling her body as close to him as he could, never wanting to let go of the warmth and comfort she gave him. She was his angel, his savior, and maybe he had been hers.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Now you hang from my lips<br/>Like the Gardens of Babylon<br/>With your boots beneath my bed<br/>Forever is the sweetest con."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Hello, My Friend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"And I still talk to you (when I'm screaming at the sky)<br/>And when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun had just set when Alice walked out of City Hall, ready to finally go home, take a relaxing bath and go to sleep. However, the universe had other plans for her. Something important, that could change someone's life.</p><p>But it wouldn't be a challenge. It would come natural to her, as a mother's instinct that had been suppressed too long. When she walked out of the head entrance, she saw a familiar redheaded girl sitting on the bench in front, with shocking shoulders and tears stuck on her snow white cheeks.</p><p>"Cheryl? Honey, what is going on?" Alice sat down next to her and placed her hand on her shoulder to make her look up.</p><p>It seemed as if she was being awakened out of her bubble. On instinct, Cheryl immediately held onto Alice, as if she was the only thing that kept her standing.</p><p>"My M-Mother. She kicked me out. She kicked me out for good." She cried out, her lips trembling and her sobs breaking Alice's heart.</p><p>"Now I have nowhere to go. I have nobody. I'm all alone." The girl said quietly, her shallow breaths interrupting her sentence, making Alice tear up as well. She couldn't believe that someone could treat their own flesh and blood like this, especially not a wonderful girl like Cheryl.</p><p>"Come here. It's all going to be fine, I promise you." Alice wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close to her chest, her fingers stroking in a calming motion over her scalp.</p><p>She knew that nobody should make such promise to a young soul like hers, but Alice had a feeling that she was right about this. If things wouldn't work out with her own family, she'd be there for her. She would give her a family.</p><p>"Sorry for bothering you." Cheryl sobbed as she held onto Alice, her embrace creating a warmth in her body that she was sure she had never felt before.</p><p>Was this how it was supposed to feel like to have an adult figure who really cared about you? She had no  idea.</p><p>"You're not bothering me Cheryl. Don't worry about that, sweetheart." Alice pulled her back a little and cupped her cheeks to wipe away the tears that had stuck.</p><p>She could take a look directly into her brown eyes and she saw how something had broken inside of her that hadn't before. It made her wonder if it would she would be damaged for good, or that they still had the change to turn the tide.</p><p>"Did you talk to Veronica?" She asked softly, one hand taking hers in her own and the other one still stroking her hair to calm her down.</p><p>"I did. She's with her mother in New York. She can't make it back until tomorrow." Cheryl averted her gaze and looked down at her hands.</p><p>All she wanted was to be held by her girlfriend, who was really trying her hardest to get home as soon as possible. However, even if she would take the earliest flight, she wouldn't be back in Riverdale before tomorrow morning. It was out of her control and yet it made her feel a thousand times more lonely, as if a greater force was trying to keep them apart, too.</p><p>"You can stay with me tonight, okay? You'll be safe." Alice promised her, sending her a warm smile to make sure Cheryl knew that her words were genuine.</p><p>She had to admit, caring for teenagers or being able to read them wasn't necessarily her specialty but with Cheryl, something natural awakened inside of her, telling her exactly what to do.</p><p>"Would you really do that for me?" Cheryl looked up at Alice, her eyes filled with shock.</p><p>Nobody, not even her own family, had ever opened their doors for her. The people who were supposed to love her unconditionally were the first ones to drop her at her most lonely moment. But this woman, the one she started off with on the wrong foot, gave her more love than any family member had ever given her.</p><p>"Yes, of course I would. I'm not letting you alone on the streets." Alice assured her with a sweet smile. Her heart ached in her chest by the thought of a young girl being so afraid of being abandoned and having to doubt everyone who did care for her.</p><p>"You deserve a loving family, Cheryl. I'm so sorry your mother can't give you that." She said quietly, her eyes twinkling sadly.</p><p>Alice knew that if she would have gotten the chance to be a mother, she would have given her child everything and would have loved them through everything.</p><p>"Take my hand. We're going home." Alice extended her hand free hand to Cheryl, a gesture that meant more to her than she could ever explain.</p><p>A simple thing as someone telling you that they would protect you and take you somewhere safe, a place she could call home; she never had that before. Alice made her believe that there were good people out there, that maybe, she could choose her own family.</p><p>**</p><p>Back at Elm Street, Alice had called FP to shortly explain why she wouldn't sleep at the cabin tonight. He understood and told him to tell him about it tomorrow, which she promised to do.</p><p>She prepared the guest room for Cheryl, including a pair of warm pajamas, a cup of tea and fresh sheets. It was the least she could do for the girl, but it made Cheryl feel loved in a new, different way. In all those years living with her parents she hadn't even felt remotely close to what this sweet gesture from Alice did to her. She was what a parent was supposed to be like.</p><p>"If there is anything you need, you tell me, okay? Even if it's in the middle of the night." Alice told her sweetly, squeezing the girl's hand.</p><p>Cheryl nodded, telling her that she was fine for now. Alice turned around to make her way towards her own bedroom, until she heard a whisper behind her.</p><p>"Alice?" Cheryl called after her, her voice soft and low. She turned back around to meet her eyes.</p><p>"Thank you. I'm not sure what else to say. Nobody has ever been this welcoming to me." She said quietly as she played with the sleeves of her borrowed pajama.</p><p>"Anytime, sweetheart. Go sleep, you need to rest." She told her, giving her a sweet wink.</p><p>Cheryl nodded after giving her a warm smile and climbed under the sheets. For the very first time in her life she felt protected.</p><p>**</p><p>Around three in the morning, Alice was woken up by her thirst. The glass on her nightstand was empty, so she made her way to the bathroom to get herself some water. Once in the hallway, her eyes had to adjust to the dark, but one thing caught her attention. The guestroom's door was open. She peaked her head inside and noticed the empty bed. Cheryl wasn't there.</p><p>She slowly made her way down the stairs and was met with the light in the kitchen.</p><p>"Cheryl? Are you awake?" Alice shuffled towards the light and there she was, sitting on one of the barstools, her hands wrapped around a glass of water. She almost looked in a trance. It was her soft whisper that snapped her out of it.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, did I wake you?" Cheryl asked worriedly, her eyes filled with guilt. It wasn't a time to be out of bed and she definitely didn't want to disturb Alice in any way.</p><p>"No, I just came to see if you were downstairs. I noticed your door was open when I went to get some water." Alice sat next to her and tried to catch her eyes, but her brown eyes were glued to an invisible spot on the kitchen counter. Something was wrong.</p><p>"I can't sleep." Cheryl said quietly. She bit with her teeth on the inside of her bottom lip, a habit that she ever had as a child. It was supposed to help her ease her anxiety, but it never did.</p><p>"Do you want to tell me why?" Alice tried carefully, taking her patience with the girl.</p><p>She knew that she might have hurt in way that she would never be able to understand, but there is one thing she could give that she never had— <em>a listening ear. </em>Cheryl looked at Alice and was met with her ice colored blue eyes that were surprisingly warm.</p><p>"I can't help but feel..." Cheryl really tried, but she wasn't used to sharing her pain out loud.</p><p>It were her voices. Her demons. And though she wanted to get rid of them more than anything else, it was all she had ever known. Almost as if she wouldn't survive with or without them.</p><p>"...like something is wrong with me. If all you hear is that loving the one you do is wrong, you slowly start to believe it." She said quietly, tears swimming in her eyes.</p><p>Cheryl didn't want to cry, not anymore. Her tears wouldn't change anything, but how was she supposed to deal with this any other way?</p><p>"What if my mother is right?" Cheryl looked up at Alice, her lips trembling.</p><p>Alice swallowed. Every time she thought she learned to understand what a young girl like her was carrying with her, there was something new that she discovered. It was a feeling she would never understand, simply because she would never stand in her shoes. But there was one thing that she knew like no other-- the destruction of someone who was supposed to love you.</p><p>"Cheryl, look at me." Alice took both her hands in her own and met Cheryl's broken brown eyes.</p><p>"Nothing is wrong with you, okay? Loving someone, whoever they may be, is the most wonderful thing in the world. You and Veronica have something that radiates a beautiful energy. Don't let anybody tell you that your love isn't allowed." She told her firmly, but warm.</p><p>Even if Cheryl wasn't her own daughter, not even her own family, she would do anything to make sure she would believe that she was a beautiful, loving person. What she has with Veronica is something special and she didn't want for her to give that up, not because of the poison of her mother.</p><p>"You grow up in an environment that hasn't taught you how to love, and yet you give Veronica all you have. You learned that by yourself." Alice smiled softly at her and squeezed her hands assuringly.</p><p>Cheryl tried to smile back, but it was hard to believe these words when she didn't know anything better than an important part of her that wasn't allowed to exist. How could her love be something beautiful when all she heard was that it was a horrible sin that would make her burn forever? She was tired of fighting her mother's words, they became stronger than the voice that told her that she was okay, that she had a right to exist.</p><p>"You know what I see?" Alice placed her hand on her hair and softly combed through it, making Cheryl's eyes sparkle. Every single time her mother came close, it was to hurt her. But with Alice? It was warm. It was protective.</p><p>"I see a very strong, loving and caring woman who knows in her heart that she's a good person. It might take awhile, but slowly the poison of your mother will leave your heart, mind and soul, I promise." She told her, with a determined expression on her face.</p><p>"Did you ever feel that way?" Cheryl asked her insecurely.</p><p>She didn't know much about Alice, but ever since she had confessed what had happened to Lily she assumed that there was more to that story, and that even she carried pain with her that was unknown to anyone.</p><p>"Did someone you thought loved you ever make you feel so little, so worthless?" She added to her question and squeezed Alice's hand.</p><p>Cheryl didn't want to let go anymore. Not ever again. Not now she had found someone who could care for her like a mother.</p><p>"My ex-husband. He did." Alice confessed quietly.</p><p>Hal was a subject she didn't want to talk about ever again, but if Cheryl was being vulnerable, she needed to give something back. She felt like she owed that to the girl. Once upon a time she believed that she felt like she was going to suffer for all eternity, but the pain that Hal caused her was disappearing, against all odds. She was slowly becoming herself again, the person, the mother, she was always supposed to be.</p><p>"That's why I know that with the right people around you, the wounds they heal will leave, eventually. One day you're going to wake up and realize that they have no power over you anymore. They will leave scars, and they will hurt for the rest of your life. But they won't control you anymore. You'll heal too, Cheryl." Alice promised her, and freed one of their hands to put her arm around the teenager's shoulders, pulling her close.</p><p>Cheryl rested her head on Alice's chest and exhaled deeply. She believed her. She had to.</p><p>"Thank you, Alice. I really want to heal." She mumbled quietly.</p><p>"You will, honey. You will." Alice whispered back, and kissed the girl's red locks.</p><p>**</p><p>The following night, Alice stayed over at the cabin and got dressed for bed. FP folded his clothes neatly to place them on the wooden chair next to his closest as he listened to Alice's story of how she had taken Cheryl to her home last night, to give her a safe place to stay. Months ago, he would have never thought that the queen of gossip had a painful secret to hide, when he was of opinion that no parent should ever abandon their kids based on who they love.</p><p>"Poor Cheryl. It must be awful to go through that." FP said sadly, a frown on his forehead after listening to what had happened after she had left City Hall.</p><p>"I went to high school with her mother... she has always been very conservative." He sighed and climbed under the sheets, staring as Alice changed into a shirt that used to be his, but was now claimed by her to sleep in.</p><p>She crawled into bed next to him and rested against the headboard. Her mind had never left thinking about Cheryl and how she could read in her eyes that her mother had destroyed her.</p><p>"Hearing her talk about the damage her mother has cost her... it broke my heart." She said quietly, looking straight ahead at a spot on the wooden wall that didn't exist. FP took her hand in his own and intertwined their fingers.</p><p>"She's eighteen, FP. No teenager should feel like that, especially not because of their parents." Alice turned her head towards him, tears stinging in her eyes.</p><p>Her parents had never been there for her the way she needed them. They were practical people and not at all in touch with their emotions. She always thought it couldn't be worse, but after hearing Cheryl's story she would almost consider having ice cold parents a blessing.</p><p>They made it hard for her to be in touch with own emotions and were most likely the reason she had unhealthy coping mechanisms, but they would've never put her on the streets if she would have loved a woman, that she was sure of.</p><p>"I don't understand how someone could be so cruel to their own child." She said to herself, swallowing the tears in her throat.</p><p>Alice wanted to understand how people who treated their own kid this badly were blessed with such a wonderful daughter as Cheryl and why it was that she would never become a mother, while she had so much love to offer. That wasn't fair, was it?</p><p>"Me neither. A kid deserves unconditional love, don't you think?" FP pulled his arm around her and pushed her closer, making her lay down on the pillows with him. There was something about keeping her close and feeling the warmth of her body against his. It made him feel at home like nothing else did.</p><p>"I do," She mumbled.</p><p>"I know I would have given Lily that." Her voice cracked slightly as she thought of all that she could have given her daughter, if the universe would have given her the chance to become a mother.</p><p>"I know you would've." FP said sweetly before he pressed a tender kiss on her forehead. The longer he was with her, the more he realized how much he wished for them to have that together—<em>a family.</em></p><p>"From what I hear, you did some pretty good parenting with Cheryl last night. You have given her more comfort than I can imagine her mother ever did. That's special." He comforted her, as his hands stroke through her golden hair.</p><p>Even if Alice never had the chance to raise her own daughter, FP knew that what she did to Cheryl was exactly what a real mother was. She might not have a child of her own, but that didn't mean she didn't have a mother's love to give to all those around her who needed it.</p><p>"She reminds me a little of how I was around her age." Alice smiled to herself, memories of her as a teenager coming back to her.</p><p>"Maybe you both need each other a little bit." FP said softly, a sweet twinkle in his eyes as he looked at her.</p><p>Alice turned to face him and smiled. He always knew what to say. She settled into his arms and closed her eyes, ready to fall asleep while she was being held by the love of her life.</p><p>**</p><p>FP looked down his body. He was wearing a jacket, his jeans, and even shoes. But wasn't he in bed anymore? The last thing he remembered was falling asleep with Alice in his arms. When did he leave the bed? And most importantly... how come he was suddenly in the woods?</p><p>But he knew this spot. He wasn't somewhere randomly. No, he was somewhere really close to his heart. FP kept on walking as if something different than his free will was taking him to where he was supposed to be, until he caught eye of the fallen tree to his right side.</p><p>He knew exactly where he was. The tree house was close. <em>Their </em>spot. He had already forgotten the confusion of how he even ended up in the woods in the first place, as his heart was beating so hard in his chest that he couldn't help but follow where it was taking him.</p><p>The only sound in the woods were those of his footsteps, until suddenly, he stopped in his tracks. In the blink of a eye, someone was standing in front of him. Those familiar and friendly brown eyes. He knew those like no other. <em>It couldn't be</em>.... was his mind tricking him?</p><p>"Fred?" He whispered in disbelief. It was his friend, right in front of him. No, it was his brother. But not how he had last seen him. He had aged. He wasn't twenty-five anymore.</p><p>"Hey, bud. Took you a little while, huh?" Fred smirked right at him, something that hadn't changed over time. FP swallowed. How could he be here? He was... <em>dead</em>. This must be a dream.</p><p>"You're not real. You can't be." FP took a step backwards as he stuttered, afraid for what he saw. He almost choked on his breath and felt so anxious that he wanted to run away, but it was as if a magical power kept him in place.</p><p>"I'm standing right in front of you and I'm talking to you. Sounds pretty real to me." Fred kept on smiling at him, as if it was the most normal thing in the world that he was standing there, talking to his friend.</p><p>"But you're..." FP barely blinked, afraid that if he did, Fred would be gone. He couldn't finish his sentence, he couldn't say those words. Neither could Fred.</p><p>"There is more possible than you think, FP." Fred assured him, his eyes twinkling magically.</p><p>And though FP couldn't explain how he was able to talk to his friend, he wasn't there to ask questions. He was there to be reunited with the one person he had missed for a lifetime. For now, he needed to believe that this was real. That somehow, he was rewarded by being brought together with the one he had missed so much.</p><p>"I can't believe you're here." FP shook his head with a smile. He wanted to take a step into Fred's direction, but had a feeling that one wrong move, and it would be all over.</p><p>"Have been here for a while. Need to keep my eye on you, don't I?" Fred teased him and chuckled a little as he turned around to the tree house.</p><p>"Come, let's climb in here. It has been way too long." With a few swift moves, he was up there and sat back in their old favorite hiding spot as if nothing had ever changed since their teenage years.</p><p>"Or are you too old to have fun with your best friend?" He called from above, to FP who was still standing on the wood grounds.</p><p>FP laughed and climbed up the tree, until he was sitting right next to his friend. He would swear he could feel the warmth of his body. But that couldn't be possible, could it?</p><p>"I miss you." FP confessed silently, his throat tightening as he looked at his brother. It felt so unreal.</p><p>The strange thing was that even when years seemed to have passed, he could see directly that this was his best friend. There were more wrinkles, he had a scruff just as he had, but his most recognizable features were still the same. Those deep brown eyes that were glowing with nothing but kindness and that smile of his that told you that everything would be alright.</p><p>"I miss you too, FP." Fred said sweetly, his eyes glistening with tears.</p><p>After years of FP not showing up, he was afraid that it would never happen again. He would watch over him forever, but every single day that he didn't see him he was reminded of how deep his feelings of guilt and grief were rooted.</p><p>"But I'm not really gone, you know that right?" He told him, the same warm smile that he always had spreading over his face. It was weird of how someone could have changed and still looked exactly the same.</p><p>FP opened his mouth to say something, anything, but it felt impossible. How could he know where his friend really was? Was this real? Or was this his imagination? And even if it was a dream, why did every small sound, every look in Fred's eyes feel like so much more?</p><p>"You want to see if I am real, don't you?" Fred read his mind and FP looked away with red cheeks.</p><p>He wanted to trust him on his word, but when the one that you hadn't talked to in almost two decades was suddenly sitting next to you, there was no other choice than to doubt what was happening.</p><p>"Here, take my hand." Fred extended his hand for FP to grab, a simple gesture that could prove so much.</p><p>FP hesitated for a second, afraid to wake up the second he would touch him, but took the risk nonetheless. As soon as their palms touched one another, FP could feel the warmth of his skin. It was real. It was all real. Almost as if no matter where they were, on earth or in a universe that FP hadn't even known existed, they would always be connected by one an invisible string.</p><p>"Told you." Fred teased and leant back against the wooden wall of the tree house. He looked around for a bit, but nothing had changed, not even eighteen years of storm, wind, rain and snow.</p><p>"I've met your son, Archie. It took me a while... he's so much like you." FP beamed, finally sharing the one thing he had been so afraid to do ever since he lost him.</p><p>"He is, isn't he? I'm so proud of him. I'm sure he's going to change the world." Fred smiled with pride, the thought of his son growing up to be such a wonderful young man making him feel like the luckiest father in the world.</p><p>"You can see him? And Mary? Can you see Mary?" FP asked confused, as he thought that this was just a one time moment. But did he always look out for them? Every second of every day just as FP had always hoped?</p><p>"I keep my eye on all of you. I need to make sure you're doing okay." Fred bumped his shoulder and smiled a little, but FP didn't miss that he swallowed away his tears. He was making light of the situation, and even when FP couldn't understand where they were, he could see that Fred was just as emotional as he was.</p><p>"If I am not mistaken, you've been doing better lately." He was hinting on something specific, but he gave FP the chance to tell this special news himself. Fred knew that he had been dying to tell him the beautiful thing had happened to him.</p><p>"I have... I met someone. Her name is Alice." FP blushed slightly and couldn't stop the lovesick smile on his face.</p><p>"What is she like?" Fred asked curiously and scooted over closer to his friend.</p><p>"She is...." FP stopped in the middle of his sentence and shook his head with a beaming smile.</p><p>"I wish I had the words to describe her. She's out of this world, Fred. A soul you're lucky if you meet only once in a lifetime." He told him, his eyes twinkling with his love for Alice.</p><p>Words had never been FP's strong suit, especially not after being by himself for so long. He never had to speak. He never even had to describe loving someone, a difficult task for anyone and even a harder one for someone who had never loved anyone before.</p><p>"When I look at her, I see something so bright, as if she was supposed to be the one to cross my path and make me the person I was always meant to be." He said quietly, as he looked up at the stars. They seemed brighter than usual. Maybe that was Fred's doing.</p><p>"Maybe it wasn't a coincidence that you two met each other." Fred told him, a mysterious spark in his eyes.</p><p>FP perked up a little. Was all he had thought for a long time really true? Was it faith that he and  Alice had crossed paths?</p><p>"Did you send her to me?" He asked him, carefully, his voice trembling. Fred stayed silent, as if he was looking to tell him something without breaking laws that were unknown to FP.</p><p>But Maybe the answer didn't really matter. He loves her, and she loves him. They make each other better people and if his friend did or didn't have anything to do with that, he still wanted to be able to thank something, someone, for his greatest blessing.</p><p>FP had never believed in faith, not if he couldn't understand why they had taken away Fred, why his story had to end. But ever since Alice had come into his life, he slowly started to doubt his own skeptic attitude towards the unknown. Maybe believing in faith would give him the comfort he had always longed for.</p><p>"If you did... thank you. The way I feel around her... I always thought that only existed in fairytales. But it's real." He blushed slightly and gave his friend a soft smile.</p><p>FP had never been quite poetic or philosophical for that matter, but the past year had awakened something in him. Alice made him want to learn how to express his love, to believe in some power bigger than themselves. It was a change he wouldn't have ever thought would happen for him, but she changed his course, his way of life.</p><p>"No one's tire flattens out of the blue, FP." Fred told him, a hint of a smirk on his lips. It took him a few seconds, but then remembered his very first meeting with Alice, with her car stranded against the side of the road. <em>Her tire had been flat.</em></p><p>He got his answer. Even if nothing between him and Alice had been planned out, he knew that his buddy was looking out for him, always. He had brought her on his path, but the two of them falling in love had been something neither they or Fred had power over.</p><p>"How do you see your future with her?" Fred asked him curiously.</p><p>Before he passed, he had never seen a spark like that in FP's eyes while talking about a woman. He couldn't even recall him ever being in love with someone. Seeing him this happy was a new, welcoming change.</p><p>"If she'll have me, I'll stay with her forever." FP said sweetly, his eyes twinkling.</p><p>Sometimes, he thought about how frightened he had been when she came so close to all parts of him he wanted to hide forever and how she had grown to be the only person he ever wanted to share his demons with, for the rest of his life.</p><p>"Do you have dreams?" Fred smiled, implying something that he had never said out loud. But Fred knew everything about him. FP stayed silent, just as he expected.</p><p>"I know you have, FP. Don't forget I know you like no other." Fred teased him a little, but FP struggled to find the words. His wish for the future was a scary one, and he was terrified of saying those words out loud to her, to anyone.</p><p>"You can tell me. You know that." Fred said softly, and nudged his shoulder softly with FP's.</p><p>"I want a family with her, Fred. But it's not that simple." FP confessed quietly, looking down at his hands as if he was ashamed of his dream.</p><p>He had never considered himself the fatherly type and kids had never been on his mind. But now he was starting to get a taste of what real life was out of the woods, he wanted nothing more than to give all the love and devotion that he had in him to a family, his family.</p><p>"She lost her baby. I'm afraid to ask her." He said quietly, swallowing audibly to get rid of the way his throat had tightened.</p><p>"Lily. She lost Lily, didn't she?" Fred cleared up.</p><p>FP immediately looked at his friend. How did he know? Or was this something that he couldn't explain and was just simply a thing that could exist because there was no answer?</p><p>"You know Lily?" He asked confused, a puzzled expression on his face.</p><p>"She has been around. It takes a lot of work to bring you two together. I needed to ask for help." Fred smiled a little to himself.</p><p>He knew that FP had a lot to process and that there were things happening that he couldn't understand, but it seemed to be a non-issue, as he was still relaxed. He had given into the not knowing, as long as he could talk to his best friend.</p><p>"Talking about me?" Underneath them, a girl with long blonde locks stood on the wood grounds with a mischievous smirk on her lips.</p><p>"There you are," Fred chirped happily, as FP looked down in confusion. He had never seen that girl before.</p><p>"Come join us." Fred gestured for her to climb up in the tree, an invite that she happily accepted.</p><p>Once she sat down FP's eyes glued on her face. Although he had never seen the girl, she looked so familiar. Especially those deep blue eyes and the way her eyes told a story that was still impossible for him to read, just like it had been with Alice.</p><p>"Are you...?" He didn't dare to ask.</p><p>"I'm Lily. Nice to meet you." She held her hand out for him to shake with a warm and friendly smile on her face. FP shook her hand, his eyes growing wide by hearing her name.</p><p>"It takes a little teamwork sometimes." Fred shrugged, as FP looked at him for an explanation.</p><p>But then he reminded himself that he wasn't here for questions about where they were, where Fred had been all this time, or if this was some world between the living and the dead, or that this was in fact real. He was going with it, no matter all the unearthly things he didn't understand.</p><p>"You look so much like her." FP let out a chuckle as he looked at the young girl's face. Those blue eyes, those dimples, it was all Alice.</p><p>"You have the same smile." He pointed out sweetly, his eyes glossing over. This is the daughter Alice could have had. He was convinced that she would dream of meeting her.</p><p>"You are the one who made sure hers is back again. Thank you." Lily thanked FP with a genuine smile.</p><p>His cheeks blushed slightly, as he never had been the one to accept compliments that easily. He knew that him walking into Alice's life had done her good, but it was hard to give himself credit for that. But before he could even make a modest comment about how he did nothing special, he realized something important. It had been almost three years since Alice had lost her daughter, but the one greeting him was a teenager.</p><p>"But wait... you're supposed to be only two years old... how come you... are so grown up?" FP's mind spiraled with all the things that weren't making sense, not even in the strange reality he was in now.</p><p>The girl was supposed to be a toddler, and yet he was meeting a young woman at the end of her teenage years. And Fred? He had aged, as if there had been passing eighteen years where they were now, just like it had in his world. Had it always been faith? Had Lily's soul always been here ever since Fred passed? Had it been written in the stars that Alice would lose her baby and for her and Fred to meet?</p><p>"You see me how you need me to see, FP. Tonight you needed this version of me," Lily explained, giving him her warmest smile.</p><p>She understood how complicated this all must be to him, but it was the only reasonable explanation she could give. Part of her soul had always been there, waiting to meet Fred and make sure that exactly eighteen years later, her mother and his best friend would come to meet one another. However, if FP wished, he could see her the way he needed to. There weren't many people strong enough to handle what he was handling right now, but Lily had trust in him that this wouldn't be their first and last meeting.</p><p>"I'm not how you remember me either, FP. Maybe you need to believe that wherever we are, we still grow up. Do you?" Fred said softly, catching his brother's eyes and noticing the tears swimming in his deep brown eyes.</p><p>"I do. I don't want to be the one to have taken that away from you, Fred." FP croaked out, his lips quivering.</p><p>His guilt would never disappear, no matter how many times he would hear that what happened wasn't his fault. Maybe he never did have the power to protect Fred, but he would always feel responsible for making a promise he couldn't keep.</p><p>"You haven't, brother. We're here. Everything is fine." Fred assured him and took his hand in his own again and squeezed. He looked sideways to Lily, who had a look on her face that FP couldn't quite read.</p><p>"What is it?" FP asked, almost a little afraid for what was coming next.</p><p>"Almost time to go," Fred sighed deeply and looked at FP with an apologetic look.</p><p>He wasn't ready to say goodbye, even when this wouldn't be the last time they'd see each other. Fred had waited for eighteen years until FP was strong enough to meet him, he wasn't going to stop now. He'd wait forever for him, just like a brother. Until then, he would watch over him.</p><p>"Will we see each other again?" FP asked him, his voice trembling but hopeful.</p><p>"Whenever you wish, FP. Just call my name and I'll be there." Fred promised him and pulled him into a warm hug.</p><p>FP held onto him as if it would be the last time, and took in his scent and warmth for as long as he could. There were no promises of when they would meet again, so every single time could be the last time. He still wasn't sure where he was, or where Fred and Lily were, but he wanted to have faith in them and believe that they would meet again, one day.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Fred." He croaked out, the tears streaming down his cheeks.</p><p>"I wish I could have saved you." He added in a whisper, his shoulders shocking in the embrace of his brother.</p><p>"You have nothing to be sorry for, FP." Fred pulled back and cupped his cheeks, making him look directly at him.</p><p>"We're okay. You're my best friend. Forever." He promised him firmly, but with a sweet voice. He slowly let go of his face.</p><p>FP nodded and wiped his tears with the back of his hands. It were the words he had needed to hear for years, and hearing them now directly from Fred was all he had ever wished for.</p><p>"FP? Could you do me a favor?" Lily caught his attention with her sweet voice.</p><p>"Could you tell my mom that it isn't her fault?" She asked quietly, her eyes twinkling emotionally. He swallowed, but gave her a confirming nod. Anything she wanted for her to know, he would pass on.</p><p>"I will, Lily." FP promised her with a soft smile. He would tell her every single day until she would believe him.</p><p>**</p><p>Far away, there was an echo of a woman's voice, one that reminded him of an angel's. The sound made him wake up out of his slumber, vanishing the sight of the woods and the shining stars turning into the bedroom in his cabin again. He was back. Or had he always been here?</p><p>"FP? FP?" Alice's voice called for him as she softly shook him in an attempt to wake him up.</p><p>He shot up and inhaled deeply, as he looked around him with a confused look on his face. No more woods. No more treehouse. Just his warm sheets, in the house that had protected him for two decades.</p><p>"Honey, you were stirring in your sleep. Were you having a nightmare?" She asked him softly, her hand stroking his shoulder.</p><p>"No... I..." He looked at her, the sight of her eyes immediately grounding him.</p><p>Usually, he would have panicked. But the truth was, he had never felt this calm. He had gotten the closure he had always wished for. Maybe even more so, maybe even an opening to something magical that he wanted to share with her and only her.</p><p>"I talked to Fred. I saw him in the treehouse." FP whispered, a smile curling on his lips as he exhaled in disbelief. He was sure he sounded crazy, but it was real. It hadn't been a dream, that he was sure of.</p><p>"You did?" Alice asked him, her voice hopeful and sweet.</p><p>"Yeah... it felt so real. It <em>was</em> real. I could feel the warmth of his hand. He was there." FP told her, as he felt her scoot over to him closer than before.</p><p>Her hand in his hair was such a calming motion, that it made his whole body relax. For a brief second, she had expected to tell him that it was a dream and that he should get back to sleep, but she just smiled so lovingly, telling him that she believed every single world.</p><p>"But he wasn't alone." FP turned to look at her directly and swallowed.</p><p>He knew that what he was about to tell her wasn't something he could take lightly. Maybe, she didn't even want to hear it. But he had made a promise<em> and he would never break another promise again.</em></p><p>"Lily was there too. She was grown-up, I saw who she was meant to be." He said quietly, his eyes twinkling hopeful. Alice's hand trembled a little and he could see the pool of tears appearing in her eyes by his words.</p><p>"She has your smile, Alice. And the same mischievous spark in her eyes." FP chuckled sweetly and nudged his nose against hers.</p><p>Alice hummed a little and sniffed as her emotions took over. She would have never expected for her daughter and her soulmate to meet one day, and to her it didn't matter what of it was real and what had been a dream. FP felt as if he had gotten to know the woman her daughter could have been, and that was all that counted for her.</p><p>"She asked me to tell you that it's not your fault." FP intertwined their fingers and squeezed her hand assuringly.</p><p>"It isn't?" Her voice cracked as she looked straight into his eyes to detect any kind of doubt or hesitation. But there was none. FP truly believed his, and Lily's, words.</p><p>"No. It's not your fault." He said soft, but firm. Alice smiled through her tears.</p><p>Those words were all she wanted the past two years. FP cupped her cheek to wipe away a fallen tear and leant in to plant a sweet kiss on her forehead.</p><p>"Lily and Fred have been hanging out together. They made sure we would cross paths." He wrapped her up in his embrace as they leant back into the pillows and she immediately warmed up with his strong arms around her.</p><p>She had never felt as much at peace as this very moment, with him and with Fred and Lily close to them. Alice didn't have to be there to feel in her heart that what FP saw, had been real. She had it in her nature to be skeptic, but something in her heart told her that Fred and Lily's words had been more than a dream.</p><p>"They really are our guardian angels." She said with a sweet smile on her face. Her mind wandered to the two souls who had been connected for so long and had fought to watch over them.</p><p>"Maybe you can see them too, next time." FP said softly, pulling her a little closer. He kissed her hairline.</p><p>"I'll take you with me." He added in a whisper, determined for his next visit to be with her.</p><p>She deserved to see her daughter, and he wanted nothing more than to introduce the woman that Fred had sent his way to the man himself.</p><p>"That sounds wonderful." Alice hummed happily, a feeling of peace, relief and serenity washing over her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"And if I didn't know better<br/>I'd think you were singing to me now<br/>If I didn't know better<br/>I'd think you were still around<br/>I know better<br/>But I still feel you all around<br/>I know better<br/>But you're still around."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. A Parent's Sacrifice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences<br/>Sit with you in the trenches<br/>Give you my wild, give you a child<br/>Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mary was sitting at her breakfast table, eating the French toast she had just made for herself and read that morning's newspaper. She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear her son coming downstairs.</p><p>"Mom?" Archie stood next to the kitchen table and looked at his mother, who was snapped out of her concentration by the sound of her son's voice.</p><p>"Yes, honey?" She said sweetly, as she put her newspaper aside.</p><p>Archie took a breath, as he was about her the one question he hadn't dared to ask her his whole life. However, he felt that it was time. After years of frustration, struggle and sadness he was ready to open up the book about his father, a question that had been on his mind for longer than he could admit.</p><p>"Can we talk? About Dad?" He asked her, his voice soft and insecure. The young man was scared, but his curiosity won it from every doubt he still had.</p><p>"You want to talk about your father?" Mary asked, surprised, but hopeful.</p><p>She had been keeping all the stories about Fred to herself, afraid to hurt Archie even more than he already did. But she trusted him if said he was ready, she could read in his eyes that he was speaking the truth.</p><p>"What was it like? When you lost him?" Archie sat down next to his mother at the kitchen table and immediately caught her off guard with his very first question. She had expected a lot, but not this one. He instantly noticed the flash of hurt in her eyes and wished he would have thought it through.</p><p>"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked." He dismissed his question and wanted to stand up from his place, not sure if they could continue their conversation. However, Mary took his hand in her own and offered him a warm smile.</p><p>"You can ask me anything, Archie." She promised him. It had been a long time since she had last talked about Fred's passing.</p><p>"Losing your father is the worst thing I've ever been through." Mary confessed, her throat tightening as memories of the moment she heard she had lost him for good flashed in front of her eyes.</p><p>"Getting that phone call... it was torture." She shook her head sadly and averted her gaze from her son, afraid that he might see how much she was still hurting after all those years.</p><p>"You started to kick around that time. You were a real mover, as if you knew I needed your company." There curled a small smile on her lips as she remembered how in her darkest moments, she had never been alone because of him.</p><p>"But you know the worst part?" She continued, Archie's full attention still focused on her.</p><p>"When FP came back, alone.... and seeing the look on his face, telling me that it wasn't a nightmare. Part of me had hoped your Dad would return, that I would wake up. But I didn't." She croaked out, tears welling up in her eyes.</p><p>When the sergeant had called her, she could barely believe it. Her heart didn't want to acknowledge the news she had gotten, but the spark of hope she had that she would wake up out of his dark and twisted nightmare had vanished as soon as she looked at the face of her dearest friend. She would never forget the pain in his eyes.</p><p>"Did you wish you would have done things differently?" Archie asked her, his voice soft. The last thing he wanted was to make his mother upset, but he knew that it was time for him to know everything, including the hard parts.</p><p>"So many, honey. So many." Mary took his hand in her own and squeezed it comfortingly.</p><p>"I wish I would have asked him to stay like my gut had told me to." She told him, her voice quiet.</p><p>For a long time, she had been focused on all the things she could have done to make sure Fred would've been there to see his son grow up. Those thoughts had tortured her, until she realized that it wouldn't change a thing.</p><p>"But dwelling on that thought isn't going to bring your Dad back." Mary swallowed and tried to give her son a warm smile, but it was hard. She wished that she could go back in time and had asked Fred to stay, to be with her through it all.</p><p>"He was over the moon when I told him we were expecting you." This time, there was a sweet and genuine smile on her face.</p><p>"I wish I would have gotten to know him." Archie confessed quietly. He had grown up without his Dad and though he pretended for years that he didn't miss a father figure, it was hard to ignore now he was becoming an adult.</p><p>Mary could see the tears in his eyes, ones that he had been trying to hide for so long. And as she looked at those brown orbs, she got an idea. He could meet his father after all.</p><p>"Come with me." She took her son's hand with a smile on her face.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Archie asked her confused as they walked over to the stairs. She stopped right in front of it, facing the mirror.</p><p>"Letting you meet your Dad." She explained simply as she stood behind him, her hands on his shoulders.</p><p>"You see that boy?" Mary pointed at her son with a hopeful twinkle in her eyes. He had been the reason she had survived and today, she would show him why that was.</p><p>"You mean me?" Archie looked straight at his own reflection and gestured to himself.</p><p>"You're so much like him, Archie. Every time I look at you, I see your father. Having you makes it feel like he's always around." She squeezed his shoulders sweetly and looked at him with tear filled eyes, with happy twinkle in them.</p><p>"You really think I am much like Dad?" Archie smiled proudly, but had a hard time to believe that the hero he believed his father was, could be him one day.</p><p>"I do. You have the same beautiful, caring heart." Mary placed her hand on his chest and kissed his shoulder through the fabric of his sweater.</p><p>There was no parent in the world who was prouder of their child than Mary was. It was because of Archie that she hadn't lost her soulmate. Fred was with her, every single day. She could see him when she looked at her son, a gift from the universe that she would forever be grateful for.</p><p>"Thank you, Mom." Archie turned around and pulled her into a hug. With his looks and his personality, he did get a lot of compliments. But the one she was giving him now was the most meaningful and important of all.</p><p>"Did you ever think of getting with someone else? You've been alone for so long...  that isn't because of me, isn't it?" He pulled back out of their embrace and felt his cheeks blush a little.</p><p>Before, he had never dared to ask her, afraid to be inappropriate. But since they were being honest with each other, he needed to know if he had anything to do with that. Mary cupped her son's face, to make sure he was looking right at her. She needed him to see the sincerity of her words.</p><p>"My heart belongs to your father, Archie. To nobody else." She said softly, her eyes glistering.</p><p>"I have so many people around me who love me, who care for me... I've never been lonely, not once." Mary smiled, this time more to herself, as she thought of all the people she had to support her. They had helped her survive, and she would do the same for them one day.</p><p>"And I've always had you." She winked, before placing a sweet kiss on his cheek.</p><p>As a single parent, the bond with her son had been stronger than anyone could ever imagine. They were each other's best friend and biggest support and she was beyond proud of the man he was becoming. She was sure that Fred would be proud of him, too.</p><p>"I love you." Archie said sweetly, hugging his mother close.</p><p>He knew that there had been times where he hadn't thanked her enough for all she did for him and how she was always the strong one. He wished he could repay her for that.</p><p>"I love you too, honey. I love you so much." Mary whispered back and pressed a kiss on his red locks. They would always be fine as long as they had each other.</p><p>**</p><p>A few days later, the redheaded boy made his way over to the bar with the neon green snake outside. The place had always known to be the hangout of the Southside Serpents. A few of his friends were part of the gang, but he always knew to stay away from their safe places. That was theirs.</p><p>However, ever since FP had become King, things had changed. Surprisingly enough, the gang had become more inclusive for anyone who needed support, as long as there was mutual respect. As a mentor and father figure he learned the kids to respect each other, no matter their background.</p><p>One thing that had been an initiative of FP, was the start of art classes. Lots of Serpents were a little skeptical at first, thinking that it was more of an elite kind of hobby. But FP didn't give up that quickly, not anymore. The more he explained what painting had given him, the more the teenagers began to understand that it could be a very wonderful way to channel their emotions.</p><p>And so, even to FP's surprise, lots of them had gathered around and listened really carefully to his advice. He smiled proudly at the young serpents. He was really making a change, something he had promised himself when he had taken the position as their King.</p><p>The door at the head entrance of the bar opened, revealing the young Andrews boy. Nobody but FP noticed, as they were too concentrated on their canvases to hear the sound of the door opening and closing.</p><p>"Archie?" FP asked confused, but happy. He slowly walked his way to the group and stood a little uncomfortable next to FP.</p><p>"Is it okay if I join you guys?" He asked, his voice a tad insecure.</p><p>"Yeah, anytime." FP nodded with a sweet smile. They had started off the wrong foot, both of them terrified to meet each other, but he had a feeling that things were about to change.</p><p>"There is something you want to ask me, isn't there?" FP opened the conversation carefully, as he could read something in Archie's eyes that he couldn't put into words. Archie nodded. He was glad FP brought it up when he was far too afraid to do so.</p><p>"Could you tell me more about my Dad? What kind of man was he?" Archie asked him, a small smile curling on his lips.</p><p>From the moment he had looked in FP's eyes when he had seen him at their dinner table, he knew that one day he wanted to hear everything about his father's adventures. He would have never expected that day was there already.</p><p>"Your dad was the most loving friend I've ever had." FP said softly, his eyes twinkling by the memory of him. He had been his family when nobody else was and got him through the darkest times of his childhood.</p><p>"Honestly, I see a lot of him when I look at you. It's the same spark in your eyes." FP grinned as he looked at the boy.</p><p>He had seen it from the start. It was frightening to see a young man who looked so much like the brother he had lost, but instead of feeling an urge to run away from it, he learned to be grateful that they were so much alike. It wasn't scary anymore.</p><p>"I gotta be honest with you, kid. Talking about your Dad... it's hard. But I would really love to keep in touch with you to tell you everything you'd like to know. Is that alright with you?" FP proposed to him in a soft tone, giving the both of them the time to get used to this new bond and prepare to be vulnerable with one another.</p><p>"I'd really like that." Archie nodded with a sweet smile, relief washing over him with this new chance, this new start.</p><p>FP gave him an encouraging pat on his back and led him to the other Serpents so he could join them. If there was one thing FP loved, it was seeing this family grow. He gave the support he wished he could have gotten when he was young and felt proud that he could still do something meaningful in this world, even after two decades of isolation.</p><p>A little while later, when the day was almost over, Alice came walking into the bar looking for her boyfriend. He immediately perked up when he looked at her, still starstruck every time he saw her walking into a room.</p><p>"What is the mayor doing here? Am I in trouble?" He teased with a big grin on his face, his hands coming to rest on her waist to pull her close.</p><p>"Most definitely." She smiled mischievously, and wrapped her arms around his neck as he softly swayed them.</p><p>"Hmm, on what grounds, then?" He groaned, his eyes glued on her lips.</p><p>Alice had come to love how comfortable he got with her. It had been an emotional journey, but they were in a good place, something she would have never guessed the first time she had met him at the side of the woods. From the man who was so terrified to speak to her, to let her in, he had grown to be someone who wasn't afraid to be openly affectionate with her, to love her the way he did.</p><p>"For looking insanely hot in a leather jacket." She teased, her fingers coming to play with the curls in the base of his neck that she loved so much.</p><p>"Looks way better on your anyway." He said lowly, before locking their lips in a soft kiss.</p><p>It felt good to be so openly in love with her. If there was one thing in his life FP had never expected, it was that he would ever be in such a strong relationship with someone who he loved more than he loved himself.</p><p>"Knock it off with the PDA." Sweet Pea called from the other side of the bar, a smirk on his face.</p><p>"Sorry guys, we'll tone it down." FP excused them and loosened the grip on her waist. He didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, and since he was still learning, he wasn't sure if it was okay to kiss her like that in public.</p><p>"We're just teasing. It's sweet seeing you like this. I think if we ever find someone like you found each other, we're very lucky." He said softly as he looked at the couple who couldn't stop staring at each other. Anyone could see how much love there was between those two souls.</p><p>"Think we're done for the day anyway." Sweet Pea looked around the room and saw the tired but satisfied faces. They had worked hard enough, tomorrow they could proceed.</p><p>"Could you lock up?" He threw the keys FP's way, who caught them smoothly.</p><p>"You've got it." He winked, and gave a grateful nod to he teenagers who grabbed their personal belongings to leave home for the day.</p><p>Archie put on his jacket to leave as well, but before he could reach the exit, FP took him by his arm.</p><p>"Don't hesitate to stop by if you wanna talk, alright? My door is always open." He promised him, a warm and inviting smile on his face.</p><p>Archie smiled back at him. It was the only way he knew how to thank FP for being so open, as his mother had explained to him why that was so hard for him to do. He understood that it was hard, but together they would get there.</p><p>Alice smiled at the two. The man she loves had grown so much, she hoped he knew how proud she was of him. He had been isolating himself for decades and tried everything to push her away but was no finally becoming the man he was always supposed to be. In this very moment, she had never been more glad that she had fought back and that they were blessed to end up here.</p><p>"It's so great to see you like this with the kids." She stood at the bar and smiled sweetly. FP turned around and made his way over to her.</p><p>"You think so?" He blushed a little, still having trouble accepting a compliment.</p><p>But it wasn't just his insecurity that made him nervous, it was as if she had read his mind and knew what he was going to ask her. A question that he had been dying to ask, but still had to handle delicately, before he'd shatter something that he wouldn't forgive himself for.</p><p>"I can see how much they look up to you." Alice told him and took his hand in hers. She squeezed it comfortingly. As long as he was insecure, she would make sure to encourage him. And even if he would believe one day that he was worth looking up to, she'd still tell him as much as she could.</p><p>"Are you ready to go?" Alice turned around and headed to the exit, until she noticed that FP didn't move a muscle.</p><p>When she turned around, she could see his eyes staring right into her soul. Tears were shimmering in his brown eyes. There was something about the look on his face she hadn't seen before. Was it doubt? Was it sadness? Was it fear?</p><p>"FP?" She asked him softly, almost a little worried. He swallowed and gave her the faintest of smiles. He was nervous, but it was time. This was the right moment.</p><p>"Yeah... I just can't believe this is where I am right now... a year ago that seemed impossible." He said softly as his nerves slowly rose inside of him to a level he could barely handle.</p><p>To say that the past year had been a rollercoaster, was an understatement. Though he was aware that he wasn't quite there yet, his life had turned upside down ever since the first time she looked at him.</p><p>From that first silent exchange, the ice storm, the first kiss, their first time, everything had completely changed. His life wasn't dark anymore. He had always only known the moon, but she brought sunlight back again.</p><p>Today, he would do anything to prove her that their relationship would be forever. He'd try to be her sun and let her rest and be the moon for a little while. Silent, calming but still shining.</p><p>"You really got your life on track, I'm very proud of you." She wrapped her small and delicate hands around his neck and brought him closer to let their lips mold together in a soft kiss. FP smiled shyly. He was starting to get proud of himself, but hearing it come from her meant everything to him.</p><p>"Alice... I'm not doing this just for me... for you, as well." He told her quietly as he looked directly into her eyes. If he really wanted a future with her, he needed to let go of his fears, all of them.</p><p>Her eyes looked up at him curiously, but softly. And it hit him, that every single time he felt his anxiety take over, when he wasn't sure or had his instincts to tell him to run, there she was looking at him with so much serenity in her eyes. She grounded him. She made him believe in himself. And he believed in her more than he did in anyone.</p><p>"Recently I've come to think that one day, I'd really love to be a parent." He told her, his cheeks glowing.</p><p>FP had known it ever since the moment he had told her that he loved her, after having the most wonderful Thanksgiving in his life. His conversation with Fred had only encouraged him more to go for it, to start this adventure together.</p><p>"If being around these kids can make me this happy, then I can't begin to imagine how that'd feel with my own child." He smiled and shook his head happily.</p><p>Alice's eyes gleamed, but he couldn't ignore the pools of tears in the most beautiful blue orbs he had ever seen. He knew that becoming parents together would ask for the both of them for a big sacrifice. FP took both her hands in his own and looked down at their intertwined fingers before looking back up at her. It seemed as if she wanted to say so much, but she stood there right in front of him, speechless.</p><p>"You were right, Alice. Loving someone isn't torture. It's beautiful. And since we won't be able to have a baby of our own, it leaves us with the option of adoption." He said softly and gave her hands a soft squeeze as she looked at him with her teary blue eyes.</p><p>"If we would choose to go down that route, I need to get my life together and show everyone that I can be a good parent." FP said determined, his voice cracking as he spoke.</p><p>He was ready to get professional help and really show the world that he could be the best father anyone had ever seen. It was a dream he didn't even know he had, but with Alice he wanted nothing more than to create a family.</p><p>One hand reached for her cheek to wipe away a tear that rolled down to her chin. She closed her eyes and leant into his touch with a warm smile on her face. Nobody had ever wanted this with her. Nobody had ever be willing to make this sacrifice.</p><p>"Are you ready to do this, together? To beat every fear we ever had and prove the world wrong?" He asked her softly, a hint of insecurity in his voice.</p><p>FP knew that there was a chance Alice didn't want to have a family anymore after what happened with Lily, that maybe she wasn't ready for that and never would be. He hoped she was willing to take the leap with him and give a baby in need of two loving parents the home they deserve. </p><p>FP reached for his pocket and took the tiny pink baby sock that he had embroidered with a white Lily flower and gently handed it over to her. Alice took the small sock into her delicate hands and cried softly, her heart both glowing and aching.</p><p>"Are you willing to do that for me?" She asked him quietly, as the happy tears gathered in her eyes.</p><p>Giving up his chance to have a baby of his own was something she would have never asked for him to give up, but here he was standing right in front of her asking her to create a family together. Alice wasn't sure she deserved someone that was willing to make this kind of sacrifice for her.</p><p>"I'd do anything for you." He said sweetly as his hands snaked around her waist. Gently, he kissed her forehead, making her smile even brighter.</p><p>"FP, do you have any idea what you're sacrificing for me?" Her voice trembled as she spoke, a fear that FP would realize what it would mean for him if they would choose to adopt.</p><p>He understood what it meant. But he would do it in a heartbeat, without doubts, without fears. If this was the only way for them to get a family, then he was more than willing to do anything to make sure that would happen.</p><p>One thing was for sure, he would never ask from to bring back her trauma by raising a baby that was only biological his, and not hers. Not after everything her husband had said. And though that was more than reason enough for him to go for adoption, he believed that there were enough children in the world that needed a loving home. He wanted to be that home for someone.</p><p>"Alice, DNA isn't what makes people parents. It's unconditional love and devotion. I think we're pretty good at that. Don't you?" He said softly, his forehead almost resting against hers.</p><p>"I do. I really do." She grinned brightly through her tears of joy. After losing Lily, she had tried to find peace with never becoming a parent, of never fulfilling her biggest dream.</p><p>Hal's words were something she never forgot. She was the one that couldn't get kids, but that didn't mean her partner couldn't. FP was willing to give that up for her and find a baby that needed a home, one they could give them, one filled with nothing but love.</p><p>"You've always been a mother. There is nobody as caring as you are to everyone who needs it. I really believe there is a baby out there in need of loving parents and the warm home we can give them. I want this with you, Alice." He said confidently, his eyes sparkling with hope.</p><p>FP didn't know anyone who was as loving, caring and devoted as Alice and he knew in his heart that she'd be the most wonderful mother he would ever see. Alice smiled happily as she tried to keep in the mixture of emotional and happy tears that were gathering in her eyes.</p><p>"I know that once it's our time, I'll learn how to be a father. But you? You're already a mom. The only thing missing is someone to give all that love and devotion to. We can have that together." He added sweetly, a smile curling on his lips as he looked at the twinkle of happiness in her eyes, one he hadn't seen before, not like this.</p><p>Alice couldn't control her emotions any longer and softly let into the building overwhelming inside of her. She clutched the pink baby sock tightly into her hands and the waterworks streamed down her face.</p><p>"Hey, come here." He tugged her into his embrace and softly kissed the top of her head while she held onto him, afraid to let go.</p><p>"Sorry, I just never thought that this would really be an option one day." She cried happily as she listened to his calming heartbeat.</p><p>He wanted her to become the mother of his kids and was willing to give up so many things just for her. It was a sacrifice she never believed anyone would ever make for her. And yet, FP had proved once again that he wasn't just anybody. He was her soulmate.</p><p>"You alright?" He pulled back a little and met her eyes. She nodded through her happy tears and chuckled a little. FP smiled at her. They were going to have a family. He was going to make sure of that, even if it would be the last thing he'd do.</p><p>"I'm going to fight as hard as I can until we have a baby, Alice. I promise you. We're going to have a family." He made a promise to her, one that he knew he was determined to keep. And he did.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"You know that my train could take you home<br/>Anywhere else is hollow<br/>I'm begging for you to take my hand<br/>Wreck my plans, that's my man"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Are We Out Of The Woods?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"To kiss in cars and downtown bars<br/>Was all we needed<br/>You drew stars around my scars<br/>But now I'm bleeding."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Six months later...</b>
</p><p>The sun shone through the curtains on Elm Street, effectively waking up FP out of his morning slumber. At the end of the bed, Suzie was purring in her sleep. The little cat had adjusted to her new home quickly, and FP still counted himself lucky to have found her. She truly gave him a great deal of comfort.</p><p>He stretched a little and turned on his side, his arm wrapped around Alice's waist. She was still fast asleep. He smiled to himself and pressed a few soft kisses against her bare skin, a gesture that tickled her enough for her to slowly open her eyes.</p><p>Alice stirred with a content hum and turned on her back, before she fluttered open her eyes and looked straight at FP, who was looking at her in full adoration. His fingers softly stroked her arm as he sent her his softest smile. If he had the time, he would stare at her forever.</p><p>“Good morning, beautiful. How did you  sleep?” He asked sweetly, laughing slightly when she stretched a little, telling him that she was still sleepy.</p><p>“I slept okay. How about you? Did you sleep alright?” Her hand reached up to his cheek and she softly started to tickle his stubble with her fingers.</p><p>“Always when I sleep next to you.” He winked, before leaning in and finally kissing her  lips for the first time that morning.</p><p>“Are you okay? Or are you still spiraling about what we talked about last night?” His hands kept on playing with her hair as he tried to read the expression on her face. She was most definitely lost in thought.</p><p>Ever since they had decided they wanted to become parents, a whole different journey had started. Truthfully, it was a lot harder than she had expected. Of course she knew that they had to fight hard, both apart and together, to make this happen, but somehow she had hoped for a miracle. As if there suddenly would be someone who would be willing to give them a baby.</p><p>But to prove that they could handle this responsibility they had gone into therapy, which she had also underestimated. It was worth every second, but it made her wonder if they would ever get lucky enough to start a family.</p><p>Six months had passed and though they were maturing and learning a lot together, there were certain moments where she lost all hope. Last night had been one of these moments, but fortunately she had FP to make her sorrows disappear. As always, he had her back the way she had his. It's one of the things that made her believe that they deserved to have the family they wished for.</p><p>“I'm just afraid that it might not happen.” She confessed in a whisper, her eyes glued to the ceiling.</p><p>“Hey, it only has been a couple of months... It's not going to be a smooth sailing. It can take a while.” He gave her a small smile as he tried to give her a little bit of comfort, but if he was being honest with himself, part of him was scared too.</p><p>However, he had learned that he really had to believe. Especially when Alice lost faith every now and then, he needed to stay positive.</p><p>“It's hard to wait for something you want so badly.” She turned her head sidewards and looked at him, the faintest of smiles on her lips.</p><p>“I've waited for you almost twenty years... and believe me, it's all worth the wait.” His voice was so sweet and sincere that Alice teared up. It made her feel calmer knowing that would always hold hope.</p><p>“Come, let me make your favorite breakfast.” FP jumped out of bed and walked over to the other side and took her hand.</p><p>She was still trying to figure out how it could be that he always knew how to cheer her up, but maybe the answer to that question was simple. He always saw through her.</p><p>Once in the kitchen, Suzie followed them quickly as if she was afraid that they would leave her upstairs. Alice had picked her up, and she settled contently into her arms. While she sat down on one of the barstool, FP started to make them some breakfast.</p><p>He turned the French toast around in full concentration, not noticing the way that Alice was looking at him with a smirk on her face. She admired every part of him and wished she could stare at him all day. FP looked up from the frying pan and saw the twinkle in her eyes.</p><p>“What are you staring at?” He grinned.</p><p>“At how sexy you look when you cook for me.” She teased, set Suzie down on the floor, stood up from her place and walked over to him to wrap her arms around his waist with a mischievous smirk on her lips.</p><p>“You think so? Or is that a trick to get me to make breakfast for you every day?” He played along and chuckled a little as he saw her laugh at him like that.</p><p>“A little bit of both.” She pecked a quick kiss on his lips and he laughed. Not that he minded, he would make breakfast for her every single day for the rest of her life if she would let him.</p><p>The sound of the doorbell interrupted their moment of bliss, making Alice take a little sprint to the front door. It was barely ten in the morning and they didn't expect any company. However, when she opened the door she was met with the shining bright brown eyes of Mary.</p><p>“Mary! Would you like to join us for breakfast? FP is making more than enough.” Alice chirped happily. What she didn't see though, was the worry in her neighbor's eyes.</p><p>“Thank you for the offer, but I actually came for something else.” She told her, her voice not betraying her concern just yet. Alice gestured for her to come further.</p><p>Once she was in the kitchen, she laid the newspaper of that morning on the counter. Both FP and Alice looked down at it, curious to find out what Mary was trying to tell them.</p><p>“Hiram is out of prison. And look at the other side of the paper. That can't be a coincidence.” Mary showed them the front page that ironically enough covered that he was a free man again, but it was the other side that was really frightening.</p><p>On the back there was an article about a new project at the edge of Fox Forest. Hiram's company planned on building new apartments there, which most likely would be sold for way too much money and wouldn't solve the problem of the shortage of houses for the middle class. And though that was a problem on its own, it wasn't why they should be worried.</p><p>FP wanted to raise his eye brow and ask what Mary was aiming on, but then it suddenly hit him. If Hiram was going to build there and destroy that part of the woods... that meant something for him to.</p><p>“Wait... my home is at that side of the woods. Can he do that?” FP's eyes grew wide, his eyes glued on the article that told him that he would lose his home.</p><p>Technically, he didn't own the cabin. He had taken it since nobody else paid any interests and turned it into his home, but legally, he would lose this fight in court. It was a battle he knew immediately he'd lose, but the thought of having to let go of a place so important to him made him nauseous.</p><p>“Afraid so,” Mary said sadly, trying to look at FP and read in his eyes how he was feeling about this.</p><p>“Alice, isn't there something you can do as mayor? Doesn't this have to go past you?” FP turned to his girlfriend who had a frown on her face. This was bad news and she had no idea how to solve it.</p><p>“The township of Sweetwater Triangle is in charge of everything that gets built or removed, they don't need my permission for this.” Alice sighed and looked at FP with guilt in her eyes. It seemed as if Hiram had outsmart her when she had least expected it. A year ago they put him into jail, but he had been plotting his sweet revenge.</p><p>“We have to do something!” FP exclaimed, his emotions rising higher than he had expected by the possible loss of something that was so valuable to him. It couldn't be that someone with a dark heart like Hiram could win like this, could it?</p><p>“Honey, look at me. We will, okay? We're not going to let this happen.” Alice took his face into her small hands and made him look straight at her. They weren't giving up this easily. FP relaxed a little by her touch and breathed out. He was scared, but they needed to find a way.</p><p>“Mary, do you know by any chance when this project is starting?” Alice turned to her friend, who was trying to think of any ways to stop this awful plan. It wasn't just FP's home, a beautiful part of the forest would be destroyed for good as well.</p><p>“Knowing Hiram? Very soon.” She shook her head and sighed.</p><p>“That bastard should rot in hell.” FP gritted through his teeth. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands in frustration, wanting nothing more than to once and for all make sure that Hiram would leave him alone.</p><p>“Didn't he have a few more years left? How come he is out so easily?” Alice asked, as she recalled the day he was proven guilty at his trial. He had to serve a few years, how come he was already free after such a short time?</p><p>“He's the richest man in town. He probably has his people on the inside.” Mary thought out loud. She had known Hiram ever since she was a teenager and he had always been a little shady. Though, she had never expected for him to stoop this low.</p><p>“I'm going to get to work, alright? To find out a little bit more about it.” Alice promised him. FP nodded sadly, but had trouble believing that they would win a fight with a man like that who had everything they had not.</p><p>**</p><p>After Alice had taken off to go to work and try to look for a loophole that most likely didn't exist, FP had gone to the place that felt like home like nothing else did. Though living permanently at Elm Street with Alice had been a dream, he wasn't ready to let go of something so precious to him.</p><p>He had taken his bike and drove towards the edge of the woods to finally be back at his cabin again. He wasn't sure how many time he would have left with his home, his safe haven, and so he didn't want to waste a second. If he was going to lose, at least he wanted to say goodbye to the place that had been where he had survived and where he had lived for almost twenty years.</p><p>He sat down in front of his door, knees to his chest and closed his eyes. The smell of fresh air and rain that still lingered on the leaves was something that would always comfort him. He was home.</p><p>“FP!” Someone called his name, making him open his eyes. He saw a raven haired girl running his way.</p><p>“Veronica? What are you doing here?” FP stood up with a frown on his face. Why had she come here? And how did she even know he had been here?</p><p>“I came to warn you. My dad, he--” She started to ramble out of breath from running up the small hill, but FP saved her the trouble.</p><p>“I know. He's going to destroy this place.” He said, casting his eyes down to the ground. He appreciated that she wanted to help him, but all was lost.</p><p>“When?” FP looked at her, his eyes twinkling with tears.</p><p>“Tomorrow. He has been planning this for a while. I've tried to talk to him but...” Veronica stopped mid sentence, knowing that even no matter how hard she had tried to change her father's mind, it wouldn't stop him from destroying a place that meant so much to FP.</p><p>FP casted his eyes away. Tomorrow. One more day was all he had, before it'd all end. He shook his head sadly and turned back to the cabin and sat down on the little bench in front of his window.</p><p>“Are you okay?” She walked over to the little wooden house and slowly sat down next to him.</p><p>“No, I'm not.” FP confessed with a low scoff, his tears ready to fall. However, he didn't want to cry in front of a teenager. His pain wasn't her problem and he didn't want it to be. She had already done more than he would have ever asked from her.</p><p>“One more day... and I'll lose the place that has seen everything. My pain, my fear, my grief... how I fell in love. All of it. I can't believe I'm going to lose it.” FP said quietly, as he took the porcelain elephant next to the bench into his hands.</p><p>It was the last thing he needed to take with him. When he had moved in with Alice permanently, he had taken all the elephants to their house on the Northside, except for this one. He thought that if he would leave the one close to his front door, Fred would watch over his home. Maybe he couldn't anymore, maybe it had become too much for him.</p><p>“You're not. We're not going to let this happen.” Veronica said sternly, her eyes burning with passion. She was ready for a war against her father, to fight for herself and for FP.</p><p>“Veronica... I can't beat you father. That's no fair fight.” FP shook his head sadly.</p><p>Normally, he would always try to fight for a good cause, but he knew Hiram. They had won from him once, but this proved that no matter how hard they would fight, he'd always return twice as strong.</p><p>“You have something he hasn't. Come with me, I have an idea.” Veronica tugged on his arm with a mischievous smile on her lips.</p><p>This was a girl with a plan, and nothing was going to stop her. FP frowned, but he stood up anyway. If she had so much fire in her to win this from her own father, then maybe nothing was lost after all.</p><p>**</p><p>Veronica had taken him to the Wyrm, where she had gathered all the young Serpents, the ones that FP had taken under his wing ever since had become Serpent King. When he entered the bar, he looked at a team of determined teenagers, who were all ready to join him in this battle against Hiram Lodge. They were going to take care of their own.</p><p>“We've got your back, FP. Through everything. A Serpent never stands alone.” Sweet Pea patted his back and looked around the other Serpents, who nodded in agreement. After all FP had done for them, it was time to repay him.</p><p>“If we're doing this... it's war.” FP looked around to find some sort of hesitation, but all of them looked back at him with a confident look on their face. Maybe Veronica was right. He wasn't alone.</p><p>“In unity, there is strength!” Fangs shouted, followed by everyone else who cheered along.</p><p>FP smiled gratefully. He never had this much support before, it felt good. Maybe he couldn't win the war on his own, but Veronica was right. He had a team, a family.</p><p>“Thank you, all of you. We're going to win this, alright? We've got something stronger than Hiram has. We've got each other.” FP pulled his arms around Sweet Pea and Veronica and soon, they were all joined into a group hug.</p><p>His heart was glowing by the unconditional support of his found family. He had learned them to have each other's back and now he was being repaid for that life lesson.</p><p>“I'll get everything ready for tomorrow. We'll see each other at noon.” FP said confidently, his eyes sparkling with passion. This fight wasn't over. Hiram hadn't won yet and he was going to show them.</p><p>**</p><p>FP was cleaning up in the Wyrm when Alice walked in at the end of the day. She had been worried sick about how FP had been holding up all day, especially when she knew that she was going to bring him news that would upset him even more. She didn't want to be the one to break his heart even more, but there was no other choice left.</p><p>“Honey, how are you feeling?” She walked over to him and took his hand in her own. This morning she had seen the look of defeat in his eyes, but something had changed. There was fire again.</p><p>“I'm alright. I'm not going down without a fight.” He gave her a smile, one that she believed this time. But why? What had changed in those few hours?</p><p>“Did you find something?” He asked her, his voice hopeful. She was his only chance of winning this war once and for all and not just the battle.</p><p>“I haven't. I've tried to contact the mayors of Greendale and Centerville, but nothing.” Alice said quietly, her eyes filled with guilt.</p><p>She had expected for him to cry, or at least see how upsetting it was to hear that it looked like they were losing, but to her surprise the spark of passion hadn't vanished.</p><p>“That's okay. We've got a plan.” He assured her and squeezed her hand. Alice raised her eyebrow confused.</p><p>“We're going to protect it.” He told her, a beaming smile on his face.</p><p>Truth was, he had never felt this supported and confident about protecting something that meant so much to him. In his heart, he could feel that they had a chance of winning as long as they had each other.</p><p>“How?” Alice asked, a little surprised.</p><p>“Chaining ourselves to my house. He can't destroy it if we're all in the way.” FP stated, as if it was the most normal plan they had ever come up with.</p><p>Alice admired their strength and the will to fight a man like Hiram, but doing something that reckless seemed like a bad idea. Those things would only be a temporary solution and could make them end up in jail.</p><p>“FP, are you serious?” Alice said in disbelief, taking her hand out of his.</p><p>She couldn't possibly support a plan like that, not when it wasn't thought through. This wasn't a movie, this was reality and she hoped that he could see the insanity of this plan.</p><p>“Why are you looking like that?” FP looked at her with a puzzled expression, hurt flashing in his eyes.</p><p>“That's insane! Someone could get hurt, there are teenagers amongst them.” Alice tried to reason with him to open his eyes of what could possibly happen, but FP didn't take that concern all too well.</p><p>“We're going to be fine, Alice. The Serpents have my back. The question is, do you?” From the start, he had believed that she would back him up with this, but now he read the hesitation in her eyes he suddenly wondered if that was the case.</p><p>“I don't believe this will work.” She told him calmly, trying to ease things before they would get into a fight.</p><p>“Does it look like I have another choice! He is destroying my home, Alice!” FP exclaimed, the vein in his forehead thumbing dangerously.</p><p>He was desperate, and all he had were the Serpents who were willing to take a risk to protect his cabin, his safe haven. If he would pull the plug on this plan, he'd lose the fight before it had even started.</p><p>“I thought that we had a home together. Doesn't seem like it.” Alice said quietly, casting her eyes downwards to avoid looking at him.</p><p>However, she couldn't help but listen to the voices in her head that told her that this was about more than his cabin. What if he needed that place to go to when she was too much for him? What if he thought that one day he would need it again to live, to be free from her?</p><p>“Tell me, are you so upset about this because you still need an out? Are you going to wake up one day and see all that I am not?” She asked, her voice trembling with nerves.</p><p>It wouldn't be the first time someone would see all her flaws and love her less for it. Even when FP knew more about her than anyone ever did, it still scared her. Maybe because he knew her so well, she was even more terrified.</p><p>One day, it would become too much to handle and he could run away to the place that was his home, without her. His face softened, but her words made his heart ache. He would have never thought Alice would ever think this way about him, not after all they had been through.</p><p>“Is that what you believe? Alice... do you remember how you met me? I was terrified of letting someone in and now... we chose to create a family together. That means everything to me.” FP said softly, looking directly into her blue eyes so she would see the sincerity in his brown ones.</p><p>“I love you, but if there is a part of you that doesn't understand why I want to protect my cabin, the place that has been the home of everything I have felt for two decades... then maybe you don't know me at all.” He shook his head sadly and walked past her towards the entrance of the bar. All he needed was some air to see things clear again.</p><p>“I hope you'll be there tomorrow.” He turned around, meeting her eyes once more. They were filled with tears. And no matter his instincts telling him to comfort her, this was about something bigger.</p><p>“FP... please, don't walk away.” Alice asked him, her voice cracking. She didn't want him to go, not like this.</p><p>“I need to be alone. Okay?” He told her, his voice soft. And then he left, out of the bar, out of the Southside, to his cabin to spend the night there for what he thought would be the very last time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"I sit and watch you<br/>I notice everything you do or don't do<br/>You're so much older and wiser, and I"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The Memories Between These Walls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"With you, I serve<br/>With you, I fall down, down (down)<br/>Watch you breathe in<br/>Watch you breathing out, out"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alice had been tossing and turning all night, replaying her fight with FP over and over in her head. She needed to find a solution, one that wouldn't bring him and the Serpents into danger. Part of her had wanted to go after him and join his plan, but she didn't want for any of the teenagers to get hurt. It was simply too risky.</p><p>She had to stay loyal to her mind, no matter how hard her heart wished to be by his side. There was one more day where in she could think of any way to safe the cabin and the forest it was part of.</p><p>Ironically enough, the sun was shining on her face, creating a warm glow. Though the universe seemed to think it was a beautiful day, Alice was very much aware of the dark cloud hanging above them. But before she would acknowledge all that could happen today, she needed a cup of coffee to wake up. In the early morning she had stopped at Pop's to take one to go, something she couldn't function without.</p><p>However, she wished she would have gotten her coffee at City Hall, because when she exited the diner, she passed the one person that made her blood boil. Hiram Lodge. The man that was trying to destroy FP in any way he could. The man that dared to hurt her loved one. When he noticed Alice, he stopped in his tracks and smirked at her.</p><p>“Miss Mayor... how have you been? It's been a long time, don't you think?” Hiram turned around when she walked past him, her face as dark as thunder.</p><p>“Ignoring me now, are you?” He called after her with a victorious tone, because he felt he had gotten under her skin. This time, she turned around on her heel.</p><p>Step by step, she walked over to the man she despised, narrowing her eyes at him and her hand clutching onto her coffee, almost squeezing it too hard.</p><p>“Do you have a heart, Hiram?” She asked him rhetorically, her eyes involuntary filling with tears.</p><p>Looking straight at the one person that was hurting the man she loved was something she couldn't bear. And it wasn't the first time either. No, it looked like he always had a plan to destroy him and it only made her want to fight harder against the evil inside of him. As a politician she had learned to set her own emotions aside, but he was getting too close.</p><p>“Do you know how much pain you're causing innocent people? To your own daughter?” She spat, trying to find for some look of regret on his face, but couldn't find a single trace. Maybe she was right. Maybe he didn't have a heart.</p><p>“You're not winning this. I promise you that I won't stop until you get what you deserve. Got it?” Alice warned him once and for all, her eyes filled with passion.</p><p>She didn't care what she had to do, but she was going to defeat him even if it would be thing she would do on this Earth. It was the least she owed FP, she believed.</p><p>“Is this about my new project? Please, that doesn't concern you.” He scoffed and shook his head with a cheeky smile on his face.</p><p>“Or is this about FP Jones?” Hiram was hit by a sudden realization that the woman in front of him was still very much in a relationship with the man he was trying to provoke.</p><p>Usually, the last thing he cared about was other people's relationship, but in this case it was more than interesting. They had outsmarted him before, because he had become reckless. But this time, he was keeping his eye on both of them. That he could take her down with him in his war against FP was just an added bonus.</p><p>“Come on, Alice. We're both from rich families. I am sure you don't give a single care about that old thing. It's just a piece of wood.” He told her, almost laughing in her face.</p><p>He believed that if he would try enough, Alice would realize that building new apartments for the township mattered more than the loss of an old house that wasn't even legally owned by anybody.</p><p>However, that's where he underestimated her. It was true, Alice had grown up in a rich family and never had to doubt that they would have financial troubles.</p><p>The thing that made her different was that she had never cared about all that she could buy. It was everything that's even out of the control of rich people that meant something to her. As a relationship that had unconditional love as a foundation. As having a family. She fought for the good causes, for the right side.</p><p>“That's where you are wrong, Hiram. It's way more than that.” It was all she said to him before walking away, not giving him another chance to talk her or FP down. This was war and Alice was determined to win.</p><p>**</p><p>FP tried his best not to show it, but his whole body was trembling with nerves. He sat on the small front porch, Veronica to his right, Sweet Pea to his left. He had the key to the chain that held them and the cabin together tightly clutched in his fist.</p><p>It was now or never. If he had been alone like he had been for the past two decades he would have given up from the start. His found family were the ones that made it all worth fighting for again.</p><p>Everyone had showed up. The Serpents were there, including the two he was most close to— Sweet Pea and Fangs. Besides them, Mary and Archie had joined as had Cheryl and Veronica. He had never felt more loved and supported than he did today. Even if he'd lose, he'd still have a family. However, there was one person who he needed to he here. But she wasn't. She hadn't come.</p><p>FP felt his heart break knowing that he couldn't count on her support, that she didn't care how devastated he'd be if this would be the end of the place that had always be his home.</p><p>As if Sweet Pea knew what he was thinking about, he gave him a sad smile, telling him that it would okay, with or without her. For now, FP believed him.</p><p>There was no time to dwell on this sadness any longer, as the ground started to tremble, a sign that the machines were close. Slowly, the wrecking balls came in sight. FP gulped. They were bigger than he had expected. He thought those things were only used in movies, but it seemed that Hiram had chosen to make a scene, to make this as dramatic and painful as possible.</p><p>“Take each other's hands. We've got this.” He took Veronica's and Sweet Pea's hands into his own and squeezed, telling them that as long as they were together they couldn't lose.</p><p>“There he is...” Sweet Pea mumbled, as he saw the machines driving their way up the hill, coming closer and closer. Usually, he wasn't easily scared but in a situation like this, even he could feel the anxiety flowing through his veins.</p><p>“Shit, that looks dangerous,” Fangs added a little scared, but nobody moved even a little bit. They were in it together. They could win this.</p><p>But no matter how confident all of them appeared to be, FP started to lose faith. Not because he didn't believe in them, but because he didn't want anyone to be part of something this dangerous. He had made a mistake.</p><p>“This is wrong, I shouldn't have involved you in this. Alice was right.” FP suddenly realized that she had only tried to warn him for the consequences, and he really didn't want for all these young people to get hurt because of him.</p><p>Hiram stepped out of his car, as he had taken the time to be here this afternoon, wanting to see the end of the cabin and the hurt he'd bring everyone involved. If FP and Alice hadn't taken those pictures, he would have never gotten in jail. What goes around, comes around, right?</p><p>His expensive shoes were getting dirty by the ground of the woods, but at this very moment it was all worth it. If one person didn't belong here, it were him.</p><p>But Hiram had the power to make this his own, to put his mark here and destroy everything that lived and breathed in the woods, including FP. He laughed mockingly when he saw what kind of stunt they had pulled.</p><p>“Wow. Is that all you've got FP? A bunch of teenagers?” Hiram mocked, scanning the faces of everyone that had joined them, including his very own daughter.</p><p>His eyes grew wide for a second, realizing which side she had chosen. but he quickly got himself together. He had never been more embarrassed of her and he would make that very clear.</p><p>“Veronica, I don't want you nesting with this low class. Come here.” He gestured with his hand for her to join his side, but the girl looked back at him with fire in her eyes.</p><p>“No. I'm staying. We don't let each other down. Something you don't know about.” She squeezed Cheryl's and FP's hands tightly.</p><p>Even when she sounded confident, she was scared till deep in her core. Not once in her life she had stood up against her father, but something told her that it was the right time.</p><p>“Don't be ridiculous. Cut it out with the teenage rebellion. We're family.” He tried to give her a smile, one that wasn't so hard to look through.</p><p>However, it were exactly those words that made Veronica feel even more sure about her decision to join FP and the Serpents. She had come up with this plan for a reason. Not just for the forest. Not just for the cabin, but for herself as well.</p><p>“You think you have the right to demand this from me? If we were a family, you wouldn't have used me to try to frame an innocent man.” She spat back, not afraid anymore of anything he'd say. The game was on and she was going to win.</p><p>“If you don't choose wisely right now, you won't be my daughter anymore.” He threatened dangerously, his eyes demanding for her to pick now or lose forever.</p><p>FP swallowed as he looked at the young woman, her eyes filled with tears. He couldn't possibly ask her to give up the relationship with her father. He wouldn't blame her if she would pick the man that had taken care of her for eighteen years over a group of people she had only known for a short amount of time.</p><p>“Veronica, it's okay. You can go to your Dad.” He said softly, giving her hand a comforting squeeze.</p><p>She looked at FP for a second, almost as if she was trying to find the right answer in his eyes. FP wanted to let go of her hand to give her the opportunity to unlock herself and go to her father, but she only held on tighter to the two people who were holding her hand.</p><p>“Good thing I don't want to be your daughter anymore. I'm staying with my family, at this side. The good side.” She told her father fiercely, her eyes twinkling with sadness even when her heart knew she had made the right choice.</p><p>Hiram sighed. He didn't have time for this game anymore. After all, he had permission to take it down and everyone chained to the cabin was violating the law. If he wanted to, he could call Sheriff Keller and throw all of them in jail.</p><p>“If all of you don't move, the consequences are yours. Do you all really want to risk your life for this man? Come on, even for a bunch of Serpents that is pathetic. He pretends to be there for you now, but before you can blink twice, he's gone.”</p><p>Hiram looked at all of them one by one, trying to break them with his words. He knew they were vulnerable to uncertainty and the chance of betrayal from the people they care about.</p><p>“You know it's true, FP. You always run from everything, things won't be different this time. You'll abandon these kids just like your own Dad abandoned you.” Hiram smirked at FP, as they locked eyes.</p><p>FP's nostrils flared and he wanted nothing more than to stand up and punch him in the face, to make him feel even the slightest bit of pain he had been feeling ever since he was a teenager. He knew it was all Hiram wanted so he could call Keller and sue him for assault, which was the only reason he stayed calm.</p><p>“If I were you, I would stop talking right now.” A woman's voice called from behind. All eyes turned her way. It was Alice. She had come.</p><p>“Miss Mayor... good to see you. Here to see the show?” Hiram clapped his hands together. If there was one thing he would love to see, it was the look of defeat on her face when she was losing.</p><p>She walked towards the cabin, her eyes glued on Hiram. She was ready to take him down once and for all, but first she needed to get something off her chest. Nobody talked about FP like that, not on her watch.</p><p>“FP doesn't run. He takes responsibility. These kids mean the world to him, more than you can ever imagine. He gives them everything he wished he had gotten. I have never seen someone turn his life around the way FP has done. And see what it's gotten him? A family. One you just lost.” She spat in his face.</p><p>FP looked at her in bewilderment as he heard her touching words. He couldn't believe that she had come here to join them, to show him that she did care. Everyone else started to grin when they saw Alice standing up to Hiram, feeling that they weren't alone. She had their back.</p><p>“This is all very moving, but we have work to do,” Hiram snapped his fingers to the crew, telling him to start with the taking down cabin and everything around it.</p><p>“Oh no, I don't think so,” Alice held up her hand without taking her eyes off Hiram, telling them to stop immediately.</p><p>“You thought you could outsmart me, didn't you? Well, even when I couldn't stop your plans, this is still my town.” She smirked devilishly when she saw that he arched his eyebrow. She got him exactly where she wanted.</p><p>Alice handed him over the form that she had brought with her, wanting for him to put the puzzle pieces together himself.</p><p>“What's this?” He took the piece of paper and scanned it quickly.</p><p>“Fox Forest is now protected as cultural heritage of the Sweetwater Triangle. Nothing can be built here. Not now, not ever.”</p><p>Alice crossed her arms and smirked victoriously. She had won. They had won. There had been one way to overrule the township's board, and she had found just in time.</p><p>FP's mouth fell open. She had done it. She had found the loophole she needed to safe the cabin. That was why she hadn't shown up earlier, she had been too busy doing everything she could. He felt incredibly bad for ever doubting that she was on his side. Turned out, she had been the one saving him, the cabin and the forest all along.</p><p>“I think we're done here,” She looked up the workers, giving them a mischievous smile.</p><p>“You've won the battle, but not the war, Smith.” Hiram warned her dangerously.</p><p>His eyes were spitting fire, one that was driven by the urge to destroy her and all she stood for. But Alice wasn't scared. He was never going to win, no matter how hard he'd try.</p><p>FP unlocked himself from the chain and immediately ran his way towards Alice to embrace her in the tightest hug he had ever given her. His nose nuzzled in her hair as he held onto her, still in awe of all that she had done for him. He felt guilty for ever thinking she didn't have his back, especially after all they had been through together.</p><p>Alice pulled back from their embrace and looked at him with tear filled eyes. She knew she shouldn't have ever doubted him. He had been desperate to save his home and she should have been there from the beginning, no exceptions. She hoped he could ever forgive her for that.</p><p>“I'm so sorry. I should've supported you from the start.” She said quietly, her eyes twinkling. Her hands lingered on his waist as he took her face into his hands, his eyes sparkling with happiness.</p><p>“You saved my home. You saved the forest. How did you—” He shook his head in confusion with the biggest smile on his face. At moments like these, he really believed she was an angel. She really came just in time to be the wonder he had hoped for.</p><p>“This morning I found the loophole I needed. Pulled an emergency meeting with the city counsellors and made it just in time.” She smiled at him, a little proud of herself of having pulled it off when all the odds had been against them.</p><p>“I love you. I love you so much.” He kissed her passionately, not planning to ever let go of her lips. Every single day, she still surprised him with new sides of her and he couldn't stop himself from falling even harder. She had him. Forever.</p><p>“I love you too, FP.” Alice beamed, after pulling back with a giggle. She was relieved they were okay again. Her hand reached for his cheek and softly stroke it as she looked right into his shining brown eyes.</p><p>“I'm sorry for what I said. I never wanted to give you the intention I wasn't supportive. I know what the cabin means to you. I shouldn't have projected my own insecurities on you, that wasn't fair.” She gave him a sad smile.</p><p>It had been her fear of losing the one person she knew she couldn't live without anymore and even when in her heart she was sure they would grow old together, part of her still worried that one day this dream would be over.</p><p>“Don't be sorry, I was acting out of passion, while you were right. I shouldn't have brought these kids in danger, I should have listened to you. I am the one who should apologize. I'm sorry.”</p><p>He wished he could have seen that his emotions made his sight blurry and that it had lead to their first fight. Instead, he had should've trusted Alice. Walking away was never the right option and he'd never do that again.</p><p>“Maybe that is why we work so well together. I am the impulsive heart... and you are the strong mind. A perfect balance.” He nudged his nose against hers as he held her even closer.</p><p>FP did truly believe that nobody had ever been as perfect for him as she was. They were opposites, yet the same. Two puzzle pieces who completed each other and made one another stronger.</p><p>“Alice... I hope you do know that I don't want an out, ever again. I didn't want to protect my cabin so I had somewhere to go, because I'll stay with you forever.” FP said sweetly, tears swimming in his eyes because of the overwhelming feeling of loving her.</p><p>When he met Alice, he had tried with all he had to push her away and stay alone like he had always been. Something stronger than themselves had fought, and they made it. Now he had her, he wasn't ever going to let go.</p><p>“I know that. I think after everything, I was scared to lose you.” She confessed, her cheeks blushing.</p><p>Alice knew that she had no reason to think that this between them would burst, but sometimes the voices in her head were too loud to ignore them. She had lost the people she loved before and couldn't bear the thought of him waking up one day and leaving too.</p><p>“You won't. I love you too much for that.” FP smiled at her and kissed her once more, his lips molding together with hers so perfectly. He was sure they were made for each other.</p><p>“What do you say we stay over here tonight?” Alice proposed with a sweet smile on her face. She had always loved staying at the cabin. All their firsts had happened there, something she would cherish forever.</p><p>“I'd love that,” FP kissed her forehead and pulled her close.</p><p>This morning it had looked like they would lose, but now both his cabin and the woods were protected, he trusted that doing good would always pay off.</p><p>**</p><p>Alice changed into a sweater and some sweatpants that they had brought from Elm Street, and watched as FP changed into a sleeping shirt. He looked so peaceful, it warmed her heart. She knew he saw Elm Street as their home now, but nothing would ever live up to his own safe haven, the place that had been his for eighteen years. And truthfully, she was okay with that.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?” She started carefully, making him look up. He sat down on the edge of the bed and nodded.</p><p>“What is it Hiram said about your Dad?” Alice walked his way and sat next to him, trying to catch his eyes.</p><p>FP immediately looked down at the floor and folded his hands together. He hadn't talked about that since high school and he never would have thought he ever had to again. It was a chapter he had closed, a box full of memories he believed he never had to open again. But this wasn't just anyone asking, this was Alice. And he trusted her with every piece of his past.</p><p>“Oh, that...” He said quietly, his eyes glossing over. He could feel her hand on top of his own locked hands. She broke them free from each other to intertwine his hand with her own.</p><p>“Fred was the only one I had ever told but I guess everyone knew...” He shrugged a little, pretending that it all left him cold, when his heart ached in his chest even thinking of the man his father had been. He looked up at Alice, her eyes soft and inviting.</p><p>“My Dad, he... he used to have some loose hands. Drowned himself in the bottle.” He told her quietly, swallowing his tears to make sure he wouldn't break down.</p><p>“Did he ever...?” Alice was afraid to finish her sentence, because deep down she knew the answer already.</p><p>“Hit me? Yeah.” FP scoffed lowly and poked his tongue into his cheek. What his father did to him had changed his whole life. He could never forgive him for that.</p><p>“Ruined my chances to go to college with a football scholarship. It's why I joined the army.” FP told her, squeezing her hand to hold onto something.</p><p>If his father had never broken his wrist, he wouldn't have gone to the army, Fred wouldn't have joined him and he'd still be here. It was the moment everything had changed.</p><p>“I had no idea. I'm sorry.” Alice's voice cracked and she pressed a kiss on his bicep.</p><p>She knew that FP had been through a lot with the loss of his best friend who felt like a brother, but no part of her had ever thought his father had treated him this way. She wished she could have been there for him back then, to make sure he wouldn't get hurt.</p><p>“Me too.” He whispered, looking straight into her eyes as he gave her a sad smile.</p><p>She noticed how one tear escaped the corner of his eyes. She was quick to wipe it away.</p><p>“A man like that doesn't deserve your tears.” She told him, her thumb stroking over his cheek. FP sniffed.</p><p>“I know that. I have put it behind me a long time ago. Sometimes it just scares me. I hope I'll be a better father.” He threw his arm around her to pull her closer to him, needing her to be as near as possible.</p><p>“You will, honey. You'll be the most amazing father.”<br/>She took his face into her hands and turned his head her way, making sure he was looking straight into her eyes.</p><p>He needed to believe her. FP smiled. Her faith in him was all he needed. It made him want to believe in himself.</p><p>“I can't even count the amount of nights I ran away towards Fred's house to stay there. His door was always open for me and his parents treated me like their own. That's the kind of family I want. A family where everybody can feel at home.” He dreamed out loud, making Alice smile. She wanted nothing more than to be a family where everyone is welcome.</p><p>“Then that's the family we'll have.” She told him, her eyes twinkling with hope.</p><p>If she was sure of one thing, it was that FP would be a great father. When their time would come, they'd have a warm, loving family together.</p><p>FP smiled gratefully and then averted his gaze, his eyes following every line on the wood, every single crack, every single curve. He had looked at it for eighteen years, but now his life was changing he could see it in a new, different, way.</p><p>“What is it?” She asked him, when she noticed that he was drifting off to his own little world.</p><p>“This may sound weird but...” He turned his head to her to look into her eyes, and then reminded himself that there wasn't anything he could say that she wouldn't understand, or wouldn't try to.</p><p>“For so long, this cabin was my family.” FP said, his voice soft. It felt strange to say it out loud, especially since he was fully aware that a house wasn't a living being. But still, it felt like more than place to call home.</p><p>“I mean, Mary has always been my family too, but there is so much pain that I tried to hide from her, that these walls all have seen.” He explained, shaking his head just slightly as if for the first time he realized what the cabin truly represented.</p><p>“And the wood... you might not see it nor hear it, but it lives.” FP stood up from the bed and grazed with his fingers over the wall, before walking towards the living room as if he was being led by something else than his own will. Alice followed him quietly.</p><p>“Remember the first time I painted you, on this couch? And the other time I did, with all the candles surrounding you?” He turned around to look at her and his face lightened up when he mentioned two of their memories that were very special to both of them.</p><p>“Or how we kissed for the very first time right over there?” He gestured for the corner by the couch and grinned. It felt like a lifetime ago.</p><p>Everything had been so different back then. He remembered having trouble opening up, struggling to fight the feeling of falling in love with her. And now they were trying to have a baby together. He was grateful that she had been so patient with him, that it had given them the chance to end up here, together.</p><p>“And our date, with the meteoric shower and where I made a wish for us to be each other's destiny?” FP made his way over to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, while she looked up at him with a happy smile. Her arms snaked around his neck while he swayed them just slightly.</p><p>“Because it lives, it remembers.” He whispered, before resting his forehead against hers to close his eyes for a little bit. This place had seen everything. His darkest nights of isolation and his brightest days of falling in love.</p><p>“You only mentioned your happy memories.” Alice said quietly, making him open his eyes.</p><p>She had listened to every word he said, trying to find any hint towards his pain, but there wasn't. Only the magical things that had happened between them.</p><p>“The first things you thought of were memories of us.” She added, her smile growing wider.</p><p>“They are stronger than any painful ones.” He told her, smiling a little to himself as he realized that after years, the happiness he felt was overshadowing the darkness in his mind.</p><p>“I don't think I'll ever be able to say goodbye to this place. I want to remember every single thing that happened here, even the painful things these walls have seen. One day, I want to take our kid here to tell them this was my darkest hiding spot and the place where I found light again.”</p><p>He held his arms tightly wrapped around her in a bear hug, to make sure she was as close as she could possibly be.</p><p>“You can keep it forever, FP.” Alice whispered softly, as she began to believe that these walls did indeed remember. And she hoped, that it would remember today too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Long story short, it was a bad time<br/>Long story short, I survived."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. My Chosen Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Pack your dolls and a sweater<br/>We'll move to India forever<br/>Passed down like folk songs<br/>Our love lasts so long"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few days later, Alice and FP walked into Pop's to get some breakfast. It was a quiet morning, something they both really appreciated. However, something was off about the diner. It didn't have the usual ambience it always had. Cheryl and Veronica were standing behind the counter, but instead of greeting their customers with a warm good morning, they both yawned loudly and didn't register the couple walking in.</p><p>A little apprehensive, they walked towards the counter, making Cheryl and Veronica realize that two customers had come in.</p><p>“Oh, good morning. We hadn't seen you.” Cheryl excused them, offering the couple a smile and took her notepad to write down the order. FP scanned their faces, and noticed the bags under their eyes that usually weren't there.</p><p>“Are you two okay? You look... tired.” He asked carefully, afraid to strike a nerve.</p><p>It wasn't his place to comment on their appearance and though the girls were beautiful as always, it didn't take a genius to see that something was off. Veronica sighed, but nodded nonetheless.</p><p>“We are. Ever since my father... well, ever since we're not family anymore Cheryl and I have been staying over here at Pop's.” She confessed, her cheeks blushing slightly.</p><p>Everyone had been a witness of how Veronica had broken the bonds with her dad and currently she was suffering the consequences of that action. There was no way she wanted to live in a house with a man that betrayed her, and he was glad to see her leave. Since Cheryl wasn't welcome to come home ever since she came out it left them with no other option— staying at Pop's.</p><p>“Cheryl, honey... I've told you, you're always welcome at our home.” Alice said worriedly, the concern written all over her face. The last time the girl had stayed over she had assured her that her door was always open and she wondered why they hadn't reached out.</p><p>“We couldn't knock on your door asking for a favor like that, we could be without a home for weeks...” Cheryl averted her gaze away from Alice and frowned sadly.</p><p>She trusted her, but asking a woman that once had been friendly enough to give her shelter to take two girls in her home for God knows how long didn't seem fair. The last thing she wanted was to bug the one adult figure she had in her life.</p><p>“At least stay with us tonight. You need a good night's rest.” Alice proposed, giving the two young women a sweet smile. Veronica wanted to protest, feeling the same way as Cheryl about accepting any help, but FP beat her to it.</p><p>“I have a better idea...” He searched into the pocket of his Serpent jacket and took out a pair of keys that he handed out to her.</p><p>“Here. This is for you.” Veronica reluctantly took the keys, her eyes asking him what he was offering them. </p><p>“It's the key to the cabin. You can stay there for as long as you need.” He smiled at them, feeling like offering them a place to stay was the least he could do for two teenagers in need, but three pairs of eyes looked at him with wide eyes.</p><p>“FP... that's your home.” Veronica sputtered, her heart glowing that he would do something like that for her and her girlfriend, but afraid that she couldn't accept such a big gesture. She wanted to hand the keys back, but FP refused.</p><p>“I don't need it anymore. Take it, please.” He was happy to know that even when he didn't stay there anymore, that the cabin would be for good use. It had been his home for so long, he wanted it for others to be the place to go to in need, just like he had done all those years ago.</p><p>Veronica was left speechless by his offer, no words able to describe how grateful she was to have someone in her life with such a good heart. Instead of thanking him with words, she walked around the counter and wrapped her arms around him. FP was caught off guard, but eventually hugged the girl right back. He never realized that this bond meant so much to her.</p><p>“Thank you, FP.” She mumbled. More than one and a half years ago she couldn't even imagine that the man who never speaks would have been such an important person in her life, the one she would defend, the one who would defend her.</p><p>“I know what it's like not to have a father figure, and this is not the way a dad is supposed to care for his kids. I'm sorry you have to go through that.” FP said quietly, still holding the girl.</p><p>Both of them needed that hug more than they could say out loud. Veronica pulled back and smiled. Part of her was grieving the loss of her father, the person she thought was her hero until he showed his real colors, but she wasn't sad any longer. She knew to cherish what she did have, not what she had lost.</p><p>“We've got you and Alice, don't we? You're going to make amazing parents, one day.” She looked at the couple and gave them a warm smile.</p><p>The last few months, they had been their support more than anyone ever had. She couldn't think of anyone that would be better parents than the two of them.</p><p>**</p><p>FP had spread out their breakfast on different plates, so they could share all that they had ordered. This morning was one of those breakfast in bed moments, together snuggled under the warm sheets in their house on Elm Street.</p><p>He had already finished his first croissant, while Alice's hadn't touched her food yet. He scanned her face, and came to the conclusion that she was thinking about something that kept her from eating.</p><p>“Penny for your thoughts?” He asked her softly, as he put  his own plate aside to give her his full attention.</p><p>Alice snapped out of her trance and looked at her boyfriend, realizing that she had been staring at an invisible spot on the wall for over ten minutes. She set away her still untouched plate and fiddled with her nails.</p><p>“What if we will never become parents? Maybe I can't even be a mother, maybe it's too late—” She started to ramble, all the demons from her mind having a free pass to torture her once more.</p><p>“Hey, where is this coming from? We're going to be parents, Alice. I promise you.” FP took her hands into his own and looked straight into her eyes. He could see the tears gathering, and he wished he could take down all the voices that plagued her once and for all.</p><p>“How can you promise that?” She asked quietly, her voice cracking. So far, they didn't have any luck with their interviews and she was scared to death that it would never happen to them.</p><p>“I know there is someone looking out for us.” FP smiled softly, thinking of his best friend. If he could put Alice in his path, he was certain that he was fighting hard for their dream to have a family to come true.</p><p>“Alice... there is nobody else I'd rather want to be the mother of my children. I love you more than I can explain, but it's not just that. It's how you put everyone else before yourself, how you manage to steal the heart from everyone who crosses your path. One day, we're taking our child home and giving it all they deserve. They will get the most loving mother a kid could wish for.” He had taken her face into his hands and gave her his signature smile, one that made her stomach flutter.</p><p>She felt that this was what a real relationship was supposed to be like. Whenever the voices in her head were getting too strong, he was there to drive them away and if his anxiety was overpowering him she had always been there to calm him down, and she would for the rest of her life.</p><p>“Thank you.” She whispered, a grateful smile on her face. He pressed a sweet kiss on her forehead and wanted to shift to his side of the bed, until Alice stopped him by taking her arm into her hands.</p><p>“Remember what you said to me when you asked me to have a baby together?” She gave him a small smile, his eyes looking curiously at her.</p><p>“You said you'll learn to be a dad when it is our time. Do you see that you're already a father to so many?” Alice's eyes sparked with her faith in him, something he was still so surprised with every time he saw it.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” He asked her softly and a tad confused.</p><p>From the moment he had dreamed to have a family with her he had been scared that maybe he could never be the Dad their child deserves. The only thing that was stronger than his own fear was that every fibre of his being knew that she'd learn him.</p><p>“You and Veronica, this morning. I am pretty sure you're more a father to her than Hiram could ever be.” She placed her hand on his cheek and softly tickled his stubble with her hand. It had been there for a while now and she wondered why he couldn't see that all he did for her and Cheryl was something special.</p><p>“That was nothing. I did what everyone would have done in my situation.” He shrugged a little shyly.</p><p>FP had never been good in seeing that the sacrifices he made were ones that were rooted in a protective kind of love. Alice sometimes thought it were the years of  isolation that had made him even more loving and caring than he already was. He knew what it was like to not have the support you need and therefore he never wanted anyone else to ever feel that way and make the same choices he had made.</p><p>“That's not true, I know that it was hard of you to do what you did.” She told him, her eyes burning right into his soul.</p><p>FP sighed quietly. He wanted to believe her, he really did. He was too scared to take her word. He took her hand that was still on his face into his hands and intertwined their fingers.</p><p>“I'm not sure how to do this... I've never been a father, or a father figure to someone. What if I will screw it up when we have our kid? What if I turn into my own dad?”</p><p>He casted his gaze to the floor, afraid to look into her eyes and see the same fear he was feeling. But Alice was never going to let his demons win. She'd be there to chase them away, no matter how loud they were getting.</p><p>“You're more of a man than your father ever was. You have a big, loving, heart FP. Nobody can ever take that away from you. You'll never hurt anyone.” She told him, her own tears swimming in her eyes as she realized how scared he was of never being good enough.</p><p>FP gave her a soft smile. Slowly, her sweet words were becoming louder than all the voices that were trying to drown him. She would always win and he loved her more for it.</p><p>“I know you don't like it when I say this... but you are my angel, Alice.” His eyes twinkled and the smile he sent her made feel the butterflies all over again.</p><p>“It's okay. You are mine.” She softly kissed his forehead, telling him with one simple gesture that she had him.</p><p>**</p><p>Alice entered their home with a big sigh, her forehead throbbing from her headache. She threw her jacket towards the coat rack, surprisingly not dropping it on the floor. FP followed closely behind a lot calmer than the energy Alice was radiating.</p><p>“Hey, don't worry.” He placed his hands on her shoulders to make her turn around. Tears were swimming in her eyes as she tried her hardest not to cry.</p><p>“How can I not worry? This went terrible.” She took a few steps away and nervously bit on her nails to give herself something to focus her anxiety on.</p><p>“Alice, we only had a few interviews. People are giving up their baby, that isn't a decision they should take lightly.” He took her hand to make her turn around again. He needed to look at her directly, instead of giving her the chance to run away from all that she was spiraling about.</p><p>“What if nobody will ever pick us? What if we're not good enough?” She asked quietly, her voice so vulnerable, as if it was almost breaking.</p><p>FP's eyes twinkled sadly as he snaked his arms around her waist to pull her close. The fear she felt were voices in his head that he had trouble drowning out, but he had faith. He knew it was written in the stars for them to have a family.</p><p>“I don't know. I really don't. This is going to be difficult, and we're going to doubt ourselves a lot of times but we're going to get through this. One day, someone is going to pick us to raise a child.” He said, the hope in his voice making her want to believe it.</p><p>If he didn't believe the way he did, she wasn't sure she would ever get out of the dark place her mind sometimes sent her too. Sometimes she thought that all the shitty cards that she had been handed were a sign that it wasn't meant to be, that it didn't matter how hard she wanted to be a mother. Hearing FP believing in her, believing in them, made her want to hope that they could beat the odds.</p><p>“Why does it feel like a punishment only because I can't have kids myself? Why do I need to suffer more?” She sighed and moved herself out of his hold and sat down on the couch, rubbing her face worriedly.</p><p>Alice wanted to believe more than anything that he was right about it all, about faith, about the stars, about one day it being their time to be the parents she hoped they were meant to be. She felt Suzie turning between her legs, her tail wrapping around her calf as if she was trying to give her some comfort.</p><p>“It's not fair that you have to suffer because of me. Maybe we should look into a surrogate with your sperm and—” She started to ramble, thinking of all the options that wouldn't make FP resent her later for not being able to give him a child of their own, but he wouldn't let her go down this rabbit hole.</p><p>“Hey, stop that. When I told you that I wanted to adopt with you I meant the whole journey. Even the difficult parts. <em>Especially</em> the difficult parts. There is a baby out there waiting for us, Alice. This isn't about me. This is about us.”</p><p>He was so full of confidence, no hint of doubt in his eyes, that she couldn't do anything than to believe that they were in this together. She was trying to look for the slightest change on his face, a twitch of his lips, the shiny gloss of a tear in his eyes, but it wasn't there.</p><p>“I still can't believe you would sacrifice that for me.” Alice croaked out quietly, her throat tightening.</p><p>Ever since those words that Hal had used she had believed that anyone who could get a child of their own wouldn't think twice of really wanting that. She never understood how FP could give that up for her and not have a deeply rooted hatred against hers.</p><p>
  <em>“No Alice, you can't! I can!”</em>
</p><p>It was were it all went wrong for good, and she wondered how FP couldn't feel the same without having a part of him hoping one day that he could get a baby of his own, one that carried his genes.</p><p>“Being a parent is about sacrifice, isn't it?” He said softly, his eyes twinkling with something so pure and genuine that it made a tear escape the corner of her eyes.</p><p>“The agency is going to call, I can feel that.” He promised her, offering her one of his signature warm smiles. She smiled back at him, his confidence making her glow. It made her want to believe in herself, too.</p><p>“Why don't we take a bath together, huh? Unwind a little?” He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her temple.</p><p>“That sounds perfect.” Between work as mayor, Serpent King, bartender, and adoption interviews they needed this moment to be just about the two of them for a bit.</p><p>**</p><p>The following day, FP and Alice had made their way towards the cabin to see how the young couple was doing. They could stay as long as they prefered, but in the end they were still teenagers. They needed some guidance, even if they thought they wouldn't. When FP opened the door of his former home, he smiled at the redheaded girl in the kitchen who was making some tea.</p><p>“Hey, we came to check up on you.” He said sweetly, walking further into the cabin.</p><p>But then he noticed it wasn't just the two of them. There was a familiar face sitting on the old worn out couch, one he hadn't seen for decades. However, she still had the same spark in her eyes and long brown locks. She hadn't changed one single bit.</p><p>“Hermione?” He asked confused, a smirk tugging on his lips.</p><p>The woman turned her head and noticed the man standing by the dinner table. He had a small beard now and his hair had turned darker than she had remembered, but there was no doubt in her mind who he was.</p><p>“FP...” She was a little lost for words.</p><p>Hermione had never expected to ever see him again, not after she had heard that he had isolated himself from the world. For a brief second FP was afraid that she was as scared of him as everyone used to be, as she didn't know any better.</p><p>“It's so good to see you.” Hermione smiled up at him and opened her arms for a hug, one he gladly fell into. It was strange to see someone who used to be close friends after not seeing them for two decades, but he was surprised by how familiar it felt.</p><p>“You two know each other?” Veronica asked them, who had been sitting next to her mother.</p><p>“We were friends in high school. When did you get back out of the Big Apple?” FP explained and turned back to Hermione, his mind spinning with a thousand questions of her life in a bright city like New York.</p><p>“Mary told me what happened with Hiram. I came as soon as I could.” She told him, as she wrapped her arms around her daughter, who immediately smiled.</p><p>If she had known before what kind of manipulations her ex-husband was using on their daughter, she would have come immediately. Veronica had been too proud to admit what had happened, but fortunately Mary had reached out.</p><p>“You're Veronica's mother?” Alice pointed between the two women. She definitely saw the resemblance.</p><p>“I am. Pleasure to meet you.” Hermione stood up and extended her hand towards Alice, who shook it with a kind smile.</p><p>“I'm Alice.” She said politely. FP looked at her with a big grin.</p><p>“My girlfriend.” He proudly took her hand as he showed her off. Alice giggled a little. One and a half years ago she would have never thought they would ever be together like this, without fear, just love.</p><p>“Who would've thought... you're glowing. Fred would have been so happy for you. As am I.” Hermione smiled at the couple.</p><p>Years ago, she had been scared for him, especially when she had seen the downfall after Fred's loss. Part of her still felt the guilt of when she wasn't there for him a friend was supposed to be. Now she saw him this happy in a way she hadn't even seen him in high school and knew that no matter how hard things would get, things always worked out.</p><p>“What are we going to do about Hiram?” Cheryl was the one to finally drop the bombshell that all of them had felt hanging in the air.</p><p>Alice remembered the words he had said to her. They had won the battle, but not the war. She was certain he was planning on something else to ruin what they have. It fell silent. Nobody, not even Hermione who once knew him like the back of her hand had any idea how to outsmart him or predict what his next move was going to be. Or at least, that is what everyone else thought.</p><p>“Nothing.” FP suddenly stated after moments of silence.</p><p>“What?” Alice asked confused, raising her eyebrow at her boyfriend.</p><p>If one person had their reasons to seek revenge, it was him. But why didn't he? FP noticed the four pair of eyes that were looking at him, asking for an explanation.</p><p>“Veronica was right. We have something he doesn't. A family. If we're going to war, people are going to get hurt. As Serpent King I had sworn to protect you. I've brought you into danger once, I'm not letting it happen again.” He said, his mind wandering back to the machines that were ready to destroy his home, the woods.</p><p>If Hiram could have gone through with his plan, teenagers could have gotten hurt. He didn't want to involve them in their war anymore.</p><p>“But what if he strikes again? You don't know my Dad, he won't let us get away with this.” Veronica argued with him, part of her disappointed with the anticlimax of not being able to get justice.</p><p>“If he does, we still do have each other. He won't win.” FP said, looking directly at her.</p><p>Veronica hesitated, but then gave in with a small nod. It had been her own words. She needed to trust that it could be enough.</p><p>“I agree with FP. Let's show your Dad that doing good gets repaid.” Hermione took her daughter's and Cheryl's hands.</p><p>The last thing she wanted was for the two girls who had been through enough trauma to suffer more. Maybe not reacting would be the best reaction.</p><p>“I'm glad you're back, Mom.” Veronica hugged her mother tightly. She wished she would have called sooner, maybe things would have been different.</p><p>“Thank you for letting them use your home.” Hermione looked up at her old friend as her daughter held onto her tightly, a hug she gladly gave into.</p><p>Without his help, she would have found her daughter and her daughter's girlfriend miserable in the back of Pop's on an air mattress. They were safe here, thanks to him.</p><p>“What is going to happen to the cabin after we are gone?” Cheryl asked FP curiously. Eventually, it would be empty again and she wondered if he could really ever say goodbye to it.</p><p>“I was thinking about turning it into a home for the Serpents. So that if someone needs shelter, they can always go here.” FP smiled sweetly.</p><p>This way, it wouldn't be just his home, but the home for anyone who needed a place to hide, to be alone, or to be together. It had been there for him when he had hit rock bottom and he wished for everyone else to have a safe haven like he had all those years.</p><p>**</p><p>Though FP had been the one to propose to do nothing, to take the high road, his own anger had become so strong that he couldn't think straight anymore. He might have had trouble opening up to the people he cares about, but once he let them in he loved with his whole heart. Nobody could ever hurt them and get away with it and he was going to make that clear once and for all.</p><p>He had reached out to Hiram, telling him to meet him outside the cabin. It was a place rarely anybody besides him or Alice came, which made it perfect. He didn't need anybody watching. This was between the two of them.</p><p>Hiram stood there, a smug smile on his face while FP walked his way. Though he had lost, he still seemed to feel like a winner. He wondered why that was, but then realized that maybe he was just narcissistic enough to never admit to his defeat.</p><p>There were a thousand things he wanted to say to him, but words would never do justice to what he really felt. So, he bawled his fist and hit him right on his jaw. It took Hiram by surprise, and as he wiped away the blood spilling from his mouth he managed to swing a punch back.</p><p>But FP was stronger, more determined to hurt him. He took him by his collar and shoved him onto the dirty ground of the forest and grunted when another two punched where deliver to his face.</p><p>His nostrils flared as he looked at Hiram, his cheek already bruising and the blood spilling from the corner of his mouth.</p><p>“One for the stories you told about me. One for trying to hurt Alice. And one for hurting your ex-wife and daughter. Don't ever think about coming near to them again.” He shoved him once more, before standing up, planning to leave and never look back.</p><p>“Is that a threat?” Hiram asked through gritted teeth, as he managed to stand up.</p><p>“No. A warning. I'm not letting you destroy them.” FP turned around sharply and pointed his finger at him.</p><p>“Are you this stupid, FP? I have you right where I want you.” Hiram chuckled devilishly, as if he had just won the fight they had started back in high school.</p><p>FP's frown disappeared, wondering what he meant. He had been the one to ask him to come here, not the other way around. In what world did this work out for Hiram?</p><p>“You think you can still adopt a baby when I sue your ass for assault? With three punches, you just lost your family.” He spatted out, his eyes hurting into FP's. His heart fell as he realizes that Hiram was right. He had sacrificed the one thing that was more important to him than anything else in the world.</p><p>**</p><p>FP had made his way home almost totally paralyzed, the tears in his eyes waiting until they had permission to fall. He would lose everything. Alice, his family, his friends... everything.</p><p>And the frighting thing was; he had to face them all at the same time. Alice had organized a get together, to catch up, to bond. Everyone was there. Mary, Hermione, Veronica, Cheryl, Archie, Sweet Pea, Fangs... and he had to tell them what he had done.</p><p>He opened the front door, his lip quivering. Everyone was chatting away or munching on one of the snacks Alice had made, until they saw FP standing in the opening. All eyes were fixated on him and the living room fell silent.</p><p>“I did something awful.” He said quietly, breaking the silence.</p><p>“Honey, your face... what has happened?” Alice stood up from the couch and immediately walked his way to gently reach for the wound.</p><p>“We can't get a family anymore and it's my fault. I screwed up everything.” He broke down into cries, finally letting his tears free. Adoption was their only way of getting a child and in just a matter of seconds he managed to ruin that. And for what? Something as stupid as revenge.</p><p>“Go sit down and explain us what happened.” Alice said gently, with her heart beating into her chest. She needed to remain calm, though that was hard considering the words he had just spoken.</p><p>FP sat down onto the couch and took a deep breath. He had to be honest, no matter how painful the truth was.</p><p>“I went to see Hiram. We got into a fight, and now he threatens to sue me.” He confessed, wiping away another set of tears.</p><p>“If he does, everything is lost for us." FP looked up to look into Alice's eyes, seeing a kind of pain he wished  he wasn't the cause of. He swore to protect her, to make her happy forever and yet he was the reason she was hurting.</p><p>“I'm so sorry, Alice.” He cried, his own heart breaking as he thought of all that he had sacrificed.</p><p>“Why did you go see Hiram alone?” Mary asked, worriedly. That man was dangerous and always had a double agenda, which was again proved tonight.</p><p>“Because I had to protect all of you the way you have done for me. I had to do something.” He told them, firmly and determined.</p><p>They had always tried to protect him and feeling that he was failing to do the same was killing him. All he wanted was to have control, to be the man his family deserved.</p><p>Before anyone else could say anything, Veronica stood up from the couch to make her way towards the living room. Her eyes were spitting fire. She was ready to take her father down and fight for the right thing.</p><p>“Veronica, where are you going?” Alice asked concerend, while she held FP's hand to tell him in a subtle way that whatever had happened, they would get through it.</p><p>“To talk to my dad. If he listens to someone, it's me.” She said determined. And she wasn't right. After all, he was she was still his daughter. His weak spot. Maybe, she was their only chance of winning.</p><p>“No. You're staying.” Hermione said sternly, making all eyes turn her way.</p><p>“But—” Veronica wanted to protest, but she wasn't going to win it against her mother.</p><p>“No, listen to me,” Hermione had a plan, one of which she believed was FP's only shot to win this war against her ex-husband.</p><p>“Nobody is going to face him alone. We have to be careful.” She knew him like no other, one wrong move, and it'd be really over for Alice and FP.</p><p>“Get him to meet up with you, tomorrow. I have a plan. Mary, Ronnie, I am going to need your help.” She turned to FP first, who's job was it to get him to meet him, while she would prepare everything with Mary, an experienced lawyer and her daughter, who had known him all her life.</p><p>“Hermione, what are you going to do?” FP asked confused, not following why it would be a good idea to see Hiram again, tomorrow.</p><p>“You don't have to worry about anything. All you have to do is rest well. We're not letting him win. That's a promise.” She gave him a warm smile, and for now he knew he had to trust her. He had no other choice.</p><p>**<br/>It had been silent ever since everyone had left. FP was afraid to say anything, scared that it would turn into a fight. He had been reckless and she had all the right to be furious, he believed.</p><p>“Hey, let me clean your face.” She had taken a wipe to take care of the wound, and slowly dapped it onto his cheek.</p><p>“I am not aggressive. I am really not.” FP quietly, his eyes casting towards the floor. If there was one thing he was afraid of, it was that she would look at him differently now.</p><p>“I know that. It's okay.” She told him softly, before taking his hand to press a kiss on his knuckles. Though she had no idea what tomorrow would bring, she knew that what he had done had been with a good heart.</p><p>“I know you will never hurt our child.” She said, soft and kindly. FP smiled gratefully before resting his forehead against hers, still not believing that even after today, she was still the sweetest angel.</p><p>**</p><p>The next day, Hiram had agreed to meet them at the Wyrm exactly like FP had suggested. He assumed it was a for a plead not to press charges for assault and if he was being honest with himself, he was going to enjoy seeing him beg.</p><p>However, when he made his way into the bar he noticed that it wasn't just the two of them. He saw Mary, Archie, Sweet Pea, Fangs, Cheryl, Veronica and of course... Alice.</p><p>“My, my. You brought an audience.” Hiram said mockingly.</p><p>“You all wanted to see me? Be quick, I am going to pay Sheriff Keller a visit in a bit. You know, to show him what you have done to your face.” He gestured to his jaw and locked eyes with FP, who was feeling as if life was being sucked out of him.</p><p>“By the way, how's adopting going for you, FP?” He arched his eye brow sassily, knowing exactly how to push his buttons.</p><p>Alice wanted to storm over there and give him another black eye, but fortunately Mary and Cheryl held her back just in time. They didn't need for him to have another reason to blackmail them.</p><p>“What do you want, Hiram?” FP asked, his voice soft and full of defeat.</p><p>Hermione still wasn't there and since he had no idea what she was planning, he just felt like giving up. Every time they thought they could defeat him, something else changed their plans. It was impossible.</p><p>“You win. I'll give you everything you want.” His eyes were filled with tears, but as for right now, it felt like his only option.</p><p>All eyes turned his way in shock, afraid of what he had just said. The instructions had been clear; wait for Hermione. Stall him for as long as you can. So, that had been the plan. But FP had given up before it had even started.</p><p>“We'll see if these people care about you the same way you care about them.” Hiram crossed his arms and slowly started to smile. He was winning and he loved every second of it.</p><p>“You, FP, will give up your cabin. Alice will resign as mayor. Mary will be my lawyer, Veronica and Cheryl will give up Pop's. And the Serpents? They will give up their beloved bar.” He summed up, asking from everyone to make a huge sacrifice to protect FP and make sure he could still get a family.</p><p>“I don't think you realize that we will do all those things in a heartbeat. But we won't, because you won't win that easily.” Veronica stepped forward as she spoke to her father, who for a second seemed to be caught of guard.</p><p>However, he got himself together real quick when the door opened, revealing Sheriff Keller walking in, followed by Hermione. She was there, she had been on time.</p><p>“Sheriff Keller, just in time. I've got to speak with you for a minute.” Hiram smiled smugly, unaware of how he was about to be defeated for good.</p><p>“You brought my wife? How fun.” He hadn't seen her in over a year, but he wasn't complaining. Ever since she had filed for divorce, things had been very cold between them.</p><p>He expected for her to join the others, but instead she stood right in front of him and handed him over a big envelope. Hiram accepted it hesitatingly.</p><p>“What's this?” He asked confused before opening it up, seeing thousands of pictures and e-mails and screenshots.</p><p>“Twenty years track records of criminal activity. From our honeymoon, up till today. Including this conversation that was recorded by Veronica, proving blackmail.” Hermione turned to her daughter, who smiled victoriously as she held up her phone and pressed stop. They had him right where they wanted him.</p><p>“Mary and I documented everything officially last night, to meet you here today and ask you not to press charges on FP.” She crossed her arms, as she showed him her cards and asked him which one it would be.</p><p>“If you don't, I'll keep the records.” She gestured to the files into his hands, and mentally patted herself on the back when she noticed the panic in his eyes.</p><p>“If you do, you'll go to jail for the rest of your life.” Hermione was convinced that he wouldn't sacrifice that only to win this war against FP.</p><p>“How did you...” He shook his head and scanned through all the pictures. It was unmistakably him.</p><p>“You think I moved to New York while my daughter was here without a reason? I investigated you for a long time, Hiram. Mostly to use it in our divorce, but I think I found another way to make it useful.” She smirked as for the very first time she didn't feel guilty about having all these records on him. She had always kept them, just in case and today it had proved to be worth it.</p><p>“Don't even think about destroying it, you've got the copies.”</p><p>“You win, Gomez.” Hiram sighed in defeat. Though he could fight against her in court, it would be a long trial that would make it impossible for him to come out without a scratch. He hated FP, but not so much to want to take this risk.</p><p>When he finally walked out of the bar, FP felt like he could breathe again. It was all over. For good. They had won. He could still get a family.</p><p>“Thank you.” He hugged Hermione tightly, almost as if he would never let her go again.</p><p>“It's the least I owed you after not being in touch with you for so long.” Hermione said softly, when she pulled back from the hug.</p><p>“Thanks to all of you. You're more of a family I could have ever wished for.” FP looked at all the people who had his back, and realized that with or without a child, he already had a family to love.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>————<br/>"It's never too late to come back to my side<br/>The stars in your eyes shined brighter in Tupelo<br/>And if you're ever tired of bеing known for who you know<br/>You know that you'll always know me,"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. I've Been Waiting For You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Time, curious time<br/>Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs<br/>Were there clues I didn't see?<br/>And isn't it just so pretty to think<br/>All along there was some<br/>Invisible string<br/>Tying you to me?"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alice came home after a long day of work, on her mind nothing more than the desire to take a long bath and watch a movie in bed with her boyfriend. It had been exhausting and since the weekend was still a few days away, she needed this little moment to unwind.</p><p>When she walked into the living room, she opened her mouth to ask FP if he was okay with ordering take-out, but she found him with the landline in his hands, his eyes twinkling with an energy she had never seen before. She stopped in her tracks, her gut telling her that something was about to happen.</p><p>“Yes, I will tell her. Thank you. Thank you so much.” The tears glinstered in his eyes as a smile curled on his lips, one that she had never seen before. Something changed. Something good.</p><p>While she stood there frozen, her heart thumping in her chest as if she knew what was about to come, but afraid to even let that thought into her mind, he lowered the phone from his ear. He knew that his following words would change everything forever.</p><p>“Do you still want to have a baby?” He said softly, smirking through his tears of joy.</p><p>Alice felt a shiver going over her spine, her skin covered in goosebumps. Was this going to be the moment she had always dreamed of? The moment she thought would never happen for her?</p><p>If this would have been anyone else in front of her, she would have doubted the sincerity of their words, but this was FP. The man who would offer her the whole universe if he could, the man that she trusted more than she did herself.</p><p>“Do you mean...?” She managed to get out, her hand reaching for her heart as if that could help her get the control she was losing of all that was rushing through her body.</p><p>“Yes... she picked us, Alice. We're becoming parents.” FP beamed, a happy chuckle of disbelief leaving his mouth.</p><p>He was still trying to process the words of the agency, telling him that there was someone out there who trusted them to raise their baby. All their fears and insecurities had faded away. It had been written in the stars.</p><p>“You're not joking, are you?” Alice walked his way, her voice cracking as her hands landed on his chest.</p><p>After doubting herself, unsure if she would ever get the chance to become a mother, hearing the very words FP just told her felt like a revelation that couldn't be true. It was only because the one telling her would always tell her the truth that she dared to believe.</p><p>“It's real. It happened. You're becoming a mother.” He pulled her close with the most delighted smile on his face that she had ever seen on anybody. This wasn't just her dreaming coming true, she could see that one of his wishes had been fulfilled too.</p><p>“And you're becoming a father...” She cupped his cheeks, giving him the warmest smile she had to offer him. If it was meant to happen, she was glad he was there at her side, knowing that he was going to be the best father a child could wish for.</p><p>“But I don't understand, the meeting... she seemed so distant. I thought she didn't like us.” Alice shook her head confused, playing the events of that afternoon all over in her head.</p><p>
  <em>Alice felt her hands getting sweaty as she sat across from a young teenage girl, her baby bump just slowing slightly. She had dark hair with little curls that were tied together in a ponytail. Her name was Rose, an eighteen year old who was about to head off to Yale next year. Alice noticed that she looked awfully calm for a girl who was about to interview people that she could consider giving her baby too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She felt FP taking her hand, his warmth spreading through her body almost instantly. The woman next to her was the one who represented her from the agency. She was there to take notes, but it made Alice nervous nonetheless. They  had been having several interviews, but this one felt different.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“So, tell me. What are your partners' worst qualities?” The young girl cut straight to the chase.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>FP looked at Alice, his eye brow furrowed in concern. They were prepared, but not like this. Why would anyone want to know all the reasons that they might not be cut out to be parents?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Wait, what?” He stuttered a little confused, looking at the girl with the dark curls.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don't you want to know what motivates us to become parents? Or how we would raise our child?” FP asked her, trying to turn the conversation around to all he and Alice had talked about, something they were completely sure they could share with her and feel satisfied about the interview after.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, your worst qualities.” Rose repeated once more, not even twitching by FP's question.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The couple shared another look, both of them filled with anxiety. Truth was, they were very aware of their weak points and how those were deeply rooted inside of them. Some of them even have qualities that could be dangerous for parents to be, if not being monitored.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They worked hard to get better, with professional help even, but there were times where they were afraid that just wouldn't be enough. However, Alice gave FP a slight nod. She didn't want to lie, not to someone who was giving her baby up. He gave her a soft nod back. It was time to be honest. He squeezed her hand a little tighter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“If you want an honest answer... we've been through a lot. Apart and together. I know that for Alice that has led to her carrying a lot of guilt with her. She blames herself for some very painful things. I wish she wouldn't hate herself so much for all the things that happened to her that were out of her control.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>FP looked at Alice, whose eyes were glossing over. Not with tears of sadness, but because once again, he saw right through her. She knew that this time there was no running away anymore. Not ever again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Alice? What about FP?” Rose turned to look straight into Alice's eyes and she was afraid that she could look straight into her soul. Maybe that was exactly what she needed to open up. Her soul. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“He tends to run away from all that scares him or makes him feel anything that is new to him. Sometimes, that is hard to deal with. I don't always know how to help him. But no matter if it's me spiraling down in self destruction or if it's him shutting out the world, we're there for each other through it all.” She gave him a warm smile. In moments like she knew that there was nobody else that knew him the way she did.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We're not perfect and we're still learning, but the love we have to offer is genuine. We would do as much for our child as we would do for each other.” FP added, his eyes filled with a confidence that was rare to see for someone who carried so many insecurities with him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I know enough. Thank you.” Rose's face stayed straight, no change in her eyes or even the smallest twitch of her facial expression.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Little did they know in that very moment, the young girl had made the decision to pick the couple, even when Alice and FP had gotten the idea that she had anything but liked them.</em>
</p><p>“Turns out, she does.” FP beamed to Alice, pulling her as close as he could to her chest.</p><p>Alice smiled and breathed in his comforting scent, realizing that in a few months, it wouldn't be just the two of them anymore. They were starting a family. His eye fell on Fred's picture on the fireplace, his smile making him glow.</p><p>“Thank you, buddy.” He whispered quietly, his eyes glued on his best friend. If one person he had tried his hardest to make it possible for them to become parents, he was sure it had been Fred.</p><p>**</p><p>FP had brought Alice a glass of water as she hadn't been able to eat all day. This morning, they were called into the hospital. Their son was being born today. After half a year of adoption interviews they had found someone who had picked them to take care of their baby.</p><p>She remembered coming home and seeing FP hang up the phone after he had just heard the news. Hearing him tell her that they were becoming parents, that someone had chosen them, had been the most wonderful news she had ever gotten.</p><p>This morning, the agency had called that Rose, the girl that had chosen them, was into labour. She was an eighteen year old girl in her senior year of high school, in a town just out of state. They had rushed into the hospital immediately and had waited in the waiting room ever since. Barely an hour had passed, but Alice felt as if she had been there for ages.</p><p>She gratefully accepted the water FP had brought her, but she couldn't take the nerves any longer. Carefully, she opened the door of the hospital room where her child would be born today and locked eyes with Rose, who was lying surprisingly comfortable in the hospital bed. She smiled kindly when she noticed Alice on the threshold.</p><p>“Are you scared?” Alice sat down next to her in a chair close to the bed, her eyes twinkling with nerves.</p><p>Rose pushed herself up a little and gave Alice a comforting smile. She was convinced that the woman next to her was way more scared than she was. If she was being honest, she had never felt this peaceful before.</p><p>“No. You know why? I know that he is going to two people who will love him unconditionally.” She took Alice's hand in her own and gave it a soft squeeze. Alice gave her a grateful smile in return. Her faith in them meant a lot.</p><p>“Why did you pick us, Rose? Out of all those people?”</p><p>Alice had never dared to ask this very question, as in their first meeting, she had barely asked them anything. She thought it was a sign that she didn't want her and FP to adopt her kid, but she had done the exact opposite.</p><p>“I've seen a lot of couples, Alice. All of them showed me their picture perfect life. You and FP were the only ones completely honest with me. I knew I could trust you.” She said softly, something twinkling in her eyes that was rare to see for a teenager. Alice admired her for being so sure about her decision, something she found hard to grasp at such a young age.</p><p>“But it wasn't just that. I've watched you, before we met. You were in the waiting room when I went to get some water. If I would ever find someone who looks at me the way you do at each other, even for just one second, I'd be the luckiest girl in the world. I looked at something real. That is what I wanted.” She told her, a sweet smile curling on her lips.</p><p>Rose had never been searching for the richest people, or for a family that wanted to prove how perfect their life was. She may be young, but she knew that couldn't be real. And if there was one thing she didn't want, was to hand someone a child and to not be sure in what kind of family they would end up. With FP and Alice? They had been honest with her, from the very start. Unlike all the other couples she had met, they had dared to be vulnerable.</p><p>“And you're still sure?” Alice swallowed, afraid for the answer.</p><p>“You are afraid I am going to change my mind, aren't you?” Rose raised her eye-brows.</p><p>“They say seeing your baby for the first time will change everything.” She said quietly, the nerves in her voice taking over. After what had happened with Hal, a part of her was still afraid that the happy bubble she was in would burst any second.</p><p>“Alice... I don't want to be a mother. I am not ready and the truth is, I don't want to be ready. Not now, not ever.” She told her, showing a part of her that she had hidden for the people close to her.</p><p>Rose was fully aware that society expected for every woman to want kids, to have that as their biggest dreams. But for her? She had other plans. And no matter how many people would tell her that she would change her mind, she was certain that being a mother wasn't something she desired.</p><p>“But I didn't want someone else to suffer from my choices either. When I found out I was pregnant, I made a vow to myself that I'd do anything to give this child the home they deserve. That's not with a mother who will make their own dreams a priority. Being a parent means that you should be willing to sacrifice.”</p><p>She smiled a little at Alice, who teared up hearing those words from a very wise young woman. It reminded her of the words FP had used, when asking her to become the mother of his child.</p><p>“But I am not, Alice. My only sacrifice was to give this little boy a place to grow, but it's all I can give him. You can give him so much more, I know that. I want him to know that even if I chose not to make this sacrifice myself, that I made sure that he would be in the safest hands there are. Your hands.” Rose assured Alice, squeezing her hand once more.</p><p>She had never said it out loud, not even when she had invited them to the sonograms of their baby, but she did really admire Alice. And as she looked at her, she saw a woman that was supposed to be a mother. There were times where she believed that maybe it was meant to be like this.</p><p>“Yale is my dream. Raising a child is yours. Does that make me selfish?” It was her biggest insecurity, something that her own family had tried to make her believe.</p><p>They told her that nobody should ever give their own child away to someone else, let alone preventing it from ever being born. But Rose was stronger than that. She made her own choice, one she fully supported once she had chosen FP and Alice to become parents of this baby.</p><p>“No, Rose. That makes you one of the strongest young women I've ever seen.” Alice brought their hand hold to her lips and gave it a soft kiss.</p><p>She knew that since it was the last time they would ever see each other, she needed for the girl to know that what she had done had been something not many women could. For that, Alice was really proud of her.</p><p>“Thank you, Alice. That means a lot. Really. I haven't had a lot of people in my corner, lately.” She grinned and rested against the soft pillow of her hospital bed.</p><p>“I was once pregnant, with a baby girl.” Alice confessed quietly, her eyes shimmering.</p><p>“You were?” Rose arched her eyebrow confused. All she knew was that Alice was infertile and it made her wonder what had happened.</p><p>“Alice, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. You don't owe me this story because I am about to give you a baby. It's okay.” She said sweetly, when she saw that Alice struggled telling her.</p><p>“I was six months pregnant when I lost her. Her name was Lily.” Alice gave her a sad smile.</p><p>“That is beautiful name.”</p><p>“I might not be the right flower, but I am still a Rose. And this Rose can't wait for you to be a mom.” She gave her a warm and loving smile.</p><p>Her hand came to rest on her baby bump. Almost as if the touch had awakened something, Rose started to winch in pain.</p><p>“Are you okay?” She asked immediately and stood up to look for a doctor if she had to.</p><p>“It seems like your son is ready to meet you.” Rose smiled through her contractions. She couldn't wait for Alice and FP to become parents.</p><p>**</p><p>Alice was tapping nervously with her foot on the floor, a sign of anxiety that FP quickly picked up on. He placed his hand on her thigh, a soft gesture that made her realize that her leg was out of control.</p><p>“Are you nervous?” He asked her, his voice sweet. She nodded and swallowed away the nerves in her body for as much as she could.</p><p>“Take my hand.” FP intertwined their fingers and held on tightly.</p><p>They were in this together, from the very first moment till the very end. Alice looked at her boyfriend and gave him a warm smile. He was always there to ground her when she needed it, one of the million things she loved so much about him.</p><p>“Ms. Smith and Mr. Jones?” A doctor came out of Rose's room, followed with a nurse close after her with a baby wrapped in a soft white blanket.</p><p>“Your baby boy is ready to meet you.” She gave the couple a warm smile and gestured to them to come close. Alice looked at FP, but this time without panic in her eyes. She was ready, she knew she was meant to be a mother.</p><p>Carefully, the nurse handed over the little boy into Alice's arms, where he quickly settled comfortably.</p><p>“Hey little guy,” Alice cooed sweetly, her eyes filling with tears. She was carrying her son, her baby, the one she would vow to protect for the rest of her life. He was a mircale.</p><p>“He's so tiny.” She chuckled through her tears.</p><p>FP stood behind her with a few tears of joy falling down his cheeks and couldn't stop staring at the beautiful baby boy in the arms of the mother of his child.</p><p>“Look at his eyes. They are so bright.” FP whispered quietly and softly reached with his hands to let his index finger stroke the soft cheeks of the baby. As if he noticed that his father was there, he reached for his finger to clamp his tiny hand around it.</p><p>“We're parents, Alice.” He said quietly, one arm around her waist and the other one close to their son, who held onto tightly as if he was trying to show them the same kind of love and affection he was receiving from his mother and father.</p><p>“We really are.” Alice whispered as she stared at her son, his bright blue eyes staring right back at her.</p><p>“I love you.” FP said sweetly, and turned a little so he could give her a loving kiss on her lips, one she melted into with a happy and content smile on her face.</p><p>“And I love you so much already little guy.” FP said cutely, as he looked at his son again and pressed the faintest of kisses on the delicate skin of his forehead.</p><p>“Welcome to the world, Frederick Smith-Jones. You're going to be loved by so many.” Alice whispered happily as she felt like the luckiest woman on earth, with the love of her life holding her close and her baby boy in her arms.</p><p>Her dream had come true. She was a mother. She finally was a mother. And FP? He held the woman who had learned him to love close to his body as he looked at the son he would protect up until his last breath and realized that the torture he though that love was, had turned into the most beautiful feeling in the world.</p><p>**</p><p>The ride home felt like a daydream to the new parents. They exchanged looks, asking one another if this was really happening or that one second later they would wake up in each other's arms, without their kid. But as they drove through Riverdale, Fredrick's hometown, the place he would grow up, they realized that the family they had fought where was really there. FP was a father and Alice was a mother. Their lives would never be the same again.</p><p>Alice had held Fredrick tightly into her arms the whole ride, refusing to let go off him, not even for a second. Like a true gentleman, FP opened the car door for Alice and helped her get out, her eyes still glued to their son. They shared a grateful, loving smile before they made their way to the front door.</p><p>“Look, buddy! This is your home.” FP whispered sweetly, as he opened the bright red door that gave them access to their house.</p><p>And though he expected to be alone, the whole living room was filled with their family. When FP had texted Mary that today was the day, she had gathered everyone to welcome the new parents. The house was filled with laughing smiles, all too excited to meet the little one.</p><p>“What are you all doing here?” FP asked confused, a beaming smile curling on his lips.</p><p>“We wanted to wish you and your son a warm welcome home.” Mary told him, as she got up to greet her best friends. This was simply a moment they couldn't miss.</p><p>“Here he is. Isn't he beautiful?” Alice smiled brightly and turned her son towards the guests in the living room, who all admired him in silence. He was indeed a beautiful baby boy and all eyes glued onto the little guy who had no idea how special the start of his life was.</p><p>“What's his name?” Cheryl asked, her curiousity winning it.</p><p>Before FP and Alice had arrived home, they had tried to guess what the name of their son would be, bu nobody came up with anything that they did feel really confident about.</p><p>“Frederick. We named him after Fred.” FP said proudly, his eyes glossing over by the mention of his best friend.</p><p>“I hope that's okay.” He turned to Mary, to check with her if she didn't have any objections of him being named after her soulmate.</p><p>“It's wonderful. He would have loved that so much.” She chocked up and stroke the little boy's head, who started to grab her finger. It almost made her feel like Fred was right there.</p><p>“Since you're here... we would like to ask you something...” Alice knowingly looked at FP, who gave her an encouraging nod.</p><p>“Would you be his Godmother?” She asked, her voice hopeful. There wasn't anybody else in the world that she trusted more than Mary to take care of their son, if something would happen to them.</p><p>“Me? Are you sure?” Mary placed her hands over her heart and smiled through the tears of joy. Never in her life had she gotten such an honor.</p><p>“More than sure.” FP assured her. For decades, she had been the one he could count on and he wanted nothing more than for Fredrick to have someone in his life like Mary.</p><p>“Should we cut the cake? Cheryl and Veronica have been in the kitchen all day to bake.” Archie proposed, after swallowing his tears away when he heard that the new addition to their big happy family was named after his father.</p><p>The two girls were passing everyone a piece of cake when FP looked around the room and suddenly chocked up. He had Fredrick tightly wrapped in his arms to make sure he was sound and secure (so Alice could eat) and the last twenty years flashed in front of his eyes.</p><p>From the second he had lost his best mate, he had isolated himself, shut out the world and been on his own. And though he had always said he liked it that way, nothing was further from the truth now he was holding his son. This had always been his destiny.</p><p>“Hey, what is going on?” Alice set her plate with her piece of cake aside and placed her hand on his cheek when she saw that he was about to cry.</p><p>“I'm just so... happy.”</p><p>FP chuckled a little through his emotions, as he realized that the pain he once thought was suffocating him was slowly being washed away by this intense feeling of happiness. He never thought he'd be able to feel something as unique as this.</p><p>“I've been my myself for eighteen years and now... I have a family.” He looked around the room, to tell all of them with one look that they all meant more to him than he could possibly express.</p><p>“I could have never dared to dream to have so many people around me that I care about so deeply.”</p><p>Everyone paused with eating to listen to FP's words and counted themselves lucky to be able to witness this special moment. They all felt it too. They were a family. In a very strange, but also very natural way.</p><p>“...And Freddie doesn't just have us, he has the most wonderful family a child could wish for.” He lovingly gazed down towards his son, his heart exploding with pure love as he looked at the innocence in his arms.</p><p>“Thank you. Thank you for being my family and becoming the mother to our son.” FP looked straight at Alice, his eyes shimmering as he smiled at her.</p><p>“Thank you, for giving me our child.” Alice took his face into her hands and kissed him softly, their lips molding together like they were meant to do nothing else.</p><p>“I love you.” She whispered at him, their noses brushes along one another as they had always done.</p><p>“I love you more.” He promised her, his eyes closed as he let himself believe that the daydream he believed he was stuck in, was truly his reality.</p><p>A future, with the love of his life, their son and their family. Every single thing they had ever wished for. And it was all for them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"As if you were a mythical thing<br/>Like you were a trophy or a champion ring<br/>But there was one prize I'd cheat to win."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. The Man With The Long Speech</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"A string that pulled me<br/>Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar<br/>Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire<br/>Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons<br/>One single thread of gold tied me to you."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A year full of rollercoasters, first steps, anxiety, love, more anxiety and more love had passed by. Raising Fredrick together was the most wonderful thing the happy couple had done so far and they couldn't be prouder of where they were today. Sometimes it felt as if they were still there at the side of the road on Alice's first day in town, but two and a half years had passed ever since the first time they had looked at each other.</p><p>Their lives had so majestically changed. FP had learned how to open up to the world and accept the love she was willing to give him, a gift that he didn't take for granted, not for a day. And tough their relationship couldn't be broken by anything, every single day he proved her how much he adored her.</p><p>Alice had learned to face her pain, to embrace all the skeletons in her closet, before they would lock her inside with them. She became the town's most beloved mayor and finally had the family she had always wished for. Life wasn't dark anymore. Life was bright, full of love, full of happiness and dreams.</p><p>That morning, FP had woken up in the cabin with rays of sunshine shining on his eyes. He had let Alice sleep for a little longer, while he took Fredrick out of his crib to make their way to the living room.</p><p>Today, they were going to celebrate his first birthday and he had insisted on throwing the party in the cabin. It had been way too long since he had last slept there, so last night had been a nice trip down to memory lane. It was still part of his home and he wanted for his son to grow up with memories of this place.</p><p>After feeding him, FP had put down a piece of paper and handed him over a few coloring pencils, so he could have something to entertain himself with until his mother would wake up. He clasped it into his tiny hand and randomly doodled on the white piece of paper, making his father look at him proudly.</p><p>“Look at you, my talented little man. You're so good at this.” He encouraged him sweetly, as he held him tighter in his hold.</p><p>“You're going to be artist, just like me.” He grinned as he saw Fredrick reach for another pencil, which he helped him grab. FP let him draw for a little while, before pressing a kiss on top of his head and lifted him up.</p><p>At his feet, he felt their black furred kitten against his legs, trying her hardest to get some attention too. Every single day he was grateful for having rescued her. He was sure she was his bringer of good luck.</p><p>“Hey Suzie, I haven't forgotten you sweetheart. You want some cuddles too?” He sweetly tickled her head and smiled as she jumped on the table, to rest there.</p><p>FP put Fredrick tightly on his hip as he stood up and turned to the couch, where above he had hung some of the work he had made a while ago. After some more encouragement from Hilda, the sweet woman on the Greendale Fair who made him something every year, he had been successfully selling some more paintings. However, some of those were just too precious. He kept those for himself, as his own treasure.</p><p>“Look, you see my work?” FP gestured to the small wooden wall and smiled to himself when he saw his son looking at it with big curious eyes.</p><p>“That's you, the first week after you were born.” He pointed with his finger to the painting of Alice holding him, which had become one of his favorites.</p><p>There was something really special about painting his family. It was the one thing he believed he would never get the chance to, but the proof that the universe had its mysterious ways hung up there.</p><p>“Now you're one already. Can you put one finger up?” He questioned in a sweet voice, as he tried to show him with his own hand how to put up his own finger.</p><p>Fredrick mimicked his gesture and loosely showed him his index finger, as his mind drifted off to something else already.</p><p>“You're growing up so fast.” FP smiled proudly and kissed his cheek, before sitting down at the small wooden dinner table again. He handed him a toy to play with, which he immediately seemed to be hypnotized by.</p><p>A few minutes later, Alice came walking out of the bedroom dressed in one of his shirts, some sweatpants and a soft pink robe that she had brought with her for this night.</p><p>“Hey you, I made you breakfast.” FP smiled up at her as she leaned against the kitchen, taking a moment to admire the adorable sight of her man holding their son.</p><p>“Oh, and a fruit salad for you to take with you to work.” He gestured for the Tupperware box on the table.</p><p>Almost all of it came from the garden, which he still treated with love and patience. Creating his own fruit and vegetables was still something that made him feel good. Adding to that, he loved to take good care of Alice.</p><p>“Thank you, you are the sweetest.” She smiled as she walked over to him and pecked a loving kiss on his lips.</p><p>“You want to hold Freddie? I will make some coffee for you.” FP stood up from his chair with Fredrick on his hip and arched his eyebrow as he looked at her.</p><p>“Honey, I can do that too, it's alright.” She swiftly stroke his cheek and offered him a warm smile. Of course she loved to be pampered by him, but she wouldn't mind making her own coffee.</p><p>However, FP was too invested in smothering her this morning, especially when the day they would have ahead of them would ask all of their energy. The only thing was, Alice was blissfully unaware of what he had planned for today and how the nerves were eating him alive.</p><p>“You have a long day of work ahead, let me do this one little thing for you. Go relax on the couch for as long as you can.” He kissed her cheeks and handed over Fredrick, which she accepted with a grin.</p><p>She took place on the couch and snuggled up close to their son. He giggled brightly when she smothered his face in kisses. They were truly two peas in a pod. She would do anything for him and the boy had been attached to her since day one.</p><p>“Here you go, a cup of coffee made with love.” FP had turned around from the kitchen to make his way towards the couch and sat down next to her. She smiled slightly when he handed her the mug and he immediately sensed that something was off.</p><p>“Alice? Is everything alright?” He asked her, worriedly. His brown eyes tried to look for her blue ones, but she avoided looking straight at him.</p><p>“Hey, what is it?” FP scooted over closer and reached with his hand for her hair, to make sure the soft motion of his hands would make her feel a little better.</p><p>She looked up him, confused, scared and even a little bit hopeful. There was something she wanted to talk to him about, but she was afraid that the things she wanted, he didn't want to. Alice wasn't sure she was ready for that bubble to be burst.</p><p>“Did I say something to upset you?” He asked her, when she stayed silent. She could read the insecurity in his eyes and immediately felt guilty that even for a second, he believed that he was the reason she was acting different.</p><p>“No, you didn't do anything. I love you for being so sweet.” She told him instantly, and reached with her free hand for his cheek, to gently stroke his stubble. He breathed out in relief, but it didn't take away the worry he had about her.</p><p>“Can you please tell me what is bothering you? I know that look. I don't want you to go to work upset.” He took her hand into his own and kissed her knuckles and reminded her of how they has promised each other to share their worries and fears with one another, even if that was a difficult thing to do.</p><p>Alice sighed quietly and looked down at the son that was still sitting in her lap, and her eyes filled with tears. He was still deeply concentrated on the toy FP had given him, and every single second she would swear she started to love him more and more.</p><p>“Remember last week, when I had to go to the bake sale at the orphanage? The Sisters of Quiet Mercy?” She looked up at FP again while holding Fredrick as tightly as she could.</p><p>“Yeah, you told me about that. Didn't they break their sales record?” He asked her, as he recalled the story that she had told about the place at dinner not long ago.</p><p>“They did, but...” Alice wasn't sure how to finish her sentence. She had so many thoughts and felt totally empty at the same time.</p><p>“But what?” He asked her, softly. As always, he was giving her the time to find the right words, to be ready to tell him what was on her mind. Alice took a breath, and shared how she had honestly felt about that day.</p><p>“The faces of those children... I haven't been able to sleep all week, every time I close my eyes and see a kid in need for a family.” She confessed as she looked down at her son, the one they had the privilege to raise.</p><p>Every single day she counted him as one of her blessings and it made her wonder if there were more kids out there that they could mean the same thing for.</p><p>“It made me think...” She looked up at FP again, who's eyes were still so soft and patient.</p><p>Alice knew that she could ask him, and he is an incredible father. She didn't have much reason to be afraid, but still there was a voice in her head that told her it was a bad idea.</p><p>“What is it?” He took her hand in his again and softly stroke his thumb over her knuckles. He could sense that she was about to ask him something special, but he was giving her the time to come to terms with it.</p><p>Alice was very sure that FP was her soulmate. Even without all the signs of the universe she was convinced that he was the one she was meant to be with.</p><p>She was the town's mayor, a public person who knew her way with words. He was an artist, a gardener, a bartender and leader of a gang who had trouble expressing himself. Opposites at first sight, but the same by heart. They wanted to make the world a better, more beautiful place, to bring back the color that they had missed. Making their family grow has to be part of that mission.</p><p>“Since we're doing so well with Fredrick, maybe we could think about adopting another kid.” She gave him a soft smile as she dropped the question that been wandering in her mind.</p><p>But then FP stayed silent, he only looked back at her with his big brown eyes that she suddenly misread for rejection.</p><p>“Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. I am probably just emotional and tired, I'll go change for work.” Alice wanted to hand Fredrick over to him, but he quickly held her back, by gently grabbing her arm.</p><p>Those sings she had thought she read weren't of rejection. No, he was in pure amazement that she wanted an even bigger family with him.</p><p>“Hey... that is a beautiful thought, Alice.” He told her softly, his eyes twinkling with hope and excitement.</p><p>“It is?” She asked insecure, afraid that he hadn't thought it through enough and that her dream of raising another kid with him would be burst by reality.</p><p>“Yeah... I never thought about it before, but the past year with you and Freddie has been the best one of my life. I'd be more than happy to expand our family. Giving a kid a home is the most beautiful thing there is.” FP gazed down to their son and smiled to himself.</p><p>He was his pride and joy. Every where he went, he showed off their beautiful, special, little family. Adopting a baby had been such a special experience and now Alice had asked him, he didn't doubt for a second that he wanted to feel that way again.</p><p>“It's been the best year of my life, too.” Alice said sweetly, feeling heart glow by the way he was so open to her suggestion. It made her feel more secure now she knew that he wanted for their family to be bigger, too.</p><p>“You would really be okay adopting another kid? Even when they aren't a baby anymore? Some of them are in school already, it's going to be different than it was with Frederick. Would you be ready for that?” She asked him, to make him aware that even though every day with their son had felt magical, things would be different if they would adopt that wasn't a baby, or a toddler anymore.</p><p>There were so many options now and they needed to be prepared for every single scenario. She didn't want for him to agree to something that he hadn't thought through. Building trust would be a challenge and though she was ready to accept that, the journey would be completely unexpected.</p><p>“Any kid deserves a good childhood, Alice. It doesn't matter what age, I am sure we can give another kid a loving home. That would be wonderful.” He gave her a warm and loving smile and already dreamed of the day when they would bring another kid home, to give it the love, devotion and adoration they had missed.</p><p>“Before you know it we're outnumbered.” Alice joked sweetly, as she held on more tightly to Fredrick. He might be the first one, but he definitely wouldn't be the last.</p><p>“We'll have our very own Brady Bunch.” FP grinned and leant in to brush a soft kiss to her lips.</p><p>When they pulled back, Alice had tears swimming in her eyes, as their conversation fully kicked in. Another child. Another addition to their family. He wanted to raise another beautiful soul with her. It was all happening.</p><p>“Hey, are you okay?” He asked her, his voice soft.</p><p>“Yes, I am... sorry, I get emotional every time we talk about our family. Thinking about more love in our houses makes me so happy.” She chuckled through her tears and wiped them away with the sleeve of her bathrobe.</p><p>“I think none of us would have thought we'd ever be here one day.” He held her close and nuzzled his nose in his hair, before kissing first her cheek and then Fredrick's.</p><p>“Look at our little man... he's one year old today. Sometimes I wake up at night and be overwhelmed with how hard we had to fight to end up here. The happy ending, to our fairytale.” He smiled happily and reminded himself how incredibly lucky he was to have them, to love them and to be loved by them.</p><p>“I love you. Thank you for loving me.” Alice whispered, her eyes gleaming with the love for her soulmate.</p><p>“No, Alice. Thank <em>you</em>, for loving <em>me</em>.” He brushed his lips against hers and smiled.</p><p>“So, we're going to adopt another child?” She smiled from ear to ear as she thought about someone else joining their life.</p><p>“We are. I can't wait for our family to grow.” He hugged Alice and Fredrick close and counted himself the luckiest man alive.</p><p>**</p><p>It was already dark at night when Alice drove towards the woods. The moonlight shone on the roads, giving her an extra source of light. It had been raining that afternoon and she could smell the signature scent of the trees. For a long time it had felt unfamiliar but now the woods felt like home.</p><p>While she had been working all day, FP had taken on the responsibility to organize their son's birthday. Though he wouldn't remember any of it, it was a milestone they wanted to celebrate anyway. He took charge of getting a cake, decorating and invited their closest friends.</p><p>She was looking forward being all together again, to celebrate a very important year in their lives. Cheryl, Veronica and Archie who had moved away to go to college, had especially returned out of New York for the weekend. Alice had told Cheryl on the phone that it was nonsense and that they would see each other at the holidays, but she had insisted they would come.</p><p>She was almost at the hill leading up to the cabin and parked her car at the side of the road. When she stepped outside, she noticed something was different. A beautiful sight that looked like sky full of stars was set down in candles at the side of the road. Was this the decoration FP had thought of for the birthday? Had he really gone all out up to the point he even decorated the woods? She wondered if that wasn't dangerous.</p><p>But then she saw the people on the small hill. One by one, they appeared from behind a tree. Mary with Fredrick on her hip, Archie, Cheryl, Veronica, Hermione, Sweet Pea and Fangs. They all stepped into sight with a candle in their hands, the light creating a path to the old wooden cabin. They all had knowing smiles on their faces, which only grew stronger when they saw how confused Alice looked.</p><p>“What is going on here?” She asked, totally overwhelmed of all the things she saw that she couldn't understand.</p><p>Things would clear up for her soon, as the father of her child, the love of her life, her soulmate, came walking down the path of light created by their friends. He looked calm, confident and the moonlight in his eyes made her fall in love all over again. He was beautiful.</p><p>Everything was said with the look the two shared, the unspoken language between them growing stronger each day. And though it was more than enough, FP was going to say it to her in words. She deserved that.</p><p>“We met right here, on this very spot.” He stood right in front of her and gazed down to the ground, which brought back the memory of Alice's first night in town.</p><p>“Your tire flattened, something someone up there with the stars might have had control over.” FP grinned a little, as did Mary, who too was convinced that Fred was up there looking out for them. Sending Alice to Riverdale had been his way to take care of FP.</p><p>“I do believe you were put in my path, Alice. Because of you, I do believe in faith.” He said softly, and smiled at her. For a second, he wondered how things had always seemed so complicated, when loving Alice was the easiest thing he ever had to do.</p><p>“But not all of it is written in the stars.” He continued, his face turning serious. His belief in something bigger than themselves having control over their lives could be comforting, but he had seen with his own eyes how much impact their own actions had.</p><p>“We have power over our own stories, too.” He said lovingly. Though Fred might have been the one to flatten her tire, he believed that falling in love with her, and her falling in love with him had been their own doing.</p><p>“You proved that, when you kept on writing me, even after I tried to push you away. You were that power.”</p><p>“And you are still my strength.” FP gave her a sweet smile as he saw that she teared up. He had trouble keeping his own emotions at bay, but for her he managed to keep control.</p><p>Alice knew where his speech was heading to, and though she wanted to hear that question more than anything, she could listen to hear him talk about their special journey forever. FP reached for the inside of his jacket and took the tiny book that he had in there. He handed it over to her, and she looked up at him in surprise.</p><p>“This is a book with all the notes we ever wrote to one another. It's a reminder of how it all started and how far we've come together.”</p><p>She opened the book and looked at every single exchange they had made and felt the connection that had been made between them even before his motorbike accident. He might not have spoken to her, there still had been a spark between them that had led to the moment right here.</p><p>“I didn't speak a word, when we first met, but you saw something special in me. Something worth fighting for. Nobody had ever seen that, but you did, because you saw something familiar.”</p><p>Alice swallowed when be mentioned the familiarity between them, which was all based on their painful grief. They had understood each other, they were each other's mirror and rock and it had connected them forever.</p><p>“We've both been through more pain and grief than we would like to remember, but that pain is what made our love.” He took her hand into his own and squeezed it.</p><p>Before he would go on, he took a moment to look at her. Her beautiful blonde hair, her shining white teeth, the small little freckles around her nose and the way her ocean blue eyes shimmered in the moonlight... sometimes it was hard to fully believe that he was the one she was willing to give her heart to.</p><p>“And the tears we wiped off each other's cheeks are now turned into tears of joy, as every single day with you is happiest day of my life.” FP's voice cracked as he looked straight into his eyes and saw that the way he felt about her, was the exact same way she felt about him.</p><p>“Now, we have a life neither of us ever dared to dream about with a son and a loving family.” He looked towards the hill, where everyone was still looking at them next to a tree, with the candles in their hands. Their were family too.</p><p>“You and Freddie are everything to me and I can't wait to adopt another child with you and let the love we have to give grow stronger.” He gave her a smile, which she happily returned. Every single word made her love him even more.</p><p>He reached for the pocket of his jeans and took out a small box, which he carefully opened. FP turned it around and showed it to her; it blinked even more in the pure light of the moon. He took a step closer and took her hand, preparing himself for the big question.</p><p>“With this book and this ring, I want to ask you something that has been on my mind for a long time.” One more breath, and there it was;</p><p>“Will you share the rest of your life with me?” He asked her, as his innocent, chocolate brown eyes looked straight into hers. The answer was written in them.</p><p>Alice smiled from ear to ear and placed her hand on his cheek to draw him in for a kiss, a deep searing one that neither of them would ever forget. This was the man she wanted to be with forever.</p><p>“Is that a yes?” FP smiled happily when they slowly pulled back and chuckled a little.</p><p>“Yes, I will spend the rest of my life with you.” She answered lovingly, tears gathering in her eyes because of this perfectly beautiful moment between them.</p><p>Mary, Archie, Cheryl, Veronica, Hermione, Sweet Pea and Fangs started to applaud happily and stared in complete awe at the newly engaged couple. Everything about his proposal had been perfect and fitted so well with their relationship journey that it made them grateful that they were allowed to be part of it.</p><p>“For a man who never speaks that was quite some speech.” Alice had smiled up at him and grinned from ear to ear. Right there, almost three years ago, he hadn't said a thing to her and now he was declaring his love for her in a beautiful proposal.</p><p>“You are worth every single word.” He held her tightly and kissed her again, both of them melting away in their own little world.</p><p>With the stars, the moon, the candles, the woods and their family he couldn't even imagined a more perfect way to ask her to spend the rest of their lives together. It was the ending he believed they deserved.</p><p>Together they had suffered two decades of grief, isolation to the world, the guilt of feeling responsible for the death of a loved one and the painful reality of stories that impact their life but had been rewarded with something more beautiful than any fairytale.</p><p>A soulmate, someone who believes in them. A dark world had been colored again. The man who never speaks had turned into an artist, a gang leader, a father figure and the Ice Queen had showed everyone that all she had to offer was warmth. They had proved the world wrong. They had survived.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>A/N: You've made it to the end of The Man Who Never Speaks. Thank you a thousand times for reading. I've written this story during the toughest lockdown we've had so far, back in the winter of 2020. I think that in a dark time like this one we all in some way relate to the loneliness of isolation, whether that means literally like FP, or in terms of shutting out the world completely and not talking about the demons in your head the way Alice does.</em> </b>
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  <b> <em>I chose to make grief, faith, isolation and hope a returning theme as they are the things that in one way or another have been keeping me busy these months. Even when the events in this story aren't based on any personal experiences, it's the most personal one I've ever written. If even one of you felt a bit comforted by this, I am more than grateful. The thought of having people that we lost looking out for us even when they are not with us anymore, or the thought that everything happens for a reason is a comfort I really need to hold onto in times of uncertainty.</em> </b>
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  <b> <em>Hopefully you will read my next story too! It's going to be called: 18 years of Bonnie &amp; Clyde. It has both Teen and Adult Falice! </em> </b>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Now you hang from my lips<br/>Like the Gardens of Babylon<br/>With your boots beneath my bed<br/>Forever is the sweetest con."</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Over and over<br/>Lost again with no surprises<br/>Disappointments, close your eyes<br/>And it gets colder and colder<br/>When the sun goes down."</p></blockquote></div></div>
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